... ~*~ ... Wanting to Forget, Wishing to Remember ... ~*~ ...

~By: Lauren~

-Chapter 5-



"You May Never Run"

"I'm going to make Hitomi remember! I swear I will and I'll try every little thing!" Merle stamped her foot determinedly on the hard floor.

"And how do you propose to do that?" Dryden yawned, scratching the stubble on his chin. His curly chocolate colored hair cascaded down his shoulders where it was loosely tied back in a ponytail. His sparkling eyes scanned Merle over, both of them filled with mirth.

"I-I'll figure out something! I'll...WHACK HER OVER THE HEAD!! Or...or something like that!" Merle was near tears now as she bit her lip to prevent them from spilling over.

"Now don't cry. We'll find a way, maybe not right away but we will. And it might work itself out too." Dryden frowned at her outburst but was a bit confused.. "Why does it matter so much to you? Shouldn't you be happy, now you have Van all to yourself."

"It's just like you to always question things Dryden. And I do have somebody I'm seeing." Merle crossed her arms angrily before the flair died down. After a short pause, she continued softly. "I don't even understand this all myself. So how can I possibly explain it to you if I don't know?" With this said, it only served to confuse Dryden more than he already was. He looked so serious that Merle could picture him trying to put a jigsaw puzzle together in his head, struggling to make sense out of everything. Merle sighed in thought. "Let's just put it like this. One day, it was as if somebody poured cold water all over me. It was waking me up from a daze. This helped me realize that whatever I did wouldn't do any good because Van had already chosen Hitomi, long before he even thought of me romantically."

"I see..." Dryden nodded, still absently stroking his chin.

"I can just see in his eyes that he loves her. And...if it weren't for her lack of memory I KNOW she'd feel the same way!! So I decided, instead of trying to take him for myself, why not just put him together with Hitomi again to end his misery?" The tears were now trickling down her cheeks. Tears that formed from the pain and remorse she felt in her heart. They gathered in her eyes and blurred her vision. "I have somebody else I care for now but...you know that I do love Van. And I want him to be happy. That's what you would naturally want for someone whom you care about, right?"

Dryden could only nod in agreement as he patted her back gently to comfort her.

~*~

Hitomi buried her face in the bed sheets, breathing in a strange scent that she figured was from what they used to wash the clothe. Not that it really mattered much...it probably wasn't the normal baby soft cleaning her mother used. She missed that smell, the smell of all things familiar to her. These things were...foreign. She let out a sigh. Why was everything so confusing? Why did this 'Van' guy love her any ways? She didn't even remember him. Was she supposed to love him back? No, that couldn't be right. She couldn't love somebody she didn't even know. If she were to ever love him, and she wasn't saying she would, Hitomi would have to get to know this stubborn king first. Tears spilled out of her eyes, soaking into the bed sheets. She mumbled to herself as she cried. "I never asked for this! I never asked for any of this! I want to go back home! I want to be with things I know! I want Yukari and Amano! But...I bet they don't even notice I'm gone." That only made the tears come out stronger and faster. "I want to go back to how things were before I showed up at this...this place!" Throwing out her fists in an act of anger, she slammed them into the mattress where they only bounced back. Suddenly, something hard cracked into the back of her skull. Hitomi's world went black.

~*~

"WHAT did you DO to her?!" Van cursed under his breath, trying his hardest not to yell at Merle.

"What?" Merle gave him an innocent shrug. "I was just trying to help her regain her memory. Maybe a jolt to the head will make it all come back to her! When she wakes up and remembers, you'll thank me then!" The cat girl smirked defiantly, crossing her arms.

"Yes but you probably gave her another CONCUSION! Now she'll think we're trying to KILL her too!!" Van pushed his hand up to his throbbing temples. Hitomi was sprawled out on Vans bed again and little did the Mystic Moon girl know, but the room she had been claiming as her own was truly the kings. But Van didn't mind, he had only moved to one down the hallway and had taken his things with him.

"Well...I'll just tell her it was an accident." Merle raised her eyebrows suggestively, wanting Van's approve with what she had done.

"Sure, whatever." Van rolled his eyes. For some strange reason, he was never able to stay mad at Merle for very long. Even if she HAD just knocked out the girl he loved. It was...well, for good reasons. "I just hope you didn't kill all her brain cells..."

Suddenly, both of them froze. Hitomi winced in her sleep, obviously in some kind of pain. Whether it was physical or emotion, neither of them where quite sure.

"S-Should we wake her up?" Merle edged closer to the bed nervously. Hitomi must have been having some kind of nightmare.

"Whatever she's seeing isn't something pretty." Van frowned as Hitomi's eyebrows creased together and she winced. If it weren't for the single stray tear that trickled from her eye, he would have let her sleep more. He tentatively reached forward, grabbing onto Hitomi's shoulders. Slowly Van began to shake her gently but enough that it would wake her up.

~*~

Hitomi didn't know where she was. All around her was blackness. It was a dark void yet somehow...it felt...familiar. She tried to make out what this place was but could come up with no answers. "H-hello?" She murmured, listening to her own voice echo for what seemed like forever. There was no reply. After a few moments, Hitomi felt as if somebody was standing near her. Glancing around though, her eyesight saw nothing but black.

"You wanted to believe that you were completely content with what you had. You figured, why go out and take a chance elsewhere, if you already possessed what you believed made life worth living. You figured that if you're already completely happy, what could happen elsewhere but ill? That is, if you were certain that you were truly content..."

Hitomi's shocked face spun around, searching for the owner of the voice. "What is THAT supposed to mean?! Show yourself!!"

The voice seemed to laugh. It was mocking her. After a few moments, the chuckling disappeared and the voice grew serious once again. "Others may wish nothing but to remain in their sanctuary of familiarity forever. But no matter how much it hurts to change, there are some things from which you may never run. And the painful decision you fear the most...becomes the only choice..."

"What do you mean?! Are you the reason I don't remember anything of Gaea?! Was this the only choice I had? To forget?! What choice was it? I don't get it!! Please, explain it to me!!" Hitomi cried out for some kind of answer from the voice. It seemed like it talked in riddles. It just didn't make any sense to her.

"Hitomi Ka-"

And all Hitomi could see was bright golden light. So bright, it blinded her. After a few moments her vision came into focus and she could see Van and that strange cat girl...Merle, staring down at her.

"Are you ok? You seemed to be having a nightmare..." Van sheepishly told her. He was still shy after what she had heard him say.

"Is that why you woke me up?" Hitomi rubbed her aching head. She felt a large lump buried under her hair. "So I was dreaming? And who whacked me on my head...?"

"Erm..." Merle scooted closer to the bed. "You fell backwards." She lied, crossing her fingers behind her back. She just couldn't come up with an excuse for 'accidentally' slamming a pan into the back of Hitomi's head.

"Oh." Hitomi raised a questioning eyebrow but decided she would worry about the truth later. She had bigger things to worry about other than...being knocked unconscious. Well, maybe. Who was that voice? And what did it mean? It had sounded so...cryptic. It was ready to give her answers to her questions and then THEY had wake her up!!!

Quietly so that no one else heard, she repeated the words under her breath. "But no matter how much it hurts to change, there are some things from which you may never run. And the painful decision you fear the most...becomes the only choice..."

But Hitomi never took into consideration that cats had better hearing than most normal human beings.

"What do you mean by that?" Merle turned towards Hitomi, giving her a demanding look.

"By what?" Hitomi tried her best to appear clueless. If Merle could lie, so could she.

Merle wasn't fooled by her act but instead of pushing Hitomi into further questioning, she stopped the conversation. She'd ponder about what Hitomi had said later on. "I'll go get you some food. You're probably hungry." And with that said, Merle scampered out of the uncomfortable room.

Hitomi stared at her hands.

Van stared at his.

Crickets chirped outside, even if it wasn't very close to dark.

Hitomi's stomach grumbled, causing her to blush a color near to that of a tomato.

"Here, I'll go get you a glass of water." Van turned, rushing over to the bathroom that was connected to the bedroom. Within seconds the king emerged from the exquisite and very expensive looking bathroom, balancing a clear glass of cold sink water in his hands. He was making an attempt not to spill the liquid but at the same time was trying to rush back to the bedside. This was not working for as he almost 'bounced' over to Hitomi his foot caught on the tiniest bit of pushed-up marble. Van went flying forward, losing the little grace he had had in the past. Hitomi all but screamed as Van flew towards her at an amazingly high speed while the glass of water launched into the air, heading directly for her also. It was either to hold out her hands and block Van and get drenched or let Van smash into her while she attempted to catch the dangerously fragile glass. But Hitomi's coordination failed her at that exact moment as Van collapsed on top of her and all the water the glass contained soaked the both of them. Luckily for Hitomi though, the glass missed her by inches and was shattered on the beige floor.

Panic gripped Van's heart as he grew fearful of what Hitomi might do. He froze on top of her, too scared and too paranoid to move. This was only another reason for her to hate him. She would surely slap him or shove him as far away from her as she could. What little respect she might have for him would be gone. Hitomi Kanzaki would hate Van Fanel forever.

But the honey haired girl did the thing that Van least expected.

She laughed.

Her voice was like an angels, as her laughter seemed almost like a soothing song. He could feel her stomach pitch with each sharp intake of breath that she took while her face reddened and she kept laughing. After what seemed like forever, Hitomi finally had control over what she could do and say.

She blushed only more when she looked down at Van's confused face. But the look on his face was too much for her to handle. He had such confusion and innocent embarrassment in his eyes that Hitomi could only laugh harder.

"I don't see what's so funny." Van grumbled when he finally regained his composure, after the shock wore off. He pushed himself up off her while he tried to straighten his now soaked shirt. Hitomi blushed as she realized that she could see the outline of his muscles for his shirt was stuck to him. Luckily, she had the bed sheets to cover herself with.

An image of Van's confused face appeared in Hitomi's mind while she yelled out in answer to his question, "YOU!!!" And once again, laughter claimed the poor girl who could only gasp for air. Her past troubles where currently forgotten for the moment.

After forgetting his initial shock and chagrin, Van watched Hitomi laugh. She looked so...happy. Watching her body trembling with joy as she chuckled, Van could only join her. At first it was only a few muffled giggles but soon it turned into full-blown laughter.

Outside in the hallway, Merle had one ear pressed up against the door while she balanced a tray full of food in her hand. She sniggered silently to herself before she leaned down, placing the tray gently on the floor next to the door. Still smiling to herself, she turned and quietly crept back down the hallway. If one were gifted with the hearing of a cat, they would have heard her mutter under her breath, "I guess a whack on the head does solve relationship problems..."

~*~

Lauren: I broke a glass! And I didn't even mean to continue the trend! The horror! =) OK, this is Van and Hitomi's relationship before the story. Like a clock, running smoothing and working perfectly, all gears in place. Then I come along with a bunch of wrenches. And throw them into the gears. Mwuahahahaha! Ok, enough with freaking out my readers. Thanks for reviewing, I'm glad you all like my weird story idea! I've finished my Saint Tail story so I can now fully devote myself to this one! *cheers* Please review! Thank you!