A/N: Thanks so much for all the reviews! I tried to take some of your
advice and make my paragraphs shorter and thanks for the compliments on my
French. No, I'm not French, just studied it very hard and some help from a
translation website. English is my first language.
ThE sAfEhOuSe
It was already past midnight and Sydney had made her way into the bathroom with her gun, she had quickly thrown into her bag. Her body felt so small and confiding and all she wanted to do was escape her own skin. It was probably the second time in her life that she felt that way. The first was when Danny had died..no, when Danny had been murdered. She had crept out of bed, careful not to wake the peacefully sleeping Vaughn. He looked so peaceful and a charcoal silhouette in the darkness. She hadn't even bothered trying to fall asleep. She was going to sleep for eternity. She moved silently and effortlessly, watching every corner of the room with her eyes.
Their room was not as comfortable as the hotel room. It was cold and foreign. She and Vaughn had been put in the same room, much to her father's dismay, and had barely uttered a word to each since Jack had thrown them into the car and told them of their discovery.
fLaShBaCk
"I don't understand." Sydney had protested from the doorway of the bathroom.
"You've been discovered. SD-6 knows that you're here and has sent the assassins to the hotel to kill you. They are coming here in fifteen minutes. You have to get out here now! I have the car waiting downstairs!" Jack was beyond shouting at this point. He was bellowing complete with the veins popping out from his forehead and his breath becoming slow and very, very angry. "I highly suggest that you put that wig back on your head and pretend you are very much in love with Mr. Vaughn here when we get back downstairs!"
Sydney simply nodded her head, too afraid of what might happen to open her mouth and shut the door again, disappearing back into the bathroom to fix herself up. Loud sudden gasps were heard from the bathroom walls quickly followed by swears and in the quietest voice, a prayer for her friends, family, and herself. Vaughn stood there for one more moment and starred at Jack.
"It's all over for her, isn't it? She can't be Sydney Bristow anymore."
"And you're not longer Michael Vaughn." Jack turned to him and crossed his arms over his chest. "You'll go into-"
"I know the routine." Vaughn replied and started to play with the idea of not being Michael Vaughn anymore. Who would he be? Where would he be sent? Hell, would he survive this assassination attempt..He looked towards the balcony, turning away from Jack and felt his heart plummet into his stomach. "Do you think." His voice was soft and trailed off easily. *You know how I feel for your daughter, Jack. Any moron could figure that out. Sydney has. I'm sure of it.*
"She'll be fine." Jack's voice was soft and almost father like. "She's dealt with worse."
Vaughn sighed, letting it resonate in his chest for a moment only then turning to gather some of their belongings, particularly the bottle of sleeping pills and bourbon. His hands congregated some of their essential belongings, including two guns and their silencers. He grabbed her black bag and a pair of sweatpants for each of them among other essential details. His thoughts were so frantic that he could barely keep control of his shaking hands. He finally stood up and pressed his hands into his knees, head down, attempting to calm himself. His breath was rapid and he was in a full fledged state of sheer panic. Horrible images flashed through his mind. So much had happened within a few short days that it was just beginning to come down on him now.
"Are you ready, Mr. Vaughn?" Jack had been watching him.
"I'm ready." Sydney cut off the answer, fully put together and standing straighter and more defiant than ever. "Let's go." She extended her hand out to Vaughn, who had straightened up at the sound of her voice.
"Yeah. I'm ready, too." Vaughn took her hand, tightly in his and drew her towards his body. He let go of his tight grasp on her and wrapped his arm around her body, making sure that he had a tight grip on her. Jack simply nodded and turned to go out the door and down to the elevator. He was obviously not too pleased with the fact that a man had his hands on his daughter. She may have been a spy but she was still his daughter, damn it!
"I'm not going to let anything happen to you, Sydney, I swear." Vaughn said into her hair, closing his eyes against her head. He inhaled her scent of hotel shampoo and tequila. Thank G-d the affects of the alcohol hadn't impaired their judgments too badly. But she still smelled of the club smoke and of sweat.
"And I'm not going to let anything happen, period." Sydney replied reaching up a few inches to hold him in encirclement for just a moment. Her hand rested on his shoulder for a moment longing, giving it a loving squeeze. She straightened and suddenly, every line, every worry, every fear was evident on her face. "I'm so sorry for this." She began to walk a little bit towards the open door and the impatient father.
"Don't be sorry." Vaughn replied, shutting the door tightly and kept the steady embrace on her, feelings as guilty as can be.
EnD fLaShBaCk
Sydney starred into the tiny bathroom mirror, unable to stop the tears from plummeting down her face. She was broken and no one in this world could fix her. Look at the state Francie and Will were in. They were a mess. Look at her father, yelling with worry. Look at Vaughn. That was the last straw. She had destroyed Vaughn and if she hadn't already, his fate was looming over the horizon.
They didn't know it but she heard them talking about her entering witness protection. It wasn't an option and quite frankly, she was going to make sure of it. The bluebird may not have fallen at SD-6's hand but she would finish the job. Today, this bird would stop singing.
The gun was cool and hard in her hand and all she needed to do was pull the trigger and this would all be over. Her eyes tore away from a moment to the gray bathroom with a gray porcelain tub with a silver shower curtain and a gray toilet and yes, even a gray sink with a gray floor. Everything was gray. It was like her life. There was no good and evil or black and white anymore. Everything was freaking gray.
Her skin, as her eyes traveled back to the mirror, was developing a grayish tint to it. One gray hair had sprung amidst the brown. It was promptly pulled from its roots and thrown into the gray sink. She didn't even feel the slightest twinge of pain at plucking it. Not even the most minor of pain. Her eyes rested back onto the mirror and all she could think about was different parts of her life.
fLaShBaCk
Laura had busied herself in the kitchen, wrapping herself tightly in the aromas of Christmas. She had brown hair pulled back into a simple ponytail and wore her black apron. Flour, sugar, and eggs were already scattered on the counter of their California house. "Sydney, do you want to bake cookies with me?" She beckoned.
"Yes mommy!" the eager five year old had replied from her play room. She appeared at the kitchen doorway with her Barbie doll in one hand. "Can Barbie help?"
"Of course, baby." Laura walked over to her daughter and scooped her up in her arms. "Does Barbie want chocolate chips or sugar cookies?"
The grin spread over her face with the big brown eyes bouncing back between Barbie and her mother, "Barbie says she wants chocolate chip!"
EnD fLaShBaCk
That's how she had always remembered her mother. As the sweet brown hair and brown eyed mother that smelt of lilacs and sugar cookies. No of the serial killer or the enemy to the United States and the CIA. But Irinia never really loved her, Sydney convinced herself. She wasn't there for the first crush, first date, first heartbreak, first kiss, first application to college, or acceptation to college or there for advice about SD-6 or about Danny or anything. She missed her first day of middle school and high school and college and everything. Irinia had decided to leave her when she was only six years old and she missed the first of everything. Irinia Derevko was not her mother.
And her father was really her father? He had been alive for all those firsts but chose the CIA over her. She could clearly remember her first date with Justin Johnson, the star of the varsity football team and her homecoming date.
fLaShBaCk
"Isn't your dad going to come and see how you look?" Justin stuttered, dressed in his suit and nervously slipping the corsage over Sydney's thin wrist.
Sydney looked up at him and managed to smile tearfully, "He's working." She wore a long red halter top dress with an empire waist. It reached the floor and her hair was pulled up and perfectly curled. This was her first date and it was with an older guy for that matter. She was a sophomore and he a junior. They had been in a study group for A.P. History and she had helped him on a test. Taking her to the Homecoming Dance was repaying the favor because his girlfriend had just dumped him and no guy paid attention to the quiet smart girl in the back of the class. She was invisible to the rest of the world..
"He's working?" Justin repeated, raising his eyebrows in disbelief.
"It doesn't that matter." Sydney turned around and grabbed her little bag, propped up on the couch near the table where her mother's picture sat. 'Good-bye, mom' she whispered so softly that no one could hear her. "I'm already, if you are." She let the smile grace her lips and walked out the front door, arm and arm with Justin.
EnD fLaShBaCk
He hadn't even been there for her first homecoming dance. And Lord knows he hadn't made up for it now. *You know that isn't true. He is trying.* Nope, he was a crappy father. Always trying to keep things just as business. SD-6 or CIA or anything. It didn't matter. He was a crappy ass father. Her eyes looked down at the gun again and her mouth curled into a cynical smile. It was easier to die hating everyone. The world had gone to pot and she was on her way to CIA hell. At least Vaughn would have the opportunity to go to heaven because of it. Oh shit, Vaughn.
fLaShBaCk
They were in the warehouse and it smelt like old must and dust. "You need to trust me." He spoke softly, wearing his black suit and mussed hair.
"I don't trust anyone." She had replied quickly, crossing her arms over her chest in defense. She raised her eyebrows slightly, "You can understand that."
"No, I'm sorry, I can't. We're telling you the truth and if you don't trust the CIA, that's fine. But I need for you to trust me on this. If you don't, you're going to get yourself killed. Agent Bristow-"
She had put her hand up to silence him. Her mind had been made up. "If you want me to trust you, you're going to have to call me Sydney, Agent Vaughn."
"Then you don't need to worry about that Agent stuff with me, either."
"Okay. Vaughn."
"Sydney."
EnD fLaShBaCk
"Okay. Vaughn." She had repeated to the mirror. If she had only known what she was getting herself into, she would have just gotten this over two years ago. The cruel smile spread over her mouth and she came more to the conclusion that this was the only way. Okay, so she didn't get to kiss him. She didn't get to feel his lips pressed against hers but they did get to dance together. He was so warm and so comfortable. At least she got to dance with him. Her eyes shut for a split moment and almost second guessed herself. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. She heard a slight noise from another room and Vaughn sighed in his peaceful sleep. No, this was the idea. She brought the cold metal barrel to her temple and slowly started to say a prayer. It was almost all over.
ThE sAfEhOuSe
It was already past midnight and Sydney had made her way into the bathroom with her gun, she had quickly thrown into her bag. Her body felt so small and confiding and all she wanted to do was escape her own skin. It was probably the second time in her life that she felt that way. The first was when Danny had died..no, when Danny had been murdered. She had crept out of bed, careful not to wake the peacefully sleeping Vaughn. He looked so peaceful and a charcoal silhouette in the darkness. She hadn't even bothered trying to fall asleep. She was going to sleep for eternity. She moved silently and effortlessly, watching every corner of the room with her eyes.
Their room was not as comfortable as the hotel room. It was cold and foreign. She and Vaughn had been put in the same room, much to her father's dismay, and had barely uttered a word to each since Jack had thrown them into the car and told them of their discovery.
fLaShBaCk
"I don't understand." Sydney had protested from the doorway of the bathroom.
"You've been discovered. SD-6 knows that you're here and has sent the assassins to the hotel to kill you. They are coming here in fifteen minutes. You have to get out here now! I have the car waiting downstairs!" Jack was beyond shouting at this point. He was bellowing complete with the veins popping out from his forehead and his breath becoming slow and very, very angry. "I highly suggest that you put that wig back on your head and pretend you are very much in love with Mr. Vaughn here when we get back downstairs!"
Sydney simply nodded her head, too afraid of what might happen to open her mouth and shut the door again, disappearing back into the bathroom to fix herself up. Loud sudden gasps were heard from the bathroom walls quickly followed by swears and in the quietest voice, a prayer for her friends, family, and herself. Vaughn stood there for one more moment and starred at Jack.
"It's all over for her, isn't it? She can't be Sydney Bristow anymore."
"And you're not longer Michael Vaughn." Jack turned to him and crossed his arms over his chest. "You'll go into-"
"I know the routine." Vaughn replied and started to play with the idea of not being Michael Vaughn anymore. Who would he be? Where would he be sent? Hell, would he survive this assassination attempt..He looked towards the balcony, turning away from Jack and felt his heart plummet into his stomach. "Do you think." His voice was soft and trailed off easily. *You know how I feel for your daughter, Jack. Any moron could figure that out. Sydney has. I'm sure of it.*
"She'll be fine." Jack's voice was soft and almost father like. "She's dealt with worse."
Vaughn sighed, letting it resonate in his chest for a moment only then turning to gather some of their belongings, particularly the bottle of sleeping pills and bourbon. His hands congregated some of their essential belongings, including two guns and their silencers. He grabbed her black bag and a pair of sweatpants for each of them among other essential details. His thoughts were so frantic that he could barely keep control of his shaking hands. He finally stood up and pressed his hands into his knees, head down, attempting to calm himself. His breath was rapid and he was in a full fledged state of sheer panic. Horrible images flashed through his mind. So much had happened within a few short days that it was just beginning to come down on him now.
"Are you ready, Mr. Vaughn?" Jack had been watching him.
"I'm ready." Sydney cut off the answer, fully put together and standing straighter and more defiant than ever. "Let's go." She extended her hand out to Vaughn, who had straightened up at the sound of her voice.
"Yeah. I'm ready, too." Vaughn took her hand, tightly in his and drew her towards his body. He let go of his tight grasp on her and wrapped his arm around her body, making sure that he had a tight grip on her. Jack simply nodded and turned to go out the door and down to the elevator. He was obviously not too pleased with the fact that a man had his hands on his daughter. She may have been a spy but she was still his daughter, damn it!
"I'm not going to let anything happen to you, Sydney, I swear." Vaughn said into her hair, closing his eyes against her head. He inhaled her scent of hotel shampoo and tequila. Thank G-d the affects of the alcohol hadn't impaired their judgments too badly. But she still smelled of the club smoke and of sweat.
"And I'm not going to let anything happen, period." Sydney replied reaching up a few inches to hold him in encirclement for just a moment. Her hand rested on his shoulder for a moment longing, giving it a loving squeeze. She straightened and suddenly, every line, every worry, every fear was evident on her face. "I'm so sorry for this." She began to walk a little bit towards the open door and the impatient father.
"Don't be sorry." Vaughn replied, shutting the door tightly and kept the steady embrace on her, feelings as guilty as can be.
EnD fLaShBaCk
Sydney starred into the tiny bathroom mirror, unable to stop the tears from plummeting down her face. She was broken and no one in this world could fix her. Look at the state Francie and Will were in. They were a mess. Look at her father, yelling with worry. Look at Vaughn. That was the last straw. She had destroyed Vaughn and if she hadn't already, his fate was looming over the horizon.
They didn't know it but she heard them talking about her entering witness protection. It wasn't an option and quite frankly, she was going to make sure of it. The bluebird may not have fallen at SD-6's hand but she would finish the job. Today, this bird would stop singing.
The gun was cool and hard in her hand and all she needed to do was pull the trigger and this would all be over. Her eyes tore away from a moment to the gray bathroom with a gray porcelain tub with a silver shower curtain and a gray toilet and yes, even a gray sink with a gray floor. Everything was gray. It was like her life. There was no good and evil or black and white anymore. Everything was freaking gray.
Her skin, as her eyes traveled back to the mirror, was developing a grayish tint to it. One gray hair had sprung amidst the brown. It was promptly pulled from its roots and thrown into the gray sink. She didn't even feel the slightest twinge of pain at plucking it. Not even the most minor of pain. Her eyes rested back onto the mirror and all she could think about was different parts of her life.
fLaShBaCk
Laura had busied herself in the kitchen, wrapping herself tightly in the aromas of Christmas. She had brown hair pulled back into a simple ponytail and wore her black apron. Flour, sugar, and eggs were already scattered on the counter of their California house. "Sydney, do you want to bake cookies with me?" She beckoned.
"Yes mommy!" the eager five year old had replied from her play room. She appeared at the kitchen doorway with her Barbie doll in one hand. "Can Barbie help?"
"Of course, baby." Laura walked over to her daughter and scooped her up in her arms. "Does Barbie want chocolate chips or sugar cookies?"
The grin spread over her face with the big brown eyes bouncing back between Barbie and her mother, "Barbie says she wants chocolate chip!"
EnD fLaShBaCk
That's how she had always remembered her mother. As the sweet brown hair and brown eyed mother that smelt of lilacs and sugar cookies. No of the serial killer or the enemy to the United States and the CIA. But Irinia never really loved her, Sydney convinced herself. She wasn't there for the first crush, first date, first heartbreak, first kiss, first application to college, or acceptation to college or there for advice about SD-6 or about Danny or anything. She missed her first day of middle school and high school and college and everything. Irinia had decided to leave her when she was only six years old and she missed the first of everything. Irinia Derevko was not her mother.
And her father was really her father? He had been alive for all those firsts but chose the CIA over her. She could clearly remember her first date with Justin Johnson, the star of the varsity football team and her homecoming date.
fLaShBaCk
"Isn't your dad going to come and see how you look?" Justin stuttered, dressed in his suit and nervously slipping the corsage over Sydney's thin wrist.
Sydney looked up at him and managed to smile tearfully, "He's working." She wore a long red halter top dress with an empire waist. It reached the floor and her hair was pulled up and perfectly curled. This was her first date and it was with an older guy for that matter. She was a sophomore and he a junior. They had been in a study group for A.P. History and she had helped him on a test. Taking her to the Homecoming Dance was repaying the favor because his girlfriend had just dumped him and no guy paid attention to the quiet smart girl in the back of the class. She was invisible to the rest of the world..
"He's working?" Justin repeated, raising his eyebrows in disbelief.
"It doesn't that matter." Sydney turned around and grabbed her little bag, propped up on the couch near the table where her mother's picture sat. 'Good-bye, mom' she whispered so softly that no one could hear her. "I'm already, if you are." She let the smile grace her lips and walked out the front door, arm and arm with Justin.
EnD fLaShBaCk
He hadn't even been there for her first homecoming dance. And Lord knows he hadn't made up for it now. *You know that isn't true. He is trying.* Nope, he was a crappy father. Always trying to keep things just as business. SD-6 or CIA or anything. It didn't matter. He was a crappy ass father. Her eyes looked down at the gun again and her mouth curled into a cynical smile. It was easier to die hating everyone. The world had gone to pot and she was on her way to CIA hell. At least Vaughn would have the opportunity to go to heaven because of it. Oh shit, Vaughn.
fLaShBaCk
They were in the warehouse and it smelt like old must and dust. "You need to trust me." He spoke softly, wearing his black suit and mussed hair.
"I don't trust anyone." She had replied quickly, crossing her arms over her chest in defense. She raised her eyebrows slightly, "You can understand that."
"No, I'm sorry, I can't. We're telling you the truth and if you don't trust the CIA, that's fine. But I need for you to trust me on this. If you don't, you're going to get yourself killed. Agent Bristow-"
She had put her hand up to silence him. Her mind had been made up. "If you want me to trust you, you're going to have to call me Sydney, Agent Vaughn."
"Then you don't need to worry about that Agent stuff with me, either."
"Okay. Vaughn."
"Sydney."
EnD fLaShBaCk
"Okay. Vaughn." She had repeated to the mirror. If she had only known what she was getting herself into, she would have just gotten this over two years ago. The cruel smile spread over her mouth and she came more to the conclusion that this was the only way. Okay, so she didn't get to kiss him. She didn't get to feel his lips pressed against hers but they did get to dance together. He was so warm and so comfortable. At least she got to dance with him. Her eyes shut for a split moment and almost second guessed herself. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. She heard a slight noise from another room and Vaughn sighed in his peaceful sleep. No, this was the idea. She brought the cold metal barrel to her temple and slowly started to say a prayer. It was almost all over.