Wherever You Will Go
Disclaimer: Alias does not belong to me. Neither does any song
lyrics/pop culture references I use.
Notes: Thanks for all the feedback!
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Chapter One: Let Go
So lately been wondering
Who will be there to take my place
When I'm gone, you'll need love
To light the shadows on your face
A year. That's how long it had been since the accident. Since Danny died. A year as of today. It seemed forever. And yet, it seemed like just yesterday she had received the news.
"Ms. Bristow?" A man wearing a business suit in his late thirties stood at her door, a neutral expression on his face. "May I come in?"
"Uh, yeah, sure. Who are you?" As she led the man into her living room, Sydney wondered what was going on. Who was this man?
"I'm Sergeant Bickle of the LAPD," He flashed his badge. "I, uh, am aware that you knew a Daniel Hetch?" It sounded more like a question than a statement to Sydney. His impassive face gave away nothing.
"Yes. Danny is my fiancé… knew?" Danny, oh gosh, her mind reeled. What happened to Danny?
"Excuse me, Ms. Bristow? What was that?" He sounded confused, yet his face didn't change.
"You said… knew, " Sydney choked out. O gosh, Danny. She felt her knees grow weak as she dropped into a chair.
"Ms. Bristow, I really hate to be the one to tell you this, but, uh, Daniel was involved in a car accident this morning." The man's face still gave away nothing. She was finding this really frustrating.
"But… he's alright, isn't he? I mean he has to be. Of course he is," Sydney said, trying to convince herself more than she was asking the officer.
"Ms. Bristow. He passed away right after he was thrown from the car. He's dead." Thud. Sydney's heart dropped right into her stomach and kept on going. Tears filled her eyes.
"He's… gone?" She sobbed out. How? Danny, her Danny, was gone.
Sydney stared that the ceiling as she lay back on the couch. A year ago, that annoying officer had come here and told her everything. She didn't want to know. Didn't want to know that Danny was killed by a drunk driver. That there had been 3 cars involved but the other innocent man had gotten out with just some scratches. Why couldn't it have been Danny? She didn't care about a stranger. She cared about her fiancé. She had literally cried for a week. Francie and Will did everything they could think of to make her feel better. Eventually, she cleaned herself up for the funeral, where she met him. The other guy. The one who survived. At first, she had been mad. Who was he to come to her fiancé's funeral? He lived in that car accident and Danny died. Period. Soon enough, her anger dissolved when she learned exactly why he was there. She ended up crying about Danny to him later on. They'd kept in touch over the past year. A few phone calls here and there. She wasn't exactly sure what their relationship would be called. Were they acquaintances? Or friends? It didn't matter, because Sydney didn't want to think about it. A year and she was still grieving about Danny. It probably didn't seem that long to other people. To her, a year had been more than she could take. What would she have done without her friends? Tears filled her eyes. Danny… Why did she always cry when she thought of him? There was nothing she could do to change what happened. And Danny would be in her heart always. Why was she still crying? Francie would be back soon. Sydney would probably spill her guts to her best friend again. And Francie would comfort her and put aside everything else in the world. She couldn't let Francie do that again. Sydney needed to talk to someone, though. Someone neutral. But who? She thought of one person. But she quickly pushed that thought away. How could she impose on someone she hardly knew? Again? Francie had told her a million times to call him, but Sydney had refused to do it. Sydney knew she was just scared. Scared of getting too close. Sacred of her own feelings. And scared of losing him like she lost Danny. Scared of love. Even though she knew all this, she managed to convince herself that she didn't keep in touch that closely because she didn't want to impose. He had a life also. He deserved to continue it without having her go crying to him about Danny all the time. But would it really hurt that much to call him this once? She just wanted to talk to him. Didn't he say she could do that?
"Sydney Bristow?" A man in a formal suit approached her.
"Yeah? Who are you?" Sydney almost winced at how rude it sounded, but this was Danny's funeral. She could be as rude as she wanted.
"Michael Vaughn. I was, ah, also in the accident involving Daniel," He looked apologetic and sad for bringing it up in front of her. He held out his hand for her to shake it.
"Really? What are you doing here?" Sydney just stared at his hand. Why the hell would this man come to Danny's funeral? He didn't even know Danny. He would never get to know Danny. She squeezed her eyes shut as tears threatened to spill over.
"I'm really really sorry about your loss. Danny seemed like a great man," He pulled his hand back and stuffed it in his pocket. Danny had seemed like a great man. He seemed to love Sydney a lot. Michael could see the tears in her eyes. "Tissue?" He pulled out a Kleenex from his pocket.
"Thank you. What do you mean, Danny seemed like a great man? He WAS a great man. You never even knew him." Sydney dabbed her eyes with the tissue. It was becoming hard to stay mad at this guy. He gave her a tissue and really seemed sorry about Danny. She could see it in his green eyes.
"Uh, actually, I was with him when he, uh, passed away," Michael winced at the statement. Sydney didn't seem too happy to see him. It was quite understandable, seeing as she had jus lost the love of her life, "He loved you very much. I think he wanted me to tell you that. Which is kind of why I am here. That and to pay my respects. Danny was a great man."
"You what? You were with him? Why didn't I know this before?" Sydney was shocked at this revelation. This changed everything.
"The, uh, officer didn't tell you?" He was confused. The officer couldn't leave out something that big, could he?
"Sergeant Bickle, what kind of name is Bickle anyways? Uh, he never mentioned it. He only told me about how the cars collided and that Danny died a few seconds after he was thrown from the car. What did Danny tell you?" She looked about as confused as he did. This was quite a shock, after all.
"Well actually I think it was about a minute. The back of my car got slammed into, so I jumped out immediately and noticed Danny lying on the floor. I tried to keep him awake, and I asked him a few questions. He just told me, 'My name is Daniel Hetch. Please, sir, please tell my family I love them and my friends too. Also, sir, please tell my fiancé, Sydney, I love her very much. She's the most beautiful person in the world to me, and let her know I will always be with her. Always. I will always love her and care for her. Tell her not to miss me too much, she needs love and she needs someone else in her life after me. I want her to be happy. Tell her, will you? I love her.' I told him that if he stayed awake long enough for the ambulance, he could tell you everything himself. I couldn't keep him awake. He believed that by telling me that message, he could let go. I'm really sorry, Sydney. Maybe I should've tried harder to keep him awake." Michael looked so sad, his eyes full of sympathy for her.
"He said all that? He was hanging on for life and he wanted me to be happy? How did I deserve someone so selfless that he only cared about me? I loved Danny so much. And it hurt so much not to be able to say goodbye. I wanted him to know how much I loved him." Tears streamed down her cheeks.
Sydney, I know he meant what he said. He would want you to be happy not sad. And he'll always be with you, in your heart and in your mind. He knows you love him, Sydney. And if you ever need to talk to someone, you can talk to me, I guess. You probably won't because you have lots of friends already." He looked at the crying woman in front of him and pulled her into a little hug. They stayed in the hug for a moment, but that was all it took for a bond to form.
Sydney sighed. Danny was probably right. She couldn't grieve forever. And she could talk to Michael. She picked up the phone and dialed Michael's number.
"Hello?" He answered on the second ring.
"Mike?" Sydney asked tentatively, in a small voice. When had she become so scared of a… friend?
"Sydney? Hi. Is everything okay?" His voice expressed a lot of concern.
"Yeah. It's been a year, you know," She didn't have to say what, because she knew he would understand. He was like that. An understanding, caring, nice, platonic friend. Period.
"I know," He said softly. "How are things going?" He hoped she wasn't as sad as she used to be. It made him a little worried. He cared about her. She probably didn't feel the same way, because he was the one who always called her. It didn't matter. She was a grieving about her dead fiancé anyways and she probably didn't have time to entertain a new friend. If that's what they were. Friends, that is.
"I just, you know, wanted to talk. Is that ok? Are you busy? We can always talk tomorrow. In person. You know?" Since when did she start talking in choppy, strange sentences? Why was she so nervous? This was Michael, her friend. If that's what they were.
"Oh no, I'm not busy at all. Do you want to come over for dinner? And talk?" What was he doing? He wasn't supposed to be asking her to dinner. It sounded like a date. They weren't dating. Never were. Just friends.
"Yeah, that'd be good. 7 ok for you?" Dinner? Sounded so un-platonic-like. She didn't care. She just wanted to talk to him.
"Great. Bye Sydney, see you later." Dinner. He didn't have any food prepared. Might as well start now. 3 hours to prepare dinner, clean up his house, and take Donovan out for a walk so he wouldn't get antsy later. Should be enough time.
"Bye." Sydney hung up the phone and put it back into the cradle. She noticed she was still wearing her engagement ring. From Danny. A year and she still had her ring on. Danny was gone in person, but he remained in her heart. He always would. She took off her engagement ring and put it on the table. It was time to let go of the past.
I know now just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart, in your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time
