Author's notes: The scene with Aragorn, Arwen and Gingerhead is inspired from a true incident. Believe me, you don't want more details.

Many thanks to all of you who took the naughty cat in your hearts. Gifts, cat-food and reviews greatly appreciated.

CHAPTER 3: Of Rings, of Wizards and Elves.

Gingerhead's POV.

Life with the Hobbits has been fun. There is lots of food, plenty of rest in the sun, limitless fun shredding the gardens and then watching Sam's face turning red. Sometimes I think he'll burst. I suspect that at certain times he would very much like to kick me. But then I put on my 'defenceless kitten' face and I have him wrapped around my paw. Ah, to be a cat. It is a good life.

I have taken a lot of time demonstrating the first law of Feline Home Economics to the Hobbits. If it is on the floor, it is mine. If it is not, I will throw it there and claim it for my own.

It is not my fault you that own so many fragile things.

~*~

A couple of weeks later Gandalf returned, with knowledge that Bilbo's ring was indeed Isildur's Bane. He left to consult with Saruman, while the Hobbits went to Bree.

A very unhappy Gingerhead went with Gandalf.

~*~

Gingerhead's POV.

I told you, I didn't want to go! I was perfectly happy dozing off by the fireplace and you had to come in with more ring talk, as if I care.

You said that you wouldn't leave me all alone at the Shire, wizard. But I'm certain that I would have better chances with the Hobbits than with you.

I don't like riding a horse. I don't like horses in general, unless they are served with cream and salad. Probably that's why horses don't like me, either. I swear this beast of yours tried to kick me at least twice. How could he dare to harm an innocent kitten the size of his hoof?

All I did was to attempt stealing a bite from his hind leg, just checking if the continuous galloping hardens the meat.

And where are we going? I am tired.

~*~

Gandalf reached Isengard. Saruman walked out to meet him, and Gingerhead jumped out of the saddle's side pockets. He hissed at the horse and went on to check Saruman. He hissed at him too, much to Gandalf's embarrassment.

"Smaugling, that was not a nice thing to do. Old friend, please excuse my companion. He's exhausted from the journey," said Gandalf apologetically, while Gingerhead mewed hysterically, trying to claw his way up in Gandalf's lap.

Saruman stared at the kitten in silence. Something in Gingerhead's eyes bothered him.

~*~

Gingerhead's POV.

Finally, I feel the earth under my paws. The stupid horse tried to kick me again, so I gave him a piece of my mind. Hey, another wizard! Perhaps he can show me the proper respect!

I do not like him. He smells bad. He smells of death, like the human who threw me in the water. I think we have to go now. My imbecile wizard-servant doesn't have a clue. Hey, Gandalf, over here! We have to go! And when will you understand that my name is not Smaugling?

No, I don't want food this time! Oh, Great Mother of Cats, he's taking me inside!

~*~

Gandalf discovered Saruman was in league with Sauron. They duelled, and Gandalf ended up imprisoned in Orthanc. Gingerhead hissed and spat at Saruman, who kicked him up to Orthanc too.

Needless to say Gingerhead was beside himself.

~*~

Gingerhead's POV.

In later lives, I think the account of the duel between the two wizards will highly impress the females of my species and thus increase my chances of more offspring to take over the world. For now, I am really, really annoyed.

White Wizard gave Grey Wizard a good spanking, before he threw him up here. I couldn't stay aside, of course. No one has the right to beat my servant than me. So I told him exactly that.

I suppose he missed the point. The White Wizard is not so wise, after all. He thought I was defending my master. If he were as wise as he claims to be, he would know that cats don't have masters. We have servants. We are not dogs or horses.

Speaking of horses, I am getting hungry. The Grey Wizard was deeply touched by the thought that I tried to defend him. I will allow him to believe that. Let him die happily. If he dies unhappy, the meat will taste gross afterwards.

~*~

Many days passed and Gandalf was still imprisoned. So was Gingerhead, who had been feeding off flying insects. Finally, Gandalf sent word to the Windlord.

And Gingerhead was very, very hungry...

~*~

Gingerhead's POV.

Great Mother of all Cats, please, explain to this kitten what has he done to end up in this life? I am hungry. I dream of chicken breasts and thick cream and fish fresh from the stream. These damned moths have hardly any meat on them. At least the wizard was kind enough to summon a faint light to attract them, so I can have my snacks.

I am still eating him when he dies, thought.

I walk to the edge and check below. Wow! That's a long way down. I wonder how many of my remaining lives it will cost me to jump down. Probably all of them.

I think I see a bird approaching. That's a big bird. A very big bird. With equally big drumsticks.

Hey, Birdie, want to be my friend?

Oh, no. Please, not this. Oh, the humiliation! Oh, the horror! Great Mother of all the Cats, if I could be spared this, I promise I won't eat another bird for, well, a week.

No such luck. The wizard jumped on the eagle's back, dragging me along. Me, the terror of pigeons and sparrows, escaping on the wings of a bird. A very huge eagle, the king of eagles, but still a bird.

I wonder if I can just have a bite. Probably not. It is still a long way down. And judging by the glimpse in its eyes, I think he finds me just as tempting.

How could I ever forget that eagles are carnivores as well? Gingerhead, it is time for a strategic retreat. Hide in the wizard's robes and do not make a sound.

~*~

On the wings of Gwaihir, Gandalf reached Rivendell in safety. Elrond welcomed him and Gingerhead was ecstatic to finally meet the elves. And his long delayed supper, of course.

~*~

Gingerhead's POV.

At last. Peace, quiet, food and rest. And elves! I knew I should come here in the first place! I have put up my best effort to act cute, hoping they will keep me here.

There seems to be one problem, though. The Bossy Elf-Lord who runs things around here. He's not buying my act. This one is not easy to fool. I suppose I need a different approach in this case. And behold, here she comes; his daughter.

Oh, she's pretty! And soft, and smells nice. And naturally, my feline charm wins her heart right away. I have always had great success with the ladies. She brought me treats and a soft cushion.

Don't look at me like that, wizard. How should I know I was supposed to sleep on it? I thought it was for claw practice. That's why I shred it to pieces right away. You should be proud of me; I did it in record time. Besides, I don't need cushions to sleep on. That's why I have you. Cushions do not scream when I knead them with my razor sharp claws in the middle of the night.

The pretty Elf-Lady asks from her father to keep me. He declines. I am offended.

I will get to him, sooner or later.

~*~

After the assault of the Ringwraiths, Glorfindel brought wounded Frodo to Rivendell, to be treated by Lord Elrond. Gingerhead remembered the Hobbit, and tried to assist in any possible way. He spent the night on Frodo's chest and hissed at Elrond when he came back the next morning. Gandalf was amused.

"No, Smaugling, he is not here to harm Frodo. Lord Elrond is here to help him get better," the wizard tried to explain, smiling.

Elrond was not smiling.

~*~

Gingerhead's POV.

Hey, that's Frodo! What's wrong with him? Is he wounded? Will he be all right? Bossy Elf-Lord, will you do your tricks to treat him, please?

After the elf leaves, I will jump on Frodo's chest and guard him while he sleeps. If he dies, I will eat him, and better think twice before stealing my prey.

Perfect. The Bossy Elf-Lord is back. He's mine, I tell you! Mine! Go find your own dinner.

Well, what do you know? Frodo was actually healed. I may have missed a nice hobbit stew, but I am not complaining. I rather like the lad.

More hobbits came along. And a human, who smells worse than Gandalf's horse. Doesn't he ever bathe? On the other hand, I think I know why Bossy Elf-Lord won't let his daughter keep me. She already has a pet. Perhaps some elf law won't allow her to have more than one pet. It doesn't matter, really. I will try and make her dump him and adopt me in his place. I am cleaner, I am cuter and I eat less. Oh, well, I don't eat less, but she won't find out until it is too late.

Sticking with my plan, I followed her last night and saw her grooming her pet-human. That was weird. I had no idea that humans have tails too. And on the wrong side, of all places. Mine is on my back, not up front.

I jumped up, demanding to be groomed as well. The pet-human was greatly annoyed; the Elf-Lady was greatly embarrassed. The Bossy Elf-Lord rather amused, actually. I don't think he likes his daughter's pet-human much.

New plan from now on. I am following pet-human Aragorn everywhere he goes and mew loudly, attempting to get on Elf-Lord's good side.

I don't think Aragorn likes me, though. I wonder why.