Disclaimer: I own nothing, alright? Geez...
I HATE Valentine's Day. Especially this one. You know why? I couldn't eat chocolate (I never recieve skittles...*sob*) today and other classes in my school distributed bags of candy to my class!!! The wire underneath the roof of my mouth (I think it's called the palette expander) broke so one end was hanging off and IT HURT! So no chocolate for me until I got to the dentist, who is EVIL. WAHH!!!
Who was my Valentine? Heheh! Christopher Ender Carrabba!! Well, ok, I played my Dashboard Confessional DVD so I could pretend Chris was singing to me...hey, sad love songs are perfect for Valentine's Day.
On with the story!
Kylrane: Wow. An autographed copy of Alternative Press with Dashboard Confessional on the cover. [hugs magazine] The complete set of Ranma 1/2 comic books. [grins] A laptop and cable connection for the PC!!!! Oh, the power of credit! [kisses Jeff Hardy's credit card] To think I could only get an electric guitar with Goldust's card.
[Her cell phone rings. Kylrane glares at it but reluctantly answers.]
Kylrane: Hello?
Caller: What the hell is the meaning of this?
Kylrane: The meaning of what?!
Caller: The meaning of four of my greatest superstars in a MALE BROTHEL!!! Damnit, I was enjoying replaying Bischoff's face from my recording of Raw after I put him in a match with Austin! Then I get a call from Ric Flair saying his faction are getting groped by desparate old women!!
Kylrane: Oh. Hello Vince.
Vince: What the hell?! 'Hello Vince'!! Is that all you have to say?! I'm Vince McMahon, damnit, I deserve apologies and groveling!!!
Kylrane: That's what you get for not firing Bischoff.
Vince: [thinks] Well, ok, I admit, I really did want to fire his ass. But then didn't the Got My Ass Kicked Club make up for it?
Kylrane: No. I can't order Pay Per Views if my dad ain't here! I won't be seeing Austin murdering Bischoff. Besides, I bet you Flair was enjoying that thoroughly.
Vince: ...Ugh...[shudders] Well, I don't know what the hell to do with you now!
Kylrane: Send someone. Anyone. Or give my father back.
Vince: Who the hell can I send that you won't torture?!
Kylrane: Al Snow is cool. Al Snow is very cool. Then again, he might lock me out of the house in the freezing snow as a practical joke...OH, maybe I can try and teach Lance Storm to have some charisma! Or even better, have Matt Hardy and Shannon Moore come back so I can torture Matt by eating ice cream and chocolate and stuff in front of him, since he's trying to lose two pounds. That would be fun!!!
Vince: You're a sadist, aren't you.
Kylrane: [thinks about that] Let me go look that up in the dictionary...there are some definitions I don't think fit me...
Vince: What I mean is that you delight in cruelty.
Kylrane: Oh. Well, so are you.
Vince: True. Well, I guess I'll send Al Snow over.
Kylrane: I WANT TO TORTURE MATT HARDY!
Vince: No, damnit! You can't let him gain weight, we need more people in the cruiserweight division! However, I guess I can let you have Shannon Moore.
Kylrane: What the hell am I going to do with Shannon Moore? He doesn't need to lose two pounds!
Vince: Well, you're a teenage girl. Shannon Moore is cute. Don't you think Shannon Moore is cute?
Kylrane: [weirded out] You think Shannon Moore is cute?? Vince McMahon just said Shannon Moore is cute.
Vince: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! ANSWER THE QUESTION, DAMNIT!!!
Kylrane: I guess Shannon Moore is kinda cute, but he's not my type.
Vince: What the hell is your type then?! You want...Edge?
Kylrane: BRIBING ME WITH WHAT IN YOUR OPINION ARE CUTE GUYS ISN'T GOING TO WORK!!! Besides, the only way you'll get out of this is if you BRING ME MY DADDY BACK! Or if you get me Orlando Bloom and Christopher Carrabba, but that's not going to happen...
Vince: [excited] WHO? WHO? Maybe I can...
Kylrane: Go ahead. Send me Al Snow and Edge. I don't really care anymore.
Vince: If I get you whoever you wanted, will you stop your demands?
Kylrane: No. I always need to be one step ahead of you, Vinny.
Vince: You're one sick kid.
Kylrane: I try to do as good as you. [hangs up with smug grin] I feel good putting down the powerful.
[Doorbell rings. Kylrane looks up.]
Kylrane: How the hell do they arrive so freakin' fast?! [opens door]
Edge: [flashes his pearly whites] Hi! Are you Kylrane?
Kylrane: Yes. Are you a Crest kid? Your teeth are so freakin white! Did you gargle bleach or something?!
Edge: No, I brush ten times every 12 hours.
Kylrane: Damn.
Al Snow: [also grins] Hello there! How are you? [turns to Edge] Don't you think it's time for your next brushing?
Edge: Yeah, can you hand me my stuff? [Al hands him a bag] I'll be right back.
Al Snow: [bends and speaks in Kylrane's ear] Just to let you in on the secret, I switched his toothpaste with some joke shop stuff that turns your teeth black!!
Kylrane: [stares at Al Snow] Why?
Al Snow: Why the hell not?! Haven't you ever played practical jokes before?
Kylrane: Well, yeah, but I only steal my friend's bags or their books. I give it back when they start to-
[A piercing scream is heard throughout the house. Edge runs out into the living room with his tooth brush in hand. There's still foam along the side of his mouth.]
Edge: MY TEETH!! MY TEETH!! NO!!! [they are black]
Al Snow: [bursts out laughing] SUCKER! Why did you trust ME to hold your stuff?
Edge: Shutup! You're acting like you're in high school.
Kylrane: HEY! I don't act like that at all!
Al Snow: [gives Kylrane a noogie] Sure you do!
Edge: [pulls Kylrane towards him] Let her go, you'll mess up her scalp!
Kylrane: [blushing] You smell good. You know, it IS Valentine's Day...[hugs Edge] I can't believe I've just turned into a fangirl.
Al Snow: Aw, that's a Kodak moment.
Kylrane: [turns into a fanged monster lady] IF YOU DARE TAKE A PICTURE OF ME LIKE THIS YOU WILL WISH YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN BORN, DAMNIT!!! [turns back into a normal girl]
Edge: How come you aren't hugging me anymore? I like hugs.
Kylrane: I turned normal again. That means I'm no longer a fangirl. Whew. [smiles] Thank goodness I'm back to my usual, bitchy, smartass, non-fangirl self. Now I have no weaknesses!!
Rei: [pops out of nowhere] Look, Ranie, I've got a bag of skittles in one hand and a bag of chocolates in the other!!!!! [waves them around]
Kylrane: [stares at the candy longingly] Ok, I have weaknesses, but I can't eat right now...[to Rei] Leave now before I severely hurt you.
Rei: Ok! [runs away]
Edge: C'mon, kid, you can't resist me!
Kylrane: Yeah I can.
Christian: [also pops out of nowhere] EDGE!
Edge: [surprised] CHRISTIAN!
Edge and Christian: [together] BRO!! [they embrace] Dude, I've missed you!
Al Snow: Now THIS is a Kodak moment.
Christian: [looks at Edge] Should we do it, for old time's sake?
Edge: Sure, bro! That would reek of awesomeness! Ahem. [Is handed sunglasses and a hat by some random guy. Same goes for Christian.] For all those with the luxury of flash photography [I'm sorry, I can't remember the exact words they used to say] we will now have a FIVE SECOND POSE!!!
[Edge and Christian start posing, just like old times. Christian is wearing those horrendus sunglasses that go over his head, while Edge is sporting a bright orange hat with pink feathers. Mediah, KazzaXTreme, MoonWolf, AngelRose82, the fan, and others rush in and start taking pictures.]
Christian: That was so full of coolosity.
Edge: Yeah.
Al Snow: Do you guys need to get a room or something, because this sentimental crap is going to make me puke.
Kylrane: Oh, please not on the carpet...
Christian: Hey, you've gotten sappier on episodes of Tough Enough, ok?!
Edge: Whatever, man. [He and Christian leave.]
Al Snow: Now I'm really going to puke.
Kylrane: [panics] GET OUT NOW!!! [kicks him out] Whew! [puking noises are heard outside] Oh, no, not on the snow...
Ok...I had those people come in because I went through the reviews asking for Edge knowing that since I FINALLY used him (been saving him along with Al Snow), those people should be mentioned. Sorry if you've been craving Edge too, those are the people I saw that wanted him. Well, anyways, I hope you enjoyed that strange chapter...I kinda wanted another Vince conversation. Review and make me happy!!
I HATE Valentine's Day. Especially this one. You know why? I couldn't eat chocolate (I never recieve skittles...*sob*) today and other classes in my school distributed bags of candy to my class!!! The wire underneath the roof of my mouth (I think it's called the palette expander) broke so one end was hanging off and IT HURT! So no chocolate for me until I got to the dentist, who is EVIL. WAHH!!!
Who was my Valentine? Heheh! Christopher Ender Carrabba!! Well, ok, I played my Dashboard Confessional DVD so I could pretend Chris was singing to me...hey, sad love songs are perfect for Valentine's Day.
On with the story!
Kylrane: Wow. An autographed copy of Alternative Press with Dashboard Confessional on the cover. [hugs magazine] The complete set of Ranma 1/2 comic books. [grins] A laptop and cable connection for the PC!!!! Oh, the power of credit! [kisses Jeff Hardy's credit card] To think I could only get an electric guitar with Goldust's card.
[Her cell phone rings. Kylrane glares at it but reluctantly answers.]
Kylrane: Hello?
Caller: What the hell is the meaning of this?
Kylrane: The meaning of what?!
Caller: The meaning of four of my greatest superstars in a MALE BROTHEL!!! Damnit, I was enjoying replaying Bischoff's face from my recording of Raw after I put him in a match with Austin! Then I get a call from Ric Flair saying his faction are getting groped by desparate old women!!
Kylrane: Oh. Hello Vince.
Vince: What the hell?! 'Hello Vince'!! Is that all you have to say?! I'm Vince McMahon, damnit, I deserve apologies and groveling!!!
Kylrane: That's what you get for not firing Bischoff.
Vince: [thinks] Well, ok, I admit, I really did want to fire his ass. But then didn't the Got My Ass Kicked Club make up for it?
Kylrane: No. I can't order Pay Per Views if my dad ain't here! I won't be seeing Austin murdering Bischoff. Besides, I bet you Flair was enjoying that thoroughly.
Vince: ...Ugh...[shudders] Well, I don't know what the hell to do with you now!
Kylrane: Send someone. Anyone. Or give my father back.
Vince: Who the hell can I send that you won't torture?!
Kylrane: Al Snow is cool. Al Snow is very cool. Then again, he might lock me out of the house in the freezing snow as a practical joke...OH, maybe I can try and teach Lance Storm to have some charisma! Or even better, have Matt Hardy and Shannon Moore come back so I can torture Matt by eating ice cream and chocolate and stuff in front of him, since he's trying to lose two pounds. That would be fun!!!
Vince: You're a sadist, aren't you.
Kylrane: [thinks about that] Let me go look that up in the dictionary...there are some definitions I don't think fit me...
Vince: What I mean is that you delight in cruelty.
Kylrane: Oh. Well, so are you.
Vince: True. Well, I guess I'll send Al Snow over.
Kylrane: I WANT TO TORTURE MATT HARDY!
Vince: No, damnit! You can't let him gain weight, we need more people in the cruiserweight division! However, I guess I can let you have Shannon Moore.
Kylrane: What the hell am I going to do with Shannon Moore? He doesn't need to lose two pounds!
Vince: Well, you're a teenage girl. Shannon Moore is cute. Don't you think Shannon Moore is cute?
Kylrane: [weirded out] You think Shannon Moore is cute?? Vince McMahon just said Shannon Moore is cute.
Vince: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! ANSWER THE QUESTION, DAMNIT!!!
Kylrane: I guess Shannon Moore is kinda cute, but he's not my type.
Vince: What the hell is your type then?! You want...Edge?
Kylrane: BRIBING ME WITH WHAT IN YOUR OPINION ARE CUTE GUYS ISN'T GOING TO WORK!!! Besides, the only way you'll get out of this is if you BRING ME MY DADDY BACK! Or if you get me Orlando Bloom and Christopher Carrabba, but that's not going to happen...
Vince: [excited] WHO? WHO? Maybe I can...
Kylrane: Go ahead. Send me Al Snow and Edge. I don't really care anymore.
Vince: If I get you whoever you wanted, will you stop your demands?
Kylrane: No. I always need to be one step ahead of you, Vinny.
Vince: You're one sick kid.
Kylrane: I try to do as good as you. [hangs up with smug grin] I feel good putting down the powerful.
[Doorbell rings. Kylrane looks up.]
Kylrane: How the hell do they arrive so freakin' fast?! [opens door]
Edge: [flashes his pearly whites] Hi! Are you Kylrane?
Kylrane: Yes. Are you a Crest kid? Your teeth are so freakin white! Did you gargle bleach or something?!
Edge: No, I brush ten times every 12 hours.
Kylrane: Damn.
Al Snow: [also grins] Hello there! How are you? [turns to Edge] Don't you think it's time for your next brushing?
Edge: Yeah, can you hand me my stuff? [Al hands him a bag] I'll be right back.
Al Snow: [bends and speaks in Kylrane's ear] Just to let you in on the secret, I switched his toothpaste with some joke shop stuff that turns your teeth black!!
Kylrane: [stares at Al Snow] Why?
Al Snow: Why the hell not?! Haven't you ever played practical jokes before?
Kylrane: Well, yeah, but I only steal my friend's bags or their books. I give it back when they start to-
[A piercing scream is heard throughout the house. Edge runs out into the living room with his tooth brush in hand. There's still foam along the side of his mouth.]
Edge: MY TEETH!! MY TEETH!! NO!!! [they are black]
Al Snow: [bursts out laughing] SUCKER! Why did you trust ME to hold your stuff?
Edge: Shutup! You're acting like you're in high school.
Kylrane: HEY! I don't act like that at all!
Al Snow: [gives Kylrane a noogie] Sure you do!
Edge: [pulls Kylrane towards him] Let her go, you'll mess up her scalp!
Kylrane: [blushing] You smell good. You know, it IS Valentine's Day...[hugs Edge] I can't believe I've just turned into a fangirl.
Al Snow: Aw, that's a Kodak moment.
Kylrane: [turns into a fanged monster lady] IF YOU DARE TAKE A PICTURE OF ME LIKE THIS YOU WILL WISH YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN BORN, DAMNIT!!! [turns back into a normal girl]
Edge: How come you aren't hugging me anymore? I like hugs.
Kylrane: I turned normal again. That means I'm no longer a fangirl. Whew. [smiles] Thank goodness I'm back to my usual, bitchy, smartass, non-fangirl self. Now I have no weaknesses!!
Rei: [pops out of nowhere] Look, Ranie, I've got a bag of skittles in one hand and a bag of chocolates in the other!!!!! [waves them around]
Kylrane: [stares at the candy longingly] Ok, I have weaknesses, but I can't eat right now...[to Rei] Leave now before I severely hurt you.
Rei: Ok! [runs away]
Edge: C'mon, kid, you can't resist me!
Kylrane: Yeah I can.
Christian: [also pops out of nowhere] EDGE!
Edge: [surprised] CHRISTIAN!
Edge and Christian: [together] BRO!! [they embrace] Dude, I've missed you!
Al Snow: Now THIS is a Kodak moment.
Christian: [looks at Edge] Should we do it, for old time's sake?
Edge: Sure, bro! That would reek of awesomeness! Ahem. [Is handed sunglasses and a hat by some random guy. Same goes for Christian.] For all those with the luxury of flash photography [I'm sorry, I can't remember the exact words they used to say] we will now have a FIVE SECOND POSE!!!
[Edge and Christian start posing, just like old times. Christian is wearing those horrendus sunglasses that go over his head, while Edge is sporting a bright orange hat with pink feathers. Mediah, KazzaXTreme, MoonWolf, AngelRose82, the fan, and others rush in and start taking pictures.]
Christian: That was so full of coolosity.
Edge: Yeah.
Al Snow: Do you guys need to get a room or something, because this sentimental crap is going to make me puke.
Kylrane: Oh, please not on the carpet...
Christian: Hey, you've gotten sappier on episodes of Tough Enough, ok?!
Edge: Whatever, man. [He and Christian leave.]
Al Snow: Now I'm really going to puke.
Kylrane: [panics] GET OUT NOW!!! [kicks him out] Whew! [puking noises are heard outside] Oh, no, not on the snow...
Ok...I had those people come in because I went through the reviews asking for Edge knowing that since I FINALLY used him (been saving him along with Al Snow), those people should be mentioned. Sorry if you've been craving Edge too, those are the people I saw that wanted him. Well, anyways, I hope you enjoyed that strange chapter...I kinda wanted another Vince conversation. Review and make me happy!!