Chapter Three: Gone

When you came to me, you said love could not erase,
The ever-present mem'ry of another face.
I tried to make you love me; how could I be so blind?
To think I'd be the one to change your mind.

Sunlight streamed in from the windows. Even though the curtains were shut, the room was bathed in yellow bright light, not uncommon for a Los Angeles morning. The sun also gave off a feeling of warmth, which Sydney felt, even in her sleep. "Mmmm," she murmured as she opened her eyes slowly and yawned. Her eyes shot wide open when she realized she was in unfamiliar surroundings and not in her own room. That must have been why the bed felt so comfy and different. She opened her mouth to yell, when she sat up quickly and saw Michael dozing in a huge armchair curled up in a blanket. He looked so adorable and so much like a little boy. She sighed a big sigh of relief, for a moment there, she thought she had been kidnapped. She scratched her head and wondered why she was still in his house. They had been watching a movie… Suddenly, her thoughts were interrupted as Michael stirred in his chair and mumbled something like, "Stop jumping, Donovan." Sydney laughed out loud at this and it caused him to open his eyes and wake up.

"Hey, Syd. Good morning." He sat up and stretched out. "What's so funny?"

"You just said, 'Stop jumping, Donovan' in your sleep." Sydney couldn't stop smiling. He looked so perfect despite the fact that he had just woken up. Just like… Danny. Sydney frowned. Why was she still thinking about Danny? She thought she was moving on. Apparently not. She was being unfair to Michael. He treated her so nicely and let her cry, let everything go her way. And she treated him like. Like a crying post. She didn't give him the respect he deserved. Maybe she better tell him. But she didn't want to let him go either. Even though she couldn't give him what he needed. She just wanted the comfort he gave her. Did that mean she didn't really like him? What was going on? He probably slept in that chair all night because of her, too. "Mike, did you sleep in that chair all night?"

"Hmm? Yeah. I was afraid you'd wake up and start panicking because the room was unfamiliar." He noticed Sydney's suddenly stricken expression when he answered her question. "What's wrong?" She had just been smiling a second ago. Last night, he had watched her sleep and she looked so peaceful.

"Nothing… why didn't you just wake me up last night?" Dammit, why did he always have to be so selfless? She needed a reason to not like him. But there was nothing that bad about him. She decided that she would just tell him, since now he was looking at her like he didn't believe her. "Michael–"

"Oh it was cause – you go first." They had started talking at the same time.

"Oh, no, it was nothing. What were you saying?" Sydney sighed. She should've just come out and said it. But she couldn't. She wouldn't. How selfish was that? Just because she lost Danny, she was now clinging to Michael. She didn't even know him that well. Gosh, she was surprised he hadn't told her to back off yet. But he wasn't like that. And she was absolutely positive that if they had met in any other circumstances, they would probably be dating. As soon as she thought that, she mentally kicked herself. What if Michael had a girlfriend already? Dammit, when had her life become so complicated?

"I tried to wake you up. I did actually. After the movie, I shook you awake and went to get some tea. When I got back you had fallen asleep and absolutely didn't want to get up. And you looked so tired, so I just carried you to the guest room and covered you with a blanket. Then, I fell asleep in the chair." Michael studied Sydney's expression carefully. She didn't look like she was listening very careful. What was that woman thinking? She was always thinking about something. And he could read her almost like a book. Her thoughts right now were probably somewhat conflicting. Sydney had a look on her face, like she wanted to say something, but didn't know how. Or almost, she needed to say something, but didn't want to. The phone rang and jolted both of them back to earth.

"Sorry. Hello?" Michael's face broke into a smile as he heard who it was. "Hey!" He laughed softly and said, "Yeah, definitely. I'll be there. Miss you. Love you, too… Ok bye."

Sydney's face almost fell when she heard his conversation. No doubt he had a girlfriend. Still, she tried to look not to crestfallen. Surprisingly, she felt both a little jealous and a little relieved. Apparently the jealously got the better of her. "Was that your girlfriend?" She winced at the sharpness in her voice. She probably had jealously written all over he face.

"Girlfriend?" He looked confused. She thought he had a girlfriend? This whole time? "What girlfriend?"

"Oh, I thought, you had… a girlfriend… uh. Never mind. I thought. Before. No. Nothing. Never mind." Wow. Now she sounded amazingly stupid.

"Oh, gosh, Sydney. I don't have a girlfriend. We broke up. I think I know who you're thinking about. No, we broke up." His mind reeled. Sydney thought he had a girlfriend. That meant she thought of him as just a friend. Well they were just friends. Besides he didn't know that much about her anyway. Besides, Sydney always acted a little funny around him. Almost like… she was holding back. No. Why would she do that?

"Oh. Who was on the phone then?" Sydney felt a little dumb for jumping to conclusions now. She should've known that he didn't have a girlfriend. The way he acted towards her clearly showed that he really –nodontgothere- liked her. At least Sydney was pretty sure about it. She thought she was moving on. She wanted to like him. She thought she could. But sometimes she just felt like maybe she was just kidding herself. Kidding him. She thought she liked him. But then she would always start comparing him to Danny. They were completely different people. Sydney felt so confused. She was so mixed up.

"My niece. You thought it was my girlfriend?" He looked at her. She looked a little embarrassed. But she still didn't smile. That smile. It lit her whole face up. He hadn't seen it very much, but last night, she had smiled a lot. It made her look so natural.

"Hmm. Yeah. Sorry." She shook her head. Somehow this conversation wasn't going the way she imagined. When she had woken up, she imagined the two of them having a nice conversation, in which, maybe, she'd get to tell him how she felt. Now, she wasn't even sure how she felt.

"Don't worry about it." Michael waved it off with one hand. "I have to get to work at noon, and it's about 10 right now. You want a quick breakfast?" He asked her reluctantly, as if he was sure she'd almost blurt out the answer "no" before he finished.

"Sure… where do you work? I never bothered to ask." Sydney followed him to the kitchen.

"Hmm, nowhere exciting. Actually, it's really boring… Vice-president of a bank. Nothing compared to your job huh?" Michael tried to lighten the mood and was glad to see Sydney smile, a small smile.

"I guess not," She joked. This was the conversation she had imagined with him. "I'm an English Lit teacher. It's a lot of fun actually. But I'm sure running a bank is also." She smiled a full smile as the two of them continued their conversation throughout breakfast.

"So… are we still up for dinner tonight? If you don't want to cook, we could… you know, go out?" He looked very hopeful. Sydney suddenly got a sick feeling in her stomach. She felt like she was leading him on. Her feelings for him were very uncertain and he deserved to know what was going on in her head.

"Michael… uh… I need to tell you something. Look, you are a fantastic person. I am so glad and so grateful that you have been here for me through this hard time. But, it's just that. I thought I liked you a lot. I really did. But now I realize that even though I thought I could let go of Danny, I'm still really uncertain about my feelings. I'm really sorry. You deserve a lot better. I think I'm going to go now. Bye, Michael." She grabbed her stuff and ran, but not before seeing the hurt that flashed in his eyes. She felt absolutely horrible, but she knew she was right. He didn't deserve the way she had been treating him.

"You can always call me, Sydney!" Damn, he sounded so desperate. How did this happen? When he first met Sydney, he'd sworn he wouldn't fall for her. Apparently, it hadn't gone that well. He had been almost sure she felt the same way. Where did he go wrong?

When you came to me, I said love will find a way,
For ev'ry heart that leaves, another heart will stay
I guess you couldn't see past the shadows in the night.
It seems the time for us just wasn't right.

-

Sydney opened the door to her house slowly, hoping to avoid Francie. She had heard what Michael shouted when she ran out the door and it made her feel even worse. She didn't deserve any of the kindness he gave her. Apparently, her hopes weren't about to be answered. Francie was in the living room waiting for her with Will.

"So, Syd. Care to tell us where you have been all night?" Francie jokingly asked as Will elbowed for her to be quiet. He had seen Sydney's sad expression. "Oh Sydney, I was just kidding, hon, are you okay?" Francie's voice contained a lot of concern.

"No." Sydney's voice was quiet and small. "I was at Michael's. Nothing happened. I fell asleep during a movie. And… I totally ruined any chance I had with him…" She couldn't cry. It wasn't right. She had messed up and because she had told him off, she wasn't allowed to cry. The story spilled out as she sat down on the couch. Francie hugged her immediately as Will came over and patted her on the shoulder.

-

2 Weeks Later

Sydney stepped out of her car slowly, walking up Michael's driveway. After two weeks of agonizing, she realized he deserved a full explanation before they could move on. She pressed the doorbell and heard the ring from within the house. The door swung open slowly and Sydney saw a little girl gripping the doorknob.

"Hi, lady. Who are you?" She looked about 6 years old and her hair was in pigtails. Her smile was absolutely adorable.

"Uh, uh… I'm a friend of Michael's. Is he home?" Sydney was thrown off by the little girl. She wasn't at the wrong house. Did he move? No way, it was too soon.

"Oh, Uncle Mike —" the little girl was interrupted by a woman's voice. "Olivia? Sweetie, who's at the door?" A woman who looked remarkably like Michael appeared next to little Olivia. "Hi, and you are?"

"Oh, I'm a friend -notanymorenotsinceyouruineditall- of Michael's. Are you his, uh, sister?" Sydney was getting confused. This was Michael's house, so why was his sister's family there?

"Yes, I'm his sister. Bridgette. Nice to meet you…"

"Sydney."

"Sydney. Nice to meet you. Well, Michael didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?" Sydney was suddenly getting a sinking feeling in her stomach.

"He went back to France. Indefinitely. Our mother suddenly fell ill, so the bank transferred him to the branch in France. He decided to move almost as if it were no choice at all. Of course, I didn't know he had a friend like you. I would think it would have mad his decision harder. Are you sure he didn't tell you?"

"He… didn't tell me. He's not coming back? Ever?" Sydney wanted to cry now. He was gone. And she was so, so stupid.

"I'm not really sure if he is or not. He let us stay here for now but he hasn't taken all his stuff. I'll tell him you stopped by, Sydney. Are you okay?" Bridgette noticed that Sydney looked very pale and surprised. "You guys weren't… ah… dating, were you?"

"What? Oh no no, nothing like that. I'm sorry to bother you, Bridgette."

"Oh, don't worry about it. Bye, Sydney." Bridgette was still curious but it wasn't nice to pry. She could always ask Michael what the deal was anyway.

Sydney climbed in her car and drove home. As soon as she got home, she ran to her bedroom and began to cry into her pillow.

And if I'm gone before you stir,
Well, you can find me in your heart.
Who can say, if it's right or wrong?
I've waited for you too long.
And if I can't hold on, I'm gone.