Hermione glanced up from the steaming cauldron to look at her tutor. He
seemed engrossed in a stack of fifth-year essays, making the occasional
comment on them in his illegible scrawl. He'd barely spoken to her since
that afternoon when they'd almost kissed, becoming cold and distant once
more, reverting to the Snape she knew was a facade.
What hurt was the fact that he now seemed to deem her no longer worthy of comment, be it praise or a snide remark. He was treating her with indifference that she knew he didn't feel, and it was tearing her apart. On the one hand, she wanted desperately for him to kiss her, the way he had almost done before. However, on the other hand, she wanted him to suffer for making her feel as if his emotions were all her fault.
She mashed the mandrake root mercilessly in the pestle and mortar, adding it carefully to the simmering mixture before her. Her hair fell into her eyes, but rather than flick it away, she ignored it, preferring to have something to hide behind.
Snape looked up at her from lowered eyelids, seeing the force with which she was crushing the root. She was angry about something, but he daren't ask what, for fear that he would lose control the way he had before. He had wanted so much to kiss her, to hold her in his arms, that he had forgotten for a moment just how wrong he was for her. He knew he was being unfair to her by becoming the professor once more, but it was the only way he could protect her from himself.
His heart ached with having her so close all the time, and yet untouchable. He refused to bring her into his life, refused to taint her carefully preserved innocence with his dark past. As much as he longed to stroke her hair from her face, press his lips to hers, he knew he mustn't, because to do so would be to corrupt her. So he replaced his mask, and retreated behind the cold arrogant git that had kept her hatred of him alive for six years.
Hermione could feel his eyes on her, letting herself enjoy the sensation of being watched by the one she loved. Distracted by this, her hand caught the cauldron rim, tipping the delicately balanced piece of equipment over, and spilling the contents across the worktop. She raised her hands to protect her face as the potion began to spit.
A hand grasped the back of her robes and yanked her to safety. Snape stepped past her, clearing the mess with his wand, and fighting the anger that boiled inside him for such a stupid mistake.
'Miss Granger, in all the years I have known you, never have I seen you make such an idiotic mistake,' he snapped, ignoring the tears that were threatening to spill from her eyes. 'Go to the Hospital Wing, and I'll see you tomorrow, when hopefully your attention will be on work!'
Hermione turned and ran from the room, fighting the tears that streamed down her face. Snape watched her go, ashamed of his behaviour. He knew if he'd not been treating her so badly, she would not have upset the cauldron. He drew in a deep breath, and returned to repairing the damage to the worktop, resolving to find her when he was done.
When he reached the Hospital Wing and enquired after her, Madame Pomfrey gave him a strange look, denying that she had seen Hermione that day.
'She's not been up here today, Severus,' she told him, sending a fourth-year off with instructions not to be so stupid next time. 'What's happened?'
Reluctant to admit his shameful behaviour, Snape shrugged.
'She's not in her chambers, and I wanted to speak with her about her research,' he lied, turning to leave swiftly. Cursing himself, he made his way to her chambers, only to discover that his lie was the truth. Hermione was nowhere to be found.
*~*~*
Later that evening, Snape was pacing his private room in agitation when a furious Ronald Weasley stumbled from his fireplace, spluttering in anger.
'Mr Weasley, how good of you not to ask to visit,' he said irritably.
Ron shook a finger under his nose.
'Shut up,' he said abruptly, 'and sit down. We need to talk.'
Rather than argue - he knew the Weasley temperament well - Snape sat, fairly certain that he knew why the redhead was there. Ron glared down at him.
'You have got to start treating Hermione better, Professor,' he said, spitting the title with distaste. 'I don't know what you've done, but I've just spent the last four hours with her sobbing on me, and not able to get one single coherent word out of her!'
Snape opened his mouth to reply, cut off by Ron's finger under his nose again.
'I'm not finished. You know how bad Hermione's year has been, you know how hard she took what she had to do, and how brave she's been to keep going,' he listed, his face flushed with anger. 'I think the least you could do is treat her with a little respect, may be even understanding. I know for a fact that Hermione thinks very highly of you, and your opinion means a lot to her. She's spent the last few months trying to convince me that you're not such a bad person, and I almost believed her. And then you reduce her to tears, shred her self-confidence and she's back where she started. You're a nasty, arrogant, heartless bastard, Snape, and I swear, if you hurt Hermione again, I'll give you a beating you'll never forget!'
Snape watched as this tirade wound to a close, feeling inordinately guilty for upsetting Hermione and dragging Ron into their problems.
'Finished?' he asked quietly, not a trace of his usual sarcasm evident.
Ron glared for a moment before nodding.
'Yes,' he said, throwing himself into a chair opposite his former Potions professor.
'As you are well aware, I do respect Miss Granger's fortitude and endurance, and am not at all proud of myself for upsetting her,' he began, then stopped, wondering if he could admit to her best friend what he couldn't to her.
He stood, and moved to the fireplace, gazing into the flames to hide his pain and shock at the damage his hasty words had done. Ron watched him suspiciously, still slightly afraid of the forbidding man before him. Snape sighed.
'I assure you, I deeply regret my words to her this afternoon,' he said softly. 'I had intended to put it straight when I'd tidied up in the workroom, but by then she had left the building, and I couldn't find her. I have behaved appallingly towards Hermione in the past few weeks, and I am very sorry for it. However, I do not appreciate your coming here without the full facts and presuming to know what's going on!'
Ron winced at the harsh words, knowing that he had gone too far. Snape turned back to the fire, steeling himself for what he was about to say.
'I would ask you, Mr Weasley, that none of what I say here goes any further.'
Ron nodded slowly, perceptive enough to realise that this was a delicate situation.
'Alright, Professor.'
Still facing the flames, Snape swallowed, forcing the words out.
'I love Hermione, and I have no wish to drag her into my life, which, needless to say, has not been the most pure. I'm sure you will be aware that, a few weeks ago, I almost kissed her, saved only by the timely arrival of the Headmaster. I do not want to see Hermione destroyed by me, and indifference is the only way I can ensure it doesn't happen. My reaction today was due to the fact that she could have been hurt, and I was worried for her. That, Mr Weasley, is the truth, pure and simple.'
Ron was speechless. Snape loved Hermione? He could see why the Potions Master would want to protect her, the same way Ron himself would. He stood, braving the glare to place a hand on Snape's shoulder.
'I understand, Professor,' he said quietly. 'But Hermione's a big girl now, and she can make her own decisions. She's faced the worst and come out of it. What makes you think she needs protecting? Let her decide what's best for Hermione. I know I have, and it was the hardest decision I've ever had to make. But it was the best I could. You should try it, sir.'
He produced a handful of Floo powder from his pocket and threw it into the fire. Snape's hand shot out, preventing him from stepping into the flames.
'Where is Hermione now?' he asked.
Ron snorted.
'Mum's fussing over her,' he said, amused. 'Look, you two need some time apart, so we'll keep her with us over the weekend, alright? Just you think about what I said. It might work.'
Snape nodded slowly, releasing Ron's arm and letting the young man step into the green fire.
'Thank you,' he said quietly, as Ron disappeared.
For a long while, he gazed at the flames, wondering if Hermione's friend was right.
*~*~*
Parvati squealed with delight, almost pouncing on a swatch of crushed velvet.
'Hermione, you'd look stunning in this!'
Hermione and Lavender exchanged a weary sigh and moved to stand beside their friend as she enthused over the rich cloth. They'd been dragged into London to be measured for the wedding dresses, and now Parvati was exclaiming over material in an effort to decide what colour her bridesmaids should wear.
Lavender hid a yawn, grinning as Hermione found herself beset by dressmakers, holding the blood-red material against her and making comments on her colouring and shape. Hermione gave her a good-natured scowl, knowing that Parvati hadn't yet found a material for her other bridesmaid's dress to be made up in.
Finally, after going on six hours of wandering the aisles of the haberdashery, Parvati made her decisions and paid for the dresses, which would be made up and sent to the Burrow when they were ready. She and Ron had already decided to be married in his back garden, an arrangement Molly Weasley had found highly amusing.
Seeing how tired her friends were, Parvati was all apologies, and insisted on taking them to dinner, ushering them into the Leaky Cauldron with as much enthusiasm as she'd had when shopping. As they sat down, Hermione became immediately aware of a certain Potions Master sitting a couple of tables away.
Snape had noticed the girls as soon as they'd come in, feeling his heart leap at seeing Hermione again. She looked weary but happy, glancing around at the other tables as she sat down. Her eyes locked with his and he nodded pleasantly to her, a slight smile quirking at his lips. Hesitantly she smiled back, returning his nod before Lavender Brown captured her attention once again.
He felt himself relax, she wasn't the type to hold a grudge. He was himself in London to stock up on supplies, and to investigate a new potion's warehouse that had opened near Gringotts in Gnorm Alley. It had turned out not to be worth the effort, a disappointment, to say the least. But he was glad he had made the effort, simply for the pleasure of seeing Hermione again.
He glanced up, and was pleased to see her laughing with her friends, an amused smile lighting her face. It had been too long since he'd heard her laughter, or seen her smile turned on him. He'd thought long and hard about what Ron had told him, recognising the wisdom in his words. Hermione was old enough to make her own decisions, and it was about time he let her. If she didn't want him, so be it, but until she told him so, to his face, he reserved the right to hope for what he didn't deserve.
*~*~*
The day of the wedding had finally arrived. Hermione had Floo'd to the Burrow just in time to prevent a rather phenomenal case of nerves from prompting Parvati to run for her life. After consulting with Charlie and finding out that Ron was in exactly the same way, she'd sent Ginny to Hogwarts with a request for some sort of calming potion from Snape, who had obliged. The two of them were now very serene, and everything was moving along calmly once more.
The dresses had been brought out and put on, the girls exclaiming over how beautiful each other looked, and especially over Parvati. She was the picture of beauty, from her shining hair piled up under a soft veil, to the white gown that hugged every curve, and her delicate satin slippers. As last minute adjustments were made, noises from the kitchen downstairs announced the arrivals of the first guests.
Ron was waiting in the garden with his brothers, trying to ignore the teasing, secure in the knowledge that he was the first one of them to actually take the plunge and get married. The garden had been de-gnomed, Hermione sending Crookshanks over the night before to help, since the ginger tom adored chasing the knobbly creatures.
Friends and family gathered together, forming a wide circle around the anxious groom. Ron swallowed nervously as his brothers moved away to form a pentacle around him, inside the circle, with Padma, Parvati's sister. Between them stood those who had been asked to bless the pair as they began their life together.
The hush that fell over the garden as Parvati ventured out into the spring sunshine was awe-inspiring. Hermione later swore that she'd never seen Ron's jaw drop quite so low in all her life. Taking her place between Gred and Forge - they were wearing identical robes, so not even their mother could tell them apart - she had a wonderful view of her two friends as they made their commitment.
A wizard's wedding is not an intricate ceremony performed by a priest, but simply an exchange of vows spoken by the couple to one another in front of witnesses. The family gives their blessing to the pair, and a ring is given to the bride as a sign of never-ending love.
Hermione could see Ron shaking as he took Parvati's hands in his. He winked at her, his blue eyes twinkling like Dumbledore's.
'Parvati,' he said, his voice shaking. 'There's nothing I can say that could possibly express how happy you made me the day you agreed to be my wife. It even rivals the day I made Beater for the Quidditch team.'
There was scattered laughter amongst those gathered around them.
'Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is, I love you, Parvati, and I want you beside me forever.'
Blushing, Parvati drew in a deep breath, smiling up into her lover's eyes.
'No one would ever have guessed we'd end up together, would they? But we have, and I have so much to be thankful for. Ron, you've taught me so much, and I still have lots more to learn. I want us to be like Dumbledore and McGonagall, because I love you with my heart and soul.'
Eyes glowing with deep love, Ron leant down and kissed her, holding her close as their families came forward.
'Together we stand to lay our blessing on the union of Ron and Parvati, and wish them joy in their lives together. By Merlin, and Avalon, they are united.'
Tears shone in Parvati's eyes as Ron slipped a simple gold band on her finger, pulling her close for the kiss that would seal their union before all present. The Burrow echoed with applause, friends and family rising to greet the new couple as they made their way into the house, together.
*~*~*
That was a long one, wasn't it? Anyway, only one more chapter to go! Will they get together, or will Hermione have changed the future forever? To find out, click on the little blue button and review! Make me believe that you really need to know!
What hurt was the fact that he now seemed to deem her no longer worthy of comment, be it praise or a snide remark. He was treating her with indifference that she knew he didn't feel, and it was tearing her apart. On the one hand, she wanted desperately for him to kiss her, the way he had almost done before. However, on the other hand, she wanted him to suffer for making her feel as if his emotions were all her fault.
She mashed the mandrake root mercilessly in the pestle and mortar, adding it carefully to the simmering mixture before her. Her hair fell into her eyes, but rather than flick it away, she ignored it, preferring to have something to hide behind.
Snape looked up at her from lowered eyelids, seeing the force with which she was crushing the root. She was angry about something, but he daren't ask what, for fear that he would lose control the way he had before. He had wanted so much to kiss her, to hold her in his arms, that he had forgotten for a moment just how wrong he was for her. He knew he was being unfair to her by becoming the professor once more, but it was the only way he could protect her from himself.
His heart ached with having her so close all the time, and yet untouchable. He refused to bring her into his life, refused to taint her carefully preserved innocence with his dark past. As much as he longed to stroke her hair from her face, press his lips to hers, he knew he mustn't, because to do so would be to corrupt her. So he replaced his mask, and retreated behind the cold arrogant git that had kept her hatred of him alive for six years.
Hermione could feel his eyes on her, letting herself enjoy the sensation of being watched by the one she loved. Distracted by this, her hand caught the cauldron rim, tipping the delicately balanced piece of equipment over, and spilling the contents across the worktop. She raised her hands to protect her face as the potion began to spit.
A hand grasped the back of her robes and yanked her to safety. Snape stepped past her, clearing the mess with his wand, and fighting the anger that boiled inside him for such a stupid mistake.
'Miss Granger, in all the years I have known you, never have I seen you make such an idiotic mistake,' he snapped, ignoring the tears that were threatening to spill from her eyes. 'Go to the Hospital Wing, and I'll see you tomorrow, when hopefully your attention will be on work!'
Hermione turned and ran from the room, fighting the tears that streamed down her face. Snape watched her go, ashamed of his behaviour. He knew if he'd not been treating her so badly, she would not have upset the cauldron. He drew in a deep breath, and returned to repairing the damage to the worktop, resolving to find her when he was done.
When he reached the Hospital Wing and enquired after her, Madame Pomfrey gave him a strange look, denying that she had seen Hermione that day.
'She's not been up here today, Severus,' she told him, sending a fourth-year off with instructions not to be so stupid next time. 'What's happened?'
Reluctant to admit his shameful behaviour, Snape shrugged.
'She's not in her chambers, and I wanted to speak with her about her research,' he lied, turning to leave swiftly. Cursing himself, he made his way to her chambers, only to discover that his lie was the truth. Hermione was nowhere to be found.
*~*~*
Later that evening, Snape was pacing his private room in agitation when a furious Ronald Weasley stumbled from his fireplace, spluttering in anger.
'Mr Weasley, how good of you not to ask to visit,' he said irritably.
Ron shook a finger under his nose.
'Shut up,' he said abruptly, 'and sit down. We need to talk.'
Rather than argue - he knew the Weasley temperament well - Snape sat, fairly certain that he knew why the redhead was there. Ron glared down at him.
'You have got to start treating Hermione better, Professor,' he said, spitting the title with distaste. 'I don't know what you've done, but I've just spent the last four hours with her sobbing on me, and not able to get one single coherent word out of her!'
Snape opened his mouth to reply, cut off by Ron's finger under his nose again.
'I'm not finished. You know how bad Hermione's year has been, you know how hard she took what she had to do, and how brave she's been to keep going,' he listed, his face flushed with anger. 'I think the least you could do is treat her with a little respect, may be even understanding. I know for a fact that Hermione thinks very highly of you, and your opinion means a lot to her. She's spent the last few months trying to convince me that you're not such a bad person, and I almost believed her. And then you reduce her to tears, shred her self-confidence and she's back where she started. You're a nasty, arrogant, heartless bastard, Snape, and I swear, if you hurt Hermione again, I'll give you a beating you'll never forget!'
Snape watched as this tirade wound to a close, feeling inordinately guilty for upsetting Hermione and dragging Ron into their problems.
'Finished?' he asked quietly, not a trace of his usual sarcasm evident.
Ron glared for a moment before nodding.
'Yes,' he said, throwing himself into a chair opposite his former Potions professor.
'As you are well aware, I do respect Miss Granger's fortitude and endurance, and am not at all proud of myself for upsetting her,' he began, then stopped, wondering if he could admit to her best friend what he couldn't to her.
He stood, and moved to the fireplace, gazing into the flames to hide his pain and shock at the damage his hasty words had done. Ron watched him suspiciously, still slightly afraid of the forbidding man before him. Snape sighed.
'I assure you, I deeply regret my words to her this afternoon,' he said softly. 'I had intended to put it straight when I'd tidied up in the workroom, but by then she had left the building, and I couldn't find her. I have behaved appallingly towards Hermione in the past few weeks, and I am very sorry for it. However, I do not appreciate your coming here without the full facts and presuming to know what's going on!'
Ron winced at the harsh words, knowing that he had gone too far. Snape turned back to the fire, steeling himself for what he was about to say.
'I would ask you, Mr Weasley, that none of what I say here goes any further.'
Ron nodded slowly, perceptive enough to realise that this was a delicate situation.
'Alright, Professor.'
Still facing the flames, Snape swallowed, forcing the words out.
'I love Hermione, and I have no wish to drag her into my life, which, needless to say, has not been the most pure. I'm sure you will be aware that, a few weeks ago, I almost kissed her, saved only by the timely arrival of the Headmaster. I do not want to see Hermione destroyed by me, and indifference is the only way I can ensure it doesn't happen. My reaction today was due to the fact that she could have been hurt, and I was worried for her. That, Mr Weasley, is the truth, pure and simple.'
Ron was speechless. Snape loved Hermione? He could see why the Potions Master would want to protect her, the same way Ron himself would. He stood, braving the glare to place a hand on Snape's shoulder.
'I understand, Professor,' he said quietly. 'But Hermione's a big girl now, and she can make her own decisions. She's faced the worst and come out of it. What makes you think she needs protecting? Let her decide what's best for Hermione. I know I have, and it was the hardest decision I've ever had to make. But it was the best I could. You should try it, sir.'
He produced a handful of Floo powder from his pocket and threw it into the fire. Snape's hand shot out, preventing him from stepping into the flames.
'Where is Hermione now?' he asked.
Ron snorted.
'Mum's fussing over her,' he said, amused. 'Look, you two need some time apart, so we'll keep her with us over the weekend, alright? Just you think about what I said. It might work.'
Snape nodded slowly, releasing Ron's arm and letting the young man step into the green fire.
'Thank you,' he said quietly, as Ron disappeared.
For a long while, he gazed at the flames, wondering if Hermione's friend was right.
*~*~*
Parvati squealed with delight, almost pouncing on a swatch of crushed velvet.
'Hermione, you'd look stunning in this!'
Hermione and Lavender exchanged a weary sigh and moved to stand beside their friend as she enthused over the rich cloth. They'd been dragged into London to be measured for the wedding dresses, and now Parvati was exclaiming over material in an effort to decide what colour her bridesmaids should wear.
Lavender hid a yawn, grinning as Hermione found herself beset by dressmakers, holding the blood-red material against her and making comments on her colouring and shape. Hermione gave her a good-natured scowl, knowing that Parvati hadn't yet found a material for her other bridesmaid's dress to be made up in.
Finally, after going on six hours of wandering the aisles of the haberdashery, Parvati made her decisions and paid for the dresses, which would be made up and sent to the Burrow when they were ready. She and Ron had already decided to be married in his back garden, an arrangement Molly Weasley had found highly amusing.
Seeing how tired her friends were, Parvati was all apologies, and insisted on taking them to dinner, ushering them into the Leaky Cauldron with as much enthusiasm as she'd had when shopping. As they sat down, Hermione became immediately aware of a certain Potions Master sitting a couple of tables away.
Snape had noticed the girls as soon as they'd come in, feeling his heart leap at seeing Hermione again. She looked weary but happy, glancing around at the other tables as she sat down. Her eyes locked with his and he nodded pleasantly to her, a slight smile quirking at his lips. Hesitantly she smiled back, returning his nod before Lavender Brown captured her attention once again.
He felt himself relax, she wasn't the type to hold a grudge. He was himself in London to stock up on supplies, and to investigate a new potion's warehouse that had opened near Gringotts in Gnorm Alley. It had turned out not to be worth the effort, a disappointment, to say the least. But he was glad he had made the effort, simply for the pleasure of seeing Hermione again.
He glanced up, and was pleased to see her laughing with her friends, an amused smile lighting her face. It had been too long since he'd heard her laughter, or seen her smile turned on him. He'd thought long and hard about what Ron had told him, recognising the wisdom in his words. Hermione was old enough to make her own decisions, and it was about time he let her. If she didn't want him, so be it, but until she told him so, to his face, he reserved the right to hope for what he didn't deserve.
*~*~*
The day of the wedding had finally arrived. Hermione had Floo'd to the Burrow just in time to prevent a rather phenomenal case of nerves from prompting Parvati to run for her life. After consulting with Charlie and finding out that Ron was in exactly the same way, she'd sent Ginny to Hogwarts with a request for some sort of calming potion from Snape, who had obliged. The two of them were now very serene, and everything was moving along calmly once more.
The dresses had been brought out and put on, the girls exclaiming over how beautiful each other looked, and especially over Parvati. She was the picture of beauty, from her shining hair piled up under a soft veil, to the white gown that hugged every curve, and her delicate satin slippers. As last minute adjustments were made, noises from the kitchen downstairs announced the arrivals of the first guests.
Ron was waiting in the garden with his brothers, trying to ignore the teasing, secure in the knowledge that he was the first one of them to actually take the plunge and get married. The garden had been de-gnomed, Hermione sending Crookshanks over the night before to help, since the ginger tom adored chasing the knobbly creatures.
Friends and family gathered together, forming a wide circle around the anxious groom. Ron swallowed nervously as his brothers moved away to form a pentacle around him, inside the circle, with Padma, Parvati's sister. Between them stood those who had been asked to bless the pair as they began their life together.
The hush that fell over the garden as Parvati ventured out into the spring sunshine was awe-inspiring. Hermione later swore that she'd never seen Ron's jaw drop quite so low in all her life. Taking her place between Gred and Forge - they were wearing identical robes, so not even their mother could tell them apart - she had a wonderful view of her two friends as they made their commitment.
A wizard's wedding is not an intricate ceremony performed by a priest, but simply an exchange of vows spoken by the couple to one another in front of witnesses. The family gives their blessing to the pair, and a ring is given to the bride as a sign of never-ending love.
Hermione could see Ron shaking as he took Parvati's hands in his. He winked at her, his blue eyes twinkling like Dumbledore's.
'Parvati,' he said, his voice shaking. 'There's nothing I can say that could possibly express how happy you made me the day you agreed to be my wife. It even rivals the day I made Beater for the Quidditch team.'
There was scattered laughter amongst those gathered around them.
'Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is, I love you, Parvati, and I want you beside me forever.'
Blushing, Parvati drew in a deep breath, smiling up into her lover's eyes.
'No one would ever have guessed we'd end up together, would they? But we have, and I have so much to be thankful for. Ron, you've taught me so much, and I still have lots more to learn. I want us to be like Dumbledore and McGonagall, because I love you with my heart and soul.'
Eyes glowing with deep love, Ron leant down and kissed her, holding her close as their families came forward.
'Together we stand to lay our blessing on the union of Ron and Parvati, and wish them joy in their lives together. By Merlin, and Avalon, they are united.'
Tears shone in Parvati's eyes as Ron slipped a simple gold band on her finger, pulling her close for the kiss that would seal their union before all present. The Burrow echoed with applause, friends and family rising to greet the new couple as they made their way into the house, together.
*~*~*
That was a long one, wasn't it? Anyway, only one more chapter to go! Will they get together, or will Hermione have changed the future forever? To find out, click on the little blue button and review! Make me believe that you really need to know!