Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing. Neither does my split personality.
[changes expression] YES I DO! EDGE IS MINE!! [changes expression] No, he's
not, damnit, you don't like him! Now shutup and stay that way!!
I apologize for the delay in updates. I'll try better. AH! Right now my hands smell like a combination of snow, onions, and bell peppers. I was shoveling snow and then cutting up some stuff for dinner. I have actually done the impossible! I cut two onions without tearing up (which can be hell when I'm wearing my contacts...they're clear, if you want to know...). My nose was stuffy, so I had to breathe through my mouth, which allowed me to successfully cut onions without having to pause and run out of the kitchen! Ok, sorry about that. Going on off on a tangent is common for me...
In the last chapter, the villianous Jericho (Jericho: That's villianous KING OF THE WORLD Jericho to you, assclown!!) had kidnapped the innocent (heheheh) Kylrane and left her in his car overnight while he stayed at a Motel 6 ("We leave the light on for ya!"). Desperate to escape, (Kylrane: I suffered through FOUR HOURS of NONSTOP SING ALONGS!!! GAHH!!) she searches Jericho's glove compartment and stumbles upon some razors. What will happen??
Kylrane: What's going to happen is that I'm going to free myself, dumbass! Isn't that obvious?? [Rubbing razor against the rope] GAH!! I'm BLEEDING!! [ropes cut] Ouchie!! [covers wrist with her shirt] Why do such bad things happen to me?! What did I do to screw up my life?! I NEED HELP!! [starts to go nuts]
[The Hurricane swoops in and taps on the car window.]
Hurricane: In distress again, young citizen?
Kylrane: [stares] WHAT?! [she can't hear him through the glass] Speak up!!
Hurricane: The girl cannot hear me! [motions for her to bring down the window]
Kylrane: [the engine is off, so the window cannot be brought down] DAMNIT! [shakes her head at the Hurricane]
Hurricane: [poses] I'll use my Hurri-powers!! [He proceeds to stare at the car door for ten minutes while Kylrane, still bleeding, begins to try and cut off the rope around her ankles. Finally, Hurricane comes to a conclusion.] I CAN'T DO IT! MY HURRI-POWERS HAVE FAILED YOU!! [starts to cry]
Kylrane: [Realizes he can't open the door] I better call someone then...[Picks up her cell phone and dials a random number.]
Callee: Hello?
Kylrane: May I ask who I've dialed?
Callee: [weirded out] This is Brock Lesnar...
Kylrane: [disappointed...hey! I'm not much of a Brock Lesnar fan, ok?] Oh...can you like, come here so I can get pried out of this car as soon as possible. The Hurricane is here and he isn't helping at all.
Brock: Sure. Why not. I'll bring some others in case we have a big problem. [hangs up]
[The Hurricane is still crying that he couldn't save the day. Suddenly, he's surrounded by a bunch of people. Brock Lesnar brought a LOT of people. Kylrane is starting to zone out from being so bloody.]
Brock: Ok, men, there's a kid stuck in there and...dude. Look at that licsence plate. [points]
Rey Mysterio: 'LVNGLGND' ??
Hogan: Chris Jericho's car, brotha. Living Legend, brotha.
Jeff Hardy: [yeah, I know he's on Raw, but pretend Brock called anyone and everyone he could] Jericho's car, huh? I say we smash it to bits. [takes out baseball bat]
Test: [stops Jeff] I hate Jericho too, but we have to get that girl out of there.
Rey: [looks in] Quick, too, she's bleeding all over his car. That can't be good.
Hogan: But we're going to destroy the car anyway, brotha!
Brock: Rey meant it can't be good for the GIRL, Hogan.
Hogan: Oh.
[They all pull on the car door until it comes off. They're stuck underneath the door, so the Hurricane pulls Kylrane out.]
Hurricane: I DID save the day!! Yay!! [carries Kylrane around]
Kylrane: My head hurts. Everything hurts. Ooh, you're wearing a mask. Is it Mardi Gras? I'm hungry. [holds out wrists] Why is there red paint on my arms? Was there art class? I like art class. Art is fun. [looks at all the people] Are you having a sleepover party? It's late, when's your bedtime?? [continues to babble]
Jeff: Hogan, go take care of her.
Hogan: Why me, brotha?
Jeff: 'Cause the rest of us want to kill Jericho's car.
Hogan: I WANNA HAVE SOME FUN TOO!!
Rey: Hurricane, play superhero and help the kid.
Hurricane: [excited to be a hero] OK!
[The rest of the guys begin to tear apart Jericho's car. Jericho awakes due to all the noise and looks out the window to see what's going on. He freaks and rushes to the parking lot.]
Jericho: [wearing shiny orange and silver pajama pants and a shirt with purple bunnies on it...horrendus fashion sense...] What are you jackasses doing?! My car!!
Kylrane: [glances at Jericho] Look Mr. Hurricane, it's the bad goat man. He didn't give me dessert. Only a sandwich, but I didn't want to make it turn red like my hands. [holds up hands] Why is your hair green, Mr. Hurricane? And why is the bad goat man wearing shiny pants?
Hurricane: [bandages her wrists] The bad goat man thinks he's cool wearing ugly clothes. [poses] Wassupwidat?!
Jericho: [sees Hurricane] THAT COMIC BOOK FREAK HAS MY TICKET TO SUCCESS!!! [runs to Kylrane and lifts her on his back] Get your own way of blackmailing Vince McMahon, junior!!
Kylrane: NOO!! BAD GOAT MAN GOT ME!!
Brock: [stops smashing Jericho's car windows] That kid can help you blackmail Vince McMahon?!
Jericho: Well, yeah! This little brat [swings Kylrane] -
Kylrane: SAVE ME! SAVE ME! IT'S THE BAD GOAT MAN!!
Jericho: Would you shut the hell up?! [puts Kylrane down on the ground] This kid has some kind of grip on Vince McMahon and he does whatever it takes to keep her happy. I have absolutely no idea why he fears her, but the point is, she can get anything she wants from him. If I control her, I control Vince. [grins] Am I not the KING OF THE WORLD?!
[All the guys look at each other.]
Rey, Hogan, Jeff, Test, and Brock: I CLAIM HER!
Kylrane: [sees the guys rushing towards her] Is Westlife here? [looks around] I hope not. Stampedes are scary. GAH! [is swooped up by Test]
Test: YEAH! I GOT THE KID!!
Jericho: HEY! Answer my question!
Kyrlane: You look like a horse. [is dropped down] Ouchies. [Test leaves grumpily.]
Brock: I'll take her. [picks her up]
Jericho: WHAT?! HELLO!
Kylrane: Nooo....you're sweaty.....AHH! THERE'S A MONSTER ON YOUR BACK!!
Brock: That's my tattoo.
Jericho: You can't ignore me forever!
Kylrane: [looks at the Hurricane] Mr. Hurricane, I want to go home.
Brock: But I want to blackmail Vince McMahon. So I'm going to kidnap you.
Kylrane: Bad goat man kidnapped me before. Can I go home?
Jericho: STOP CALLING ME BAD GOAT MAN, YOU IDIOT!!
Jeff: Oh! You're that Kylrane kid.
Kylrane: Yes I am, Mr. Rainbow Brite. [sees Jeff's paint] Were we in the same art class? Looks like you had fun! [to Brock] Can you put me down? I don't like heights.
Jericho: Damnit! No one respects greatness nowadays!
Hogan: There's a kidnapping in effect and no one is stopping it, brotha. Why is that, brotha?
Rey: He's too tall. I can't reach the kid.
Jericho: Damn right you're short, Tiny Tim.
Kylrane: I wanna go home, Mr. Monster! Please put me down.
Brock: Only if you can give me my demands.
Kylrane: Wwwhhhhhhyyyyyy???????
Brock: Just tell Vince McMahon what I want.
Jericho: What the hell is this?! He's cashing in on my hard work?!
Kylrane: [obviously not understanding] Ok...
Brock: [hands her over to Jeff] You take her, you know her.
Rey: What about me?!
Jericho: What about you?! What about JERICHO?!
Kylrane: You can have what Mr. Monster is going to have...
Rey: COOL! [leaves]
Jeff: Hey Hurricane!
Jericho: This is crap!! Assclowns one and two are still here, plus this Kelly kid can't think straight!
Hurricane: What?
Jeff: Did she lose that much blood to be going nuts like this? I mean, she might be sick.
Hurricane: My Hurri-senses tell me she'll be fine, but we better drop her off at home and watch her for awhile.
Kylrane: SLEEPOVER! YAY!
Jericho: Doesn't anyone know I'm here?!
Jeff: Am I hearing voices?
Hurricane: Probably. You ARE conflicted.
Jeff: Yeah, that's true. [they leave with Kylrane]
Jericho: What the fuck just happened?!
Jeff: [comes back] Oh yeah, I forgot something! [quickly shaves off Jericho's beard] Now I feel better. [exits]
Jericho: AHHHH! [rubs his chin] My mojo!! My mojo!! [think Austin Power's mojo = Chris Jericho's beard]
Sorry if this one was lame and weird. It probably sucked (wah). I stuck in those guys for a reason. Brock, because people seem to like him. Rey, 'cause he's cool (that IS a good enough explanation!). Hogan, 'cause the 'brothas' are fun to type. Test, 'cause he doesn't like Jericho. Jeff, 'cause he's cute. Tee hee. And Hurricane, 'cause I think he got braces. I applaud him. He is now officially my hero. And the poses, the poses!! I can't help but adore the Hurricane, he's funny. Whoa, I've been rambling again! Just go review, for your own sake!!
I apologize for the delay in updates. I'll try better. AH! Right now my hands smell like a combination of snow, onions, and bell peppers. I was shoveling snow and then cutting up some stuff for dinner. I have actually done the impossible! I cut two onions without tearing up (which can be hell when I'm wearing my contacts...they're clear, if you want to know...). My nose was stuffy, so I had to breathe through my mouth, which allowed me to successfully cut onions without having to pause and run out of the kitchen! Ok, sorry about that. Going on off on a tangent is common for me...
In the last chapter, the villianous Jericho (Jericho: That's villianous KING OF THE WORLD Jericho to you, assclown!!) had kidnapped the innocent (heheheh) Kylrane and left her in his car overnight while he stayed at a Motel 6 ("We leave the light on for ya!"). Desperate to escape, (Kylrane: I suffered through FOUR HOURS of NONSTOP SING ALONGS!!! GAHH!!) she searches Jericho's glove compartment and stumbles upon some razors. What will happen??
Kylrane: What's going to happen is that I'm going to free myself, dumbass! Isn't that obvious?? [Rubbing razor against the rope] GAH!! I'm BLEEDING!! [ropes cut] Ouchie!! [covers wrist with her shirt] Why do such bad things happen to me?! What did I do to screw up my life?! I NEED HELP!! [starts to go nuts]
[The Hurricane swoops in and taps on the car window.]
Hurricane: In distress again, young citizen?
Kylrane: [stares] WHAT?! [she can't hear him through the glass] Speak up!!
Hurricane: The girl cannot hear me! [motions for her to bring down the window]
Kylrane: [the engine is off, so the window cannot be brought down] DAMNIT! [shakes her head at the Hurricane]
Hurricane: [poses] I'll use my Hurri-powers!! [He proceeds to stare at the car door for ten minutes while Kylrane, still bleeding, begins to try and cut off the rope around her ankles. Finally, Hurricane comes to a conclusion.] I CAN'T DO IT! MY HURRI-POWERS HAVE FAILED YOU!! [starts to cry]
Kylrane: [Realizes he can't open the door] I better call someone then...[Picks up her cell phone and dials a random number.]
Callee: Hello?
Kylrane: May I ask who I've dialed?
Callee: [weirded out] This is Brock Lesnar...
Kylrane: [disappointed...hey! I'm not much of a Brock Lesnar fan, ok?] Oh...can you like, come here so I can get pried out of this car as soon as possible. The Hurricane is here and he isn't helping at all.
Brock: Sure. Why not. I'll bring some others in case we have a big problem. [hangs up]
[The Hurricane is still crying that he couldn't save the day. Suddenly, he's surrounded by a bunch of people. Brock Lesnar brought a LOT of people. Kylrane is starting to zone out from being so bloody.]
Brock: Ok, men, there's a kid stuck in there and...dude. Look at that licsence plate. [points]
Rey Mysterio: 'LVNGLGND' ??
Hogan: Chris Jericho's car, brotha. Living Legend, brotha.
Jeff Hardy: [yeah, I know he's on Raw, but pretend Brock called anyone and everyone he could] Jericho's car, huh? I say we smash it to bits. [takes out baseball bat]
Test: [stops Jeff] I hate Jericho too, but we have to get that girl out of there.
Rey: [looks in] Quick, too, she's bleeding all over his car. That can't be good.
Hogan: But we're going to destroy the car anyway, brotha!
Brock: Rey meant it can't be good for the GIRL, Hogan.
Hogan: Oh.
[They all pull on the car door until it comes off. They're stuck underneath the door, so the Hurricane pulls Kylrane out.]
Hurricane: I DID save the day!! Yay!! [carries Kylrane around]
Kylrane: My head hurts. Everything hurts. Ooh, you're wearing a mask. Is it Mardi Gras? I'm hungry. [holds out wrists] Why is there red paint on my arms? Was there art class? I like art class. Art is fun. [looks at all the people] Are you having a sleepover party? It's late, when's your bedtime?? [continues to babble]
Jeff: Hogan, go take care of her.
Hogan: Why me, brotha?
Jeff: 'Cause the rest of us want to kill Jericho's car.
Hogan: I WANNA HAVE SOME FUN TOO!!
Rey: Hurricane, play superhero and help the kid.
Hurricane: [excited to be a hero] OK!
[The rest of the guys begin to tear apart Jericho's car. Jericho awakes due to all the noise and looks out the window to see what's going on. He freaks and rushes to the parking lot.]
Jericho: [wearing shiny orange and silver pajama pants and a shirt with purple bunnies on it...horrendus fashion sense...] What are you jackasses doing?! My car!!
Kylrane: [glances at Jericho] Look Mr. Hurricane, it's the bad goat man. He didn't give me dessert. Only a sandwich, but I didn't want to make it turn red like my hands. [holds up hands] Why is your hair green, Mr. Hurricane? And why is the bad goat man wearing shiny pants?
Hurricane: [bandages her wrists] The bad goat man thinks he's cool wearing ugly clothes. [poses] Wassupwidat?!
Jericho: [sees Hurricane] THAT COMIC BOOK FREAK HAS MY TICKET TO SUCCESS!!! [runs to Kylrane and lifts her on his back] Get your own way of blackmailing Vince McMahon, junior!!
Kylrane: NOO!! BAD GOAT MAN GOT ME!!
Brock: [stops smashing Jericho's car windows] That kid can help you blackmail Vince McMahon?!
Jericho: Well, yeah! This little brat [swings Kylrane] -
Kylrane: SAVE ME! SAVE ME! IT'S THE BAD GOAT MAN!!
Jericho: Would you shut the hell up?! [puts Kylrane down on the ground] This kid has some kind of grip on Vince McMahon and he does whatever it takes to keep her happy. I have absolutely no idea why he fears her, but the point is, she can get anything she wants from him. If I control her, I control Vince. [grins] Am I not the KING OF THE WORLD?!
[All the guys look at each other.]
Rey, Hogan, Jeff, Test, and Brock: I CLAIM HER!
Kylrane: [sees the guys rushing towards her] Is Westlife here? [looks around] I hope not. Stampedes are scary. GAH! [is swooped up by Test]
Test: YEAH! I GOT THE KID!!
Jericho: HEY! Answer my question!
Kyrlane: You look like a horse. [is dropped down] Ouchies. [Test leaves grumpily.]
Brock: I'll take her. [picks her up]
Jericho: WHAT?! HELLO!
Kylrane: Nooo....you're sweaty.....AHH! THERE'S A MONSTER ON YOUR BACK!!
Brock: That's my tattoo.
Jericho: You can't ignore me forever!
Kylrane: [looks at the Hurricane] Mr. Hurricane, I want to go home.
Brock: But I want to blackmail Vince McMahon. So I'm going to kidnap you.
Kylrane: Bad goat man kidnapped me before. Can I go home?
Jericho: STOP CALLING ME BAD GOAT MAN, YOU IDIOT!!
Jeff: Oh! You're that Kylrane kid.
Kylrane: Yes I am, Mr. Rainbow Brite. [sees Jeff's paint] Were we in the same art class? Looks like you had fun! [to Brock] Can you put me down? I don't like heights.
Jericho: Damnit! No one respects greatness nowadays!
Hogan: There's a kidnapping in effect and no one is stopping it, brotha. Why is that, brotha?
Rey: He's too tall. I can't reach the kid.
Jericho: Damn right you're short, Tiny Tim.
Kylrane: I wanna go home, Mr. Monster! Please put me down.
Brock: Only if you can give me my demands.
Kylrane: Wwwhhhhhhyyyyyy???????
Brock: Just tell Vince McMahon what I want.
Jericho: What the hell is this?! He's cashing in on my hard work?!
Kylrane: [obviously not understanding] Ok...
Brock: [hands her over to Jeff] You take her, you know her.
Rey: What about me?!
Jericho: What about you?! What about JERICHO?!
Kylrane: You can have what Mr. Monster is going to have...
Rey: COOL! [leaves]
Jeff: Hey Hurricane!
Jericho: This is crap!! Assclowns one and two are still here, plus this Kelly kid can't think straight!
Hurricane: What?
Jeff: Did she lose that much blood to be going nuts like this? I mean, she might be sick.
Hurricane: My Hurri-senses tell me she'll be fine, but we better drop her off at home and watch her for awhile.
Kylrane: SLEEPOVER! YAY!
Jericho: Doesn't anyone know I'm here?!
Jeff: Am I hearing voices?
Hurricane: Probably. You ARE conflicted.
Jeff: Yeah, that's true. [they leave with Kylrane]
Jericho: What the fuck just happened?!
Jeff: [comes back] Oh yeah, I forgot something! [quickly shaves off Jericho's beard] Now I feel better. [exits]
Jericho: AHHHH! [rubs his chin] My mojo!! My mojo!! [think Austin Power's mojo = Chris Jericho's beard]
Sorry if this one was lame and weird. It probably sucked (wah). I stuck in those guys for a reason. Brock, because people seem to like him. Rey, 'cause he's cool (that IS a good enough explanation!). Hogan, 'cause the 'brothas' are fun to type. Test, 'cause he doesn't like Jericho. Jeff, 'cause he's cute. Tee hee. And Hurricane, 'cause I think he got braces. I applaud him. He is now officially my hero. And the poses, the poses!! I can't help but adore the Hurricane, he's funny. Whoa, I've been rambling again! Just go review, for your own sake!!