... ~*~ ... Wanting to Forget, Wishing to Remember ... ~*~ ...

~By: Lauren~

-Chapter 4-

"Wrong Place at the Wrong Time"

Hitomi pulled off some blades of grass. Not thinking about things took a lot of energy, especially when the things you were working on not thinking about constantly pushed at your thoughts. Where was this place? She knew that it most definitely wasn't her world. After all, she had never seen a cat girl before and after Gaddess had left her, she had stumbled around the garden aimlessly. The swirling mass in the sky was Earth and it's moon. That only finalized that she wasn't home and was indeed in another world. After a while, she found a tall oak tree, which Hitomi proceeded to climb until she got to the very top. Looking around, she could see the large and very expensive looking castle better and outside the courtyard, across the distance appeared to be a village and market place bustling with life. The castle was enormous, with at least five swirling towers and it seemed to glow with the gray, blue, yellow and white colors that glimmered off it in the sunlight. Hitomi didn't care that her dress had ripped or that it felt as if every ounce of energy within her was gone. She clambered back down the tree to fight her way back to the now familiar water fountain. There she soaked herself with the water and then sat down to think about what she would do.

Hitomi saw nobody familiar and so she found herself agreeing that she would have to trust these people, at least until she got home. For all she knew, they could already know how to send her back so Hitomi decided she would at least pretend to get along with them. Not only that, but everyone had kept mentioning something that had happened to her at a park and it seemed to have something to do with her injuries. She was a smart enough girl to figure out it must have been something bad. Hitomi had a vague queasy feeling as she tried to think back. It was so hard to think, like her thoughts had to move through sludge, or something. The more she tried to think about her last moments in her world or being in the world of Gaea in the past the dizzier she felt. She felt surreal, like everything was happening to someone else. She tried to fight the hot tears from coming down her cheeks. She was one that did not like to cry, but they still came, mingling with the water that still remained from when she had dipped her head into the water fountain. She had not cried since her parent's divorce and yet the tears still came. Everything was so quiet around her. The only sounds were the occasion chirp of a bird or Hitomi's muffled sobs.

But she was partly thankful for the silence. Hitomi savored silence. There were times in life when there were no words and no way to communicate to anyone else what you were feeling. She hated those times, but she valued the silence. In silence, she could hide and lick her wounds. In silence, she could protect her heart. In silence, she could be free.

~*~

Van felt himself near tears. Everything had crumbled. He was ten million steps back from where he had begun. For the first time he wished that Hitomi hadn't returned, at least not in the condition she was in. He obviously had needed more time to figure out how to make things work. Van's hands trembled at his sides. Things were so delicate with Hitomi, for so many reasons, that he had to be cautious with his own heart. Van had thought that his dreams were coming true. He had thought that after so long, he and Hitomi would finally be together, and he and his love would never again be parted or misunderstand one another...

For a moment, he had held everything he wanted and needed and desired and loved, and it had slipped right through his fingers.

All his dreams, all his hopes, all his prayers...

Dust.

Van lifted up his head just in time to see Hitomi move. It felt like she had been sitting out in the courtyard, lying in the grass for hours, which she had. Gaddess had spoken to her before he left her to ponder something he had told her and then Van had wandered out to a pathway outside the garden. He spotted Hitomi and was transfixed, watching her confused form trying to make out what was going on. She had sat there, basking in the golden sunlight until Van was sure she had fallen asleep. After a few moments, the teenager had gotten up to dip her head into the fountain, enjoying the cool feel of the water. She then decided to explore the gardens some more before refreshing herself a second time and lying under the shade of a towering tree. Van sighed. He had no idea how to make Hitomi remember Gaea or to get her back home. And what if someone had purposely erased Hitomi's memory? At least the young king was able to keep Allen from seeing her at the moment. He was able to wriggle out of the mess by telling the knight that Hitomi was not in a condition for visitors.

Suddenly, Hitomi pulled herself up and was moving. From the shade of a weeping willow, she stepped into the softly lit clearing. Water dripped from her hair, falling to the grass and dirt below. Mud caked her shoes and strained her slightly wet nightgown in strange patterns. Her nightgown seemed ragged as it had become muddy from the earlier trek of the courtyard and it had an enormous tear across the bottom of it. Van knew what she had been doing when she disappeared into the garden. She had climbed up one of the trees, probably for a better look of where she was. At least she was still adventuresome. But it was her face that held his interest. Her heavy bangs covered smoky jade eyes and blocked them from his view. He could see the salty tears sliding down her pale cheek, mingling with the remnants from the water fountain. Her lips were turned down in an unhappy manner and her nose twitched with her muffled sobs.

For a single moment, she looked up, seemingly to search for one she could almost sense. Though it was but a moment, to the one hidden on the sidewalk, it appeared an eternity. The mist swirled around her face at the sudden movement, causing a transparent cloud to glide about her figure. Her longing eyes grazed over his hiding place, unseeing. They were fogged with tears unshed. As he watched, she tried to wipe them away, only to have them newly replaced within seconds.

Her face seemed so haunted. Even so close, she appeared distant. Never before had he witnessed her like that. He prayed he would never have to again. Slowly, so slowly, she turned and walked back the way she had came, back towards the castle. In the distance, Hitomi spotted him watching her. It made her feel unease. He was too still, too quiet, like he was in shock or too afraid to do anything. Why was everyone watching her like that?

Suddenly, a pang of guilt washed over Hitomi. Van had been nothing except kind to her since she had woken up and she had only repaid him by accusing him of hurting her. She had to at least apologize for her behavior. And she had to make as many allies as she could as long as she was going to be in this strange place. She carefully walked over to the tanned boy before stopping a few feet from him.

Van saw her approaching him cautiously. He wasn't quite sure how to act and so he was quiet, pretending he hadn't seen her in the garden. His eyes stared forward, scanning the wild flowers that seemed so tranquil.

"Um...Van? That's your name...right?" Hitomi edged closer to the boy. She followed his eyesight, gazing at the place she had just been sitting only minutes ago.

Van nodded absently. "Yeah, it's Van." He tried to keep himself back, to hold himself from lunging out and bringing Hitomi into a tight embrace. He wanted nothing more than to simply hold her, to rub her back, to smell her hair, to whisper soothing words in her ear...but he could do none of that. It took every ounce of willpower to resist this urge as he tried to build a mental wall between himself and Hitomi. She had forgotten him and would return someday back to her own world. What was the use of getting to know her all over again when it would end soon any ways? But the sad glint in her eyes caused this wall to melt.

"I...I'm s-sorry for what I said before...a-about...you know..." Hitomi stammered, a blush rising in her face. Why did she feel so nervous yet giddy around him?

"It's ok." Van whispered to her in response. "Um...I'll ...do everything in my power to help you return home...ok?"

"Really?!" Hitomi perked up instantly.

The joy in Hitomi's voice crushed Van's heart. It was bleeding inside of him. She wanted to return her. She wanted to leave him. He nodded yes.

"T-Thank you." The girl replied before a comforting silence enveloped them.

"So what have you been up to since I last saw you? I know you don't remember it...but it was about two years ago. What's happened to you over that time...?" Van tried to make conversation. He hoped she hadn't met any special boy over that time.

Hitomi went into deep thought before she finally spoke. "I guess I must have been here before if everyone insists I have...but well...in the last two years I've been going to school. I've been studying hard. My parents got divorced and I'm living with my mother now but we don't get along much anymore. I use to spend the weekends with my dad but he's always busy so I don't go there often. My best friend is going out with my other friend...and I kind of just trail after them. I'm on the track team but I don't have much of a social life. That's about it..."

Van mentally sighed a breath of relief. She was still single.

"And what about you?" Hitomi's question surprised him. "What have you done since I've last supposedly been here?"

"I've been...working on restoring Fanelia. On restoring this land after the war...and that's mainly it." Van replied, his gaze seemingly lost over the distance as he looked back into the past. More silence overtook the two.

"King Van! I thought you said she was in no condition for visitors?!" Allen's voice broke the silence as he strutted up to the pair.

Van spun around, glaring daggers at Allen. Great. This just wasn't his day.

At first Hitomi was swept back by the beauty of this woman until she realized it was indeed a man. A very handsome man who had wispy locks of golden hair and fair skin that held back strong muscles. He seemed to have a glow about him, a sort of mystifying aura. Hitomi's peering gaze was stopped as the man suddenly took her into a warm tight embrace. Hitomi was in too much shock to struggle and all she could do was blush.

"Allen." The venom in Van's voice was strong. "Hitomi needs her rest."

And then the warm body was off of Hitomi, and she was left standing blankly in the cold. Looking at the two men standing side by side, she realized that the person by the name of Allen wasn't as handsome when compared to Van. Van had more of a dark, esoteric complexion. He was tough looking, a little rough about the edges with his raven hair and darkened skin. But there was an air about him, something that caught your attention. Maybe it was his wild spirit. While on the other hand, Allen had a refined look. He seemed almost angelic with his blond hair, his light but not pale skin and even his clothing appeared very formal and neat. When around him Hitomi felt awe struck but at the same time restless. But both men had a commanding look.

Hitomi's jaw dropped. "D-Did you just call him...King...?" The honey haired girl felt as if her ears were deceiving her.

"Yeah." Allen nodded his head slowly, giving her a confused look. Turning to Van, he muttered, "She really must have forgotten everything..."

"Lady Hitomi..." Van bowed lightly. "I'm sorry if I forgot to mention that...yes, I am King of Fanelia. Fanelia is the country you're currently in."

Hitomi's eyes bulged at this. She had never been in the presence of royalty before. And she had been so rude to him before too!! Her face reddened as she bowed repeatedly. "I'm so sorry! I had no idea that you were a...a king!"

"It's ok! Stop bowing." Van tried not to chuckle as he resisted placing his hands on her shoulder.

Allen rolled his eyes at this. "Since it appears you don't remember me, I'd like to introduce myself. I am Allen Schezar, a Caeli Knight."

Hitomi blushed at the knight and bowed politely. "Nice to meet you, um...Sir Allen." All the formalities were starting to drive Hitomi crazy. "I'm Hitomi but it seems you already know this! Well...either way...I'm hungry so if one of you would kindly point me in the direction of the kitchen....?"

"Sure. Would you like me to walk you there?" Van jumped to offer her his company.

"I believe you have a meeting you should be attending to right now, your highness." Allen mocked Van by using his title. "I'll walk this lovely woman to the kitchen while you go to your meeting. The country needs to be run by somebody and they can't be having that somebody wasting their day wandering about the castle."

Van had to bite his lip to keep from lashing out at the snobby knight. Through clenched teeth, he bid the two farewell and then disappeared into the castle.

Allen turned towards Hitomi, smiling happily. "Allow me." He held out his arm, waiting for Hitomi to take it. Trembling, she slipped her arm into his.

"Before we go to the kitchen...do you think I could change first? I remember where my room is, if you don't mind waiting." Hitomi looked down at her muddy and torn garment then back up at Allen.

"It's no problem at all." Allen replied and they both progressed into the castle.

~*~

"Sir Van, we need to speak to you about something important." An elderly man sat across from Van rubbing his eyes tiredly. It had been a long and busy day.

"Yes?" Van sighed, tapping his fingers impatiently on the table.

"Well, not meaning to be rude but the days are flying by and you're not getting any younger. You need to produce a suitable heir for the throne someday soon." The man went on. "I know of many beautiful woman who would love to be by your side."

"Let me guess." Van snorted at the idea of marrying a so-called beautiful woman. He knew what the man was getting at. "You want me to marry a flirtatious, ditzy, stupid airhead girl who is a daughter of some noble or prince. And it is also for the 'sake of the country' I suppose." Van rolled his eyes, tired of having this kind of talk with these people. He knew whom he wanted to marry and she was NOT some airhead rich girl who only wanted to marry the king for the riches and fame.

"Of course not! Sir, I've already spoken with some royal people in Asturia. They've agreed to send some of their finest young ladies over for you. If you married one of them it would bring our two countries closer together." The man pushed further which only annoyed Van more.

"I have other things to worry about." Van began to stand up.

"Like what? That Mystic Moon girl?" The man snarled with anger. He had been trying to marry off Van for the last two years and he just wouldn't follow with his plans.

"Don't speak of Hitomi like that!" Van retorted.

"She'll never love you back! She left you to return to her world years ago! Let go of her Sir, it's a futile fight. How do you know if she still loves you? I've heard she's returned but is missing her memory. What if she purposely forgot about you? Even if she regained her memories, maybe her feelings have changed. I'm not trying to be rude but you need to think of the future of this country!!" The man bellowed.

"SHUT UP!!" Van screamed, slamming his fists onto the oak table. A loud thud echoed through the silenced room. "SHUT UP! You will NOT speak of Hitomi like that in my presence!! DO YOU HEAR ME?! I REFUSE TO BE MARRIED OFF TO SOME GIRL!"

Behind him, Van heard the crash of glass breaking into pieces. Spinning around he found Hitomi staring blankly at him while Allen stood next to her, raising a skeptic eyebrow. In front of her feet was a shattered plate mixed with pieces of food. Hitomi turned around on her heel, marching as fast as she could out of the room.

Van could only eye the place she had once been standing. He turned his gaze to Allen.

The knight shrugged. "She wanted to ask you for a tour of the city...so I brought her here..."

~*~

Lauren: No, I do not have anything against food and plates! They just...happen to get broken a lot in the story it seems. First Van's glass, then the plate Merle was carrying and now Hitomi's plate! No! I can't kill off all of the dish wear! What will people eat on?! Ok...erm...any ways...what do you all think of the new chapter? Jeez, I am so evil, aren't I?! Thanks for all the great reviews! Enjoy!