Disclaimer: Slam Dunk does not and will never belong to me. However, this plot belongs to me. If anyone dares to duplicate Cruel, be it rename it or change the characters' names and make it your own, be ready to get a letter from my lawyer.

Cruel -- Chapter 3: Real Identity
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The note goes:

"Sakuragi Hanamichi, be careful of your emotions. The organisation is watching you and do not forget that you are an assassin and the number one rule is that you are not allowed to fall in love. Otherwise, be ready to bear the consequences. I'm sure you know better than anyone what happened to your predecessor. Take care." I stare blankly into space. I had clean forgotten that I'm an assassin. I looked at Haruko who is still packing her bag. She noticed that I was still there and smiled at me. All of a sudden, I feel my heart clouded with fear, anxiety and helplessness. I definitely do not want to see the smile before me turning into tears...

From that very day onwards, I had not been able to sleep well. Every now and then as I closed my eyes, I see Haruko in my mind. I know very well that I cannot fall in love with her but yet I'm losing all my defences. I'm not any typical student, I am an assassin, and one that is controlled by an organisation. Don't be shocked. Yes. Even now in the 21st century, assassins are still operating. I came to Shohoku High for a motive --- Firstly, to receive my orders from the organisation without any suspicions aroused and secondly, to continue my education. Well, this is the difference, in the past assassins were not educated and they kill without using their brains. Now assassins have to calculate every moves and steps they carry out with mathematics and kill their opponent with skills. What's more, with the advance in technology, opponents now are harder than before to deal with. That's why we have to upgrade ourselves constantly in terms of knowledge otherwise we might be the ones to die instead of our preys.

What am I supposed to do? I think I had fallen in love with Haruko. I supposed its not too late to end everything right now, before I fall even deeper. If I fall in love with Haruko, that would spell trouble for her and I definitely wouldn't want anything to happen to her. I have to do anything to stop myself from falling deeper but I just do not know what to do!

I went to school as usual. Lessons were usual too. The only thing was that I wasn't paying attention at all. I prayed silently that all along all that feelings between me and Haruko was purely one-sided and that she feels nothing for me at all otherwise, it would be terrible. I can't bear the thought of thinking about the worst. I feel so helpless. There's nothing I can do.

Friday came. This time, I was not as elated as the previous week ever since I received the note from the organisation. Troubled and tired, I decide to take a walk to the canteen for lunch before going for peer support.

I stopped dead in my tracks. I saw Haruko. She was talking to a friend. I decide to just walk past her, pretend that I did not see her at all. She stopped talking to her friend and walked towards me. I want to turn and walk away but that would make everything way too obvious. I can't tell her that I'm deliberately avoiding her. What would she feel? I mustered all the courage I have and walked on towards her. After all, I do not have any choice!

"Hi... How have you been for the past week? Erm.. Your collar is not folded properly.." Without saying anything more, she propped me gently against the wall, reached her hand around my neck and adjusted my collar for me. I pushed her away from me. She stumbled backwards. I could have kicked myself. How can I be so rough to a girl and moreover to the girl I love? But the more I loved her, the more I have to do this... I can't get her into trouble...

"Go away... Don't get near me. I don't need you to bother about me!" I said. I could never imagine myself saying such hurting words, definitely not to her.

"What's wrong with you? Do you have to push me that hard even if you dislike me? I'm just trying to be helpful." Haruko shouted at me. I feel like committing suicide this very minute. How could I?I feel that I'm the worse excuse ever alive on this earth.

"I don't need you to be helpful. And yes, you're 101% right. I dislike you. And it's not jus plain dislike. I hate you. I hate peer support. Peer support eats into my CCA time and I have to do make-up for it on another day. You and peer support are nothing but trouble. Am I loud and clear?" I lied. Haruko walked off without saying anything more. I really hate myself.

I decide to go for peer support as usual. I want to see her a lot. I want to see her smile at me but I know that after what I said, I would probably not see her smile at me again. I really really hate myself. I hate my real identity more. Why do I have to be an assassin?

I reached the room. Everyone was present. I reached there last but I was not late. I saw her. She looks ok. Her eyes betrayed no emotions. Probably I was right, all along, the feelings were one-sided. She doesn't feel anything towards me at all.

"Alright.. Everybody's here. Let's begin today's session." Haruko began. Throughout the whole session, I did not pay attention at all. I kept my eyes glued on her. Finally the session for the day ended and I hurriedly packed my bag to leave. The room was empty except for only me and her left.

"Sakuragi! I do not put what you said in the canteen on my mind. After all, you are my junior. I believe that with time I'll be able to change your mindset. I just hope you will give me a chance to do so. Will you?" Haruko smiled at me.

"You can always try. But I doubt you will be able to do so." I said. At least, I know I won't give her the chance to change my mindset. I can't get any closer to her. Otherwise, I'm endangering her life.

"Thanks. I will prove you wrong. There's nothing impossible in this world, at least not to me." Haruko replied. Without saying anything more, she propped me to the wall and embraced me. "Don't push me away. Take it that you are just unlucky to be the only one around. Just give me 10 seconds, if not 5 seconds. I just need someone's shoulders to cry on..." I tried to resist but I feel so weak. I held her in my arms briefly as I watched her cry her heart out on my shoulders. I did not asked her anything. I know she will tell me if she want to. If not, there isn't a need for me to ask. Somehow I just knew that her tears have got something to do with me. I held her tighter than ever. I really do not want to let go of her. Crystalline liquid flowed from the two slits on my face and I turned away from her and ran off. Why? Why do I have to be an assassin?

~To Be Continued~

Please continue reading on to find out what may happen to Haruko and Sakuragi. I do not know yet. At least I'm out of idea for the night. Yawnz... People with ideas please email me at radicasion87@hotmail.com .. Thanks!