Crookshanks to the rescue
By: Tanith Bri
***
Not much was happening that day.
Really, it was a real bore.
I was sleeping, this was my 34th nap I think, on a comfy cushion, in the common room of course right next to a warm and cozy fire, don't ask how I lit it. Pigwidgeon, who wouldn't shut his little beak and kept on ranting about how pretty Hedwig was, was locked inside one of Neville's chests upstairs. I could still hear him chirping like a tone-deaf soprano wannabe psychopath though, but hey, I just ignored him.
I know I was mean, but hey, I'm Crookshanks, the one that tried to eat Ron's precious Scabbers who was really a short bald guy that was scared of his own shadow. He still hates me I reckon.
So, not much really happened, yawn, yawn, yawn..
Little did I know though, that I was about to earn Ron's eternal love and respect. Really, it was about to happen.
So, there I was, lying in my cushion, warmed by the fire, my whiskers twitching with satisfaction. I felt nothing could go wrong that day. I spoke too soon. The moment I began to dream about me as an anthromorphic fisherman that just caught a 500-pound bass, and my best friend was Salem from SABRINA, this horrible noise, truly horrible, broke the peace and shattered my eardrums.
I heard the Gryffindor portrait slide back, you know, the one with the old fat lady in pink, and it was painfully accompanied by the clopping of shoes against stone and the shrieks and giggles of insane school girls.
I was very annoyed, not only did they ruin a good nap and dream, they impaired my hearing. I could only growl fiercely, and I slinked away upstairs, hoping to catch forty winks again, when I saw above the head of hair and butterfly clips, the bushy hair of my master. I smiled, whiskers twitching again, and I walked on my four paws towards my master, Hermione Granger, resident nerd, brain box, genius and best friend of Harry Potter and Ron, and rubbed my fur against her leg. I wanted her to notice me and soothe me on her lap, she was the only quiet one in the damned room.
She didn't take notice as she joined the girls, Lavender, Parvatti, Ginny, and Angelina, the school chatterboxes, on the floor in a circle, talking at a hundred miles per millisecond.
I took another approach. I let out a pathetic mew and meow, and then purred as I rubbed against her side.
Finally, she took notice when she turned and saw me.
Oh finally.
" Hey Crook." She said smiling, as she picked me up, finally, and put me on her lap, finally, and scratched behind my ears, finally. Is there an echo here??
Okay, so now I had peace. Problem: I couldn't sleep because the noise removed the drowsiness from my brain and replaced it with wide awake-ness. I envy the orange fat tabby, he sleeps all the time. Since I couldn't sleep with nothing to do, I could have used Pigwidgeon as a Koosh ball, but he was upstairs in a locked chest.
Darn.
So, out of plain boredom and the desperation for something to do, I listened in on the girls' conversation.
Lavender: Girls, I am just, like, so excited!!!!
Parvatti: I know what you mean Lavvie!!
Lavvie?? These girls are weird.
Angelina: Oh yeah!! In a few days, the big one is coming!!
Ginny: Yeah, the moment of truth.
Lavender: The test of true womanhood.
Parvatti: the ultimate test of womanly moxie and guts..
All together except Hermione: THE SCHOOL DANCE!!!!
The school dance?? That was what they were all excited about?? These girls are really weird. And I do mean weird.
Lavender: I have to fix my hair!!
Ginny: Get a new dress!!
Angelina: And just look our best!!
Hermione: Oh please!! It's just a school dance!!!
Everyone turned to her, shocked. Even I was shocked. I've never seen Hermione so upset, not since she made Harry and Ron believe that McGonagall dismantled his ( Harry) broom, new one duh.
Lavender: Blasphemy!!!
Parvatti: How could you say that??
Ginny: Yeah!! Why Herm!?!?!
I looked at her face. Hermione seemed very upset at this point.
Hermione: IT JUST IS OKAY!!!!! GET OFF MY CASE!!!!
I jumped off her lap, no duh I was scared to death by her almighty roar. I looked up at her from my crouched position on the floor and noticed that her face was beet red. The other girls were only staring at her.
Angelina: Okay..Hermione..DMY.
She just let out a cry of frustration before storming off to the girls' dormitory.
What is wrong with her?? Is it her menstrual cycle acting up again?? I have to find out.
So, I raised my bushy little tail, and uh, tailed off right after her.
TBC
By: Tanith Bri
***
Not much was happening that day.
Really, it was a real bore.
I was sleeping, this was my 34th nap I think, on a comfy cushion, in the common room of course right next to a warm and cozy fire, don't ask how I lit it. Pigwidgeon, who wouldn't shut his little beak and kept on ranting about how pretty Hedwig was, was locked inside one of Neville's chests upstairs. I could still hear him chirping like a tone-deaf soprano wannabe psychopath though, but hey, I just ignored him.
I know I was mean, but hey, I'm Crookshanks, the one that tried to eat Ron's precious Scabbers who was really a short bald guy that was scared of his own shadow. He still hates me I reckon.
So, not much really happened, yawn, yawn, yawn..
Little did I know though, that I was about to earn Ron's eternal love and respect. Really, it was about to happen.
So, there I was, lying in my cushion, warmed by the fire, my whiskers twitching with satisfaction. I felt nothing could go wrong that day. I spoke too soon. The moment I began to dream about me as an anthromorphic fisherman that just caught a 500-pound bass, and my best friend was Salem from SABRINA, this horrible noise, truly horrible, broke the peace and shattered my eardrums.
I heard the Gryffindor portrait slide back, you know, the one with the old fat lady in pink, and it was painfully accompanied by the clopping of shoes against stone and the shrieks and giggles of insane school girls.
I was very annoyed, not only did they ruin a good nap and dream, they impaired my hearing. I could only growl fiercely, and I slinked away upstairs, hoping to catch forty winks again, when I saw above the head of hair and butterfly clips, the bushy hair of my master. I smiled, whiskers twitching again, and I walked on my four paws towards my master, Hermione Granger, resident nerd, brain box, genius and best friend of Harry Potter and Ron, and rubbed my fur against her leg. I wanted her to notice me and soothe me on her lap, she was the only quiet one in the damned room.
She didn't take notice as she joined the girls, Lavender, Parvatti, Ginny, and Angelina, the school chatterboxes, on the floor in a circle, talking at a hundred miles per millisecond.
I took another approach. I let out a pathetic mew and meow, and then purred as I rubbed against her side.
Finally, she took notice when she turned and saw me.
Oh finally.
" Hey Crook." She said smiling, as she picked me up, finally, and put me on her lap, finally, and scratched behind my ears, finally. Is there an echo here??
Okay, so now I had peace. Problem: I couldn't sleep because the noise removed the drowsiness from my brain and replaced it with wide awake-ness. I envy the orange fat tabby, he sleeps all the time. Since I couldn't sleep with nothing to do, I could have used Pigwidgeon as a Koosh ball, but he was upstairs in a locked chest.
Darn.
So, out of plain boredom and the desperation for something to do, I listened in on the girls' conversation.
Lavender: Girls, I am just, like, so excited!!!!
Parvatti: I know what you mean Lavvie!!
Lavvie?? These girls are weird.
Angelina: Oh yeah!! In a few days, the big one is coming!!
Ginny: Yeah, the moment of truth.
Lavender: The test of true womanhood.
Parvatti: the ultimate test of womanly moxie and guts..
All together except Hermione: THE SCHOOL DANCE!!!!
The school dance?? That was what they were all excited about?? These girls are really weird. And I do mean weird.
Lavender: I have to fix my hair!!
Ginny: Get a new dress!!
Angelina: And just look our best!!
Hermione: Oh please!! It's just a school dance!!!
Everyone turned to her, shocked. Even I was shocked. I've never seen Hermione so upset, not since she made Harry and Ron believe that McGonagall dismantled his ( Harry) broom, new one duh.
Lavender: Blasphemy!!!
Parvatti: How could you say that??
Ginny: Yeah!! Why Herm!?!?!
I looked at her face. Hermione seemed very upset at this point.
Hermione: IT JUST IS OKAY!!!!! GET OFF MY CASE!!!!
I jumped off her lap, no duh I was scared to death by her almighty roar. I looked up at her from my crouched position on the floor and noticed that her face was beet red. The other girls were only staring at her.
Angelina: Okay..Hermione..DMY.
She just let out a cry of frustration before storming off to the girls' dormitory.
What is wrong with her?? Is it her menstrual cycle acting up again?? I have to find out.
So, I raised my bushy little tail, and uh, tailed off right after her.
TBC