Author's Note: This chapter is for someone I can't believe I have neglected to dedicate a chapter to. It was his birthday ("coming home day") only recently and I still remember the day I brought him home or fragments of it vividly. He was in an enclosure and reached his arm out to touch me. It was simple, charming. It was unique, and then I learned his first name and I knew he was mine. He was perfect. His name was perfect (I had been scouring name books to find the perfect meaningful name!) The other choice was "Ivan" one pen above him (now that would have been interesting given my current Russian interests), but I knew in my heart that when his slim white hand pressed mine I couldn't leave him there. He reached out and saved himself. Maybe he just decided I was the one, maybe some part of him knew. I remember singing, "hush little baby" and telling him I would always take care of him. His hands and yes feet are just so beautiful- he likes to hold hands, and we sing the Beatles "I wanna hold your hand..." out of tune and order, but he thinks my voice is lovely and he smiles (yes he does). The way his hair smells. I love his beautiful green eyes. I like his voice and would recognize it among others. He has important things to say. He tucks his tail between his legs in sleep. Or sometimes rests his hand under his chin. He says "hummf". He really really likes cheese (all kinds gruyere, edna, havarti, sharp packed cheddar..and "like" is understatement). He knows everything you say to him. He has dimples. He is funny. He bites a lot, but only family. The has a odd habit of holding onto your leg, when together in bed we sleep. This chapter, this whole story is dedicated to one above all others (even maybe above Eric Stoltz and Mr.D!!). It is for Sprout, love always.....me.
Chapter title is inspired by Acting Out episode. And it's a short chapter (but hey it is dedicted to a short little guy :) Mom's little Martian tabby.
"The mime speaks, baby." L.F, line from a HAIKU FOR MR. DIMITRI.
HAND OVER MOUTH
It can be really weird the way that people are always surprising you. Mrs. Gonzalez was one of those people. She was resourceful, insightful and gracious. And yes she knew. It wasn't the type of secret that remained a secret long. But Mrs. Gonzalez remembered Grace from the meeting concerning the gay/straight alliance. She had admired the girl for her poise, her honesty and her decisive voice. Someone once told Grace in a locker room that her voice was unusual and that made her feel self conscious. They said about her speaking, that when she said something it just seemed "right", like that's the way things were. That's a rather double edged compliment to receive. But Mrs. Gonzalez was not privy to the locker room and instead based her assessment on a proposal she had once been given. Even if the words Grace said were simple, easily grasped. They held something that wasn't so easily grasped if ever held at all. The wounded speaking out to save another.
It had been a jolt to Mrs. Gonzalez to hear the rumors in the school at the time. But she was one of the few who never made jokes or passed judgement on him. And when she passed Grace in the halls following she always mildly wondered. Even in her, all be it brief, meeting with Grace she could understand that if these two had done anything it would have been as equals. She thought about the way Dimitri had blinked when Grace went hurriedly past him through the doorway. She remembered his voice calling, "Grace!" And more so she was the one to take down the remaining signs for the alliance meetings after he had left. Brooker had told her what Grace had said at the meeting, of course she had had to ask. That they "didn't want to hear what she had to say". That was not quite true, they did. But not for the reasons that they should have maybe. It was rather like something she had read in a magazine of late if she could have quoted it. Gonzo thought of gossip. The grapevine. California raisins dancing in a row. Thought was funny.
The article had included an argument for the healing power of gossip. That it could have a higher purpose. A Canadian philosopher de Sousa called it, "A saintly virtue" as the piece pursued the idea that, "Gossip allows us to exchange truths that might otherwise remain hidden, painting a truer picture of what it is to be human." That society if it never overflowed with talk would be a very different place, one that was polite and untruth. And no one would know, if no one spoke. It was an interesting point. Mrs. Gonzalez felt about being privy to the details of Grace and Dimitri's story she was given something rare. She was given a moment of something that could not be described.
"So you're coming back aren't you? To Upton." , Gonzo asked Dimitri over hot drinks at the counter in Booklovers.
Dimitri's eyes looked to Grace then back, "I've considered it yes." He had a lot of things he still wanted to discuss but not here and not yet. He leaned his back against the counter and turned to face the both of them.
"That's great!"
"But it's in no means decided yet. Don't quote me or anything", August looked upward with expression. He eased his elbow onto the bar, his long dark grey coat opening, his striped tie beneath.
"I won't , but August it would be wonderful. And Grace is graduating next term anyway. You know you want this. If you started next fall-"
"But what would people say?", Grace asked. And they all realized what was really being said.
"People have been asking for that since last spring," Mrs. Gonzalez said in plain verse. "It's never been a question about that. Going to a movie? I don't think it really mattered to that many people. I know the student body in general have forgotten about it now. It's folk lore if anything, that's the way "the date" is infamous. But did it really matter to anyone? Well I doubt it did in a lingering way."
"You don't think anyone cared?"
"I'm being honest here with you Grace. A few cared. You and August cared. But in the general sense of everyone that was around then. It didn't really stay with most people the way it did with you guys. And that's fortunate and right. You wouldn't want everyone to know about it would you?"
"But it was horrible, and in a way they should know. If only-"
"If only it could have been made to change something? Well it did for you personally, and isn't that enough-"
Dimitri had let Grace and Mrs. Gonzalez hash it out, but it was a song all about him. So August gave his point of view. "What exactly is enough. And who decides? Isn't that the real question in it all. Who decides. Is it you or a greater poll-"
Mrs. Gonzalez more quietly, "The thing is August, you are welcome to come back. It's really all I wanted you to know. And I was glad to see you back in town today. I was glad to see you weren't alone."
"Does it matter that much if I come back?", he asked because it was something he truly was seeking an answer to.
"I think it does. " Mrs. Gonzalez got up to leave.
Dimitri incredulous, "I could be teaching Jessie next term."
"You could be. But you decide. Okay?"
"Fair," he said.
Grace's cell phone rang. She had been given one by her dad when she started spending so much time with friends over the summer. She opened up her bag and fumbled to press the button.
"Hello."
"Hey sweetheart."
August overheard the male voice saying sweetheart and a comical expression overcame him. Just who was calling her? Grace gave a pre-occupied shrug and put her hand over the receiver, mouthing the words "my dad." August thought she said "it's Tad".
August half smiled and stepped back to look at a display rack of magazines.
"So guess where I am?", Jake asked.
~~"I told him of as good as he; so he laughed and let me go. But what talk we of fathers, when there is such a man as Orlando?"
Chapter title is inspired by Acting Out episode. And it's a short chapter (but hey it is dedicted to a short little guy :) Mom's little Martian tabby.
"The mime speaks, baby." L.F, line from a HAIKU FOR MR. DIMITRI.
HAND OVER MOUTH
It can be really weird the way that people are always surprising you. Mrs. Gonzalez was one of those people. She was resourceful, insightful and gracious. And yes she knew. It wasn't the type of secret that remained a secret long. But Mrs. Gonzalez remembered Grace from the meeting concerning the gay/straight alliance. She had admired the girl for her poise, her honesty and her decisive voice. Someone once told Grace in a locker room that her voice was unusual and that made her feel self conscious. They said about her speaking, that when she said something it just seemed "right", like that's the way things were. That's a rather double edged compliment to receive. But Mrs. Gonzalez was not privy to the locker room and instead based her assessment on a proposal she had once been given. Even if the words Grace said were simple, easily grasped. They held something that wasn't so easily grasped if ever held at all. The wounded speaking out to save another.
It had been a jolt to Mrs. Gonzalez to hear the rumors in the school at the time. But she was one of the few who never made jokes or passed judgement on him. And when she passed Grace in the halls following she always mildly wondered. Even in her, all be it brief, meeting with Grace she could understand that if these two had done anything it would have been as equals. She thought about the way Dimitri had blinked when Grace went hurriedly past him through the doorway. She remembered his voice calling, "Grace!" And more so she was the one to take down the remaining signs for the alliance meetings after he had left. Brooker had told her what Grace had said at the meeting, of course she had had to ask. That they "didn't want to hear what she had to say". That was not quite true, they did. But not for the reasons that they should have maybe. It was rather like something she had read in a magazine of late if she could have quoted it. Gonzo thought of gossip. The grapevine. California raisins dancing in a row. Thought was funny.
The article had included an argument for the healing power of gossip. That it could have a higher purpose. A Canadian philosopher de Sousa called it, "A saintly virtue" as the piece pursued the idea that, "Gossip allows us to exchange truths that might otherwise remain hidden, painting a truer picture of what it is to be human." That society if it never overflowed with talk would be a very different place, one that was polite and untruth. And no one would know, if no one spoke. It was an interesting point. Mrs. Gonzalez felt about being privy to the details of Grace and Dimitri's story she was given something rare. She was given a moment of something that could not be described.
"So you're coming back aren't you? To Upton." , Gonzo asked Dimitri over hot drinks at the counter in Booklovers.
Dimitri's eyes looked to Grace then back, "I've considered it yes." He had a lot of things he still wanted to discuss but not here and not yet. He leaned his back against the counter and turned to face the both of them.
"That's great!"
"But it's in no means decided yet. Don't quote me or anything", August looked upward with expression. He eased his elbow onto the bar, his long dark grey coat opening, his striped tie beneath.
"I won't , but August it would be wonderful. And Grace is graduating next term anyway. You know you want this. If you started next fall-"
"But what would people say?", Grace asked. And they all realized what was really being said.
"People have been asking for that since last spring," Mrs. Gonzalez said in plain verse. "It's never been a question about that. Going to a movie? I don't think it really mattered to that many people. I know the student body in general have forgotten about it now. It's folk lore if anything, that's the way "the date" is infamous. But did it really matter to anyone? Well I doubt it did in a lingering way."
"You don't think anyone cared?"
"I'm being honest here with you Grace. A few cared. You and August cared. But in the general sense of everyone that was around then. It didn't really stay with most people the way it did with you guys. And that's fortunate and right. You wouldn't want everyone to know about it would you?"
"But it was horrible, and in a way they should know. If only-"
"If only it could have been made to change something? Well it did for you personally, and isn't that enough-"
Dimitri had let Grace and Mrs. Gonzalez hash it out, but it was a song all about him. So August gave his point of view. "What exactly is enough. And who decides? Isn't that the real question in it all. Who decides. Is it you or a greater poll-"
Mrs. Gonzalez more quietly, "The thing is August, you are welcome to come back. It's really all I wanted you to know. And I was glad to see you back in town today. I was glad to see you weren't alone."
"Does it matter that much if I come back?", he asked because it was something he truly was seeking an answer to.
"I think it does. " Mrs. Gonzalez got up to leave.
Dimitri incredulous, "I could be teaching Jessie next term."
"You could be. But you decide. Okay?"
"Fair," he said.
Grace's cell phone rang. She had been given one by her dad when she started spending so much time with friends over the summer. She opened up her bag and fumbled to press the button.
"Hello."
"Hey sweetheart."
August overheard the male voice saying sweetheart and a comical expression overcame him. Just who was calling her? Grace gave a pre-occupied shrug and put her hand over the receiver, mouthing the words "my dad." August thought she said "it's Tad".
August half smiled and stepped back to look at a display rack of magazines.
"So guess where I am?", Jake asked.
~~"I told him of as good as he; so he laughed and let me go. But what talk we of fathers, when there is such a man as Orlando?"