Recap: Our brave hero Mary Sue had been kidnapped by the dreaded creature the Ferrboozard! Will Mary Sue survive in the Zaibach empire REBORN?! What exactly is Bornkirk's evil plan with the plot altering device!? Find out by READING!

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Our voluptuous beauteous all-around-nice cunning heroine slowly blinked her copper eyes open to find herself in a dreary utterly horrid no good very bad cell. Clenching her fist in deteremination, scanning the cell to take in her surroundings, she formulated a plan of escape.

"Oh no, Dilandau and Allen will be so worried me," Mary Sue said in concern, however deteramination still shone bright in her eyes. "I must figure out what the rebirth of Zaibach is planning."

"I see you are awaken," said a very Disney's Stitch like voice from the shadowed corner. A small gasp of surprise escaped our brave Mary Sue's lips as she glanced into the corner.

"Ah, it's, the legendary Ferrboozard (part ferret, part frill-necked lizard, part blue footed booby)," excaliemd our brilliantly intelligent Mary Sue.

"Yes," croaked the voice as the creature reached out a fuzzy paw to help himself up.

"Oh," Mary Sue replied simply as the ferrboozard waddled over. "Why did you kidnap me?" she inquired, magically dressed in a tunic with breeches by her will alone.

"I did not want to kidnap you," sighed/squeaked the ferrboozard, bursting into acid tears. "Boo hoo!"

"There there," comforted Mary Sue, patting the creature on the shoulder sympathetically. "But then why do it?"

"Bornkirk!" wailed the ferrboozard, attempting to wipe his face with its fuzzy paws however could not reach. Mary Sue reached into her bra and pulled out a tissue and dabbed away the creature's tears away from his face gently. (AN: Burning her hands, hahahaha).

"What's your name, O Legendary Ferrboozard?" Mary Sue asked softly…

[Numair: This is so stupid….

Anne: Shh, this is taking a lot of effort to make it this dumb!]

"My name is… is… Killer," sighed the mighty ferrboozard, looking up at Mary Sue fondly, his long horn glowed brighting in the darkness by some unknown light source.

"Tell me dear Killer, why do you have such a beautiful unicorn horn on your head?" asked Mary Sue, sitting down beside the fire. Killer looked down uncertainly until Mary Sue patted the ground beside her, offering the space ever-so-graciously to the creature.

"Because," started Killer hesitantly, sitting down besides our beautiful main character. "My people are special."

[Anne: And that was the final touch…
Numair: To the masterpiece known as Ferrboozard.]

"Long ago," started Killer as the background faded to show the past, "in Atlantis, my people foresaw the danger the Will-Device-Thingy (it's PROPER name). We tried to warn the Atlanteans, but we were simple slaves, oppressed for who we werer. They did not listen. Long before the Atlanteans, my people lived in Drazoobrref, the capitol of Atlantis, in peace as scholars, political figures, teachers, magicians, lawyers and computer specialists.

"However, the Atlanteans came and despite our networking capabilities we could not stand against their Will-Device-Thingy. We became their SLAVES!"

"How horrible!" gushed Mary Sue, tears of sympathy rolling down her cheeks, for Mary Sue also knew the pain of oppression and slavery.

"But despite all that, when the Thingy blew and Atlantis was destroyed, we carried the draconians to America, the land of the Free. However, when World War II began soon after the destruction of Atlantis…"

[Anne: Time Burp!]

"…my people were used as bombers and spies. You heard of Kamikaze? US!!!!!" wailed Killer.

"But what happened to all the Draconians you rescued? I thought they went to Gaea."

"Some did," Killer replied dismissingly, "but most went to America. There, they undoubtedly bred with the humans, leaving a score of winged children. However!" Killer proclaimed, raising his fuzzy paw, "All were killed by disease, famine, weak genetic structure and disco, all except one.

"You, Mary Sue."

[Both: (fall to ground laughing, gasping for breath)]

"How can that be?!" Mary Sue cried.

[Anne: By the sheer will of a Mary Sue fic, that's how]

"Long ago," started Killer as the background faded to show the past once again, "in Atlantis, my people foresaw the danger the Will-Device-Thingy……"

"I get it!" she snapped. Killer lowered his head in shame. "I am sorry Killer," Mary Sue sighed, patting its fuzzy head, "I'm just very frightened. We've got to get out of this tunnel!"

The anciebt Ferrboozard was slightly startled to find they were truly in a long tunnel. Apparently he was not used to the scene jumps as Mary Sue was. "But Mary Sue, I'm scared of what Bornkirk will do to me."

"Don't worry dear Killer," Mary Sue assured as they walked down the tunnel in Wizard of Oz fashion, "I'll always be with you."

"My fears have been chased away! Thank you Mary Sue."

The brave trio crept along the vent on their hands and knees, watching weasrly for any signs of the Bad Guys.

Mary Sue reached into her blouse and pulled out her magical necklace, which looked exactly like Hitomi's but was blue, thus very different.

"The necklace!" Killer exclaimed.

"I got it from my grandfather. Why?"

"Was he a tall, handsome man with wings?"

"Why yes, why do you ask?" Mary Sue asked, batting her long, beautiful eyelashes.

"He was the great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandson of Eirav, the great emperor of the Draconians!"

[Anne: "Timeline" is not a word in Mary Sue's vocabulary.]

"But Hitomi's pendant…!" began Mary Sue.

"That was on the East side of Atlantis. You see, they didn't really create Gaea, they made that dead rock moon. Your pendant, Mary Sue, is the true power behind the Atlanteans! The West side pendant, Tnadnep!"

[Both: Doesn't that contradict everything in the series so perfectly…]

Yum! Mary Sue stared in amazement at her pendant, and then put it back. Thinking quickly, she pulled out her map she had drawn up on her last escape from Zaibach.

"According to this, we go left." Stated Mary Sue.

Continueing straight ahead, the two hurried down the streets. Suddenly, out of the shadows, leapt two cat-women, attacking Killer and pinning him to the ground.

"What are you doing, Ferrboozard scum!?" Baria hissed in clichéd villain fashion.

"Helping the prisoner escape," Beria smirked.

"Killer!" Mary Sue cried, whirling about, drawing her magical sword and swinging it around warningly.

"Run Mary Sue! Forget about me!" Killer shouted.

"How could I ever forget my wonderful friend!" shouted Mary Sue, tears flowing from her crystal red eyes.

"Mary Sue, you are truly a model person," stated Killer, the attack forgotten. The enemies nodded in agreement, slowly getting sucked into Mary Sue's evil influence…

[Numair: ANNE!
Anne: What? It's true….]

Too late! Baria and Beria leapt upon Marie Sue, tearing her to pieces! BWAHAHAHA—er… (sigh) For some unknown reason, by the sheer power of Mary Sue's will we assume, she managed to talk the two evil-only-because-they-love-their-evil-master-who-shall-remain-anonymous-for-show wombat girls decided to be good little nekos…

[Anne: AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUHHHHHHGG!!!!]

…and show the two warriors of justice the way "out." Wink wink nudge nudge.

"Baria, Beria, why are we retracing out steps?" inquired Killer, slightly concerned about the suddenly goodness of the evildoers.

"This is the short cut," Baria lied.

Mary Sue was not fooled! She knew it all along! It was a trap, however, perhaps they would lead her to the emperor so she could have a final showdown and end this fic…

But we're not that lucky.

The quartet slowly entered a drabby, dark, dank, deadly, down-right dooms-day-ish laboratory. Desks stood in neat rows, their pastel blue tops shining in the faint sunshine that shown through the big windows. Outside, trees and green grass flowed gently in the breeze. But that is outside, this is inside. Labs were in the back, their black surfaces glinting evilly in the neon lights. The faint stench of frog guts hung heavy in the air.

"You shall wait here for our master-who-shall-remain-anonymous-for-show to…show. Ha…hahahaha!" giggled the two kat-girls as they frolicked to their scratching post and began to mew happily.

"Come on Killer!" cried Mary Sue, brandishing her katana, because she is a ninja. "While they're distracted, let's run for it!"

"Um…" began the confused beastie, "didn't we come here by choice?"

"No Killer," Mary Sue rolled her eyes in exasperation, obviously beginning to get fed up with the ignorant Ferrboozard. "We were brought by force. Remember, knives, guns, nukes…?"

Killer trtied to reach his head with his paw and sighed. Perhaps he was just getting two old to remember such importsant details. With a shrug, he followed Mary Sue, until…!

Syke!

The authors, obviously amused with themselves, giggled and continued.

"I've been waiting for you…Mary Sue."

"Who's there!" Mary Sue cried, her armor creaking as she whirl around. Of course, we all know, she knows who it is but for you readers (rolls eyes) she's going to pretend she doesn't know, though she does know, so you will know. Har.

From the shadows emerged a tall shadow, towering almost as tall as Mary Sue's towering height.

[Numair: Mary Sue rule #13—Mary Sue shalt outdoeth all people in all things within possible creationeth.]

A metallic arm arm reached out, shining in the faint lamplight of evil. The dark outline of feathery wings could be seen, stretching above his head in unholy glory. Can you say……..melodramatic?

"It can't be…!"

"It is," the shadow replied in a deep baritone.

A sudden light burst forth from behind him—

[Anne: Budweiser sign.]

--illuminating the room and blinding all. Except Mary Sue, of course. She gazed at the figure with uh…dislike and utte knowing. Uber-shot!

"Folken," hissed Mary Sue, her ruby eyes narrowing further until they were burning ember slits within her perfect flesh.

"Noooo!" the figure stamped his foot as the lights came on. Mary Sue blinked.

"No no no!" he cried in a hissy-fit, his voice whining and high-pitched, "It was always Folken, never Bolken! All dad wou;d ever talk about was Folken Folken Folken Van and our numerous long-lost sisters! Never Me! Never Bolken!"

Mary Sue could only stare, completely surprised, stumped, and down-right bewildered.

[Both: WE DID IT! (high fives)]

But she quickly regained her composure. "Who the hell are you!?"

"See!" wailed the guy she…assumed was Bolken. "No one ever knew about me! About poor forgotten Bolken! Boo hoo!"

"………" said Mary Sue.

"I'm the older twin and yet no one ever thinks about me. Didn't you know, yes, two of us, one plus one, TWINS! But no!" the figure wailed, stomping his foot once more. "Folken Folken Folken! I'm the eleder! I should be king!"

"Isn't Van king?" Killer whispered to Mary Sue.

"NO! ME!" pissed and moaned the figure. Finally, the authors got sick of his complaining and forced him into the light…

Killer could see why everyone forgot (or tried to) about Bolken. The man was a freak. And, being this is Gaea, and not earth, there had yet been equality among the love life…

[Both: No insults intended… remember, Killer is a simple creature…]

He was certainly Folken's twin. The same face, the same body, the same lanky sexy hot form. However, where Folken made it dashing and broody, Bolken mangaled it into this twisted funny to look at form.

Hot pink magenta wings sprouted forth from his back, moulting like his brothers. His hair was a ripe shade of strawberry, with banana streaks in random spots. The man was quite fruity. His arms were no more. Instead, two gold mechnical arms were attached to his body. On his face, a intricate Celtic knot was tattooed on his cheek in green. His pants were orange with Hawaiian flower print. His cape with pastel purple with hot yellow stripes.

"The man's gay…" whispered the simple minded Killer.

"Killer," Marry Sue exclaimed. "time out for you! That was a mean thing to say now! Go sit in the corner!"

Killer sniffed and waddled off.

Mary Doo focused her eyes with the yellow eyes of Bolken.

They looked at each other.

It was very interesting.

"I've had a hard life," Bolken finally wept, flailing his arms about dramatically.

"You're a sorceror then?" Mary Sue said flatly, disliking Bolken.

"No, a magician," sighed Bolken rolling his yellow eyes. "Gosh!"

It all comes to a stop. There is really no more point to this scene…. Oh yeah!

"I was the forgotten twin," Bolken began, wiping away a tear from his pale cheek. "Many years ago I went to slay a dragon to prove I could go to the distance. (hehe, rip off) However, when I sliced through the dragons head it bit off BOTH my arms AT ONCE!"

"HERM!" Mary Said cleared her throat, her eyes narrowed once more. "That's fine and dandy but I am sure my horrible tragic life-altering past is much worse."

"I'm sorry, I forgot," Bolken rolled his eyes. Yes, Bolken, sent by us (obviously), doesn't like Mary Sue either.

Okay, now for the plot movement….

The group, minus Bolken and the platapus sisters since we want to use them later (let's hope not), made their way towards a large throne encased in DARKNESS!

"Ahh, I sense much fear in you, young Mary Sue…" a voice wafted from atop the throne with was by the Plot-Altering Device, still for now. (DUN).

"Bornkirk!" hissed Mary Sue, sitting down on the coach.

"Killer, you fool, you led her right to me!" Bornkirk laughted evilly, drool running down his old-man chin.

Mary Sue's eyes widened as she turned to Killer. "Is that true?"

"No, I didn't! I swear upon my fuzzy paws!" squeaked Killer.

"I will now reveal my plan since all bad guys do that. However," he underscored. "Only to a certain point since I must save it until the last minute before you die so you can figure out how to stop me. Is that okay with you?"

"Yeah," grinned Mary Sue, too smart for him.

[Anne: We haven't insulted this in awhile…
Numair: One, it does itself; Two, it's just too easy]

"My donor, Dornkirk, had a mighty vision in which the destiny of mankind would be altered to make that perfect society. While his basic principles were important, I have discovered there is something much more important…"

"What is it?" Mary Sue asked for the sake of the readers.

"The Plot. Many stories lack it… most of all MaboroshiTsuki (Anne) and Ironi Numair… especially under this account…"

[Both: HEY!]

"Now, I have created this, masterpiece," Bornkirk said raising his eyebrows. "To alter the fate of this story… or, should I say more scienceticially, the Plot. My theory is once the machine is set into motion this horrible thing called 'Mary Sue Saves Gaea With Her Pinky' will actually experience what some call 'A Plot'."

"YOU MONSTER!" screamed Mary Sue, pulling out… something.

"AM I now!?" chuckled Bornkirk. "Back in my day evil was defined as people who had a bad purpose. When I was younger I had to walk ten miles to school in the snow, both ways, uphill, in ten feet of snow!"

"…"

"Killer," Bornkirk snarled, getting back on 'topic'. "I shall teach you what your disobiendence has caused…!"

With a widening of his pale eyes Bornkirk shot a lazy beam at Mary Sue who gasped and got hit, getting hurt. Poor baby.

"BORNKIRK!" sneezed/snarled/snotted Killer. "Watashi no atarashi shinyuu ni kizu wo shimashita. Sore wa… sore wa… zentai ni yuresanai! Inochi wo Mary Sue no tame ni…!"

[Anne: HAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Numair: Cute Annie.]

Unfurling his frilly neck and raising his fuzzy paws, he summoned the pure might and power of the Ferrboozard! Stamping his blue flappy feet, he pranced about in a circle, warbling and…warbling. Tracing intricate symbols into the sands, the symbols of the Ferrboozard gods began to shimmer and glow, and Killer, embowed with this holy power, eyes shining with LOVE for Mary Sue, warbled aloud and raised his head to Bornkirk and…

Hock—Ptooi!

The acid arced a good foot into the air and then trailed to the floor, burning a hole into the sands. Bornkirk, stifling a giggled, he pointed a middle finger at the pooped Ferrboozard. Killer smashed into the wall and exploded on impact. Thus was the end of the last might Ferrboozard.

[Numair: Damn, what a pity. (snicker)]

"NOOOOOOoooooooooOOOOOOOooooooOOOOOooooo!!" wailed Mary Sue, magically restored by her will (tricky thing, isn't it) in time to see Killer brains sliding off the wall. "How could you…! You.. you… you…. You… killed Killer!"

Bornkirk snickered, gaining a few bonus points with the authors.

Mary Sue closed her eyes, calling upon her decendants to give her the strength to awaken her holy angelic dragon power of the elves. Clenching her hands in prayer, Mary Sue's hair slowly turned silver. Opening her eyes, hard with anger and frusteration and … anger, her golden eyes stared coldly at Bornkirk.

"You'll pay for your sins…!" growled Mary Sue putting her fists together as energy formed in her hands. Once the ball of energy reached a basketball size she unleashed the rainbow colored power of the GODS and shot it at Bornkirk, knocking the old man from his throne.

"Hack!" Bornkirk exclaimed, dusting himself off looking at the limp form of Mary sue on the floor. Because of all the energy Mary Sue had used she had passed out, changing back to her normal not Sailor Mary Sue form.

Climbing back onto his throne Bornkrik smirked at the form of Mary Sue. "We could use her…" he mused, a wickedly evil grin cracking across his wrinkled face. "Bildandau, take her to the Bragonslayers abode…!"

BA-DAM!

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31/3/03: Yay! Another chapter of Mary Sue! We're sure that many of you were wondering what happened to the account you all loved to hate! :) Alas, we have been busy with our college and high school classes, and now the hell begins again. ("NOOOoooooOoooooOooo").
We figured that you might have a few question (if anyone reads this… or for that matter reviews it! Hint hint). Here we hope to answer a few of your non-asked questions…

What is with the chapter titles?:
We don't know… whatever doesn't match the chapter…
What is with all the 'B' names?
As Annie put it, "It's plan 'B'"
You guys are so stupid. What is the point of this?
You think this is bad, go read a real Mary Sue (NUMAIR!). I'm not kidding! This is our protest! (Anne punches Numair and starts writing). The point is to be funny and see if anyone catches all the mistakes we put in here on purpose. Also, if you guys don't get that then you obviously lack a sense of humor (two cynical girls here, hehe)
Learn how to spell morons!
I don't know about Annie but I can… (Anne points warning finger) I mean, we can and on our other fics and own do spell check however on this we just let it go and type fast with no purpose (also, making a point against those who don't check their spelling).
You guys are so mean with all your points!
Hey, we're 18 and 17 years old… it's our point in life.

Well, we had fun. :) Under the Mullet-Revolution bio there is a picture for our website link (at the moment) of what the mighty Ferrboozard looks like. Feel fear. (warbles) See you next chapter called, "The mighty stapler."

Disclaimer: We do not own Escaflowne or any of the various things we reference to. We have no money and probably no humor, although we find ourselves quite witty.