Disclaimer: Blah, I own nothing, don't sue me, that sort of shit.
WAHOO! I'M PROJECT FREE!!! Finally I can write without worrying about stuff. :) Sorry about the delay...it's been a stressful week.
The following chapter includes stuff that really did happen to me. Damnit. WHY?!?!
[Kylrane's dad is on the internet. We don't see the monitor. He's making tickity-tak noises on the keyboard. Suddenly, his expression changes.]
Kylrane's dad: Whoops. Uh...
[Back to the interesting stuff. Kylrane's in front of her PC that is SO SLOW and is logging in to the interent. She freaks.]
Kylrane: Ok...I did NOT just see that...[moves the mouse around and clicks] AUGHH!!! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?! [becomes frantic] No!! NO!! [Signs on using the other screenname she has. She picks up her cell phone and calls her father.]
Kylrane's dad: Hello?
Kylrane: [extremely upset] Daddy...
Kylrane's dad: What happened?! Are those wrestlers hurting you?!
Kylrane: No...Daddy, where's my evenflow account on the internet? It's not here....[holds back sobs]
Kylrane's dad: Oh...um...about that...you see-
Kylrane: DAD WHAT HAPPENED?! NOW I CAN'T RECEIVE MOST OF MY EMAILS!! ESPECIALLY THE ONES WITH REVIEWS!!!
Kylrane's dad: Reviews for what?
Kylrane: Forget it, Dad. What did you do??
Kylrane's dad: Erm, I was just signing off, I swear, and...well...I clicked something and your email address got transfered to another account...Just make another one...I'll make it up to you. I'll take you to the circus or something. Bye. [hangs up]
Kylrane: [staring at the phone in her hand] I am SO screwed...I'll ask Rei to help me out, I guess, she's good at computers...I dunno...[starts crying] My email! My email!! I liked that screename too!!!
[Doorbell rings. Doorbell rings again. And again. Kylrane looks towards the door, sighs, and anwers it. She stares in fear and surprise at those on the other side of the door.]
Ric Flair: [looks around the house] Get a load of this place, H.
Triple H: [steps inside the house with an amused look] What a dump. Definitely doesn't have the ambience of the places we're used to.
Batista: [shrugs] You can't expect a family house to be a four star hotel, though. Especially if some kid lives here.
Kylrane: I'M NOT...[She becomes aware of the glares directed towards her. She bites her lip.]
Ric Flair: [turns around] Hey Randy, get in here.
Kylrane: WHAT?! RANDY ORTON HERE AGAIN?!?! HELL NO!
Orton: [walks in with a cocky grin] There's four of us and only one of you, little girl. What can you do to stop us, huh? Not so powerful now, are you?
Kylrane: [thinks about it for a minute] Well, then why was I able to intimidate you when Rico was with you? You just want some big powerful bullies around so you can throw around your weight. Two can play at that game, rookie. [runs up the stairs and hides in a closet]
Ric Flair: Should we go after her?
Triple H: What can she do? Cry us out of here?
Kylrane: [opens closet] I HEARD THAT BIG NOSE!!!
Triple H: [angry] Get her. [They comb the house.]
[Kylrane is hiding in the closet behind some clothes. She blends in perfectly due to tons of practice while playing hide and seek with her cousins. The only light in the cramped space is coming from her cell phone. Highlighted is the number of the Hurricane.]
Kylrane: [dials the Hurricane] Please work...
Hurricane: Greetings, citizen! Who is this?
Kylrane: [in a hushed but frantic voice] You probably don't know me, but I am in need of your help!! Four evildoers are searching for me, an innocent girl who has done nothing wrong...come quick, please!! I called Triple H big nose!!
Hurricane: A young damsel in distress! I shall come to your rescue, and with my Hurri-powers, defeat Triple H!!
Kylrane: It's not just Triple H, or else I might not be so afraid. He's got his little faction, so bring some other people, like Kane or RVD or maybe even Shawn Michaels...just bring some equalizers!! [Hears Ric Flair coming. Kylrane quickly shuts off her phone and stands still.]
Batista: Hey, Nache [I have NO IDEA how to spell that...its the "Nat" in Nature Boy] did you check in that closet yet?
Flair: Why would that kid hide there? It's too obvious of a hiding place.
Batista: I dunno. Maybe she's dumb. Like me.
Flair: You check.
Batista: No, I'll look stupid.
Flair: [rolls eyes at Batista] Hey Randy, go check for the kid in the closet!
Orton: She can't be there! Too easy!
Triple H: Someone check in there!
Flair, Batista, and Orton: NO!!
[Inside the closet, Kylrane mouths to the heavens 'Thank You!'. She jumps when she hears a loud bang. There are cries of surprise and it's obvious that someone's getting their ass kicked. Curious, she opens the closet door a little and peeks out.]
Hurricane: [kicking Randy Orton] Take this! And this! Evil cannot prevail over my Hurri-powers!!! [drops his elbow into Orton's ribs]
Scott Steiner: Yeah, assholes! [lifts up Triple H] Holler if ya hear me!! [throws him against the wall] Freakzilla is in the house! [does push ups]
Bubba Ray Dudley: [shoves D-von] D-von!! Get that table!!!
Kylrane: [pops out of the closet] Don't get the table!! Don't get the table!! I'll be in so much trouble my dad will bury me alive, kill me, and then feed me to the sharks!! [points to the stairs] Just throw 'em down there, it hurts enough...
Bubba and D-von: [shrugs] Ok. [Picks up Batista and Flair and throws them down the stairs. There are several thumps and aughs until they hit the first floor.]
Hurricane: Are you the damsel in distress?
Kylrane: If you mean am I the one that called you, yes. Don't call me a damsel in distress if you enjoy life.
Hurricane: Is that a threat?
Kylrane: Hey, if I can make Vince McMahon do whatever I want, don't you think I could ruin your career? But I won't do that, I owe you guys...maybe I can bargain some title shots...
Steiner: I've already had title shots. What else can you offer?
Kylrane: I dunno. Maybe I can get you a better theme song, those sirens annoy the hell out of me.
D-von: And we always get cheated out of our title shots! We need something else, too!
Kylrane: Erm...[thinks] Well, if Bischoff gets fired Monday [looks up at the heavens] PLEASE [goes back to the Dudleys] probably Shane McMahon will demote Chief More-Lame. If Bischoff stays, however, I can't think how I'd get that asshole fired. What if I get Morley or whatever to your houses to torture and stuff? How about that?
Bubba: That's good.
Hurricane: What about me?
Kylrane: Isn't a title shot good enough?
Hurricane: I just want a little something extra! C'mon, I'm the Hurricane! I'm a Hurri-hunk!
Kylrane: [is a little weirded out] A Hurri-hunk??
Hurricane: Yeah! And kids love me!
Kylrane: Ok....uh...what, you want a hug? A little encouragement??
Hurricane: A HUG! I LIKE HUGS! [opens arms wide]
Kylrane: Well you're not getting one from me.
Panda: [pops out of nowhere] I'll give you a hug!! [Hugs Hurricane] Yeah!! 28 hugs! I'm kicking Starlight's ass!!! [disappears out the window]
Kylrane: I have GOT to get some mentally sound friends.
Hurricane: I feel so loved.
Steiner: That reminds me, I have some of my freaks waiting for me. We'll take these punks [picks up Triple H] and put them in a place they'll feel more welcome.
[Hurricane, Bubba, and D-von leave with the members of the faction that I'm assuming is called Evolution. Kylrane flops onto a couch.]
Kylrane: [just sits there] .........[blinks]..........[scratches head]......Starlight and Panda were having a hugging contest?!?!
[See Starlight going up and down the aisles of a store hugging people. Then you see Panda running around the sidewalks of New York hugging complete strangers. Kylrane shudders.]
Ok...that was weird. Oh yeah. Where is...em, I'll say "Evolution"?
[Batista wakes up and screams. Triple H turns to him.]
Triple H: [mortified] I know!!!! Just shut up!!!
[The members of Evolution are tied up naked in a male brothel. *Shudder* Some really old ladies are grinning at them in a funny way. *Shudder Shudder*]
Ok...that was really really really weird. Ugh. *Shudder* Reviews please!!!!!!
WAHOO! I'M PROJECT FREE!!! Finally I can write without worrying about stuff. :) Sorry about the delay...it's been a stressful week.
The following chapter includes stuff that really did happen to me. Damnit. WHY?!?!
[Kylrane's dad is on the internet. We don't see the monitor. He's making tickity-tak noises on the keyboard. Suddenly, his expression changes.]
Kylrane's dad: Whoops. Uh...
[Back to the interesting stuff. Kylrane's in front of her PC that is SO SLOW and is logging in to the interent. She freaks.]
Kylrane: Ok...I did NOT just see that...[moves the mouse around and clicks] AUGHH!!! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?! [becomes frantic] No!! NO!! [Signs on using the other screenname she has. She picks up her cell phone and calls her father.]
Kylrane's dad: Hello?
Kylrane: [extremely upset] Daddy...
Kylrane's dad: What happened?! Are those wrestlers hurting you?!
Kylrane: No...Daddy, where's my evenflow account on the internet? It's not here....[holds back sobs]
Kylrane's dad: Oh...um...about that...you see-
Kylrane: DAD WHAT HAPPENED?! NOW I CAN'T RECEIVE MOST OF MY EMAILS!! ESPECIALLY THE ONES WITH REVIEWS!!!
Kylrane's dad: Reviews for what?
Kylrane: Forget it, Dad. What did you do??
Kylrane's dad: Erm, I was just signing off, I swear, and...well...I clicked something and your email address got transfered to another account...Just make another one...I'll make it up to you. I'll take you to the circus or something. Bye. [hangs up]
Kylrane: [staring at the phone in her hand] I am SO screwed...I'll ask Rei to help me out, I guess, she's good at computers...I dunno...[starts crying] My email! My email!! I liked that screename too!!!
[Doorbell rings. Doorbell rings again. And again. Kylrane looks towards the door, sighs, and anwers it. She stares in fear and surprise at those on the other side of the door.]
Ric Flair: [looks around the house] Get a load of this place, H.
Triple H: [steps inside the house with an amused look] What a dump. Definitely doesn't have the ambience of the places we're used to.
Batista: [shrugs] You can't expect a family house to be a four star hotel, though. Especially if some kid lives here.
Kylrane: I'M NOT...[She becomes aware of the glares directed towards her. She bites her lip.]
Ric Flair: [turns around] Hey Randy, get in here.
Kylrane: WHAT?! RANDY ORTON HERE AGAIN?!?! HELL NO!
Orton: [walks in with a cocky grin] There's four of us and only one of you, little girl. What can you do to stop us, huh? Not so powerful now, are you?
Kylrane: [thinks about it for a minute] Well, then why was I able to intimidate you when Rico was with you? You just want some big powerful bullies around so you can throw around your weight. Two can play at that game, rookie. [runs up the stairs and hides in a closet]
Ric Flair: Should we go after her?
Triple H: What can she do? Cry us out of here?
Kylrane: [opens closet] I HEARD THAT BIG NOSE!!!
Triple H: [angry] Get her. [They comb the house.]
[Kylrane is hiding in the closet behind some clothes. She blends in perfectly due to tons of practice while playing hide and seek with her cousins. The only light in the cramped space is coming from her cell phone. Highlighted is the number of the Hurricane.]
Kylrane: [dials the Hurricane] Please work...
Hurricane: Greetings, citizen! Who is this?
Kylrane: [in a hushed but frantic voice] You probably don't know me, but I am in need of your help!! Four evildoers are searching for me, an innocent girl who has done nothing wrong...come quick, please!! I called Triple H big nose!!
Hurricane: A young damsel in distress! I shall come to your rescue, and with my Hurri-powers, defeat Triple H!!
Kylrane: It's not just Triple H, or else I might not be so afraid. He's got his little faction, so bring some other people, like Kane or RVD or maybe even Shawn Michaels...just bring some equalizers!! [Hears Ric Flair coming. Kylrane quickly shuts off her phone and stands still.]
Batista: Hey, Nache [I have NO IDEA how to spell that...its the "Nat" in Nature Boy] did you check in that closet yet?
Flair: Why would that kid hide there? It's too obvious of a hiding place.
Batista: I dunno. Maybe she's dumb. Like me.
Flair: You check.
Batista: No, I'll look stupid.
Flair: [rolls eyes at Batista] Hey Randy, go check for the kid in the closet!
Orton: She can't be there! Too easy!
Triple H: Someone check in there!
Flair, Batista, and Orton: NO!!
[Inside the closet, Kylrane mouths to the heavens 'Thank You!'. She jumps when she hears a loud bang. There are cries of surprise and it's obvious that someone's getting their ass kicked. Curious, she opens the closet door a little and peeks out.]
Hurricane: [kicking Randy Orton] Take this! And this! Evil cannot prevail over my Hurri-powers!!! [drops his elbow into Orton's ribs]
Scott Steiner: Yeah, assholes! [lifts up Triple H] Holler if ya hear me!! [throws him against the wall] Freakzilla is in the house! [does push ups]
Bubba Ray Dudley: [shoves D-von] D-von!! Get that table!!!
Kylrane: [pops out of the closet] Don't get the table!! Don't get the table!! I'll be in so much trouble my dad will bury me alive, kill me, and then feed me to the sharks!! [points to the stairs] Just throw 'em down there, it hurts enough...
Bubba and D-von: [shrugs] Ok. [Picks up Batista and Flair and throws them down the stairs. There are several thumps and aughs until they hit the first floor.]
Hurricane: Are you the damsel in distress?
Kylrane: If you mean am I the one that called you, yes. Don't call me a damsel in distress if you enjoy life.
Hurricane: Is that a threat?
Kylrane: Hey, if I can make Vince McMahon do whatever I want, don't you think I could ruin your career? But I won't do that, I owe you guys...maybe I can bargain some title shots...
Steiner: I've already had title shots. What else can you offer?
Kylrane: I dunno. Maybe I can get you a better theme song, those sirens annoy the hell out of me.
D-von: And we always get cheated out of our title shots! We need something else, too!
Kylrane: Erm...[thinks] Well, if Bischoff gets fired Monday [looks up at the heavens] PLEASE [goes back to the Dudleys] probably Shane McMahon will demote Chief More-Lame. If Bischoff stays, however, I can't think how I'd get that asshole fired. What if I get Morley or whatever to your houses to torture and stuff? How about that?
Bubba: That's good.
Hurricane: What about me?
Kylrane: Isn't a title shot good enough?
Hurricane: I just want a little something extra! C'mon, I'm the Hurricane! I'm a Hurri-hunk!
Kylrane: [is a little weirded out] A Hurri-hunk??
Hurricane: Yeah! And kids love me!
Kylrane: Ok....uh...what, you want a hug? A little encouragement??
Hurricane: A HUG! I LIKE HUGS! [opens arms wide]
Kylrane: Well you're not getting one from me.
Panda: [pops out of nowhere] I'll give you a hug!! [Hugs Hurricane] Yeah!! 28 hugs! I'm kicking Starlight's ass!!! [disappears out the window]
Kylrane: I have GOT to get some mentally sound friends.
Hurricane: I feel so loved.
Steiner: That reminds me, I have some of my freaks waiting for me. We'll take these punks [picks up Triple H] and put them in a place they'll feel more welcome.
[Hurricane, Bubba, and D-von leave with the members of the faction that I'm assuming is called Evolution. Kylrane flops onto a couch.]
Kylrane: [just sits there] .........[blinks]..........[scratches head]......Starlight and Panda were having a hugging contest?!?!
[See Starlight going up and down the aisles of a store hugging people. Then you see Panda running around the sidewalks of New York hugging complete strangers. Kylrane shudders.]
Ok...that was weird. Oh yeah. Where is...em, I'll say "Evolution"?
[Batista wakes up and screams. Triple H turns to him.]
Triple H: [mortified] I know!!!! Just shut up!!!
[The members of Evolution are tied up naked in a male brothel. *Shudder* Some really old ladies are grinning at them in a funny way. *Shudder Shudder*]
Ok...that was really really really weird. Ugh. *Shudder* Reviews please!!!!!!