Numair is currently bitching about Mary Sue's conveniently ( BITE ME!! (Numair: Spell check)) forgetting this is one. (Numair: Yes, but this is a parody, so it's okay). Sure Numair… keep dreaming big.

Disclaimer: SPELL THIS!!!! *flips-off computer*

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Chapter 7: Vengeance

"Duh, Chid, how do you spell 'the'?" asked the brilliant Knight Allen.

"How do you think it is spelled?" sighed the wonderful Chid, annoyed with Allen and his spelling questions. It had been like this all day, Allen was writing a love letter to his beloved Mary Sue, and was having some difficult times.

"Um…. 't-h-a'?" chuckled the Knight, obviously impressed with his own intelligence.

"Erm… sure, whatever you want…"

[Numair: ANNIE! There is no purpose to that scene!!!!!

Anne: Spell check sucks. It proves how stupid Allen is….]

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!" screeched Merle, bolting into the room, tears falling out of her eyes like a broken faucet. "AAAAAHHH!!!! VAN-SAMA'S DEAD!"

[Both: WHAT?!]

Allen froze as he remembered taking Van's blanket and leaving him to freeze. He played dumb (which was not hard.)

"Why are you looking at me? It was the author's idea," laughed Allen uneasily, looking at the audience for support.

"What?" screamed Anne, insulted. "It was your own stupid fault!"

"You told me too!!" creid Allen, tears of frusteration flowing down his… face.

"I did not."

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!!!!!!!!!!"

"You suck."

"VAN-SAMA'S DEAD!!!" Merle screamed, breaking up the fight between the author and Allen. Allen could no longer contain himself, this was too perfect. A smile slowly spread across his face when suddenly…

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Van died! The authors let Van die!" shrieked Allen, falling to the ground while grabbing his sides, trying to keep his ribs from breaking from the laugher.

"That's it!" cried Numair, appearing suddenly.

BOOM!

Allen pieces flew everywhere.

[Anne: HAHAHAHA…! I mean, NUMAIR! Look what you did!]

"I'm sorry! I got mad!" Numair wailed pitifully, wiping Allen guts away.

[Anne: (bangs head on desk) Ow…Now we have to put him back together!]

"Says who?"

"Our conscience, that damned thing…" Anne muttered, kicking Numair.

"Bitch."

"Ano…sumimasen…" Merle piped.

"Low key Japanese!" Anne cried, pointing accusingly to the distraught cat-girl.

"Annie, we don't have time for this!" Numair snapped, pulling Anne back from murdering the poor real character.

"Fine then," Anne said, "You put the pansy back together and I'll go resurrect Van."

"How come you get to resurrect Van and I godda put Blondie back together?"

"Because I didn't blow him up!" screamed Anne.

"Point taken…" Numair sighed and pulled out a mop. Scrubbing the floor, Numair yelped and jumped back. "Ah! I saw his pubic bone!"

Anne rolled her eyes. " Go get Mary Sue and her 'Elven Powers' to put him back together."

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! I already had to write it! Don't make me see it!"

"Haha!"

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"Mary Sue…? Poor child who-got-his-soul-taken-by-hussy-Mary-Sue Dilandau?" Numair whimpered, tapping on their door hesitantly.

Nothing~~~~~~~~

"I Don' wanna go in there…" wailed Numair flailing Numair's arms about in a Numair-fashion. "Annie's gonna wrid'it and make it really bad…!"

[Anne: Who says I'm writing any of this crap?]

"Thanks, you're a true pal…" muttered Numair bitterly. Numair gulped and decided that the best course of action would be to open the door. Happily, Numair had not eaten lunch yet.

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"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Anne looked up and smiled, "I think Numair found Mary Sue."

The other characters looked blankly at Anne who had appeared in their story without any mention in the plot, however, they realized, it was a Mary Sue fic.

Numair came bolting into the room and opened the silverware drawer.

"What are you doing?" asked Anne flatly as Numair held forth a fork, aiming for the eye.

"SCARRED!!!! MUST…. POKE… OUT… EYES!!!!" Numair shrieked, trying to hold back it's arm.

"NO!" Anne said firmly, grabbing Numair's arm and taking the fork away. "It can't be that bad!"

"Go look yourself!" sniffed Numair who then fell to the ground and muttered strange words incoherently.

Meanwhile, the other characters simply sat there. Why, cause they have no purpose at the moment.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"

Anne came running into the room, running into the doorframe in the process, holding back the bile rising in her throat.

"WHY DID YOU MAKE ME SEE THAT!?!?! MUST TAKE OUT EYES!" shrieked Anne, grabbing the fork which Numair had previously tried to take its eyes out with. Numair sat on the ground, still muttering.

POOF

The authors got themselves out of the story since they have the power to do so. Ha. Nothing is typed for the next thirty minutes since the authors are busy vomiting and calling a shrink for help.

Hghghghgh banana cream pudding! Van knows! The purple elephant loves the goat-cheese is good. Smelly fun!

"The moon skills not my fun!" reaped the funny elf.

"Elf Cat is declared illegal! Book knows! You are okay! " purple haired stork says with tear drops of candy.

Van knows! VaN or VAN! The vv Van knows! Van knows! Van knows! Van knows! Van knows! The van takes up space! GET iT OuT! TrailOr trash pimP mobile! I smell PRETTY!!!!!!!!

Umm… apparently Numair is still suffering from the effects of that.. .don't worry, I knocked Numair out. Let's try this again….

"This feeling of love is so… so… happy," smiled Allen with his arrangement of flowers, all of them pretty and pink. They reminded him of his love, Mary Sue. He had not seen Mary Sue all day, and it was almost noon. Perhaps he should go visit her in her room….

[Both: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!]

or maybe not. Mary Sue came walking around the corner holding hands with Dilandau.

"What is that thing doing here!?" gasped Allen, running forth and drawing his sword to protect Mary Sue.

"Allen! Don't!" cried Mary Sue, putting herself between her two loves. "Dilandau was being used by Zaibach! He is a truly nice person once you get to know him."

"Ugggh…." Groaned Van, walking into the room grabbing his head. "Last time I let the authors mess with me…"

What? It was all Allen…

"AHHH!! What is HE doing here!?" screamed Van, running behind Allen, using him as a shield. "What happened to Celena?"

"Oh, well, Zaibach separated us so now we are two different people completely. I am my own person now, although in my heart I feel as though I have lost something," frowned Dilandau, wiping the tears away from his cheeks.

"Hey! Then where the hell is my sister!?" pouted Allen, pointing his sword at Dilandau once more.

"I don't know. Around?" Dilandau shrugged, grabbing Mary Sue's hand once more.

"Allen, Van, I want you to be nice to Dilandau, he was being used."

"Yes, I have chosen to fight on your side to seek my revenge against Zaibach," sniffed Dilandau, looking at the ground in rembarence of all those horrible deeds which he had committed. Would his soul ever be free and… unhaunted again?

"Seemed pretty happy to destroy the world before to me…" Van muttered to himself.

"Now Van, Dilandau wants to help us…"

"He's a monster!" declared Millerna.

"I agree." Stated her husband, Dryden, since he's such a cool guy we decided to give Millerna to him 'cause he really does love her… and he didn't have a child with her sister…

"Dilandau is the reincarnation of SATAN!!!!" Van shouted, wings flapping furiously

"That's harsh." Dilandau pouted.

"Minna, I believe in Dilandau! Why can't you all trust me!?"

"We do trust you Mary Sue, my angel of the night sky, it's just that…Dilandau kinda stabbed me with his liquid claw; burned down my fort…"

"Destoryed Fanelia; tried to kill me on numerous occasions; tried to kill Hitomi…"

PING

"Where is Hitomi?" muttered Van, looking around.

"He pulled on my tail, set my hair on fire, set my homeland on fire, burned my dinner…" Merle sniffed.

"He burned my books, destroyed my convoy, ate my mermaid.."

"He ran over us with his lawn mower," Guard E and F said flatly (hehee, get it?).

"He killed me with his liquid claw, made fun of my whole race, made fun of my body odor…" cried Zongi.

"He smacked us around the whole series," wailed the Dragonslayers.

"He made fun of me because I'm old," sniffed Dornkirk.

"He bugged the hell out of me, and burned my homeland to the ground," grumbled Folken.

"Puu puu puu puu PUU!!" said Mokona.

"He attacked my country, used my make-up, and RAPED ME!" wailed Millerna, her knees giving out making her fall to the ground with a thud.

"WHAT?!" cried Dilandau, taken aback.

"Read fic number 137ABC9.2," Millerna stated proudly.

"Oh…That…That was an AU!"

"Same thing." She pouted.

"He didn't mean any of it! It was all Zaiboch's doing!" declared Mary Sue, standing in front of Dilandau, protecting him.

The others were stunned. How could Mary Sue be defending him so? Was he truly changed? Or was Mary Sue on crack again?

[Numair: (smack!) ANNIE! Look what you made me write!

Anne: It's true… (grumble)]

Van glared his "Van-king-of-kickass-Fanelia" look. "I'm still not convinced…"

SMACK!

"I mean…" Van started flatly, rolling his eyes, "Well Mary Sue, I don't know why, but if you truly believe him, I guess I do to. But it's only for you, remember that."

Dilandau stepped forward, extending his hand.

"Oh Van, for the sake of Mary Sue, let's be friends."

[Both: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!! ]

Van hesitated, then, took Dilandau's hand. "I still want to kill you though."

"Me too Van, me too." Dilandau smiled demonically, tightening his grip. The two continued their stare-down, their hands turning blue.

Mary Sue sighed, "Boys will be Boys," she laughed.

Everyone laughed big hearty laughs in the setting sun.

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"How are my plans going?" asked the mysteriously evil voice from atop his throne which looked into a blue crystal ball of doom.

"They are going as expected, Emperor Bornkirk," stated Guard H, bowing down before the mighty Bornkirk.

"I have sensed a wave of something new and threatening in my Plot Altering Device," coughed Bornkirk, his beard handing down to almost the floor.

"Well, you see, there was a pillar of light the other day.." started Guard I hesitantly, fearing his masters wrath.

"WHAT!? Why did you not inform me of this earlier!" screamed Bornkirk, reaching his bony hand out in a menaching fashion.

"We beg for forgiveness!!!" wailed Guard I, groveling.

"Your work is getting sloppier and sloppier, I have no further need of you!" shouted Bornkirk who then pressed a button by his seat. The floor opened up and Guard I shot through, taking Guard H with him.

"I sense that the fate of Gaea is resting on the unknown source of the pillar. I must find it and make sure that it doesn't effect my plans," wheased Bornkirk, his frail form racked with coughs. "Just you wait you good guys you, I will have my revenge!!!!"

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WOW! We actually introduced the enemy! Aren't you impressed with the name? It gets better, trust us! Wbahahbahajahaha!

Oh yes, we had been waiting to do that Van-Dilandau friendship (for the sake of Mary Sue) thing since the start *falls over laughing once more* So stupid!!!

Stay Tuned for the next ACTION PACKED chapter of Mary Sue: Peace and RestLessneSs