"BREATHING"
Autors Notes-----First a VERY VERYYY special thanks to the song "Breathing" by Lifehouse!!! I listened to it on repeat for 5 nites in a row as I worte this.....If I didn't have this song...I probably wouldn't have been able to write it...*glares at Mina-san*
*BLUSH* I DID IT!!!! I WROTE MY FIRST LEMON!!!!!! Well.....amoung 78 e-mail requests in my yahoo box...My old best friend was amoung the many requested a story...
(*glares* Damn you Mina-san!!! *shakes fist*)
In return for all the wonderful things she has done for me I returned the favour and wrote her this story she requested so badly
Qoute-on-Quote " Kioda-san!!! Please PLEASE write me this story!!! I'll die if you don't!!! Lie down and die(quote from Stinky)" End Quote.
So like the GOOD friend I AM......I wrote it.....for those of you who read this....O.O;;;;;; well.....R&R? Please NO flames!!! I can't handle with the pain.....*whimpers*
Read and Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!! ^.~
Disclaimer----I don't own Hey Arnold! There I admitted it! I said it!!! *cries* Wish I diiiiiiddddddddd!!!!!!
______________________________________________________________
My life slowly began to spin around me...
She just stood infront of me....
and now..
she's gone...
The cold summer breeze wraps around my arms...
instead of hers...
I watched as she walked off...
crying...
hurt....
and all I did was stand here stunned..
I just couldn't think...
I still hear myself...
breathing so hard it hurts...
Its hoarse and ragged...
A simple little word I never thought I'd hate...
Leaving........
The wind blew my black button down shirt...
causing the collar of it to wip in the air...
The black tulup slipped from my fingertips..
I have it hidden behind my back...
just for her...
It was at the winter carnival that she mentioned..
she....
loved....
black tulups....
As weird as it sounds...
I wished to be that black tulup...
As she let her fingetips....
slide....
slowly over the surface....
of the tulups outter skin....
How much I wanted them just..
to carrass me once.....
She never has....
and maybe never will....
Her beautiful face leaning forward to smell its
soft perfume...
I look down at the tulip...
my love has fallen from high...
to...
low....
I feel extreme pain in my chest....
I grab at where my heart would be...
I collapese...
I can't even bare to hold my own weight up...
Leaving...
I hear her beautiful voice in my head....
My tears fall onto where my 3 top buttons where undone...
Falling into a pit of blackness....
I grip fistfuls of grass...
and dirt...
I feel more pain under my nails...
my blood slides out onto the grass and stains it..
from green to red....
I punch the ground...
I need her.....
I can't let her go...
It was last winter...
We all thought that our Grade 11 winter carnival would be winterless...
But it then instantly began to snow....
I watched her as she spined as the snow softly drifted down to her...
she smiled up at the sky as her long blond hair blew off her shoulders and
behind her.....
Her beautiful blue eyes sparkling with excitement...
The bully....
is just a memory of the past....
The lovely...
is now the reality...
Her pink earmuffs covering her ears...
and her pink gloves...
forming a small snowball...
I never noticed as I was intoxicated by her beauty...
I have loved her for a year and a half....
And she's.....
Leaving............
I wipe my eyes...
As I remember her beautiful smile....
I stand weakly..
I must go to Gerald's party...
I must be strong....
........Leaving.......
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I stand in front of my mirror...
I stare at face full of sadness...
and pain....
I take a breath and hold on tight to my sanity...
I'm leaving....
I've told him....
And he didn't even reply...
I knew he would never love me...
So I've never told him...
It would just end up in him not loving me....
I apply the silver eyeliner....
and then the frosty soft pink eyeshadow...
My hair softly falls loosely along my shoulders...
I place a fake smile on my face...
My acting skills have only improved...
I can mask my feelings in the blink of an eye now...
I stand up in my sleeveless dress...
It is white at the top but then as you move down mixes into a dark pink as it sparkled....
beautifully.....
It was to be a slightly formal party...
I give myself one final look in the mirror and begin to walk...
I walk sadly and alone as I rear a corner and bump into a firmilar body...
He doesn't move his body....
He grabs me in his arms before I fall over...
His arms feel almost....loved?
I look up and see...
the man of my dreams.....
His bangs pulled down tight to the sides o his face
as his hair rose up like fire in the back....
His loose black button up shirt slightly open
as I see his slightly muscled chest...
and loose black jeans with a silver chain running from butt to hip....
Lately...
He has been dressing really sexily....
Helga....
he soflty speaks my name....
Yes..I say....
Sorry for...um....almost knocking you over...
It's ok
I reply
He then lets me go...
Going to Gerald's?
Yup...
he replys awardly....
Of course he will be...
he was the first and only to hear of my depature.....
he never answered....
But I believe that he dosen't care....
that he'd rather see me go then stay.....
..........he doesn't care............
~*~*~*~*~*~
We walk together...
I still feel...
the warmth,,
the tingle sensation of her skin along my sleeveless arms....
Please.....
I hear her speak....
don't...tell...anyone Arnold....
I frown
She didn't call me Football head...
Even after everything changed she always kept that nickname for me....
After a while I realized....
Its a name just for me....
And that is how Helga showed she cared....
But that was before.....
Helga changed ever since she started going to her phyciaterist...
She was teased...
But me
Gearld
and Phoebe
stood by her.....
We always will...
She stops...
and looks up at me with her beautiful blue eyes....
My heart stops....
She's so beautiful....
Her tears fall onto her pink dress...
She grabs my shirt on both sides...
and cries on my chest....
H...H...Helga?
Please.....your the only one that knows...
she looks up at me...
tears falling freely as her warm hands touch my chest....
I shiver from the touch
She cries pleading with me more
shaking her head as her tears float off her eyes and into the wind..
PLEASE!!!!!
I then do the thing I've always wanted to...
My arms held her to my chest as she wept.....
~*~*~*~*~*~
I widen my eyes...
his arms encirlce small waist....
and pull me close to his chest...
I softly weep...
I can't bare leaving everyone...
espically you....
my love.....
My thoughts speak so openly...
If only I could
I feel his caring embarce...
my cheek softly pressed against his chest...
his beautiful smell...
intoxicates me....
my tears stop flowing as my heart skips a beat...
I feel his cheek against my head...
I hear him take in a deep breath....
And his hand press against my back...
Pulling me closer...
Helga...
I hear him whisper...
My heart races...
I can't take this...
Everything I've always wanted is happening...
My head feels so light...
My breath stops...
I look up at him...
and softly cry out...
as
my
world
turns
black.....
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I sit outside her door...
Is she ok?
Its all my fault!!
I just stood there and watched her fall...
fall out from my arms...
To the ground.....
my fault...
maybe
I hugged to to tight...
I made her lose her breath
my fault....
my back is pressed against the wall outside her door...
My knees against my forehead...
Aflred?
Her father...
I look up as my eyes cloudy from the tears I sheded...
I stand...
Thankyou...
Big Bob saying thankyou!!!???
She's ok....
becuase of you.....
He pats my shoulder and begins to walk down the hall as he puts on his coat and leaves the house.......
I'm speechless...
My back slides back down the wall as my butt hits the floor..
She's ok....becuase of me....
I hear a slide and a thump against the door...
I reach up and turn the handle..
NO!
I hear her voice from inside....
Helga....I...
Don't speak.....
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I hear him outside the door on the floor...
Arnold....
I'm confused...
I'm hearing so many voices inside my head
I grab my head...
tears threating to fall...
I whisper...
Which one is you....
I'm right here Helga I'll always be....
Do you remember that song a little while back
It was your faveorite...
How do I know?
Becuase I listened to every little thing that you've said for the past 2 years...
Helga...
I...
need...to...tell...you....
The doorhandle shakes..
NO!
You can't see me...
Not like this.....
I hear his arm slide back down away from the knob...
I hear him softly whisper a few words....
His voice is the most beautiful thing I've ever heard....
I look back on the first time I heard the song...
It was last year at our Junior prom...
No one wanted to dance with me....
I tried to look as beautiful as I could...
To aleast come off as attractive....
Guys....I knew...Guys...I didn't know..
passed right by me.....
I stared at the floor....
My soft pink shoes on the gymnasium floor...
I listen to the most beautiful song I've heard in a long time....
I then see two black shiny shoes stand at the tips of my pink ones...
I look up...
Arnold?
I whisper softly...
He takes my hand softly and lifts it...
His eyes so intense....
So beautifully green....
I don't know how to slow dance...
I whisper slowly...
Its ok....
I'll teach you...
I step on his foot as he looks down at me and laffs..
I didn't think you were that bad Helga....
I giggle...
I'm finally dancing with my love...
probably the last I ever will......
The top of my head touches just the bend of his shoulder...
My he's grown...
as we softly dance...
then some nerd ran by and snaped a photo of us..
and put it in the year book...
Our friends teased us...
I couldn't help but blush as I then walked away as calm as I could....
I then passed Arnold...
When he said Hi
I didn't even acknowledge him...
I've always been terrible.....
to my love....
I snap back and here him still singing....
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Cuz I am Hanging....
On every word your saying...
Even if you don't wanna speak tonight...
Thats alright...
Alright with me...
Cuz I won't nothing more..
Then to sit outside Heaven's door...
And listening to you breathing....
Is where I wanna be......
Yeah...yeah...yeah......
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I whisper so softly that I barely hear myself....
As my hand touches the door....
....................
I
love
you......
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I touch the door and feel so close to her....
I whisper softly...
I
love
you
Helga...
I then feel the door open...
I fall ontop of her as she hits the ground hard...
HELGA!!!
ARE YOU OKAY!!!?!?!?!?!
Her breathing hard...
Arnold....I.....
She's beautiful...
Her blond hair...
spred across the carpet....
Her eyes intenesly looking up at me...
as I look down at her....
I feel my head lower...
my lips touch hers....
soft....
her eyes widen and appear....
scared....
As they shake with fear....
I close my eyes...
as my hand slides up her arm and into her hand....
my fingers intertwine with her soft delicate hands....
Her lips soft and hot...
I pour the emotions...
The ones I can't say....
I feel her lips become less stiff as they become soft...
Like as they melted...
I stop kissing her and look away...
My body close to hers...
above hers...
I feel her warmth....
her beautiful warmth...
I feel a hand come up and touch my cheek....
to turn my face to hers.....
Her expression...
Innocent....
godess like...
she slowly slides her soft fingers along my lips....
I tremble under her touch....
I then snap up and remove myself from above her...
The intense passion we held created a firmilar....
stiffness...
that I always get when I think intimately about....
her.....
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I open the door...
he falls on top of me...
I'm completely shoked...
and the breath was taken from me....
HELGA
ARE YOU OKAY?!?!
I breathe heavily....
Arnold.....I....
He looks my face over....
From my hair to my face...
I know I look terrible...
please don't making it obvious...
I stare up at him...
Seeing something in his eyes.....
I've....never.....seen...before........
He lowers his head....
very slowly....
I then feel his lips touch mine...
My eyes widen with suprize as my body sets ablaze...
I look up at him...
A new found terror sets in...
My Arnold....
Arnold is kissing me.....
I then feel perfect....
His body contured to fit against my body perfectly....
His hand slides up my arm and into my palm.....
His fingers intertwine with mine...
My lips give in....
His lips overflowing mine with his emontion....
I softly go to kiss back but he pulls his lips away....
and looks to the side....
His blond goresious hair falls infront of his eyes...
there are no lights on....
My room is dark but I can tell something is wrong...
What have I done?
I feel like I'm burning....
Theres so much heat between us....
I don't know what to do....
My hand subconsciencly touches his cheek...
My fingers slide over his lips....
He shudders at this....
Before I can ask him if he's ok....
He bolts off of me...
Acting almost as if he was burned....
He sits against the wall...
He's knees pulled tightly to his chest...
He softly rocks and then sighs deeply....
I sit up....
My hair softly touches my back....
Whats wrong?
I want to ask....but don't....
He looks at the floor.....
Am I that puturid...?
He can't even look at me....
Its only natural that he's acting like that...
Its me Helga....
No one ever will forget the old me...
He knows he kissed me....
And thats what is killing him...
The humiliation of kissing me.....
I crawl over to him.....
I have to at least apoligize....
I crawl over on my hands and knees and sit on my legs when I reach him...
He doesn't even know I'm there...
I go to lean forward and whisper sorry but a pain hits in my calf...
I fall forward.....
He catches me
inbetween his legs.....
my head hits his chest....
I feel something hit my abdomin...
I look up blushing becuase I've fallen...
so stupidly....
he looks down at me his face burning insanely...
I then realize what is on my abdomin.....
My eyes widen as I panic and push away from him....
I sit across the room....
He...
it...
becuase of me?
He looks ashamed...
I'm sorry...
for everything....
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I sit there with my knees to my chest...
My eyes closed tightly...
Not now!
Of all times!!!
I once had done this in class....
I watched her body far too much that day...
I pretended I was sick and ran to the office....
Allowing only Gerald to know....
His puity was great as he was embarrassed with me FOR me....
I hear a rustle...
I look up and see her fall foward
Towards me!!!!
She falls inbetween my legs...
Her head hits my chest as her stomach hits something I'd less of desired her to find out I had right now.....
She doesn't appear to notice...
I look down...
My face....
Burning so red....almost liable to explode...
She then gets what is on her stomach as her eyes widen...
She almost flies out of my arms and across the room...
I don't blame her...
Turly not something I wanted to happen...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A minute passes...
Eturnity....
Neither one of us moves...
I'm too embarassed....
and if I am...
then surly he is....
Arnold....
I softly say...
His face lifts from his knees....
Theres something I have to.....I need to tell you....
I take a deep breath....
I....I'm.....I mean....I love you....
astonished it came out.....
Suddenly..
a GREAT weight was lifted....
I....said.....it!!!!
I quickly look down to the floor....
I then see him approach me across the floor...
He sits in front of me....
and places his index finger under my chin and lifts it to his view.....
I've loved you all my life Arnold.....
Ever since I was four....
I watch as he approaches me again...
Will he kiss me again...
My anixiousness.....
I close my eyes...
ready this time....
But I don't feel them...
Instead I hear...
I love you Helga...
So softly shivers run down my spine......
He....loves...me.......
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I sit there trying so hard to get rid of something unnessicary at the moment...
Arnold....
I hear her softly across the room...
I lift my head and stare at her through the darkness...
The only light from the full moon outside....
Theres something I have to.....I need to tell you....
My heart stops....
I....I'm.....I mean....I love you....
She looks away....
I feel myself raise and move over to her and lift her face...
I've loved you all my life Arnold.....
Ever since I was four....
I unwillingly lean forward....
whisper in the softest tone I ever have....
I love you Helga.....
I then softly kiss her neck...
she massively shudders...
I softly smile and kiss her ear...
Her skin so soft...
Her scent incredably intoxicating...
I feel her hands behind my head in my hair....
As I feel a little something touch my neck....
I try to watch as she attemps to kiss my neck in the cutest most softest kisses I've ever recieved in my life....
I smile softly and hold her face in my hands...
I love you Helga....
My forehead presses against hers...
I love you Arnold.....looks down and then snaps her head back up obviously forgetting my earilier difficulties....
My lips softly touch hers...
She melts in my arms again...
our bodies come together...
the perfect fit.....
I slide my fingers through her long hair....
I then feel bare hot skin against my arm that was around her waist....
I watch almost astowneded...
There she sits in front of me with her top off only in a bra and shorts....
I watch intensely..
I can't tear my eyes away....
Her hands move behind her back...
I gulp...
The pain increasses between my legs....
I watch as the fabric loosely falls to the floor...
I stare at her bare flesh....
Her breast much larger then I have fantasized...
Her hair behind her shoulders as she looks at me...
She moves forward as I sit there feeling like a dead weight....
I feel her soft kisses along my neck...
I softly moan unable to conseal them no longer...
her hands grab the hem of my shirt....
and pull my shirt over my head....
she soft hot kisses continue along my chest...
I breath heavy...
I can't seem to catch my breathe....
I close my eyes and let my most loved fantasy come real.....
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I softly kiss along his chest....
Am I really doing this...
And espically with Arnold....
My lips kiss along his naked chest...
the muscles under his skin shift...
as I continue...
my lips trail lower and onto his stomach...
his barely visible four pack shudders under my fingers...
my hands sliding over his upper chest....
My lips finding there way easily...
His flesh burning....
I then feel his arms encirle my waist and pull me to his chest...
I'd just explored....
My breasts colliding against his heeving chest.....
his arms then take under my legs as I feel myself being lifted...
He looks down at me....
and places me on my bed.....
he then lyes on top of me...
trying not to harm me with his body weight....
His eyes deeply looking into mine....
Helga....are...you...
I understand what his question is...
I place my fingers upon his lips and nod softly...
I've waited forever for you.....
I whisper....
His mouth then softly covers mine with the softest most arousing french kiss...
My hands intangle themselves into his hair as his mouth...
moves along my neck...
He softly kisses a trail down the middle of my breasts...
I close my eyes and bite my lower lip....
his hands then place themselves on my ribs....
as he kisses lower on my stomach...
I then feel something hot against my flesh...
His tongue slides back up as he kisses along my breasts neglecting my nipples...
His lips then instantly covers my left nipple...
His tongue softly moving across it...
A moan escapes my lips...
My mouth unable to contain it any longer....
His mouth then moves to my right breast...
I dunno if I can take much more....
My body burns with every touch....
My lower lip raw from my teeth.....
This can't be happening....
I'm making love to.....you!
My breath leaves me again for almost the fourth time....
His mouth so skilled....
so perfect.....
His eyes then returned to mine...
Filled with passion and love....
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I softly lye her on the bed....
Making sure she is comfortable....
I slide up on top of her...
I try not to crush her fragile frame with my body...
I try to speak...
Helga.....are....you
but before I could say another word.....
her fingers were pressed against my lips to hush me....
I've waited forever for you....
I hear her whisper...
Her voice and words sends a shiver along my spine....
I then feel myself kissing her soft lips....
Her fingers in through my hair....
I hesitantly begin to kiss a trail from her neck to inbetween her breats...
I place my hands just above her narrow waist on her ribs....
I kiss along her abdomin....
I then slide my tongue back towards her breasts....
So large and soft....
I would have never imagined them to be like this...
I kiss along them wondering to kiss her nipples....
My lips cover her left nipple quickly....
I allow my tongue to slide over it a few times....
I stiffen as I hear the most softest moan escape her parted lips....
I move to her right breast....
Following the same flow...
I feel her gasp....
I higher my head and look into her eyes to see my answer....
Her eyes filled with nothing more other then complete.....
love.....
I slowly lower my head again as I begin to pasionately kiss her...
My body shudders from her soft finger tips slide across my back....
I feel her hands slide along my stomach...
Her eyes never leaving mine....
I feel a soft tug at my waist....
I blush....
She unbuckles my pants and slides her hands to my tailbone and pushes my pants and boxers down...
I stare into her eyes....
A slight couriousity sparks instantly as I throw them to the floor....
I stiffen more....
The heat from her body making my erection only larger.....
My finger tips....
trail....
Across her breasts softly sliding agaisnt her hardened nipples...
Across her smooth stomach to her shorts....
my fingers fumble...
they unzip slowly...
my fingers at her hips move inbetween her skin and her pants....
I pull down slowly as her legs slide slowly out of the holes....
I toss them aside in the pile of discarded clothes.....
I feel a single finger tip slide down my erection....
I softly moan.....
Does she know what she does to me?
My arms shake as they almost collapese....
I feel her fingers softly guide me....
Her long legs slide around my waist....
One hand on my shoulder...
pulling me towards her....
The other guiding me to her opening....
Her hand leaves my erection.....
She looks into my eyes....
telling me she's ready.....
I slowly inch forward into her...
I wait for a second as I know of her innocence...
My pulse quickening...
My lower half needing to be more inside her....
I inch in about four more inches...
She cries out in pain....
Her fingers grabbing at the bed sheets...
I'm sorry...
I whisper into her ear..
I stand still inside her and kiss along her neck....
Her pain ceasing....
I then slide in my other five inches...
Her extreme tightness forming around me as I moan in pleasure....
I watch as I fill her with more pain....
I whince as her nails dig themselves into my flesh...
Tears sliding down her beautiful cheeks....
Its okay my love...
I whisper again.....
Kissing away her tears.....
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I guide him towards my opening...
My heart pumping a mile a minute...
I feel his tip enter me....
I need more....
I plead in my mind....
I then remember...
His virginity....
He may be scared....
I then feel suddenly filled....
My lower stomach begins to hurt....
I cry out in pain.....
I grab at the bed sheets for comfort....
I'm sorry he whispers....
He remains still for what seems forever....
My insides adjusting to his size....
Instantly I feel more pain slide into me...
My nails dig into his back....
my lower stomach feeling about to rip apart...
Suprizingly tears form in my eyes and slide down my cheeks...
Its ok my love he whispers again softly kissing away my tears....
I feel his body shake.....
His heavy breathing....
Am I hurting you my love?
I was in to much pain to be concerned of him....
Are you ok my love......
he whispers...
I nod....
I feel him hold himself up with his arms...
the fullness of me hurts.....
all of a sudden I feel empty.....
then full.....
the pain slowly moving away.....
as it begins to be replaced with a sensation...
I've never felt before.....
He pulls out for the fifth time and back in.....
I moan uncontrollably....
the pleasure overwelming.....
His beautiful face above me....
I watch as he moves up and down very slowly....
His moans continuous...
filled with pleasure.....
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I move slowly inside of her.....
I can't help but not conseal my moans....
I watch as her head tilts back as she cries out in pure pleasure....
She slightly arches her back....
I kiss along her throat....
I feel hot as I feel I might explode.....
I look down at Helga a soft smile across her face as she holds onto the pillow beneath her golden locks and cries out my name....
My eyes widen....
My head bows and carrasses her breasts with my mouth....
I then feel her collapes onto me...
Her walls closing in on me.....
Her back raises completely off the bed as she moans.....
I then feel myself feel like as if a great wall of pleasure hits me full force...
I shake as I go completely weak....
I moan out as the pleasure drags on.....
I then look down at my lover....
Her face flushed as her chest raises and falls....
tiny little beads of sweat along her forehead....
I let out a sigh of exhastgin.....
I slide carefully out of her...
She whinces....
I lye on my back and pull her close to me...
she rests her cheek and a hand on my chest...
I place my arms around her...
I show my protection of my lover to no one but the room...
My fingers slowly slide through her soft hair....
I hear her soft breathing....
I kiss the top of her head gently....
Goodnight my love.........
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
My sight shaked as a title wave of pleasure smached on top of me....
My back arched back as I cried out....
I heard him moan differently...
then I felt it.....
him flow into me.....
I pant softly as he shakes above me.....
I look up at the most cherished and most beloved thing to me....
and we just made love.....
His face tired as beads of sweat slide from his temples.....
He lets out a sigh of exhaustgin....
He slowly slides himself from out of me...
I can't help but whince....
He lyes on his back and draws me close to him....
I rest my cheek and palm on his chest........
I softly drift off into a peaceful sleep....
As I drift I hear softly Goodnight my love.....
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I wake up in the same position I feel asleep in ......
There she was.......
A godess....
She sat in my black button down shirt....
Far to long for her as it reaches her mid-lower thigh barely above her knees....
She sits at her night stand and combs her hair softly humming to herself....
She then stops and walks across the room...
I grab her wrist and startle her...
as she jolts.....
Unaware I was awake....
I pull her on top of me....
Her giggles.....
like music to me.....
a large strand of soft blond hair flows down to me...
I tuck it behind her ear.....
I kiss her lips quickly...
and then begin to french kiss her slowly....
Her body melting into my arms...
I smirk....
Helga......live with me.....
Her eyes grow wide.....
Her smile fades....
I worry on the inside....
Her expression changes as her smile becomes humungous...
I love you Arnold...
She squeals...
I smile.....
Leaving is no longer a word I must fear.....
Love is the new word I can't help but love......................................