We're back by popular demand (cough), yes, that's right, its US! Dun dun DUN! We hit a creative spout (i.e. we went to the store and played on carts) and got many ideas. Anne's typos are hilarious; Numair couldn't stop laughing for five minutes. -_-; We dedicate this one to the person who wrote a review to us. Thanks!
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Chapter 5 – Fluff and Flowers
Mary Sue sighed contently, her big boobs jigglying merrily in a current of wind, laying back against her pillow. The bedposts,, lavishing a deep magenta curtain, rose over ten feet. A cheery fireplace burned with an image of a gypsy, but that's a differenty story altogether. A plush carpet of pink tickled her toes. Basically, the room looked like like a four year old feminist Barbie obsessed's paradise. Something we obviously wouldn't know about.
"There you are," Allen smiled, "all snuggly-wuggly—"
[Numair: ANNE! (smack!)]
"There," corrected Allen, "Are you all snuggly-wug—"
SMACK! Outta the way! Ahem…
"There," grumbled Allen, a little dizzy, "are you comfortable?"
Brave Mary Sue looked at the ceiling, pretending to be disinterested. "Oh, no, I'm fine," she assured, her perfect teeth chattering.
"GASP! No you're not, my angel of the night sky! You're a little cold, my love!" gushed Allen, reaching down and huggin the living daylights of Mary Sue. However, since she is strong, she wasn't even ruffled.
"Oh no, don't bother yourself," Mary Sue said, turning away, wrapping her puffy Eskimo jacket around her volumtious form.
"I'm not leaving until you tell me," chuckled Allen, patting her on the head.
"Well, I'm slightly cold," pouted (SMACK) whimpered (BANG) whispered Mary Sue, touching her head injury slightly.
"My poor baby!" pouted Allen…
[Numair: I'm tiring of you Annie, out of my way.
Anne: I will spread the truth! Let it be known! ( babbles like idiot)]
"Hold on!" he cried, shaking her as a spotlight appeared on him, "I'll go get you something, my angel of the night sky." And with that, the Knight Caeli swiftly uh…left.
"Van!" Allen shouted, kicking the boy king in the ribs.
"What…is…IT!?" Van snarled from his blanket in the corner, on the floor.
"I need your blanket."
"Fuck off! This is all I got!" the young monarch snapped.
"Mary Sue is cold." Explained Allen patiently, forgiving Van who did not understand the gravity of the situation.
Van hesitated, then sighed heavily. "Fine, for Mary Sue." He smiled weakly, handing his only blanket over.
Allen took it and smiled in thanks. "She needs your shirt too."
"What!?"
"The authors demand it."
[Both: Ehehheeeeheeeheeeeee (claps hands)]
Van muttered a few colorful adjectives and handed it over. "You guys are hentais."
[Anne: AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Numair: You like that Annie? Especially since there is no plural like that in Japanese?
Anne: AAAAARRRRRRR! (strangles Numair)]
"Fine then," Van muttered, shivering and shirtless in the corner, "I'll just sit here and DIE of hypothermia."
"You do that," Allen replied, ignoring him completely as he walked away and thoughts of Mary Sue danced around in his perverte—(smack!) his head. "Have fun Van!"
Van sat there shivering and began to cough and wheeze.
"Mary Sue~~! My angel of the night sky!" shouted Allen, waking up half the castle in the process. "I've found you a blankie, and this nice vest!"
"Isn't that Van's?"
"….No….. it only looks like Van's…."
"Thank you Allen!" smiled Mary Sue, giving one of her blindly brilliant smiles. "Goondnight then!"
"Nighty Night!" cooed Allen.
[Numair: This is so OOC its not even funny…
Anne: Shows his limited intelligence, THAT's how it's in character!]
Allen left the room patting himself on the back. He had finally found his soulmate, someone who he would never let go of. All the people that he ever cared about always seemed to die…. However, that was nothing compared to the pain Mary Sue was suffering! [Mary Sue Rule #2: No one suffers more then the Mary Sue, NO ONE] He would have to find a way to comfort her.
Meanwhile, Mary Sue slowly climbed into bed. Removing her clothes, cause for some unknown reason Mary Sue's always sleep in the nude, she climbed under the pink ruffly covers.
"Goodnight sky! Goodnight moon!" smiled Mary Sue, her emerald eyes growing weary from all the activities of the day.
~~~ Mary Sue Dream Sequence~~~
[Both: (run away screaming, nothing is typed for the next twenty minutes)]
"Mary Sue~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!"
Mary Sue turned around to find her best friend, Veronica Jones, from Osaka, stood waiting for her outside the classroom.
"Hurry up ya'll, we're goin' to be late for class!" huffed Veronica Jones from Osaka, carrying Mary Sue and her bags towards their second period class.
"Just a minute, I think I was having a VISION," stated Mary Sue, getting up from sleeping on the floor.
"So, how was track practice yesterday? I mean, I hiear that Joey Riverwater wants to kiss you!" squealed Veronica Jones from Osaka, latching herself onto Mary Sue's left arm.
"Oh no, don't say that!" blushed Mary Sue, with the constant thought of her horrible tragic life-altering past in mind.
"Let's go have some cake at that new store!" suggested Veronica Jones from Osaka, bending down and tieing her shoes.
"Okay!" laughed Mary Sue, grabbing her friends arm as the two skipped away towards the sunset with freaky Disney animals and flowers smiling on, past the teacher.
"Where are those two going…?" questioned the teacher, obviously confused and not understanding Mary Sue makes the school system.
***********
"Wow, this apple pie sure tastes danky, ya know!" cried Veronica Jones from Osaka, eating her tenth piece of pie.
"I know, it's simply divine," giggled Mary Sue, spinning her fork around lazily.
"It's nothing compared to your apple pie though, ya know!" gushed Veronica Jones from Osaka, a piece of apple danglying from between her teeth.
"Well, look you we've got 'er."
Both girls turned around to the voice they obviously didn't recognize for some unknown reason. It was Joey Riverwater from Hokkaido [where in Hokkaido? No one knows anything about it, so it doesn't matter!!], his lush blond locks falling gently over his blue crystal clear eyes.
"Oh Joey! What a ca-winky-dink!" girl-giggled Veronica Jones from Osaka.
[Numair: Come on, are we this narrow minded?!
Anne: Yup.]
"So, heh, Mary Sue, how's that… uh… homework goin'?" babbled Joey Riverwater, staring at Mary Sue's boobs.
"Wow, these are the best of times, the worse of times."
With that Mary Sue was transported (or something…) to a dream of her house….
"Mommy-kins, I'm home!" laughed Mary Sue throwing her bag down and running to the kitchen, "Where are the crumpets?"
[Numair: … she's British now?
Anne: Just wait, there is more good stuff coming.]
"Oh, there you are Mary Sue-chan, Ut'na," smiled Mommy-kins, grabbing the coffee from the table.
"Mom, today at school I god'n A!" smiled Mary Sue, producing a paper from her bag.
[Numair: What the heck is this?
Anne: Our dialect.
Numair: We have an accent?
Anne: Yes, say 'Utena'
Numair: Ut'na.
Anne: See, we drop sounds and pick up other people's accents.]
"Oh, there are you Mary Sue! I didn't hear you come in, ha ha ha ha ha!" chuckled her Father, a man who stood tall with handsome feaaturs with slightly graying hair.
"Oh Mary Sue, you look swell!" laughed her kid brother, Richy, who had appeared in the room carrying a model airplane, "Isn't this plane swell! Dad's helpin' me make it! Ha ha ha ha!"
"Family, it's time for dinner!" smiled the mother walking into the familyroom with her big hair and apron.
"Mommy, there's a rocket lauch on the tevelision tonight, can we watch it with our new color tv? I just godda see it!" asked little Ricky, his little sweater vest standing out sharply.
"That sounds danky, son! Ha ha ha ha ha!" laughed Mr. Silverboots.
"Ha ha ha ha ha!" laughed the family, sitting down, Mary Sue smoothing out her poodle skirt.
[Numair: What the heck?
Anne: eheehee, we got in the mood when looking at my Mommy's yearbook!]
Since the authors fear loosing their dinners, they decide to move along with dream….
As Mary Sue ate her TV dinner while watching the rocket launch, her family close by and smiling with apricot delight.
"Houston, we've got lift off," came central command… dudes..
"Wow, this sure is swell, ha ha ha ha ha!" laughed little Richy, her combed hair glistening in the moonlight.
"Sure is danky son, ha ha ha ha ha!" laughed Mr. Silverboots.
Mary Sue turned and smiled lovingly, a perfect normal life. Suddenly, a SCREAM filled the air. Turning away from looking at herself in the mirror, she found her family melted in a hopeless puddle of goo. The house was erupted in flames about her.
"NOOOOOOOOooooooooooo!" proclaimed Mary Sue, with dramatic music appearing as she ran down the beach in a a Baywatch fashion. Her boobs danced up and down with delight.
"There you are, ahahahahaha!"
Turning around, Mary Sue found an albaino youth standing at the other end of the movie theater.
"Dilandau, I bet," she said, turning moving her shoulders around seductively.
"Ya bet your brithes, bitch," cackled the albanio, pulling out a set of knives.
"I'm not afraid of you, Dilandau!" cried brave Mary Sue, courage radiateing from her lithe form.
"Well, you're dumb," replied Dilandau, stabbing with a sword and hacking her into little itty bitty Mary Sue pieces. He then proceeded to gather them up, the sorcerers would enjoy dinner tonight.
[Both: Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
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"NOOOOOOoooooO!" screamed our brave Mary Sue, lertching forward in a cold sweat. That dream, again, of Dilandau. Could it be telling her something?
She often dreamed of Dilandau, they had a lot in common…
[Numair: Like what?]
They're both he-shes? Shut up Numair! Look what you made me write! Ahem… His wild nature, and blah blah blah! And… um… blah blah blah. (Numair: Let me type…). Noooo. (Numair: (takes keyboard away)).
But it was just a dream, nothing more. Or was it?
Was it a dream? Or maybe a vision? Or maybe a ripoff of the series? No, it was real.
"HELL YEAH!!!"
Two white hands shot out of the darkness and grabbed her slim neck, squeezing…
[Both: Crush her throat! Crush her throat!]
The insane Albino had come to life! Tears welled up in her sapphire eyes, no, it couldn't end like this! She couldn't leave everyone alone! But then, would anyone miss her? Allen, Van, the completely forgotten Hitomi, and little Chidy Temple (coming soon!), would they miss her? No, they didn't need her, especially one so filthy, with her horrible tragic life-altering past!
Her vision darkened as the oxygen level in her brain ran dead and she lost all brain power…we shouldn't right that, should we? No? Okay, fine…Her throat, crushed under the awesome power wich is Dilandau.
"Sayanara, Bitch!"
[Both: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGGGHHHH!!!!!! SPELLING!!!!!!]
"No…" garbled Mary Sue, "I know there's good in you yet, I felt it…"
Dilandau grinned insanely, but then, her beauty, her aura…
[Both: NO DILANDAU!! RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!!!!!!]
And yet, there was a glimmer of…
[Both: NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!]
{To be continued}
"See ya next time!" waved little Chidy, winking at the camera.
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We feel dirty… we had the parents laugh so much… Anne was highly amused when Numair laughed (he does this funny thing with his jaw). Our friend commented you can't catch half the humor we do the first time you read it… just notice the changes, trust us.
Stay tuned for the next action packed chapter, "Broken Promises"
Numair: ha ha ha ha ha ha!
