Disclaimer: Vince McMahon owns the WWE, not me!! I don't own Austin Powers,
or the company who did that ringtone (I think it was Motorola).
I really don't know volleyball too well. The version I play at school is the version in the story. Sorry if it doesn't make sense. Yes, I did get into a headlock. [Roo: I'm SORRY!!!]
I should be getting around to that question, but I've got so many people lined up in my head to endure the torture...er, well...I can't think of a better word....of watching Kylrane (it's strange referring to yourself in the third person after speaking in the first). Ah, oh well.
[Kylrane is sitting in the passenger seat of Jeff Hardy's ...erm, I don't exactly know what car he's got. Lets say its a Mercedes Benz. Anyway, she's sitting there and a phone rings. Jeff reaches for his, but Kylrane doesn't move.]
Jeff: [Puts on the earphone. Hey, it's illegal to hold your cell phone while driving in New York. You have to have a hands free thing.] Hello? Oh! Good morning, Mr. McMahon! [Glances at Kylrane and gulps] Yes, I...yes, I know they left...erm...well, I'm driving her to school. Eh...what?? Are you...yes, yes, ok!! [hands the earphone to Kylrane]
Kylrane: [Takes the earphone from Jeff] Hello??
Vince: [irate] YOU'VE KIDNAPPED ONE OF MY WRESTLERS!!!
Kylrane: [Holds earphone away, to try and save her hearing] Why would I kidnap a wrestler?! He stayed of his own free will!!
Vince: [still angry] SEND HIM BACK IMMEDIATELY NOW, DAMNIT!!
Kylrane: [coolly] What, so my father can get pissed and you'll just end up sending another random moron? Remember my position, Vinny. You owe my daddy big time. Take away my daddy, the WWE loses money. You don't like to lose money, do you?
Vince: [really really pissed] YOU-YOU-YOU!! ARGHH!! FINE! LET HIM STAY, BUT I'M SENDING KURT ANGLE TO MAKE SURE HE DOES HIS JOB CORRECTLY!!!
Kylrane: [in a smart-assed tone] I knew you couldn't argue with me. I take very much after my dad. Can't you tell?
Vince: [still incredibly irritated] JUST...AHHH!!! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!! [he hangs up]
Jeff: [Stares in amazement at Kylrane, who has a smug grin on her face.] Wow. You left Vince McMahon speechless.
Kylrane: [chuckles] I know. I kick ass at debates. [Yet again, a cell phone rings. However, the ring tone is the theme from Austin Powers. Kylrane reaches into her pocket and answers.] Hello??
Caller: Damn you. You're a good kid, but damn you.
Kylrane: I'M NOT A KID!! Who the hell is this??
Caller: You don't recognize my voice? Hold on...ahem. FINE!!!
Kylrane: KANE! HI! I forgot I had called you...does it take you this long to answer your voicemail?? [Jeff stares in bewilderment as Kylrane is having a casual conversation with the Big Red Machine.]
Kane: No, I was just really mad that you were right about what you said. I didn't win. Neither did Hardy, but that doesn't matter. I didn't win. DAMN YOU BROCK LESNAR!!! Eh, sorry.
Kylrane: That's ok if you didn't win. There's always next time.
Kane: Yeah, I guess. I just called to answer you back. By the way, how do you know Taker's number??
Kylrane: Hehehe...a certain someone's cell phone was left around while he slept. So I took the numbers from the memory. Simple.
Kane: I'll be damned. Anyway, bye. [hangs up]
Jeff: Now I'm really amazed. You just spoke with Kane as if...
Kylrane: As if he was a friend? It's a talent.
Jeff: So...
Kylrane: ...
Jeff: How's school? Any bullies or something?
Kylrane: No. People know if they try and stuff me in a locker I'll bash their head in. Now, I can get you to bash their heads in.
Jeff: [sigh] Good. Then I can.
Kylrane: You can what?
Jeff: I want to see what high school's like again. So I arranged to follow you around every class.
Kylrane: WHAT?!
Jeff: Yeah. I'll even take notes and stuff.
Kylrane: But-but...I take advanced classes! I'm in the honors program!!
Jeff: You're fourteen. It should be easy.
Kylrane: Algebra and trigonometry??
Jeff: [gulp] WHA?
Kylrane: Ok, only algebra right now. But...um...I take advanced Literature classes!
Jeff: I write poetry. English is fun!
Kylrane: [searching for ideas] I...um...take art classes!
Jeff: Art? Great!! I can teach you how to make sculptures, and paint! I do all my own body paint!
Kylrane: Oh no...[thinks] I'm in the Asian Club!
Jeff: So? I'm not racist.
Kylrane: Guitar club.
Jeff: I front a band.
Kylrane: Shit. Uh...VOLLEYBALL!!!
Jeff: Aw damn. Volleyball?
Kylrane: [Sighs in relief] Yeah...um, I got on the team to play against the faculty...[Ok. I'm not really in high school, but I will be next year, and we are actually holding a student vs. faculty volleyball game.]
Jeff: Well, I guess there's a first time for everything.
Kylrane: [slumps] WHY?!?!
[Fast forward to phys. ed. Jeff actually did pretty good in the English class, but bombed in Algebra. Kylrane had to explain everything to him, and is completely irritated.]
Panda: Hey, Kylrane, why the hell does the guy with the red hair follow you around?
Kylrane:...I'm magnetic? Argh, he's acutally one of those crackhead babysitters I told you about.
Rei: Oh. Ok. Because you call him Jeff, I thought that was your almost brother in law.
Kylrane: I don't have a sister in this, remember? Therefore, I don't have a brother in law.
Panda: This fanfic shit is confusing.
Rei: Yeah.
[Whose To Say I Don't Know aka Sara comes out of nowhere. Following her is Olympic medalist Kurt Angle.]
Sara: Hey you guys!! Since this is phys ed, I decided to pop in!! Mr. Angle will be your gym teacher today, and- Jeff Hardy?!
Kurt: NO!! It's the rainbow haired freak!!
Jeff: Get it straight, you dork, it's red!!
Sara: Well, anyway, have fun! [vanishes]
Panda: This fanfic shit is DEFINITELY confusing.
Rei: Yeah.
Kurt: Listen up, boys and girls! [I know phys ed isn't usually coed, but for this it is...] Today we'll be playing some volleyball! Pay close attention to me, an Olympic medalist [waves medals] to learn how to truly win the game. [Chucks the volleyball at Jeff, who gets beaned.]
Jeff: [angry] You want to throw something at me, throw a fist you wuss! [punches Kurt]
Class: OH SHIT!! FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!
[The two adults are rolling around on the floor punching and kicking. Jeff climbs on top of...well, something. Let's say a radiator. Anyway, he jumps off and executes a Swanton Bomb on Kurt. The class is in awe.]
Kurt: You insane freak!!! I'll show you Xtreme!! [Runs up the stairs and is ready to moonsault off of the balcony when Kylrane stops the madness.]
Kylrane: Quit it!!! As much as I enjoy a good ass kicking-
Class: SO DO WE!!!
Kylrane: If one of you is injured, Vince McMahon will have my head served to him on a silver platter. So stop, and lets play already!
Starlight: YEAH! ENOUGH STANDING AROUND!! [Starlight is a non-writer friend of mine.]
[Kurt and Jeff grumble, but agree. They choose teams, and now the class is divided in two. Jeff throws Kylrane the ball.]
Kylrane: Rei! You serve! [Hands it to Rei. Rei nods, and serves. Starlight, on the other team, jumps and hits it over the net. Haxor (yet another friend, this time a guy) runs up and returns the ball. Sorry, I'm not good with volleyball terms.]
Kurt: Move it, slugs, move it!! Get the ball!!! [He himself runs and spikes it.]
Jeff: Hey!! You're not supposed to...fuck that, I'm playing too!! Kylrane, get that!!
Kylrane: [Smacks the ball over the net.] ARGHH!! I'M BAD AT THIS!!! [It bonks Kurt on his bald head.]
Kurt: HEY!!! YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!!!
Haxor: Yo baldy, don't hate the player, hate the game!
Rei: Haxor?
Haxor: Yeah?
Rei: Don't ever say that again.
Haxor: Ok.
[So they play a really good game of volleyball. At one point, Kylrane and Roo (another friend!!) collide and Kylrane gets stuck in a head lock. Kurt and Jeff are hell bent on beaning each other with the volleyball. Monkey (guy friend) punches the ball into the air and breaks a light. All in all, it's a chaotic but fun game.]
Starlight: So like, who the hell won??
Jeff and Kurt: MY TEAM DID!!! [They stare and growl. Penguin and Junior have to separate them.]
[At the end of the day, Jeff and Kurt are fighting over whose car Kylrane's riding home in. While they argue, Kylrane catches a bus and goes home.]
Kylrane: How is it that this shit always seems to happen to me?? DAMN!
Monkey: Hey, can you spot me a few dollars? I lost my MetroCard.
Kylrane: ARGHH!!!!!
Sorry if that was weird with the revolving door of weird named people. They really are people I know, its just...I didn't want to use real names. The fake names are major references to the real people, though. If you were in my class and read this, you'd know who's who. Ah! It just makes sense to me....
I really don't know volleyball too well. The version I play at school is the version in the story. Sorry if it doesn't make sense. Yes, I did get into a headlock. [Roo: I'm SORRY!!!]
I should be getting around to that question, but I've got so many people lined up in my head to endure the torture...er, well...I can't think of a better word....of watching Kylrane (it's strange referring to yourself in the third person after speaking in the first). Ah, oh well.
[Kylrane is sitting in the passenger seat of Jeff Hardy's ...erm, I don't exactly know what car he's got. Lets say its a Mercedes Benz. Anyway, she's sitting there and a phone rings. Jeff reaches for his, but Kylrane doesn't move.]
Jeff: [Puts on the earphone. Hey, it's illegal to hold your cell phone while driving in New York. You have to have a hands free thing.] Hello? Oh! Good morning, Mr. McMahon! [Glances at Kylrane and gulps] Yes, I...yes, I know they left...erm...well, I'm driving her to school. Eh...what?? Are you...yes, yes, ok!! [hands the earphone to Kylrane]
Kylrane: [Takes the earphone from Jeff] Hello??
Vince: [irate] YOU'VE KIDNAPPED ONE OF MY WRESTLERS!!!
Kylrane: [Holds earphone away, to try and save her hearing] Why would I kidnap a wrestler?! He stayed of his own free will!!
Vince: [still angry] SEND HIM BACK IMMEDIATELY NOW, DAMNIT!!
Kylrane: [coolly] What, so my father can get pissed and you'll just end up sending another random moron? Remember my position, Vinny. You owe my daddy big time. Take away my daddy, the WWE loses money. You don't like to lose money, do you?
Vince: [really really pissed] YOU-YOU-YOU!! ARGHH!! FINE! LET HIM STAY, BUT I'M SENDING KURT ANGLE TO MAKE SURE HE DOES HIS JOB CORRECTLY!!!
Kylrane: [in a smart-assed tone] I knew you couldn't argue with me. I take very much after my dad. Can't you tell?
Vince: [still incredibly irritated] JUST...AHHH!!! DAMN YOU TO HELL!!! [he hangs up]
Jeff: [Stares in amazement at Kylrane, who has a smug grin on her face.] Wow. You left Vince McMahon speechless.
Kylrane: [chuckles] I know. I kick ass at debates. [Yet again, a cell phone rings. However, the ring tone is the theme from Austin Powers. Kylrane reaches into her pocket and answers.] Hello??
Caller: Damn you. You're a good kid, but damn you.
Kylrane: I'M NOT A KID!! Who the hell is this??
Caller: You don't recognize my voice? Hold on...ahem. FINE!!!
Kylrane: KANE! HI! I forgot I had called you...does it take you this long to answer your voicemail?? [Jeff stares in bewilderment as Kylrane is having a casual conversation with the Big Red Machine.]
Kane: No, I was just really mad that you were right about what you said. I didn't win. Neither did Hardy, but that doesn't matter. I didn't win. DAMN YOU BROCK LESNAR!!! Eh, sorry.
Kylrane: That's ok if you didn't win. There's always next time.
Kane: Yeah, I guess. I just called to answer you back. By the way, how do you know Taker's number??
Kylrane: Hehehe...a certain someone's cell phone was left around while he slept. So I took the numbers from the memory. Simple.
Kane: I'll be damned. Anyway, bye. [hangs up]
Jeff: Now I'm really amazed. You just spoke with Kane as if...
Kylrane: As if he was a friend? It's a talent.
Jeff: So...
Kylrane: ...
Jeff: How's school? Any bullies or something?
Kylrane: No. People know if they try and stuff me in a locker I'll bash their head in. Now, I can get you to bash their heads in.
Jeff: [sigh] Good. Then I can.
Kylrane: You can what?
Jeff: I want to see what high school's like again. So I arranged to follow you around every class.
Kylrane: WHAT?!
Jeff: Yeah. I'll even take notes and stuff.
Kylrane: But-but...I take advanced classes! I'm in the honors program!!
Jeff: You're fourteen. It should be easy.
Kylrane: Algebra and trigonometry??
Jeff: [gulp] WHA?
Kylrane: Ok, only algebra right now. But...um...I take advanced Literature classes!
Jeff: I write poetry. English is fun!
Kylrane: [searching for ideas] I...um...take art classes!
Jeff: Art? Great!! I can teach you how to make sculptures, and paint! I do all my own body paint!
Kylrane: Oh no...[thinks] I'm in the Asian Club!
Jeff: So? I'm not racist.
Kylrane: Guitar club.
Jeff: I front a band.
Kylrane: Shit. Uh...VOLLEYBALL!!!
Jeff: Aw damn. Volleyball?
Kylrane: [Sighs in relief] Yeah...um, I got on the team to play against the faculty...[Ok. I'm not really in high school, but I will be next year, and we are actually holding a student vs. faculty volleyball game.]
Jeff: Well, I guess there's a first time for everything.
Kylrane: [slumps] WHY?!?!
[Fast forward to phys. ed. Jeff actually did pretty good in the English class, but bombed in Algebra. Kylrane had to explain everything to him, and is completely irritated.]
Panda: Hey, Kylrane, why the hell does the guy with the red hair follow you around?
Kylrane:...I'm magnetic? Argh, he's acutally one of those crackhead babysitters I told you about.
Rei: Oh. Ok. Because you call him Jeff, I thought that was your almost brother in law.
Kylrane: I don't have a sister in this, remember? Therefore, I don't have a brother in law.
Panda: This fanfic shit is confusing.
Rei: Yeah.
[Whose To Say I Don't Know aka Sara comes out of nowhere. Following her is Olympic medalist Kurt Angle.]
Sara: Hey you guys!! Since this is phys ed, I decided to pop in!! Mr. Angle will be your gym teacher today, and- Jeff Hardy?!
Kurt: NO!! It's the rainbow haired freak!!
Jeff: Get it straight, you dork, it's red!!
Sara: Well, anyway, have fun! [vanishes]
Panda: This fanfic shit is DEFINITELY confusing.
Rei: Yeah.
Kurt: Listen up, boys and girls! [I know phys ed isn't usually coed, but for this it is...] Today we'll be playing some volleyball! Pay close attention to me, an Olympic medalist [waves medals] to learn how to truly win the game. [Chucks the volleyball at Jeff, who gets beaned.]
Jeff: [angry] You want to throw something at me, throw a fist you wuss! [punches Kurt]
Class: OH SHIT!! FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!!!
[The two adults are rolling around on the floor punching and kicking. Jeff climbs on top of...well, something. Let's say a radiator. Anyway, he jumps off and executes a Swanton Bomb on Kurt. The class is in awe.]
Kurt: You insane freak!!! I'll show you Xtreme!! [Runs up the stairs and is ready to moonsault off of the balcony when Kylrane stops the madness.]
Kylrane: Quit it!!! As much as I enjoy a good ass kicking-
Class: SO DO WE!!!
Kylrane: If one of you is injured, Vince McMahon will have my head served to him on a silver platter. So stop, and lets play already!
Starlight: YEAH! ENOUGH STANDING AROUND!! [Starlight is a non-writer friend of mine.]
[Kurt and Jeff grumble, but agree. They choose teams, and now the class is divided in two. Jeff throws Kylrane the ball.]
Kylrane: Rei! You serve! [Hands it to Rei. Rei nods, and serves. Starlight, on the other team, jumps and hits it over the net. Haxor (yet another friend, this time a guy) runs up and returns the ball. Sorry, I'm not good with volleyball terms.]
Kurt: Move it, slugs, move it!! Get the ball!!! [He himself runs and spikes it.]
Jeff: Hey!! You're not supposed to...fuck that, I'm playing too!! Kylrane, get that!!
Kylrane: [Smacks the ball over the net.] ARGHH!! I'M BAD AT THIS!!! [It bonks Kurt on his bald head.]
Kurt: HEY!!! YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!!!
Haxor: Yo baldy, don't hate the player, hate the game!
Rei: Haxor?
Haxor: Yeah?
Rei: Don't ever say that again.
Haxor: Ok.
[So they play a really good game of volleyball. At one point, Kylrane and Roo (another friend!!) collide and Kylrane gets stuck in a head lock. Kurt and Jeff are hell bent on beaning each other with the volleyball. Monkey (guy friend) punches the ball into the air and breaks a light. All in all, it's a chaotic but fun game.]
Starlight: So like, who the hell won??
Jeff and Kurt: MY TEAM DID!!! [They stare and growl. Penguin and Junior have to separate them.]
[At the end of the day, Jeff and Kurt are fighting over whose car Kylrane's riding home in. While they argue, Kylrane catches a bus and goes home.]
Kylrane: How is it that this shit always seems to happen to me?? DAMN!
Monkey: Hey, can you spot me a few dollars? I lost my MetroCard.
Kylrane: ARGHH!!!!!
Sorry if that was weird with the revolving door of weird named people. They really are people I know, its just...I didn't want to use real names. The fake names are major references to the real people, though. If you were in my class and read this, you'd know who's who. Ah! It just makes sense to me....