"Yes he said. Sadly enough that's the case. In that case I said I got up to go we could hear them getting nervous outside I want to tell you that you always rated one hundred in my book. Oh God you said like you were going to cry but you put your hand on top my head like I was a teapot you led me outside."
'Schooling' by Heather McGowan
JUST FINISHING SOMETHING
Grace closed the door behind her and moved daze like towards the hooks on the wall. She hung up her longer black coat and her scarf. Her left hand seemed immensely conspicuous to her with the ring wrapped around it. August's ring. But the kitchen was a perfect place to disguise conspicuous hands in a way, so many counters and appliances. And dish towels. Lily was drinking something and looking over papers at the table, and Grace wanted to run to her. She wanted to hug her and tell her. She wanted to cry because August had asked her to be his wife. And she was almost eighteen, truly almost there. And she had said yes. And August had kissed her like he was not about to ever let her go, safe, sweet, comfortable and inexplicably hers. Yet edgy and passionate too. Nothing had ever been more beautiful. Not the day she asked to taste his wine, not their first kiss, not even when he told her he had chosen, he'd chosen her and that she was "perfect for this". Or when he's cried out "Wait" as she had retreated. Maybe the moment where he stood up from his stool after the play, his play, her play, their hands precariously bound maybe, just maybe that instant came close. If a parallel is needed. A comparison. Which John Donne poem the proposal would compare too is debatable though.
"Hi sweetie -" , Lily looked up and noticed Grace looked startled. "Mom!" And because Grace couldn't help and she didn't want to have to help it. It wasn't like this was the most shocking thing that had ever happened in their lives. Grace leaned against the counter for support.
"Mom- I --"
"Grace are you okay?", Lily started to get up but something instinctively told her maybe not to, because maybe she would need to be sitting for this. Lily couldn't breathe. She felt herself grasping for air willing it into her because she needed to know what Grace looked so scared about. Grace smiled at her. Grace smiling so much it hurt.
"Mom. I'm getting married. August and I -" , but her mother cut her off.
"Oh my God."
Lily looked at Grace and her expectant expression, like the lost little girl Lily looked for everywhere some days. The girl she had always believed to be okay. To be more okay than most adults could hope to be. This beautiful creation was telling her she was going to marry her mentor. A teacher practically twice her age, who also wrote. He wrote things to her. And that Grace believed would one day write them for everyone to see. In the heartbeats that passed in the moments since the word "married" formed Lily was happy, she was, because she knew that Mr.Dimitri truly did love her Grace. And she genuinely liked him despite her wanting to not. And that was nobody's fault. But he was still Mr.Dimitri to Lily. The mentor who took her daughter to japanese movies, gave her Chekhov and one day would -- Would maybe be outgrown. Because that's what being a protege meant- one day the mentor wasn't there anymore. Couldn't be there, but you were okay because you were given really rare and valuable lessons. Lily got up and rushed, the slow motion feeling like a rush, to hold Grace.
Grace smiled as she let her mother hold her. Lily broke off the exchange and standing close asked , "Can I see it. I mean I assume you got a ring--?"
"Of course." Grace offered her hand for inspection. She looked at her mother who was taking in her ring. Grace felt she needed to offer something, a reassurance. "August thought it would be best if we waited a bit though." Grace looked off to the side. "He wants me to finish my school, college and everything. He just, I mean-- he knew that I wanted something like this--"
Lily stepped back, "Of course he knew that." Because he always did seem to know her daughter, her Grace.
Grace still looked expectant. So Lily continued, "Everyone is going to be floored."
Grace laughed, "I know. I can't wait. If only I could convince him to make it sooner. And I sort of think it's doable--", Grace went on looking blissful.
Lily suddenly realized something, "But I'm really surprised he didn't come here with you to tell everybody--"
Grace nodded, "But it just seems better this way, much more-- you know, intimate and everything."
Lily arched her eyebrows. "Intimate--" . She let the word trail off getting lost.
Lily also added because she felt thankfulness in part, "It is smart though-- to wait. Just better all around really--"
Grace frowned slightly making a crease appear on her brow. It sort of furrowed.
Grace started to move towards the doorway, she wanted to see if anyone else was still up. It was practically 11pm on a weekday but chances were Jessie or Eli where somewhere lurking. And even Rick. And she really wanted to see Zoe. Zoe was going to make a gorgeous bridesmaid. Grace couldn't even phantom that she had school the next day, or how a person who had just been proposed marriage by a person like August Dimitri could go to school and sit in various chairs, and watch all these other people. The Alexas, The Katies, The Russells and Tads , and be there too. Grace smiled. And it seemed like something was carrying her to something very important, and it seemed like there should be background music. And it seems like it could almost be "Angela Smiled" by W.G Snuffy Walden and it seemed instrumental was somehow enough as a background. You don't always need a boombox. A time and place for everyone and everything. If they only knew, right? Is it the "circle of life"? I dunno. Grace said, "I'm going to tell Eli" , and elated she moved off toward the garage entranceway. She reached in her hoodie pocket, feeling for than holding a slip of paper. A poem from August. A beautiful poem.
As Grace left the kitchen she looked over her shoulder to her mother who was heading towards the table a picking up her drink, taking a sip. "Oh and mom. I know a perfect song to play at our reception. It's great, really moving. It's by "the Police"--"
Lily nearly chocked on her drink. As Grace continued, "I think it's called "Wrapped around your finger". Grace paused and looked at Lily. Distracted with other thoughts, Grace added ,"Well maybe. Or the DJ could just pick stuff". Lily smiled reassuringly back at Grace as Grace left the room. She clutched her chest because she had thought Grace was going to say another song and Lily started to laugh bringing her hands to her cheeks. Resolutely she left her books, her papers, her drink and went to find Rick.
Eli was strumming his guitar and playing. An old song.
~~"If it's lost, forget it found, it's me
a vagabond with no address
fire in the wilderness
patience losing consciousness rapidly
torn between what I can't see
this picture you have of me
Isn't much to look at we agree
this light
this rain
this life
this pain
Let me walk down that road, cause you know I have to go
You won't be there but even so everyone goes down that road
And you know I have to go."~~
Grace was brought up short. "I always liked that song."
Eli stopped playing and looked up. He smiled, sadly in a way, because:
"I know you did-- "
"I gave you the 'patience' didn't I? I don't even remember--"
*****************************
"I'm always running behind the times
just like this train
shaking into town while the brakes complain
I used to count lovers like railroad cars
I counted them on my side
Lately I don't count on nothing
I just let things slide
The station master shut the cars, box cars are fading in the yard.
Jealous lover will make you crazy
If you can't find your goodness cause you lost your heart
I went looking for a cause
or a strong cat without claws
or any reason to resume
And I found this empty seat in this crowded waiting room"
Joni Mitchell
hmmm read it more than once, once and again in fact. There is a message :D Maybe a message about "Nothing". Hmm. Maybe. If Eli fans are half as dedicated as G/D fans I think you may understand the "nothing" reference or do I mean just not really "anything", (shucks I gave it all away, didn't I?)
'Schooling' by Heather McGowan
JUST FINISHING SOMETHING
Grace closed the door behind her and moved daze like towards the hooks on the wall. She hung up her longer black coat and her scarf. Her left hand seemed immensely conspicuous to her with the ring wrapped around it. August's ring. But the kitchen was a perfect place to disguise conspicuous hands in a way, so many counters and appliances. And dish towels. Lily was drinking something and looking over papers at the table, and Grace wanted to run to her. She wanted to hug her and tell her. She wanted to cry because August had asked her to be his wife. And she was almost eighteen, truly almost there. And she had said yes. And August had kissed her like he was not about to ever let her go, safe, sweet, comfortable and inexplicably hers. Yet edgy and passionate too. Nothing had ever been more beautiful. Not the day she asked to taste his wine, not their first kiss, not even when he told her he had chosen, he'd chosen her and that she was "perfect for this". Or when he's cried out "Wait" as she had retreated. Maybe the moment where he stood up from his stool after the play, his play, her play, their hands precariously bound maybe, just maybe that instant came close. If a parallel is needed. A comparison. Which John Donne poem the proposal would compare too is debatable though.
"Hi sweetie -" , Lily looked up and noticed Grace looked startled. "Mom!" And because Grace couldn't help and she didn't want to have to help it. It wasn't like this was the most shocking thing that had ever happened in their lives. Grace leaned against the counter for support.
"Mom- I --"
"Grace are you okay?", Lily started to get up but something instinctively told her maybe not to, because maybe she would need to be sitting for this. Lily couldn't breathe. She felt herself grasping for air willing it into her because she needed to know what Grace looked so scared about. Grace smiled at her. Grace smiling so much it hurt.
"Mom. I'm getting married. August and I -" , but her mother cut her off.
"Oh my God."
Lily looked at Grace and her expectant expression, like the lost little girl Lily looked for everywhere some days. The girl she had always believed to be okay. To be more okay than most adults could hope to be. This beautiful creation was telling her she was going to marry her mentor. A teacher practically twice her age, who also wrote. He wrote things to her. And that Grace believed would one day write them for everyone to see. In the heartbeats that passed in the moments since the word "married" formed Lily was happy, she was, because she knew that Mr.Dimitri truly did love her Grace. And she genuinely liked him despite her wanting to not. And that was nobody's fault. But he was still Mr.Dimitri to Lily. The mentor who took her daughter to japanese movies, gave her Chekhov and one day would -- Would maybe be outgrown. Because that's what being a protege meant- one day the mentor wasn't there anymore. Couldn't be there, but you were okay because you were given really rare and valuable lessons. Lily got up and rushed, the slow motion feeling like a rush, to hold Grace.
Grace smiled as she let her mother hold her. Lily broke off the exchange and standing close asked , "Can I see it. I mean I assume you got a ring--?"
"Of course." Grace offered her hand for inspection. She looked at her mother who was taking in her ring. Grace felt she needed to offer something, a reassurance. "August thought it would be best if we waited a bit though." Grace looked off to the side. "He wants me to finish my school, college and everything. He just, I mean-- he knew that I wanted something like this--"
Lily stepped back, "Of course he knew that." Because he always did seem to know her daughter, her Grace.
Grace still looked expectant. So Lily continued, "Everyone is going to be floored."
Grace laughed, "I know. I can't wait. If only I could convince him to make it sooner. And I sort of think it's doable--", Grace went on looking blissful.
Lily suddenly realized something, "But I'm really surprised he didn't come here with you to tell everybody--"
Grace nodded, "But it just seems better this way, much more-- you know, intimate and everything."
Lily arched her eyebrows. "Intimate--" . She let the word trail off getting lost.
Lily also added because she felt thankfulness in part, "It is smart though-- to wait. Just better all around really--"
Grace frowned slightly making a crease appear on her brow. It sort of furrowed.
Grace started to move towards the doorway, she wanted to see if anyone else was still up. It was practically 11pm on a weekday but chances were Jessie or Eli where somewhere lurking. And even Rick. And she really wanted to see Zoe. Zoe was going to make a gorgeous bridesmaid. Grace couldn't even phantom that she had school the next day, or how a person who had just been proposed marriage by a person like August Dimitri could go to school and sit in various chairs, and watch all these other people. The Alexas, The Katies, The Russells and Tads , and be there too. Grace smiled. And it seemed like something was carrying her to something very important, and it seemed like there should be background music. And it seems like it could almost be "Angela Smiled" by W.G Snuffy Walden and it seemed instrumental was somehow enough as a background. You don't always need a boombox. A time and place for everyone and everything. If they only knew, right? Is it the "circle of life"? I dunno. Grace said, "I'm going to tell Eli" , and elated she moved off toward the garage entranceway. She reached in her hoodie pocket, feeling for than holding a slip of paper. A poem from August. A beautiful poem.
As Grace left the kitchen she looked over her shoulder to her mother who was heading towards the table a picking up her drink, taking a sip. "Oh and mom. I know a perfect song to play at our reception. It's great, really moving. It's by "the Police"--"
Lily nearly chocked on her drink. As Grace continued, "I think it's called "Wrapped around your finger". Grace paused and looked at Lily. Distracted with other thoughts, Grace added ,"Well maybe. Or the DJ could just pick stuff". Lily smiled reassuringly back at Grace as Grace left the room. She clutched her chest because she had thought Grace was going to say another song and Lily started to laugh bringing her hands to her cheeks. Resolutely she left her books, her papers, her drink and went to find Rick.
Eli was strumming his guitar and playing. An old song.
~~"If it's lost, forget it found, it's me
a vagabond with no address
fire in the wilderness
patience losing consciousness rapidly
torn between what I can't see
this picture you have of me
Isn't much to look at we agree
this light
this rain
this life
this pain
Let me walk down that road, cause you know I have to go
You won't be there but even so everyone goes down that road
And you know I have to go."~~
Grace was brought up short. "I always liked that song."
Eli stopped playing and looked up. He smiled, sadly in a way, because:
"I know you did-- "
"I gave you the 'patience' didn't I? I don't even remember--"
*****************************
"I'm always running behind the times
just like this train
shaking into town while the brakes complain
I used to count lovers like railroad cars
I counted them on my side
Lately I don't count on nothing
I just let things slide
The station master shut the cars, box cars are fading in the yard.
Jealous lover will make you crazy
If you can't find your goodness cause you lost your heart
I went looking for a cause
or a strong cat without claws
or any reason to resume
And I found this empty seat in this crowded waiting room"
Joni Mitchell
hmmm read it more than once, once and again in fact. There is a message :D Maybe a message about "Nothing". Hmm. Maybe. If Eli fans are half as dedicated as G/D fans I think you may understand the "nothing" reference or do I mean just not really "anything", (shucks I gave it all away, didn't I?)