Revelations

Epilogue

It was only 4:00 in the afternoon and Frank Donovan was already heading for home. How many long nights had he put in because of his work over the years? Hundreds? He wasn't sure, but he just knew there were too many to count. This teaching gig certainly had its perks. Being able to head home before the sun set was certainly tops on that list.

The job itself was going well, but he had to wonder if he'd ever been as green as some of these new recruits. On the plus side, they were all so eager to learn, although he did have a few cocky SOB's who were just asking to be taken down a notch or two and he was more than willing to oblige them.

He had to admit, sometimes he missed the challenge of field work…setting the trap and catching the bad guy. He'd kept in touch with his old team and was pleased to hear that they'd found a competent replacement for his position. He'd felt somewhat guilty about leaving, but knowing that they were in good hands helped ease his conscience a bit.

Speaking of clearing consciences, Frank had had a more than interesting conversation with Chicago PD Lt. Phil Casey not too long ago. The man had called out of the blue supposedly to tell him what had finally happened with the bomber's case. He told Frank that there was a correlation between all of the properties, or in some cases people, targeted. The bomber had spilled his guts from the moment he was apprehended and dragged into jail. He'd told them all about the payoffs, kickbacks and all other manner of government corruption that led to the permanent shutdown of the plant. The properties he had targeted were owned, leased or rented by not only former Chicago Steel management but also by the very city officials who had helped orchestrate the whole deal.

Frank listened quietly and answered that he'd already been informed of the situation by his team (former team). There was a few seconds of silence before Casey cleared his throat and finally got around to what he really wanted to talk about. Frank had been expecting some sort of apology, but was actually fairly shocked by what the police Lt. really had to tell him. That his former FBI boss had actually called Casey and asked him to leak information to the press in order to goad Frank into taking more drastic measures. Frank's first inclination was to call the man a liar, but he could tell by Casey's voice that he was telling the truth.

After hanging up the phone, Frank had very nearly driven to the FBI's DC office and kicked his former boss' ass into next week. But the longer he thought about it, the more that Frank realized that it would come down to one man's word against the other, if Frank had tried to take any action. With all the self control he could muster, Frank decided to let the whole matter go. It sickened him to think that Craig had put his family in danger all in the name of saving a penny or two. But all in all, he was just happy that he no longer had any direct contact with the man.

So Frank continued on his way home, but he had one important stop to make before he did so. Turning off the main drag, Frank drove through the large wrought iron gates and wound his way around the curved drive. He slowed and finally parked his car near a small hillside. Glancing up the incline, he saw where he needed to go. Climbing the gentle slope, he stopped beside a stone bench situated underneath a majestic oak tree. Not for the first time, he marveled at how tranquil the area was, almost comforting in a strange way.

Lowering himself to the bench, he waited a few moments and just let the peacefulness envelope him. Sighing, he leaned forward, his forearms resting on his legs, his hands clasped in front of him and stared at the object in front of him.

Michael Patrick Donovan

1994 - 2001

Beloved son and brother

Frank felt the tears begin to form at the back of his eyes. He missed his little boy more than he could have ever explained to anyone. Nearly losing Laura had only intensified the feeling. He'd lost people close to him before. Fellow agents, grandparents, friends and even his father, but the pain of losing a child was beyond explanation. A very real part of him had died along with Michael. A part of his heart was gone forever.

He continued to gaze at the tombstone, wanting to say something, but not knowing where to start. He bowed his head and tried to come to terms with his grief once more.

Laura watched him as he sat alone on the bench. She'd called his work and they'd informed her that Frank had left nearly an hour ago. She knew where he had gone. She didn't even need to think twice about it. Today was the second anniversary of Michael's death.

Although the pain of losing her son was still very real to her, she knew that her husband was carrying around so much more than just simple grief. He still felt guilty. He still wouldn't forgive himself.

She gave him a few more moments before quietly approaching him. He sensed her before he even saw or heard her. He straightened up and turned to give her a sad smile, which nearly broke her heart.

She sat beside him and reached for his hand, cradling it in her own two. Neither said a word for several minutes. She was hoping that he would start. That he would finally say what he hadn't been able to. Sighing to her self, she knew it wouldn't be that easy.

"It's nice here," she said, finally breaking the silence. Frank didn't answer. He just looked around at the area appreciatively, his eyes taking in the gently sloping hills and green trees.

Again several minutes passed and he didn't say anything. She knew now that she'd have to prod him a bit, and just prayed that he wouldn't resent her for intruding.

"Let it go, Frank," she said barely above a whisper as she leaned closer to him.

Frank's head turned quickly to look at her, and she thought for a few seconds that she'd picked the entirely wrong thing to say. At first he didn't respond, he simply turned back to staring at the headstone.

"I should have been there," he finally returned.

Laura closed her eyes and relaxed slightly. Go on Frank……say what you need to say.

"I should have never left," he continued. "I should have told them to go to hell when they asked me to take the job. But I didn't…..I thought I had time." Stopping suddenly, he shook his head. "No…that's not entirely true. I…..didn't want to deal with it. I needed something to occupy my mind, so I let them talk me into going." He stopped once again, tried to disengage his hand from hers, but she wouldn't allow it. Instead she would her arm around his, grasped his hand between the two of her own and held on as tightly as she could, silently pleading with him to finally get it all out.

He took a shuddering breath before he finally continued. "I practically ran to get on the plane. The moment I was on the job, I could focus on something else. I could try to make something better. At the hospital, I felt completely helpless. There was nothing I could do for Michael, and it killed me. After the doctor sat down with us and gave us the news that our son would die in a matter of days or weeks, you started to shut me out and I let you. I should have forced you to accept what was happening, but I didn't. So I ran. I took the first flight out and let my mind become enveloped by something else that had nothing to do with blood transfusion, IV's, cancer or death.

"My son lay dying in a hospital bed and I ran like a coward, and I left you to deal with it on your own." He stopped once more and tried to control his breathing, his emotions. "I should have been here, Laura……for both of you."

"We both reacted badly to it. I shut out anything that had nothing to do with Michael and you ran in the other direction. I pushed you away and accused you of being the cause of it all. Frank….the things I said to you," she told him, her voice becoming raspy with emotion, "such unforgivable things. I wouldn't have blamed you for never coming back."

He let go of her hand and wrapped his arm around her pulling her closer to him. They'd both made mistakes, he realized but could he really ever forgive himself for not being there when it mattered the most.

Laura raised her head and looked at Frank. He saw the tears falling down her cheeks and raised his hand to gently wipe them away. "Let it go, Frank," she told him again. "It's been two years. We've both been through hell and I don't ever want to go back. Please, Frank," she nearly pleaded with him.

He stared into her eyes still glistening with tears and couldn't believe how much he loved her. She was right, they had both been through hell, and lived to tell about it. He'd promised himself after she was rescued that he would spend the rest of his life making her happy. Maybe this was the first step…..the largest step he could take to making that happen.

He didn't say a word, but she saw something change in his eyes. He'd decided something….come to some agreement within himself, and his eyes burned a little brighter than they had just seconds ago.

Smiling, she touched her hand to his face and placed a tender kiss on his lips. She turned her attention back to Michael's headstone and drew in a ragged breath.

"You know," she began, "when I was stuck under all of that rubble and I thought for sure that there was no way that I was going to get out in time, the only thing that really comforted me was thinking that maybe I'd get to see my little boy soon. I sometimes wonder if he misses us half as much as we miss him." The tears began to flow down her cheeks once more before she continued. "I hate to think of him being all alone without us," she said as a small sob escaped her lips.

"Ssshhhh…….it's OK, baby," he whispered to her as he held her tighter. "He's not alone. I like to think that he's got three grandparents there spoiling him rotten." Laura had to laugh at that. Frank's father had died when Frank was just fourteen, her mother right after her 21st birthday and her father just 9 years ago. She liked the idea of their parents looking after him. Somehow it made the separation a little more bearable.

The two sat there for a few minutes longer, before deciding that it was time to go. Releasing his hold around his wife, Frank rose and helped Laura to her feet. With one last look, the two began to walk away, but Frank stopped suddenly and turned back.

Laura seemed a bit puzzled by his actions, but she understood when she could just barely hear his voice over the rustling of the wind through the trees. "I love you Michael….always. We'll see you again….a few years down the road. Don't forget us."

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A/N : I want to sincerely thank all who read this story and a special thank you to the ones who left me such kind messages! I very much appreciate it!

A special thanks to Deana, Marie, Shel, Dawn, Nicky, Cindy, and Serena who left reviews for every (or almost every) gosh darned chapter! THANK YOU!!!

You guys is the best!!!

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