Disclaimer : I don't own CCS. CLAMP does.
A/N:
This Pre-view of the Chapter was finished as fast as I could for Sakura-chan's birthday. Happy Birthday Sakura-chan ! Remember this can change a bit depending upon how it goes.
So sorry every one. I've been very busy, and well getting to actually
sit down and write this is probably really hard. But yes I should get right
to this story, except that part of these two next chapters are based upon
a bathroom conversation. Oh yes ! and as my personal muse was coming back,
she ran me over . . . so I was unable to stand well for some time. But
at least she stayed so I could type this !
Thank You Section :
Thank you Everyone who has stuck by me throughout this story. (And put up with me). Thank you Kelly for that bathroom conversation, and Ashley for the relief and kind words during the walk. Thank you both for giving me something to laugh at and people to laugh with that random drive to the middle of no where (well close enough). You both have a way of putting things into perspective.
This is for every positive event in my life, and even the negative ones.
For without them . . . there is no reason.
You know :
" . . . . . . . " is speaking
' . . . . . . . ' is thinking
>>> is a scene change
~ . . . . . . . ~ is a time change
* . . . . . . . * is a sound
^ . . . . . . . ^ is the chapter name/number
( . . . . . . . ) is a little authors note during the fic. Only happens rearly.
Italic Writing is something written,
or a vision (and previous chapter . . . only at the beginning and indicated
that that's what it is)
HI everyone sorry about the long wait. But life has a way of sending
you curve balls. Unfortunately, I can't even catch the normal ones . .
.
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Last chapter (5 . . . wow . . . ) :
". . . "I never knew it was him .
. . " Mirai said with unnoticed little crystal tears in her eyes. "I always
thought it was wearied, but he never ever told me that it was him . . ."
" For Our Future"
By: Hidden Cherry Blossom
Chapter 6 :
^ To remember my reason . . . ^
"We all need a reason to live, to exist. And no matter how mundane it is, like being interested in anime. Or how important, like bringing about world peace. The major thing is that everyone has to find that reason . . . and . . . sometimes, that's even harder than living."
- Kinomoto Sakura, Age 19.
~ The Li Apartment ~
When Syaoran walked through the front door, he naturally closed and barred it behind him. He sighed. After dropping of his secret gift, he went for a walk. A long walk. It was well past mid night already, and still his thoughts where troubled. How could she know ? This was something important to him, to his clan. It was missing for so long so how ?
He walked to his room, but as he did, he looked at
his gift from Sakura again. Which now hung in it's proper place.
"The family will be proud to learn of this." He said more to the air, than
to even himself. He comptimplateded it even more, "but
. . . should I tell them now ? " and then fell asleep from exhaustion.
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~Mirai's room~
Sakura was tossing in her sleep. She was extremely troubled. When first she got it in her mind to use the Time for anything, she would not alter things. But, if she had to, she would not let anyone know who she truly was. Years after her father and brother learned of magic, they told her of long absent cousin Mirai. Her father told her everything about Mirai, in case a situation might ever arouse in which she would have to travel to the past. Sakura even did her own research into Mirai. Discovering that she had in fact went to University in Europe, and that she was becoming a teacher. But Mirai transferred out of that school, and no matter how much looking in to it that Sakura did, could not be found.
But now with everything all she prepared for, she had told two people . . . sorry two persons, her true identity. So what now ? What was she to do ? How long could she keep this up before someone else noticed. Once she started teaching, it would be harder. Any one person in that class could find her out, and very easily. But what else was she supposed to do ? What could she do ?
She tried to ignore the unpleasant thoughts. And slowly she fell asleep . . .
She sat up quickly. A noise had just startled her awake. But but something was off though. The light was entering the room wrong. But Sakura didn't notice that. *Crash* Something just shattered off the wall besides her. Getting up slowly, she pulled on her slippers, and started towards the source of the nose. Which originated from where her younger self's room was located.
But when she reached the door, something suppressed her, the colored walls where different from when she whet to bead. *Crash* Another thing broke, this time next to the door she approached. Slowly, she turned the handle.
Li her voice ecocide in her own head. Standing before her was a Syaoran who looked to be about 19 years and very troubled. Next to the door on the ground was broken shards of a vase.
Don't be so damn formal Sakura ! He screamed, furry evident in his voice.
Her body cringed uncontrollably at his sharpness.
I'm not in the mood ! He continued, then softened with the heavy burden he carried. They would not lessen, they never lessen. Syaoran croaked out as he sank to the floor. They wont let us. They wont even let me live my own life !
It's okay . . . She began, tears in her eyes. No matter how prepared for this to be the answer . . . it still hurt.
It's NOT okay ! How can it ! They wont let me live, or feel any emotions in front of anyone. They wont even let me love. Sakura . . . don't you understand ?
I understand, that the elders want you devote your time right now to the clan . . . but in a few months or years . . . That will change and you can live and love as much as you like. All she could do was try to reason with him, in all the years she had known him, never had he been so upset.
What's the point ? I love you now. And I can barley spend any time with you. I hate this. I hate having to be in charge ! I hate this life ! what's the point . . . I'll never be able to be what my family expects. They always complain, and take more and more away. Limiting my life to family business only. So why should I even care any more ? Why should I even go on ? They will only keep taking until I have nothing. They have already taken most of my years away from you. In their eyes I am only 19, to young to commit to an engagement, yet I'm old enough to take over completely my responsibilities as clan leader. When I was young . . . I was committed to Mei Lin, but that was because they approved. Reaching under the collar of his shirt, he pulled out a dragon pendent. Even when I showed them this, indicating to the pendent, they still would not approve. Even though they could not deny what it means, what it PROVES, they just put it aside, saying that the CLAN is more important then some 'Legend' . . . like that has ever stopped them before, to them the Clow cards were only a 'Legend', yet they sent me to Japan over that. They do what they want. Make me do what they want. Why don't THEY just run the clan like I know they want to. I'm just their puppet, their ligament front. He stood up and stooped near to one of the bigger pieces of broken glass and picked it up. Why . . . why should I go on ?
Sakura ran over to Syaoran, and grabbed hold of him. She held him in a fears hug. Because you have a lot to do for this world. Because your a great leader, they just need to trust your dessions and You more often. Because I can wait an eternity Syaoran, I do not mind. I love you too much to give up on you, on us. They will give their consent in time. Syaoran dropped the piece of glass, and returned Sakura's hug. Just because, we all need a reason to live, to exist. And no matter how mundane it is, like being interested in anime. Or how important, like bringing about world peace. The major thing is that everyone has to find that reason . . . and . . . sometimes, that's even harder than living.
Sakura, finding my reason is not hard . . . sometimes I fear that keeping it might be.
You will never loose me Syaoran, do you hear me ! We have been through too much to give up on us.
But what if you can't help it. He said sinking to the ground. Sakura, followed still holding on to him for support. But neither knew who needed it more.
I'll never let that happen, as long as I can draw one breath . . . I'll make sure of it.
What if . . . He whispered his head leaning in her hair.
Syaoran, there are a countless number of what ifs. You will only stress out about life and you wont be able to live.
Syaoran looked up at Sakura, and smiled for the first time in hours. Your right, your always right. Thanks love. he said, kissing her on the cheek. I'll just be the best dam clan leader they could ask for.
Yes, I know you will. Their just a bunch of old silly men any ways, who think they know what's best. But the truth is they're only looking out for their own interest. They'll realize, it'll just take them some time. Sakura smiled. I could ask my . . .
No, you don't need to involve HIM. Syaoran groaned.
Sakura giggled. But, he could talk to them, he is very persuasive. And they do have to lessen to him.
No.
I knew that would cheer you up, it always does. Sakura said, still giggling.
It's not exactly cheering up, He replied calmly, It's more the continued want for distance to remain between us . . . especially sense the last encounter.
But he's your relative too . . . Sakura continued, trying desperately not to laugh.
I do not consider HIM to be a relative . . .
Sakura blinked, sun was shinning in through
the window in her room. The memory of Syaoran, and of what had happened
upset her. Life as she knew it had changed, without any wornning.
What hurt more though was that she never even realized that she had fallen
asleep, and it felt just like it did when it really happened. Then waking
to the realization that . . . it was in the past, her past. It was understandable
that it was upsetting, right ? How could she think about her mission now.
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A/N : Woops ! I have just learned that in the manga, Sakura received
the back pack as a white day gift from her dad. But that's okay,
I mean this is a fanfiction, I can do what I want.
And I hope you all will forgive me for the short
pre-view. I'll get the full chapter out as fast as I can. Remember this
can change a bit depending upon how it goes.
