Disclaimer: I don't own the WWE or its wrestlers. All I really own is this
Dashboard Confessional CD and myself. Oh well.
Please review!!! I update fast for you guys! I like reviews!! But I'm a little afraid of flames, as you can see in this next chapter.
[Kane is outside in Kylrane's backyard, wearing a red apron that says "Hell of a Cook" over his huge winter coat. He's barbecuing some steaks. In the winter. When the windchill makes it feel like it's 8 degrees farenheit.]
Kylrane: [from the window] You don't have to grill food for me, you know, our stove works fine!!
Kane: It's ok! I'm chillin and grillin! This is good!
Kylrane: [a little weirded out] Ok...hey, can you make that rock go on fire?? [points to a medium sized rock by the driveway]
Kane: Ah, hell, why not? [He does a hand motion towards the rock. A lighting bolt comes down and ignites the rock.]
Kylrane: [excited. She likes fire.] SWEET!! [The flame bursts into a bigger fire.] AHHH! Put it out, put it out!!!!
Kane: [does another hand motion. The fire is gone.] Do you want your steak medium, rare, or well done?
Kylrane: [really weirded out] Eh...medium. Can you teach me how to start fires?
Kane: Nope. Born with it.
Kylrane: Damn. Well, when you take me to school, can you like set some kid's bookbag on fire, he's such a jerk...
Kane: No. That would be arson, and you're a kid.
Kylrane: I'M NOT A KID!!!!
Kane: Fine, you're a....young lady. But you still can't do that to people, it's illegal. Trust me.
Kylrane: But you set the turnbuckles on fire at matches!
Kane: That's pyrotechnics. Special effects. Not really fire.
Kylrane: [really pissed] Vince McMahon LIED TO ME!!! ARGHH!!!! DAMNIT!!!
Kane: Hey, didn't you see the Raw when I set that guy on fire??
Kylrane: Uh...you set a guy on fire?!
[They have a really good dinner, and Kylrane's really happy it's not Beefaroni. He goes to sleep in the spare room on the first floor. Her room's on the second floor. At around 2:00AM someone's sneaking around the second floor.]
Unknown Person: [Tip toes through the center room. It's a wooden floor, so it's pretty quiet. He tries to make it through the hallway, but falls over a roller chair that's in the middle of the hall.] AUGH! DAMNIT!!!
Kylrane: [wakes up, groggy, and grabs her algebra textbook. She goes into the hall, sees a figure on the floor, and hurls the textbook at him. She then runs down the stairs.] KANE!!! KANE!!! HELP!! THERE'S A DUDE UP THERE!!!
Kane: [Wakes up, and walks steadily to the second floor. He's wearing flannel pajamas and is holding a teddy bear.] A dude? You mean a burglar? I'll kick his ass...[they head back upstairs and flick the lights on] Oh shit. You knocked him out.
Kylrane: See? Textbooks ARE too heavy nowadays. [kicks the guy on the floor] You bastard, what the hell are you doing sneaking around my house?!
Kane: [picks the guy up and takes off the ski mask] What the...? Raven??
Kylrane: Hang on, I'll get him awake. [She takes the textbook and whacks him across the face with it. He wakes up and is pissed.]
Raven: WHAT THE HELL?! WHAT DID I DO?!
Kane: You snuck into this kid's house, you idiot.
Kylrane: I'M NOT A KID!!!
Raven: Hey, I haven't gotten any real TV appearances except for Heat and I need to get some exposure!
Kylrane: HOW THE HELL IS SNEAKING INTO MY HOUSE GONNA GET YOU ON RAW?!
Raven: I dunno. Maybe Vince McMahon will see I have RUTHLESS AGGRESSION! Nobody notices Raven. No one cares when Raven has different tights, or when Raven gets a new tattoo! What about me?! What about Raven?!
Kane: How about I chokeslam your ass?! [gets Raven by the throat and gets ready to throw him down]
Kylrane: HEY! Do that downstairs, I can't afford to have scratches on the floor. I'll get in trouble again...
Kane: Well, ok. [Hurls Raven down the stairs. Kylrane can hear the front door open and Raven's body being dropped out.]
Kylrane: [starts to go back to her room. She trips over the same roller chair Raven fell over.] AUGH!! DAMNIT!!!
[The next day, Kane's walking around with his teddy bear and pajamas. He's making breakfast. Kylrane falls down the stairs, once again due to the roller chair, and is cursing.]
Kane: Pack up, kid.
Kylrane: I'M NOT A KID!!! AND WHY AM I PACKING?! [rubbing her head] ouchies....
Kane: I'm competing in the royal rumble. That means you've got to go too. And when we get there, you're getting a new babysitter.
Kylrane: But WHY?! You're the first competent caretaker I've had so far, and I'm gonna get dumped on someone again?!
Kane: Sorry. But I planning on winning the rumble. And when I win, I'll be in demand on Raw. Finally.
Kylrane: [all bitchy] Well then. Leave me here. And just so you know, now I'm going to root for Jeff Hardy to win even though he probably won't!!!
Kane: [in a shouting match] FINE!
Kylrane: FINE!
Kane: FINE!
Kylrane: FINE!
Kane: FI- hey, why do you say Hardy won't win?
Kylrane: Because in like every important match he's been in lately, he loses. Even if you're a fan, you've got to admit that.
Kane: Well, true. You'll be fine alone today?
Kylrane: I could probably call Vince McMahon and call him again for another sitter.
Kane: Again?
Kylrane: Yeah. And I've got your number too, thanks to a certain person's cell phone. So if I need anything, I'll be calling.
Kane: Aw damn. Well, I WILL win tonight! I WILL!
Kylrane: We'll see.
Kane: Damn right, you'll see.
Kylrane: FINE!
Kane: FINE!
Ah, Kane fighting with a fourteen year old. A kind of short fourteen year old, mind you. So, who will be the next victim-er, person to deal with Kylrane? Will Goldust ever realize Kylrane has his credit card? Will Kane win? Will Jeff lose? [gets hit by an unknown object] Hey! I think Jeff's cool, and I hope he wins because he never does, but you know what was said above is true!! EEE! Don't hurt me!! Review, please! Even if it wasn't good!
Please review!!! I update fast for you guys! I like reviews!! But I'm a little afraid of flames, as you can see in this next chapter.
[Kane is outside in Kylrane's backyard, wearing a red apron that says "Hell of a Cook" over his huge winter coat. He's barbecuing some steaks. In the winter. When the windchill makes it feel like it's 8 degrees farenheit.]
Kylrane: [from the window] You don't have to grill food for me, you know, our stove works fine!!
Kane: It's ok! I'm chillin and grillin! This is good!
Kylrane: [a little weirded out] Ok...hey, can you make that rock go on fire?? [points to a medium sized rock by the driveway]
Kane: Ah, hell, why not? [He does a hand motion towards the rock. A lighting bolt comes down and ignites the rock.]
Kylrane: [excited. She likes fire.] SWEET!! [The flame bursts into a bigger fire.] AHHH! Put it out, put it out!!!!
Kane: [does another hand motion. The fire is gone.] Do you want your steak medium, rare, or well done?
Kylrane: [really weirded out] Eh...medium. Can you teach me how to start fires?
Kane: Nope. Born with it.
Kylrane: Damn. Well, when you take me to school, can you like set some kid's bookbag on fire, he's such a jerk...
Kane: No. That would be arson, and you're a kid.
Kylrane: I'M NOT A KID!!!!
Kane: Fine, you're a....young lady. But you still can't do that to people, it's illegal. Trust me.
Kylrane: But you set the turnbuckles on fire at matches!
Kane: That's pyrotechnics. Special effects. Not really fire.
Kylrane: [really pissed] Vince McMahon LIED TO ME!!! ARGHH!!!! DAMNIT!!!
Kane: Hey, didn't you see the Raw when I set that guy on fire??
Kylrane: Uh...you set a guy on fire?!
[They have a really good dinner, and Kylrane's really happy it's not Beefaroni. He goes to sleep in the spare room on the first floor. Her room's on the second floor. At around 2:00AM someone's sneaking around the second floor.]
Unknown Person: [Tip toes through the center room. It's a wooden floor, so it's pretty quiet. He tries to make it through the hallway, but falls over a roller chair that's in the middle of the hall.] AUGH! DAMNIT!!!
Kylrane: [wakes up, groggy, and grabs her algebra textbook. She goes into the hall, sees a figure on the floor, and hurls the textbook at him. She then runs down the stairs.] KANE!!! KANE!!! HELP!! THERE'S A DUDE UP THERE!!!
Kane: [Wakes up, and walks steadily to the second floor. He's wearing flannel pajamas and is holding a teddy bear.] A dude? You mean a burglar? I'll kick his ass...[they head back upstairs and flick the lights on] Oh shit. You knocked him out.
Kylrane: See? Textbooks ARE too heavy nowadays. [kicks the guy on the floor] You bastard, what the hell are you doing sneaking around my house?!
Kane: [picks the guy up and takes off the ski mask] What the...? Raven??
Kylrane: Hang on, I'll get him awake. [She takes the textbook and whacks him across the face with it. He wakes up and is pissed.]
Raven: WHAT THE HELL?! WHAT DID I DO?!
Kane: You snuck into this kid's house, you idiot.
Kylrane: I'M NOT A KID!!!
Raven: Hey, I haven't gotten any real TV appearances except for Heat and I need to get some exposure!
Kylrane: HOW THE HELL IS SNEAKING INTO MY HOUSE GONNA GET YOU ON RAW?!
Raven: I dunno. Maybe Vince McMahon will see I have RUTHLESS AGGRESSION! Nobody notices Raven. No one cares when Raven has different tights, or when Raven gets a new tattoo! What about me?! What about Raven?!
Kane: How about I chokeslam your ass?! [gets Raven by the throat and gets ready to throw him down]
Kylrane: HEY! Do that downstairs, I can't afford to have scratches on the floor. I'll get in trouble again...
Kane: Well, ok. [Hurls Raven down the stairs. Kylrane can hear the front door open and Raven's body being dropped out.]
Kylrane: [starts to go back to her room. She trips over the same roller chair Raven fell over.] AUGH!! DAMNIT!!!
[The next day, Kane's walking around with his teddy bear and pajamas. He's making breakfast. Kylrane falls down the stairs, once again due to the roller chair, and is cursing.]
Kane: Pack up, kid.
Kylrane: I'M NOT A KID!!! AND WHY AM I PACKING?! [rubbing her head] ouchies....
Kane: I'm competing in the royal rumble. That means you've got to go too. And when we get there, you're getting a new babysitter.
Kylrane: But WHY?! You're the first competent caretaker I've had so far, and I'm gonna get dumped on someone again?!
Kane: Sorry. But I planning on winning the rumble. And when I win, I'll be in demand on Raw. Finally.
Kylrane: [all bitchy] Well then. Leave me here. And just so you know, now I'm going to root for Jeff Hardy to win even though he probably won't!!!
Kane: [in a shouting match] FINE!
Kylrane: FINE!
Kane: FINE!
Kylrane: FINE!
Kane: FI- hey, why do you say Hardy won't win?
Kylrane: Because in like every important match he's been in lately, he loses. Even if you're a fan, you've got to admit that.
Kane: Well, true. You'll be fine alone today?
Kylrane: I could probably call Vince McMahon and call him again for another sitter.
Kane: Again?
Kylrane: Yeah. And I've got your number too, thanks to a certain person's cell phone. So if I need anything, I'll be calling.
Kane: Aw damn. Well, I WILL win tonight! I WILL!
Kylrane: We'll see.
Kane: Damn right, you'll see.
Kylrane: FINE!
Kane: FINE!
Ah, Kane fighting with a fourteen year old. A kind of short fourteen year old, mind you. So, who will be the next victim-er, person to deal with Kylrane? Will Goldust ever realize Kylrane has his credit card? Will Kane win? Will Jeff lose? [gets hit by an unknown object] Hey! I think Jeff's cool, and I hope he wins because he never does, but you know what was said above is true!! EEE! Don't hurt me!! Review, please! Even if it wasn't good!