DISCLAIMER : I DO NOT OWN THESE CHARACTERS ..BUT LIKE LISBETH APTLY PUT WAY BACK WHEN , I WOULDN'T MIND OWNING ERIC STOLTZ. AND HIS HAIR.
REVIEWS: READ AND REVIEW!!!!, FEEL FREE TO READ AND REVIEW IT "MORE THAN ONCE"..... : )
CHAPTER SUMMARY: HAVING CHECKED INTO THE "STATE LAWS''.AHHH ......WELL REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW. ....INSPIRATIONS FOR THIS NEXT PIECE INCLUDED PROMETHEUS UNBOUND (THE ASIA PASSAGE ABOUT SOULS & BOATS IS HOW I SEE DIMITRI OR THE RED HEAD THAT PORTRAYED HIM AND IS ONE WAY HOW I THINK POEMS SHOULD BE. THIS CHAPTER IS FOR MY CAPTAIN... LOVE ALWAYS, SPROUTY. OTHER INFLUENCES: ALGERON, JAKE BRIGGS MUSIC AND JULIA WHELAN. MAY IT BE WORTHY OF AUGUST THE BRINGER OF LITERARY DEVELOPMENT.......
EMAIL; jeanl2@sympatico.ca
THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING AUGUST
"I really should be going. As much as I'd like to-- and I really would like to. I really can't be late." Grace laughed, "You know what that's like".
August lifted his head and shifted his weight off her, rolling over with a stifled groan. There was a comfortable resigned moment of happiness. Resting on the pillow he put one hand behind supporting his neck and with the other smoothed his dishelved hair with his fingers. He leaned his head back breathing hard looking up at the ceiling then arched his neck back in place to look over to find Grace. The television was on in the corner where it had been turned on upon their entrance in the room. The Manchurian Candidate. The sound was turned down so low it was bearly audible but it hadn't seemed to go noticed.
"What time is it?". Grace leaned over across him to see the alarm clock and allowed her arm to slide around his waist. "It's almost midnight. I've got to go because --"
"Because?"
"If anyone found out where I was."
"Then they would know where you were."
"Look I know we need to have this conversation."
Grace now sitting on the edge of the bed got up , beginning to do up her shirt buttons. August got up straightening his dark blue shirt which was in a state of upheaval and smoothing his wrinkled trousers front.
"Let me drive you home at least. I'm not letting you walk home at this time of night."
He got up and moved behind her, rubbing her shoulders and arms. Every muscle responding to his touch.
"But I mean is there sometime that we can talk about this. It's not something that can exactly be put off you know. However much I hate to impose regulations on passion"
Grace turned smiling. "Passion?"
"Yes, passion. The magnetic attraction of one body to another body. The last earthly suffering." He mumbled and moved towards her kissing the side of her throat. "My Anna on the neck. Mmmmmf."
"August."
"We're going. Have you seen my keys?"
He vaguely looked around then spotted them on the dresser top were they had hastly been tossed. Grace breathed in hard and started to walk downstairs ahead of him turning for a moment for one final glance around his room. She smiled. They would never have this night again. Driving to her house the streets were dark and silent. It was a misty kind of night where everything that was had a hint of dew surrounding it. It was warm out but with a breeze. The windows in the car were rolled down.
"Look Grace about your mother and this baby. You know you need to talk to her about it. I have a feeling it's maybe what you need. A lot of fences have been broken but it doesn't have to mean things are beyond repair. "
He looked over at her. One hand on the steering wheel.
"Sometimes you pick up a paint brush and slap a coat of those tattered fences until you can afford the price to fix them."
"I can think about it. Look what I said back at your house- about babies. I didn't necessarily mean it. When Tiffany had Maddie well it was [slowly] amazing. It was life. It was everything. But I think I should be entitled to resent it ..just for a little while."
"You are. Grace [he mused over the name enjoying the way it sounded]....The Greeks had a story about 'Grace' ,a myth of three beautiful sisters...."
They were approaching her street.
"Stop the car."
"What."
"You know shut off the engine!" she grappled for his arm urgently. The car quietly came to a stop in front of the house before hers.
"How are we going to manage this one?"
"What."
He pointed to the house, "Unlawful entry," he leaned in whispering, "I mean do you need me to give you any help climbing the trees or something. Elm is pretty solid wood. [he grinned]
She smiled and it was the only thing to do. His eyes in the dark on hers.
"You're insane."
Dimitri in all seriousness, "Quite possibly".
"Look what if I call you later. Say in half an hour when you get home. [with hesitation] That's if you give me your number". She looked up. He was watching her intently with an unreadable expression. He reached up to bring down the sun visor down. It was loaded with papers, cards, photos, clippings. He paused looking at the assortment.
"Grace you're sure about this. [and with a pause] About- " he said writing his number on a slip of paper. He never looked up.
"I'm sure".
The answer was barely audible as a car passed by close at hand on the street. She placed her hand on his to take the number. He let hold of his grasp on the cream coloured paper and held her hand.
"Are you sure. That your ok, I mean tonight....."
Grace picked up the folded paper. "You know you worry too much."
"Well maybe you give me good reason to worry. Or I give myself reason."
Still holding his hand she edged closer to him. "I'll call. And you know you shouldn't throw proposals around like that to people. Someone just might take you up on on it sometime."
"I--"
"I meant about the tree."
He let go of her hand and let his eyes fall into beat with hers for a moment. A very long moment as he drifted as far as the deep pools would let him before he would drown. He turned the key in the ignition . She got out of the car looking back to see him lost in thought. Lost in some place there wasn't room to follow him to. Not that she wouldn't have tried but he didn't seem willing or prepared yet to let her. Maybe it was the 20 year head start that never quite seemed to get eradicated.
~****************************************************~
She walked around to the door that let into the kitchen. Peeking in the window , the house was dark and only a hall light on somewhere. Quietly and slowly she turned the key. Stopping a moment then waiting, but she didn't hear a sound only odd creaks and ticking. Grace's eyes luminous in the dark keenly took in everything as she made her way up the stairs clutching the cell phone she had swipped from the kitchen. In her bedroom she softly shut the door and hide the cell phone and paper under her covers before changing into pyjamas for the night. Pausing before putting on a t-shirt befitting sleep she was startled noticing she could still smell him. On her clothes , her body. It was a pleasing smell. His aftershave? Soap? She brought her arm up to her nose to take it in. Oddly in smelt like spring and unexpected april snowfall and classrooms. If there could be such a combination.
Unfolding the paper she smoothed the rough and wrinkled spots down. Rose petals. Was there another word for that texture. There was the number he had written and beside it a name. Then in capital letters BIRDS AND SHIPS then in lower case....ex gratia. She pressed the portable's buttons dialing and raised the receiver to her ear. Her eyes taking in Percy Shelley's words,
"My soul is an enchanted boat,
Which, like a sleeping swan, doth float
Upon the silver waves of thy sweet singing;
And thine doth like an angel sit
Beside the helm conducting it,
Whilst all the winds with melody are ringing.
It seems to float ever, for ever,
Between mountains , woods , abysses,
A paradise of wildernesses!
Till, like one in slumber bound,
Borne to the ocean, I float down, around,
Into a sea profound, of ever-spreading sound:........
And we sail on, away, afar.
Without a course, without a star,
But, by the instinct of sweet music driven;
Till through Elysians garden islets
By thee, most beautiful of pilots,
Where never mortal pinnace glided,
The boat of my desire is guilded:
Realms where the air we breathe is love,
Which in the winds and on the waves doth move....
Ex gratia? She looked up the translation. Latin: as a matter of grace .
~*************************************************~
"Have you considered what your going to do?" Grace asked lying in her bed letting the sound his voice compell her to sleep.
"That's one of the things I wanted to talk to you about. I mean I never expected this to happen. Not being Mr.Dimitri. It was not something I had an agenda about- I mean fumbling around in beds is never something I consider casting away lightly. But it's not--
"It's not the way this story goes.
"No. A professor emeritus. But I have had an idea , or the start of an idea. It's not formulated quite yet and the cast of characters need their roles defined. It seems I'm looking for something clear cut and finding everything but that. It's actually got me excited but I don't want to vault over both the cart and horse before it's definitive. If it works out though, well [laughs] it would be because of you."
"I'm not sure I want to be the source a certifiably mad man's laughter."
"Et tu Brute."
"Seriously."
"What about your story. That you been continuing with it... it's something I think about a lot. Your stories. And there are several publications in the market just now not to mention the summer contests are just now gearing up for short stories."
"Not really. It seems like all the endings I've attempted aren't working so lately I haven't had the motivation. I'm considering not having an ending at all just stopping mid sentence. But then it cheats the audience of the ending because I do know the ending. I just can't ever write into words that do it justice."
"You'll have to bring it by sometime. I've missed her, the inner Grace. Chris called me earlier tonight."
"Would I be a horrible person if I said I hated her."
"Grace, you wouldn't be horrible. But you wouldn't be honest. You don't even know her. Later...well then it's permitted to form opinions. Opinions don't demand concrete proves and truths so I'm open to being shocked in that realm. She was proposing a little get together. At my house. It would be informal no Mansfield park or Rocky Horror. [pause] I think you should come. We're not play acting this are we? I mean if this is going to be a relationship it has to be a real one having both an existence in the real and private." He held in his jaw least a sound escape and waited for the answer.
"I don't want to keep it hidden either but what choice is there. I certainly can't tell my parents and if the school became involved again. You're not faculty but you're still a teacher.
"I'm not asking you to choose Grace or to make the hard decisions. I'm just asking you to come to the party. For a night at least. I know what we decided- what we choose or the choice that became imposed. But I also know what matters. I need you there. I'm always saddled with the clean up.
"Ohhh saddles. First carts, then horses now cowboys. Well if it's going to be that kind of party..."
~***********************************************************~
Liquor bottles were everywhere. The eclectic mix of hip and hip-replacement groups of his friends were wasted. Someone was in the bathroom smoking hash. And Grace was franticly searching for August. She had been to parties. Well sort of. Fumbling ackward teenage parties. Adolescents thought they partied but she was coming to the realization that the Upton Sinclair crowd had no idea or even the concept of one. She was out of her league. There had not been any formal introductions. Mostly no one asked. August introduced her as a friend and former student. And with a glass in her hand no one asked her age.
"Grace," an arm went around her. "How the fuck do we get these people out of here? And safely. Did they all come in cars?"
"Thank god." She had never heard him use that word before.
"I'm sorry. And don't tell a soul but Grace--I don't know half these people."
u r the best thing~~D:Ream
"I took at chance
At the price my soul would burn...
Inside my desire...
Nobody thought that would satisfy my needs
I need hope, give me hope.......
And you may ask where are we now
Just look around you now lift your head above the crowd
I know now ,what I didn't know
Then a rock and roll
Took to friendships that wouldn't last ,cause they weren't right not like you
You're the best thing I ever had
Got a feeling I've been searching for it last.."
~*****************************************************~
The party was in triumphant swing and Dimitri lead Grace into the kitchen. They moved over to near the counter, Grace near the sink ran some water and pushed a few dishes around. She started looking for a cloth. It was the first time he ever said he loved her. That he gave a voice to the narratives on love he had written, with restrained words and with his eyes, to her for months. Fully becoming the author proclaiming ownership of a feeling. He reached for her waist drawing her to him. Hips to hips.
"August--"
He was kissing her and she was not resisting. Her hands running like drops of jupiter in this hair. It made him think of that song by Train. She sighed ,"Right here".
"Don't go tonight."
Chris watching in the door turned away. Later at the party she watched. Grace talking with Jim in the corner about the world cup. August beside them trying to get Jim into an argument over Janus and the possibility of true and false existing in unison in some quote of allegorical writing.
Simple Brain~~The waltons....
"Dreaming of day dreams aloud in the dark
and I love when you say them, dark roll down
Talking in circles in circles of love
The pure and the sour may be all around you now
Sure your lips bargain down
It's reason to worry
A season for shame
Locked inside your most unsimple brain
Straight as an arrow
We're safe in the shadows
Crooked and weavy the paths they will take
So long as the eggshells they thread upon lightly won't shatter them slightly ...."
REVIEWS: READ AND REVIEW!!!!, FEEL FREE TO READ AND REVIEW IT "MORE THAN ONCE"..... : )
CHAPTER SUMMARY: HAVING CHECKED INTO THE "STATE LAWS''.AHHH ......WELL REVIEW AND LET ME KNOW. ....INSPIRATIONS FOR THIS NEXT PIECE INCLUDED PROMETHEUS UNBOUND (THE ASIA PASSAGE ABOUT SOULS & BOATS IS HOW I SEE DIMITRI OR THE RED HEAD THAT PORTRAYED HIM AND IS ONE WAY HOW I THINK POEMS SHOULD BE. THIS CHAPTER IS FOR MY CAPTAIN... LOVE ALWAYS, SPROUTY. OTHER INFLUENCES: ALGERON, JAKE BRIGGS MUSIC AND JULIA WHELAN. MAY IT BE WORTHY OF AUGUST THE BRINGER OF LITERARY DEVELOPMENT.......
EMAIL; jeanl2@sympatico.ca
THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING AUGUST
"I really should be going. As much as I'd like to-- and I really would like to. I really can't be late." Grace laughed, "You know what that's like".
August lifted his head and shifted his weight off her, rolling over with a stifled groan. There was a comfortable resigned moment of happiness. Resting on the pillow he put one hand behind supporting his neck and with the other smoothed his dishelved hair with his fingers. He leaned his head back breathing hard looking up at the ceiling then arched his neck back in place to look over to find Grace. The television was on in the corner where it had been turned on upon their entrance in the room. The Manchurian Candidate. The sound was turned down so low it was bearly audible but it hadn't seemed to go noticed.
"What time is it?". Grace leaned over across him to see the alarm clock and allowed her arm to slide around his waist. "It's almost midnight. I've got to go because --"
"Because?"
"If anyone found out where I was."
"Then they would know where you were."
"Look I know we need to have this conversation."
Grace now sitting on the edge of the bed got up , beginning to do up her shirt buttons. August got up straightening his dark blue shirt which was in a state of upheaval and smoothing his wrinkled trousers front.
"Let me drive you home at least. I'm not letting you walk home at this time of night."
He got up and moved behind her, rubbing her shoulders and arms. Every muscle responding to his touch.
"But I mean is there sometime that we can talk about this. It's not something that can exactly be put off you know. However much I hate to impose regulations on passion"
Grace turned smiling. "Passion?"
"Yes, passion. The magnetic attraction of one body to another body. The last earthly suffering." He mumbled and moved towards her kissing the side of her throat. "My Anna on the neck. Mmmmmf."
"August."
"We're going. Have you seen my keys?"
He vaguely looked around then spotted them on the dresser top were they had hastly been tossed. Grace breathed in hard and started to walk downstairs ahead of him turning for a moment for one final glance around his room. She smiled. They would never have this night again. Driving to her house the streets were dark and silent. It was a misty kind of night where everything that was had a hint of dew surrounding it. It was warm out but with a breeze. The windows in the car were rolled down.
"Look Grace about your mother and this baby. You know you need to talk to her about it. I have a feeling it's maybe what you need. A lot of fences have been broken but it doesn't have to mean things are beyond repair. "
He looked over at her. One hand on the steering wheel.
"Sometimes you pick up a paint brush and slap a coat of those tattered fences until you can afford the price to fix them."
"I can think about it. Look what I said back at your house- about babies. I didn't necessarily mean it. When Tiffany had Maddie well it was [slowly] amazing. It was life. It was everything. But I think I should be entitled to resent it ..just for a little while."
"You are. Grace [he mused over the name enjoying the way it sounded]....The Greeks had a story about 'Grace' ,a myth of three beautiful sisters...."
They were approaching her street.
"Stop the car."
"What."
"You know shut off the engine!" she grappled for his arm urgently. The car quietly came to a stop in front of the house before hers.
"How are we going to manage this one?"
"What."
He pointed to the house, "Unlawful entry," he leaned in whispering, "I mean do you need me to give you any help climbing the trees or something. Elm is pretty solid wood. [he grinned]
She smiled and it was the only thing to do. His eyes in the dark on hers.
"You're insane."
Dimitri in all seriousness, "Quite possibly".
"Look what if I call you later. Say in half an hour when you get home. [with hesitation] That's if you give me your number". She looked up. He was watching her intently with an unreadable expression. He reached up to bring down the sun visor down. It was loaded with papers, cards, photos, clippings. He paused looking at the assortment.
"Grace you're sure about this. [and with a pause] About- " he said writing his number on a slip of paper. He never looked up.
"I'm sure".
The answer was barely audible as a car passed by close at hand on the street. She placed her hand on his to take the number. He let hold of his grasp on the cream coloured paper and held her hand.
"Are you sure. That your ok, I mean tonight....."
Grace picked up the folded paper. "You know you worry too much."
"Well maybe you give me good reason to worry. Or I give myself reason."
Still holding his hand she edged closer to him. "I'll call. And you know you shouldn't throw proposals around like that to people. Someone just might take you up on on it sometime."
"I--"
"I meant about the tree."
He let go of her hand and let his eyes fall into beat with hers for a moment. A very long moment as he drifted as far as the deep pools would let him before he would drown. He turned the key in the ignition . She got out of the car looking back to see him lost in thought. Lost in some place there wasn't room to follow him to. Not that she wouldn't have tried but he didn't seem willing or prepared yet to let her. Maybe it was the 20 year head start that never quite seemed to get eradicated.
~****************************************************~
She walked around to the door that let into the kitchen. Peeking in the window , the house was dark and only a hall light on somewhere. Quietly and slowly she turned the key. Stopping a moment then waiting, but she didn't hear a sound only odd creaks and ticking. Grace's eyes luminous in the dark keenly took in everything as she made her way up the stairs clutching the cell phone she had swipped from the kitchen. In her bedroom she softly shut the door and hide the cell phone and paper under her covers before changing into pyjamas for the night. Pausing before putting on a t-shirt befitting sleep she was startled noticing she could still smell him. On her clothes , her body. It was a pleasing smell. His aftershave? Soap? She brought her arm up to her nose to take it in. Oddly in smelt like spring and unexpected april snowfall and classrooms. If there could be such a combination.
Unfolding the paper she smoothed the rough and wrinkled spots down. Rose petals. Was there another word for that texture. There was the number he had written and beside it a name. Then in capital letters BIRDS AND SHIPS then in lower case....ex gratia. She pressed the portable's buttons dialing and raised the receiver to her ear. Her eyes taking in Percy Shelley's words,
"My soul is an enchanted boat,
Which, like a sleeping swan, doth float
Upon the silver waves of thy sweet singing;
And thine doth like an angel sit
Beside the helm conducting it,
Whilst all the winds with melody are ringing.
It seems to float ever, for ever,
Between mountains , woods , abysses,
A paradise of wildernesses!
Till, like one in slumber bound,
Borne to the ocean, I float down, around,
Into a sea profound, of ever-spreading sound:........
And we sail on, away, afar.
Without a course, without a star,
But, by the instinct of sweet music driven;
Till through Elysians garden islets
By thee, most beautiful of pilots,
Where never mortal pinnace glided,
The boat of my desire is guilded:
Realms where the air we breathe is love,
Which in the winds and on the waves doth move....
Ex gratia? She looked up the translation. Latin: as a matter of grace .
~*************************************************~
"Have you considered what your going to do?" Grace asked lying in her bed letting the sound his voice compell her to sleep.
"That's one of the things I wanted to talk to you about. I mean I never expected this to happen. Not being Mr.Dimitri. It was not something I had an agenda about- I mean fumbling around in beds is never something I consider casting away lightly. But it's not--
"It's not the way this story goes.
"No. A professor emeritus. But I have had an idea , or the start of an idea. It's not formulated quite yet and the cast of characters need their roles defined. It seems I'm looking for something clear cut and finding everything but that. It's actually got me excited but I don't want to vault over both the cart and horse before it's definitive. If it works out though, well [laughs] it would be because of you."
"I'm not sure I want to be the source a certifiably mad man's laughter."
"Et tu Brute."
"Seriously."
"What about your story. That you been continuing with it... it's something I think about a lot. Your stories. And there are several publications in the market just now not to mention the summer contests are just now gearing up for short stories."
"Not really. It seems like all the endings I've attempted aren't working so lately I haven't had the motivation. I'm considering not having an ending at all just stopping mid sentence. But then it cheats the audience of the ending because I do know the ending. I just can't ever write into words that do it justice."
"You'll have to bring it by sometime. I've missed her, the inner Grace. Chris called me earlier tonight."
"Would I be a horrible person if I said I hated her."
"Grace, you wouldn't be horrible. But you wouldn't be honest. You don't even know her. Later...well then it's permitted to form opinions. Opinions don't demand concrete proves and truths so I'm open to being shocked in that realm. She was proposing a little get together. At my house. It would be informal no Mansfield park or Rocky Horror. [pause] I think you should come. We're not play acting this are we? I mean if this is going to be a relationship it has to be a real one having both an existence in the real and private." He held in his jaw least a sound escape and waited for the answer.
"I don't want to keep it hidden either but what choice is there. I certainly can't tell my parents and if the school became involved again. You're not faculty but you're still a teacher.
"I'm not asking you to choose Grace or to make the hard decisions. I'm just asking you to come to the party. For a night at least. I know what we decided- what we choose or the choice that became imposed. But I also know what matters. I need you there. I'm always saddled with the clean up.
"Ohhh saddles. First carts, then horses now cowboys. Well if it's going to be that kind of party..."
~***********************************************************~
Liquor bottles were everywhere. The eclectic mix of hip and hip-replacement groups of his friends were wasted. Someone was in the bathroom smoking hash. And Grace was franticly searching for August. She had been to parties. Well sort of. Fumbling ackward teenage parties. Adolescents thought they partied but she was coming to the realization that the Upton Sinclair crowd had no idea or even the concept of one. She was out of her league. There had not been any formal introductions. Mostly no one asked. August introduced her as a friend and former student. And with a glass in her hand no one asked her age.
"Grace," an arm went around her. "How the fuck do we get these people out of here? And safely. Did they all come in cars?"
"Thank god." She had never heard him use that word before.
"I'm sorry. And don't tell a soul but Grace--I don't know half these people."
u r the best thing~~D:Ream
"I took at chance
At the price my soul would burn...
Inside my desire...
Nobody thought that would satisfy my needs
I need hope, give me hope.......
And you may ask where are we now
Just look around you now lift your head above the crowd
I know now ,what I didn't know
Then a rock and roll
Took to friendships that wouldn't last ,cause they weren't right not like you
You're the best thing I ever had
Got a feeling I've been searching for it last.."
~*****************************************************~
The party was in triumphant swing and Dimitri lead Grace into the kitchen. They moved over to near the counter, Grace near the sink ran some water and pushed a few dishes around. She started looking for a cloth. It was the first time he ever said he loved her. That he gave a voice to the narratives on love he had written, with restrained words and with his eyes, to her for months. Fully becoming the author proclaiming ownership of a feeling. He reached for her waist drawing her to him. Hips to hips.
"August--"
He was kissing her and she was not resisting. Her hands running like drops of jupiter in this hair. It made him think of that song by Train. She sighed ,"Right here".
"Don't go tonight."
Chris watching in the door turned away. Later at the party she watched. Grace talking with Jim in the corner about the world cup. August beside them trying to get Jim into an argument over Janus and the possibility of true and false existing in unison in some quote of allegorical writing.
Simple Brain~~The waltons....
"Dreaming of day dreams aloud in the dark
and I love when you say them, dark roll down
Talking in circles in circles of love
The pure and the sour may be all around you now
Sure your lips bargain down
It's reason to worry
A season for shame
Locked inside your most unsimple brain
Straight as an arrow
We're safe in the shadows
Crooked and weavy the paths they will take
So long as the eggshells they thread upon lightly won't shatter them slightly ...."