Eventually her crying stopped. She remained against his chest for a while longer, basking in his warmth and revelling in his gentle touch. She pulled herself away from him and he loath to release her. She wiped her face with her hands and held back her fallen hair. Without a word she stood shakily. Mulder jumped up with her, his hand resting on the small of her back.
She glanced at him, a faint blush blending into her deathly pale complexion. She walked towards the bathroom as Mulder reached for the phone.
"Skinner, it's Mulder, I have a situation here."
Mulder explained what had happened and tried to tell him what he found. Skinner arranged fro the search team to meet at Padgetts apartment and told Mulder he'd send an ambulance around to check out Scully.
As Mulder replaced the phone she stepped from the bathroom, her face was redder now from what he imagined was a vigorous scrubbing, as she tried to erase any traces of her traitorous tears. He watched her as she sat heavily into the couch, a sigh escaping as her hands covered her face.
"What happened?" he asked, oblivious to the blood that stained his own t-shirt.
"I…I'm not sure," she barely whispered.
"Did you…eh…check…your…," he stammered.
"Yes, I did. No wounds," she sighed, letting a hand rest on her chest. "But this is my blood, it doesn't make sense Mulder, I felt it, my heart…" Another sob settled in her chest and he went to her. Pushing the equipment away he sat on the table in front of her.
"It's okay, you're okay," he told her, taking both of her hands in his own.
"I want to go home," she muttered, her head hung low.
"I want to take you, but I have to meet the search team and start them off, explain what happened. There should be an ambulance here any minute to take a look at you, then we can go."
"I'm fine Mulder, I don't need an ambulance, I need to go home."
"No, I want to take you. You don't need to talk to the ambulance but please wait for me to take you." He squeezed her hands causing her to look up, "Please let me take you?" She gave him a small smile and rested back into the couch.
Mulder spoke quickly with the search team about where Padgett might have gone, but as he stepped into the basement explaining what had happened, he saw the body.
"I guess we found him," he said, as he knelt over the body, careful not to stand on any of the blood that pooled on the floor.
"I'll sort out the coroner, you can take her home."
Mulder looked up to see Skinner walking into the basement. He stood and met him at the bottom of the stairs.
"Did you speak to her?"
"No, I think I'll wait till she's ready to give me her report. How is she doing?"
"Not too bad, if it was me, I'd be cracking up."
"She's a strong woman."
Skinner stood away from the stairs and walked over to where the body lay. Mulder watched as he took control, ordering the team ready for the forensics. Mulder raced up stairs to where he found Scully waiting on the couch. Her head was turned to the window and he stood and stared at her for a moment.
"You ready?" he said softly, as he slipped into his jacket.
Turning slowly to face him he saw the tell tale line of fallen tears, but he said nothing.
"Yeah."
The drive was short and she sat and stared silently out the window. Her blouse and jacket were held closed tight, her arms were folded around her chest. He noticed that she was shivering as they pulled up outside her apartment. He rushed around to her side of the car and held them against him as they went in.
"I'm okay Mulder,"
"Scully, you're in shock," he said as he led her into her bedroom and sat her onto the bed. He pulled the blanket up around her shoulders.
"I'll run a bath for you. Stay warm," he threw over his shoulder as he left the room.
Soon she heard the sound of the running water. Smiling slightly she took off her boots. With the blanket still wrapped around her shoulders she walked over to the wardrobe and pulled out her dressing gown. She tossed it onto the bed with the blanket and slipped off her jacket. Dropping it onto the floor she opened her blouse and let it fall to her feet. Her blood was still partially on her skin, tracing faint red lines up her chest and on her neck. She gently rubbed her chest where the five finger sized bruises were already starting to emerge, and she felt a small twinge of pain as she pressed them.
"Hey Scully…strawberry or Jasmine bath gel?" Mulder asked as he walked into the room holding up both bottles. "Oh…sorry,"
She didn't turn when he entered but he could see the marks on her chest in her reflection on the mirror in front of her. Before she could accuse him of staring her looked away and left the room. Scully removed the rest of her clothes and slipped into her robe. She closed it tightly around her chest as she went into the bathroom. Mulder was perched on the edge of the bath, his shirt sleeves pulled up to his elbows as he idly stirred the bubbles into the water.
"Bubbles?" she said with a surprised smile.
He jumped at the sound of her voice and noticed her soft, sad smile. "Yeah. Bubbles." He stood and dried his hands on the wash towel. "Can I get you anything? Coffee?"
"I'd really like a beer"
"One beer coming up." He charged in to the kitchen and rummaged in the fridge before pulling out one of the bottles from the six-pack. "Import? Eww Scully!"
He knocked slightly on the door and entered when she called him. He handed her the opened bottle, his eyes dancing at the sight of her sunken into the water. The urge to strip and join her was all but overwhelming.
"I'll be out here," he blurted out and left, closing the door softly behind him.
He sat in front f the TV switching it aimlessly as he waited. Finally settling on a baseball game he sat back and sipped his beer. He tried not to think of her in the next room washing the dried blood from her body. Surprised at the level of anger he felt when he remembered the bruises that lined her chest. A painful reminder of an already painful event. He pushed the picture from his mind, knowing that he could never forget it, but hoping that she would.
It wasn't long before he heard the bath draining. She emerged surrounded by billows of steam. With a small smile at him she retreated to her room. He could hear her shuffling around as she dressed and he mused at the comfort he felt in it.
"Would you like something to eat?" she said suddenly standing by him, still rubbing her hair with a towel. She was wearing her soft cotton red and black check pyjama bottoms and a plain black tee-shirt. He thought she looked beautiful and at last a little bit more relaxed.
"Sure…"
She sat by him on the couch and after a minute of watching the game in silence he turned to her.
"Do you want to tell me about what happened?" he said softly.
She didn't reply and for a minute Mulder thought he upset her.
"I was about to run after you but I had to put my shoes on," she began, her eyes looking down to her fidgeting hands. "When I got up and opened the door there was a man standing there." She could feel Mulder's eyes on her but refused to look at him, to show him the tears that she wouldn't let fall.
"he barged in and tackled me to the floor and sat on top of me…he…he pushed his hand into my blouse and then…into…into my chest."
Mulder sat unmoving as she spoke his fists clenching as his anger that blew beneath the surface.
"I could feel him Mulder," she glanced at him, and was surprised by the concern that lay openly on his face. "I could feel his hand closing around my heart, I could feel my heart beating against his palm."
She looked away as he reached out to touch her. He placed an arm around her back and pulled her against his chest, into his embrace.
"I pulled out my gun," she continued, "and I shot him, point blank into his chest…I emptied the chamber, but it had no effect…nothing…"
Suddenly she fell forward onto her knees her hands clutching her chest.
"Oh my god," she cried, "my heart…he took my heart."
"Scully…Scully" Mulder knelt beside her, "Stop, it's okay" he tried to push her back onto the couch. She reached her hands around her neck and he held her again. This time her sobs were silent but a soft trembling shook her body. As the trembling subsided he lifted her into her bedroom, pulling the blankets back he gently placed her into the bed. He pulled the covers up around her and tucked her in tightly. Lifting up the bloody clothes he put them into her laundry basket and went into the kitchen to fetch a glass of water. He placed it on her bed side table and took a moment to watch her resting. He went to leave but she called out his name.
"Yeah?" he bent over by the bed and looked into her eyes.
"Don't go, I'm so scared of being alone…" He nodded and she pushed up to make room for him. He sat on the bed and slipped off his shoes. Sitting back against the headrest he smiled as she turned into his body and rested against him. He reached an arm down the length of her body and watched her. She dozed fitfully and with every jump she made he held her closer, tighter, a waft of jasmine filling his senses as he did so.
She awoke much later. A soft glow from the clock told her it was 1.30am. Mulder's arm felt heavy against her body, but it was warm and comforting. She shifted his body and she could see that he had fallen asleep, his breathing was slow and steady a soft snore escaping every now and then.
Just then he awoke and she watched as his brain tried to process where he was. Smiling she waited for him to look down at her.
"Hey…" he said sleepily as their eyes met.
"Hey." Slowly she sat up.
"You slept, eventually."
"Yeah, you too."
"No, I was awake, just thinking…"
"Sure…"
"How are you feeling?"
"Better," she said plainly, "Thanks."
"Anytime." He replied softly, reaching out and squeezing her hand. "Now…I'm starving…time for food."
"It's half one…"
"I know I'm starving."
Within the hour he had collected the food and she followed him as he carried the bags into the kitchen table.
"Think you got enough?" she joked as she saw the amount of food he pulled from the bags. They ate in companionable silence and she was surprised an how much they got through.
"I guess I was hungrier than I thought."
They cleaned up quickly and Scully took the bottle of wine into the front room.
"How are you feeling?" he asked her as he watched her, her eyes distant, her thought evasive.
"I'm…I'm scared."
"Scared of what?"
She swirled the wine around in her glass and watched the patterns it made. "I spent so long…building walls, hiding my self away, not getting involved and working hard to move up in the FBI…" she let out a short laugh, "But now…it's all gone."
"Gone? What do you mean?"
She watched him for a moment before tearing her eyes away. "I had to work really hard for everything. I don't mean struggling with my studies but for the respect, the same respect you simply command by donning a suit and carrying an FBI Badge."
"I dunno if it's respect I command, or ridicule," he said lightly.
"It wasn't easy for me. Qualifying for the FBI field, but still wanting to be a woman."
Annoyed now she stood and began pacing. "Not just a woman…a beautiful woman."
"But you are," he whispered incredulously, watching her pace.
"I lay on that floor and the walls that I build deliberately, to keep my own emotions in as much as anyone else's out, were smashed…by…by some monster." Her voice continued to rise and she ended up shouting.
Mulder stood and stepped into her pace line. He took her wine glass away from her and put it elsewhere.
"Scully…Dana…" she sneered and looked away but with one hand resting on her shoulder he turned her face with the other one, holding her chin between his thumb and forefinger.
"You are very beautiful. You are the strongest, most confident and independent woman I know…and all of these attributes are part of an amazing picture. Along with your soft red hair," he lifted up a hand and touched it, tucking a stray lock behind her ear, "your delicious smell," leaning closer to her he took in a deep breath and exhaled slowly, immersing himself fully into her, "And your fantastic smile," he smiled warmly at her hoping she'd return the gesture.
Scully blushed and blinked away the tears that fought their way out.
"Anyway," he said, "you can't say you've not let anybody get close to you…what about me?"
"It's different Mulder…you're…you!"
"I dunno how to take that."
Playfully she slapped his arm and smiled shyly at him.
"I've been working with you for years, you probably know me better than anyone else."
"And you me."
"But that's not what I meant."
"Explain to me…tell me what you meant."
"Ever since I was in high school I knew that my looks, the fact that I was female, would dictate how people would treat me. And I made a decision to work hard and get what I wanted out of life before I stopped…to smell the roses as it were."
"And then you got dumped on the X-Files and everything went to shit?" he muttered.
"I have to admit that the X-Files were not part of my plan, but now…"
"Now? Now what?"
"Now they are a huge part of my life and without them I would have to re-assess…well…everything."
She looked up at him as she finished her sentence and caught the look of surprise that raced across his face.
Everything…" he repeated after her.
He pulled her into a soft embrace and swayed with her gently as they stood in her living room. Moving his head and rested it on her shoulder. He was surprised at the feel of her lips against his neck and the spot that they touched flamed hot when she pulled away. Turning his head slightly he saw her mouth was inches away from his own and without a second thought he closed the distance.
The kiss was soft and light but surpassed any friendly kiss they had shared before. Lasting long enough to make her wonder, but ending before it turned into something else.
He stepped away from her and held her head in his hands, his thumbs rubbing her temples softly.
"You know that guy could never have taken your heart," he said quietly.
"Why?" she whispered, his eyes never leaving hers.
"Because I have it. I always will. I won't let anyone hurt you…ever." He kissed her forehead and held her close, kissing the top of her head as her arms snaked around his body pulling him ever closer.
She smiled and let him sway her gently loving the way the taste and sensation of his lips lingered on her own. This time the walls might stay down, she thought, this time she'd try living without them.