Chapter Two: Lost

Michael glanced around the living room. It was neat and clean. Not too clean though. He didn't want Sydney to think he was a neat freak. His bedroom was neat and clean also. So was the bathroom. And the rest of the house. Ok so he had gone slightly out of his way to clean it. But it was usually pretty neat. It was only six thirty. Half an hour more. He realized he was pacing around the living room and wondered why he was so nervous. It was just Sydney. Just Sydney. A friend. In truth, he had been really surprised when she called. He had thought something was wrong, since she never called. It wasn't as if they were great friends. It was kind of awkward between them actually. He couldn't figure out exactly why, though. When he was at Danny's funeral, he had figured out immediately which one was Sydney. She was beautiful. Even when she was crying. He hadn't been sure about why exactly he was at the funeral. Everyone there seemed to know Danny so well personally. Michael hadn't even known Danny that long. But Danny had asked him to tell Sydney his message and Michael couldn't deny a deceased man a favor. Besides, it didn't seem fair to Sydney either. She deserved to know how much Danny had loved her. It had been pretty hard to tell her, since it seemed as if she wanted to be left alone. Of course she wouldn't want to meet the man that had survived the same accident Danny had not. And when she started crying so hard, Michael decided to give her a small hug. In all honesty, he didn't even expect her to remember him a year after the accident. He thought he would just give her the message and they'd both move on. But yet here they were still. Friends. He had even met Francie and Will once. Michael looked at the clock again. Six forty five. Time to set the table. Should he put candles? No, this was not a date. It was just dinner. Besides, Sydney was probably still sad about Danny. It was understandable, after all. Sighing, he sat down on the couch and waited for Sydney.

-

It was almost seven o clock. It seemed really rude to be late for dinner with a guy who invited her just because she called him and wanted to talk. Sydney grabbed her keys and purse and ran out the door quickly. She got in her car and flipped through her wallet for Michael's address. He had given it to her along with his phone number when they had first met at the funeral. It seemed like such a long time ago that they met, yet it seemed like just yesterday she heard about Danny. She didn't expect to still be friends after a year. She thought that he'd forget all about her after the funeral, despite the fact that he told her she could call to talk anytime. Didn't he have a girlfriend? Sydney vaguely remembered him talking about meeting his girlfriend a few months ago. Well, that meant that they could only be friends right? Somehow that thought relieved and disappointed her at the same time. Michael was such a sweet guy. She could talk to him and he would just listen, like he understood. He was good looking too. Sydney shook her head and pushed the thoughts away as soon as they came. Remember Danny? Her brain yelled. But Danny wanted her to be happy also. And it had been a year. This was too confusing. It didn't matter anyways because he had a girlfriend. At least, she thought so. She pulled up to his garage and slowly walked out of the car and toward the front door. Up the stairs. No turning around now. Pressing the doorbell. Deep breath. The door swung open.

"Sydney! Hi! Come in," He winced. He sounded like a hyper six year old. He smiled and led her in the house.

"Hi Mike. Thanks for inviting me over," Her voice sounded calm and reasonable, but her brain was still arguing with her heart about Michael. His house smelled like Italian food. Must be the dinner. His house was pretty neat. And a dog sat in the hall, looking at her.

"No problem. Anytime you want to talk, I'm here. Yea. Uh, this is Donovan. I took him for a walk earlier so he wouldn't be so antsy. It always happens with guests. Do you want a tour or do you want to eat first or what?" Stop talking. He hoped the whole night wasn't going to be like this. He realized that he didn't know that much about her. Wasn't she a teacher? He had to remember to ask her if they ever had a serious and normal conversation.

"A tour would be good. Then we can eat." She reminded herself to smile and a small smile actually appeared. She was being so rude. She frowned again. Michael invited her over for dinner. Although, now that she was actually in his house, it seemed really awkward. She should be a little nicer at least. "Hi, Donovan. How are you?" Was she talking to his dog? "I'm sorry, I'm such a dork. Talking to your dog."

He just laughed. "No problem. I think he likes you. Besides, I talk to him all the time." Donovan had just walked up to Sydney and starting sniffing her feet.

"You do? No wonder he likes me. He sees and hears you way too much!" Sydney laughed at her joke and hoped that Michael wouldn't be offended.

Michael feigned a shocked and mad expression. "Oh really? You think you're so cool that you can just waltz in here and my faithful good dog will like you better? I don't think so." He crossed his arms and pretended to turn away, but Sydney could see the laughter dancing in his green eyes.

"I didn't waltz in, I walked. Let's ask him. Donovan, who do you like better? Me or that guy standing over there?" She sounded so serious that Michael couldn't keep it in anymore. He started laughing and that caused Sydney to also. While they were both laughing, Donovan just stared at the two of them.

When they managed to stop laughing, Michael gave her a tour of the house while muttering, "I am not 'that guy standing over there'. I am Donovan's owner. I feed him." The corners of Sydney's mouth tugged into a smile again. Their little joke had relieved all the tension. Well. Most of the tension between them. There was still a little. But it didn't matter, she felt normal again. She felt. Almost. Happy. A year of sadness and heartache. She deserved this. This happiness. With Michael. It felt a little strange. But she didn't dwell on it. Then she realized that she didn't know that much about him. He'd let her cry to him so much, yet she had never bothered to ask him many questions about himself. She could think of a million things she wanted to know about him. This dinner was going to be fun actually.

Michael noticed Sydney staring off into space a little. She looked like she was listening, but her mind was probably far away. A faint smile appeared on her face. She was so beautiful. And she seemed so happy and relaxed right now. He was glad. She didn't deserve any of the pain she had been feeling and a few times he wished he could take her pain away. That's what friends were for. Friends. That was the most he allowed himself to think about their relationship. He didn't even want to touch the subject of, maybe, someday, in a long time, something… more. "What are you thinking about?"

Sydney snapped out of her little daze as Michael's voice interrupted her thoughts. "Hmm? Oh nothing really. It just that… well it's a little dumb. And stuff like that. Ok. Gonna shut up now…" she trailed off.

Michael led her to the dining room. "You looked really happy and I don't know, content, when you were thinking. I was just curious as to what it was about." He smiled at her and pulled out a chair for her. "Hopefully you like Italian food."

"I love Italian food. Smells good," she smiled, knowing that she was inching away from his question. It seemed kind of weird to tell him that she was thinking about him. "Did you make the sauce yourself?"

"Ah, I see we are subtly trying to change the subject. It's ok if you don't want to tell me, Syd. And yes I made the sauce myself." His eyes sparkled. "It's a secret recipe," he added in a mock whisper. He wondered what Sydney had really been thinking about. Danny maybe? But there hadn't been any sign of sorrow in her eyes. He shook his head. If Sydney didn't want to tell, that was her business.

"I'll tell you. Just not right now. I'm enjoying the food." How was she going to tell him that she had been thinking of him? Maybe he would forget. It didn't seem very likely.

As soon as they both finished their food and the dishes were put in the dishwasher, Michael led her into the dining room and they settled down on the couch. "So what were you thinking about? I want to know what memory made you so content." He grinned at her questionably.

"It's just that… I realized that I don't know that much… about you… even though… youletmecryonyourshoulder so much." She wasn't sure if he would even be able to understand what she was saying. Sydney stared at the floor as her cheeks turned a little pink.

"Oh." For once, Michael was at a loss for words. She had been thinking about him? "Well, I don't know that much about you either. We could ask each other some questions, I guess. Or do you not really want to know that much about me. Cuz that would be okay also." He was sort of rambling now.

"I like asking questions. It's fun. Gosh, I sound like a dork. But I don't know, I'm not in the mood right now. Can we save the question-a-thon for later? You can come to my place tomorrow for dinner, since I'm here tonight." That didn't come out the way she intended. It sounded like she really didn't want to know anything about him.

"It's alright, I understand. Today must have been kind of hard on you. Want to watch a movie instead? To relax?"

"Thanks. Do you have anything funny? Funny would be good."

"Shrek? Do you like that movie?"

"Shrek… oh…" Tears filled Sydney's eyes.

"Syd? What's wrong? Are you okay?" Michael was worried. She had been so happy. Did he do something?

"It was Danny's favorite movie…" She started crying. Dammit, why was she crying? She was supposed to be having fun. She was supposed to let go of the past and embrace the future. It was so cliché but so true. Danny would always be with her, she knew that but why was she wailing now? She probably looked like an idiot.

Michael immediately sat down next to her and pulled her in a hug. "Shh. It's okay, Syd. It's okay. Pain is a hard thing to deal with. I wish I could take it away for you. I know you still love Danny very much." He soothed her gently and just held her in his arms.

Sydney held on to him as hard as she could, in fear that he would go away like Danny had. She didn't want to lose another person. She didn't want to lose Michael.

After a few minutes, Sydney's crying stopped. She pulled back from Michael's embrace and wiped her eyes. "Thank you… so much. I still want to watch the movie, though. I love it too." Danny was gone, lost forever. But she had someone. Danny was right. She was moving on.

"Ok." Michael popped the disc into the DVD player and pushed play. He sat back down next to Sydney and let her lean onto him. He put his arm around her shoulder and they focused their attention on the movie.