R for language.

Disclaimer: no one mentioned belongs to me, I guarantee it.

~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~ ~~~~~

Meanwhile, in Jersey...
"Fuck, man, this ain't no Quick Stop," Jay complained, leaning against the brick wall of the high school. Silent Bob nodded.

The bell rang, and kids started to pour out of the building.

"Yo, lemme get a nickel bag," a kid with a spiked collar said. Behind him were about twenty other kids fishing out wallets and whatnot.

Jay reached for his stash and grinned at Silent Bob. "Pays better, though."

~~~~~

Bethany found the fabled Quick Stop rather easily, and walked right in, hoping the employees were locals that knew where she could find Jay and Bob.

An annoying little bell went off when she came in. She scanned the place; two clerks were lounging behind the counter. Other than that, it appeared to be dead.

"Can I help you," the bearded clerk said in a monotone, not looking up from his newspaper. Behind him, a guy in a baseball cap was engrossed in a porn magazine.

"Um, yeah..." Bethany said. "I'm looking for two guys...you might know them?"

The bearded one looked up. "Who?"

"Their names are Jay and Silent Bob."

The guy in the baseball cap looked up from his magazine. "You're looking for those two chuckleheads?"

"Yeah."

"Why?" the bearded guy said incredulously.

"They're friends of mine."

"You're a friend of Jay and Silent Bob," the bearded guy said slowly.

Bethany was getting impatient. This was going in circles. "Yeah. Do you know where I can find them? They once mentioned something about a Quick Stop, that's why I'm here."

"They hang out here a lot," the one in the baseball cap said, putting down his magazine and leaning forward. "Out front. Idiot weed merchants."

"Hey, the fat one isn't *that* bad," the bearded guy said. He stuck out his hand, and Bethany shook it. "Dante Hicks. Lord and Master of Quick Stop. That idiot is Randal Graves. Why are you looking for those two? For the life of me, I'd try to stay away."

"We met about a year ago in Illinois, and I came with them to Jersey. I thought they might like to catch up, find out how my baby's doing."

"WHAT!" Randal shrieked in his weird nasally voice. "One of those duck fucks fathered your kid?"

"God no!" Bethany said.

"Then why the hell else would you be looking for them?"

"I *told* you, they're friends of mine," Bethany said, fixing Randal with an annoyed glare.

Dante rolled his eyes. "Don't mind him, he's just suffering from a severe lack of intelligence."

"I'll show you a lack of--" Randal said, getting up.

"Dude, would you shut the fuck up*?" Dante said over his shoulder. "Jesus."

"So, where would they be?"

"I'm not sure," Dante said. "Randal had a restraining order on them awhile ago, but that ended, I think."

"Restraining order?" Bethany asked.

"Yeah, we don't want those assholes scaring away the customers," Randal said. "We've got fucking old ladies coming in here." He paused. "And they were spreading rumors that Dante here and I were gay," he added, eyes flickering back to the porn mag once more.

"They said that *I* was the bitch," Dante whined.

"Excuse me?"

"The bitch and the butch of the relationship," Randal confirmed.

Bethany cocked her head to once side and studied the clerks. "Nah, you'd be the butch," she informed Dante.

"Thank you! I could kiss you!" Dante said.

"I wouldn't if I were you," Randal warned. "If you cheated on me, I'd dump your ass *so* fast..."

"I'm not even going to dignify that with a response," Dante said. He turned to Bethany. "If you're looking for them, I think their new hangout is at Hudson High School."

"Thanks, guys," Bethany said, and as she exited, she could still hear the two clerks bickering about their fictional intimate relationship.

~~~~~

Hudson was even easier to find than the Quick Stop. Although school had gotten out a half hour or so earlier, there were still a few kids lingering around. Bethany asked around, but no one seemed to have found Jay or Silent Bob.

"Christ," she moaned, throwing up her hands, "it's not that big of a place. Somebody must've seen those potheads..."

"Youse looking for Jay and Silent Bob?" a voice asked.

Bethany turned around, and saw a stoned high school kid leaning against a tree. "Yeah, I am. Do you know where they are?"

"Yeah, I heard something about them goin' to the Secret Stash," the kid drawled.

Bethany's brow furrowed. "The what? Is that some sort of smoking place?"

"Naw...Brodie's Secret Stash. It's this comic book store. Those guys know the dick who works there."

"Thanks a bunch," Bethany said.

"No prob," the kid answered. "Youse wants some weed?"

"Aren't Jay and Bob gonna be pissed you're moving in on their turf?" Bethany asked, gently declining the bag he offered to her.

"Those guys? *Fuck* those guys. They're fuckin' clown shoes."

"Yeah, I get that impression."