Chapter 2

As Mara began shutting down her ship's systems, she asked herself again why she had come to Yavin IV. Spending quality time with Luke Skywalker ranked right up there on her list of fun ways to pass the time with watching a Gamorrean eat dinner. The man was insufferable. If he wasn't constantly nagging her to complete her Jedi training, he was wandering around with a black cloud hanging over his head.

She remembered seeing holos of the young Jedi before and during the war. He had been young, idealistic and naive, but he had a fire inside him that made him instantly likable. So full of life and raw emotion. Ready to take on the entire Empire single-handed. Then Darth Vader came. Skywalker was never the same after Cloud City. He lost more than just his hand that fateful day he learned his father was alive and second-in-command of the Empire he and the rebels were trying to overthrow.

War tends to make people grow up fast. Though Skywalker lost much of his boyish exuberance, he still held on to his idealistic views of the galaxy. He believed everyone could be saved. Always exuding his aggravatingly calm, mature and reserved demeanor, he believed and fought for a better galaxy. He maintained his optimism for several years after the Battle of Endor, through the Crime Lord Wars, Grand Admiral Thrawn and the dark Jedi Master Cy'Both. Until Callista.

The day Callista left, Skywalker lost whatever small shred of optimism he still held for the galaxy. He became moody, despondent and depressed. He shut himself away from everyone, even his family, for months at a time only to resurface briefly to once again save the galaxy from power-hungry individuals set on destroying the New Republic the Alliance had worked so long and hard to rebuild.

Skywalker's pain and loss were palpable. They stung Mara as if it were her own pain she was feeling. This was yet another reason she had stayed as far from Yavin as possible. She yawned. When was the last time she had gotten a decent night's sleep? For several months, sleep seemed to come easy enough to her, but as soon as she felt herself drift off, she found herself in the midst of terrifying nightmares. She hadn't had nightmares like those since she had finally purged the Emperor from her brain. She suspected that Skywalker probably had something to do with that too.

As Mara descended the landing platform, she spotted a familiar form striding toward her. She allowed herself a small smirk. Even 15 years after the war, 11 years of marriage and three kids, Han Solo still hadn't lost his characteristic strut. Mara noticed another smaller figure following close behind him trying to imitate her father's carefree swagger.

"Hey, Mara!" Han called to her. "I thought I heard your ship was docking here."

"Hello, Solo," she replied with a slight upturn of her lips. "So what brings you here?"

"Ah, you know, I was on my way to pick up Anakin from his camping trip on Agamar, thought I'd check up on the squirt twins since it was on my way." He gave his daughter's hair a small ruffle.

"Dad!" There was no mistaking the half-warning, half-pleading note in the girl's voice. Her deep brown eyes glared up at her father. She looked almost exactly like Leia at her age. He shrugged it off.

"You've turned into quite the house-husband, Solo," Mara taunted him.

"Hey," he exclaimed with a look of wounded pride. "I'll have you know that I am still the same scoundrel I always was."

"Take it easy, Solo. Look, people change. It's not a crime." An awkward silence fell on the group. The past few years had seen a definite softening in attitude toward her, but she still didn't feel entirely comfortable around Solo. She suspected that he still did not fully trust her not to kill his brother-in-law. She turned her attention to the girl at his side. "So, Jaina, how are you?"

The girl grinned but quickly tried to subdue it, playing it cool. "Fine. It sounds like you've integrated the new JB-14 thrusters into the Fire's engine manifolds. She should be able to flip on speck of space dust."

Mara's eyebrows shot up in surprise. She could tell Jaina was trying to impress her with her knowledge of ship systems, and to be honest, she did just that. The JB-14s weren't even out on the market yet, but Jaina seemed to know all about them. She was quick. Mara gave her a small smile. "Maybe you'd like to help me pilot on my next shipment run."

This time Jaina couldn't contain the gleeful expression that spread across her face. Hers was a look of awe, surprise and honor wrapped up into one dark-haired ten-year-old who desperately wanted to impress Mara with how grown-up she was.

If Jaina was surprised at the offer, Mara was completely shocked at herself. She didn't let anyone fly Jade's Fire. If she had two broken legs, was blind, and her hands were amputated, she would still refuse to let anyone touch her precious ship. For some unknown reason, she had developed a soft spot for the kid standing in front of her who had developed a kind of hero worship of her. She glanced at the girl in front of her and realized she wouldn't be a kid for very much longer.

"Maybe in a few years," Han interrupted, ignoring the pleading look from his daughter. "So what brings you here anyway? Have you finally decided to throw in with these crazy wizards?"

"Hardly," she snorted. Solo never took the Jedi very seriously. He believed in doing things the old-fashioned way. If you needed a tool to fix the hyperdrive, you carried the toolbox to the access hatch. You didn't levitate it. For that Mara had a grudging respect for him. "I came to see Skywalker about something."

"Well, I don't think Master Sunshine is taking visitors today," Solo quipped. He quickly turned serious. "You know, I love the kid, but sometimes I think I could have better conversations with a rock. I may not be Force-sensitive, but the kid has got doom and gloom written all over his face. And frankly, I'm not sure how to snap him out of it."

"I can feel it, too," Jaina piped up. "Like there is this darkness that hovers all around him."

"Do you think he is falling to the dark side?" Mara asked immediately concerned.

"I don't think so," she replied. She absently brushed a strand of brown hair behind her ear and her eyes took on that far-away look Skywalker often had. "He just feels lost. Not in the Lightside or the dark side, but somewhere in between, in a kind of fog."

Mara nodded. She had been receiving the same feelings from Skywalker since she entered the Yavin system. Even from across the galaxy she had been picking up ripples in the Force that felt like little cold shocks against her brain. Not one to stand around debating an issue, she immediately moved toward a solution. "So what are we going to do about it?"

"Leia keeps telling me just to give him some time and space," Han replied. "She says he'll come around, but I doubt she believes it."

"Maybe it's time to stop babying him," she replied rather sharply. "Maybe what he needs is a good kick in the -" she stopped herself at Solo's warning look. "I'll see you later." She took off at a brisk pace toward the Great Temple.

* * * *

Luke drummed his fingers despondently on his desk, his mind wandering from whatever Tionne was telling him. Lately, it had been becoming more and more difficult to concentrate on anyone or anything. Part of him reprimanded himself for showing such lack of control over his senses and emotions. As the founder of the Jedi Academy, he should set a good example for the others. The other part of him just didn't care anymore. A soft voice inside his head whispered seductively that they didn't really need him here anyway. There were several masters now to teach the apprentices. Even the mundane grind of paperwork and supply maintenance ran smoothly without his supervision. Tionne kept up that end of the Jedi Academy running smoothly and efficiently. He could leave right now, and it wouldn't make one bit of difference. But where could he go? Coruscant? No, he didn't want Leia fidgeting over him night and day, as she had already tried to do the last time he made a visit. He slowly became aware that Tionne had asked him a question, several times.

"Hmm? Oh, sorry. What did you say?" He said lamely. He felt himself color slightly under Tionne's miffed scrutiny. She was doing an admirable job controlling her emotions, he thought absently, but he could tell that underneath the calm was a strong desire to throw something at him. He didn't mean to be so rude to his staff. After all they were more than his staff members and students, they were his friends and comrades.

He sat up straighter and tried to appear interested as he ran an eye over the report she had handed him. Apparently she saw through the act, because she raised her hands in frustration, whirled on her heel and stormed out of his office muttering something about figuring it out for himself. He couldn't blame her for being angry. It seemed like that was the only reaction he got from anyone who wandered across his path these days.

He sighed, fell back against his chair and ran a tired hand over several days worth of the growth on his face. As he had done so often in the last few months - years? - he pulled from his desk an aging holo of a woman with shoulder length, ash-blond hair on his desk. To everyone else, the face of Cray Mingla stared back at them, a haunting memory of what occurred on that ancient ship so long ago. To Luke, it was the face of his lost love Callista. He didn't understand why everyone else couldn't see the obvious differences between the two women. He had studied every line, every curve of her face, but it disturbed him how, much like the old holo, the image in his mind was slowly losing resolution. It became increasingly difficult as time passed to remember the exact shade of gray her eyes were. He could no longer imagine the smell of the fruity fragrance she often wore.

He rested his elbows on the dark wood and placed his head in his hands, the familiar, gnawing ache in his chest flaring to life for the billionth time. Why couldn't you stay and fight this thing? We could've beaten it together. Like the holo and his memory of her, his hope that Callista would return was fading fast.

As he began to replace the holo in the drawer, another holo caught his eye, this one even more aged and worn. Gaeriel. A fresh wave of sadness washed over him. He had loved her, too, though he had excepted long ago that they could not be together. Though that did little to easy the pain of her recent death. He still cared deeply for her. Her death left a small hole in his chest and a small orphan back on her homeworld. It was all so senseless.

Gaeriel would never be coming back. Callista probably never would either. He had to give up that dream and force himself to accept the bitter reality: Jedi Master Luke Skywalker is destined to remain alone, a hermit like Ben and Yoda, with only his sister's family for comfort and companionship. The same phrases repeated in his mind so many times that often he thought he would go crazy from being powerless to block them out.

"When you're finished with all the self-pity crap, I have a mission for you."

The familiar, sharp voice pierced through his thoughts, and he jerked upright to see Mara Jade standing in the doorway. Tionne had forgotten, or had not bothered, to shut the door when she left. He felt anger and irritation rise at having someone, especially Mara Jade, break in on his private thoughts. More than that, he was angry with himself for allowing her to startle him. He should have felt her through the Force as soon as she entered the system. He growled audibly. He was in no mood at the moment to deal with that hotheaded woman. Glaring irately at her, he used the Force to slam the door in her face and lock it. He got some satisfaction at hearing her surprised and incensed cry of fury.

On the other side of the door, Mara thought steam was going to come out of her ears. How dare he?! She raised a balled fist and fiercely pounded on the door. "Skywalker, I want to talk to you!" She shouted angrily.

"Go away, Mara!" she heard clearly through the door.

She tried to manually open the door, but found it locked. She beat at the old-fashioned wooden obstacle before her. "Skywalker, open the damn door!" Her thundering voice echoed through the ancient Massassi corridors bringing several students and teachers to peer anxiously from other rooms and around corners. This was getting ridiculous. Why did she care anyway? She should just leave the dumb blockhead to his miserable wallowing and continue on her way. She shook the thought away. Muttering colorful vocabulary in more languages than most of the residents of Yavin IV had ever heard, she backed a few steps away from the door, drew her blaster and fired at the lock. The sturdy door remained standing, but the lock was now a molten mass of metal. In one aggressive kick, the wooden obstacle flew over a meter into the room and crashed with a loud bang onto the floor.

Skywalker, now standing, stared at her open mouthed from behind his desk, too shocked for a second to say anything. Boots clacking over the fallen barricade, Mara stormed into the office, her red-gold hair flying about her head wildly and her emerald green eyes spitting venomous fire at the Jedi Master. He unconsciously stepped backwards as she advanced on him.

"Now if you've finished with your little temper-tantrum, Skywalker, I have a proposition for you," she said in a voice that was deadly calm.

His face flushed scarlet as the shock of her entrance wore off to be replaced by pure rage. Mara was momentarily surprised out of her momentum to see such a rare emotion for the Jedi so blatantly displayed on his features. Her brow furrowed as she remembered how he had jumped when she first spoke. That struck her as odd. He should've been able to sense her from orbit.

Skywalker opened his mouth to make an angry retort, but Mara cut him off. "Why don't you go meditate or something. You look like you need it. When you are ready to talk to me like a civilized human being, come find me." She whirled on her heel and charged out of the office. She continued down the corridors ignoring the fear and amazement etched on every face that had witnessed that little scene.

"What, so now you're sending me to my room?!" she heard Skywalker yell after her. Her spine stiffened, but she kept walking. Maybe a short stroll in the jungle would do my own nerves some good. Without looking back, she took off for the steaming green foliage.

* * * * *

Mara's short stroll turned into a several hour-long hike. She hadn't realized how much tension she had let build up inside her. It all exploded out with each stomp of her foot or annoyed swat of her arm as she pushed a pesky branch out of her path. She could hear frightened animals scurry out of her path as she crashed through the jungle.

She was protected from the direct rays of the sun beating down on the jungle by the dense foliage of the trees. Still, the heat was almost unbearable. Moisture in the air wrapped around her body like a soft, wet blanket making breathing more laborious. She had long ago shrugged off her flight jacket and tied it around her waist, though it did little to slow the beads of sweat that rolled down her face, back and chest. Her olive green tank top became a damp dark green and clung to her skin. For what must have been the hundredth time, she brushed her hair back from her face and wished she had thought of bringing a canteen of water.

This time her prayer was answered as the sweet music of rushing water came to her ears. Turning off the path she had created, Mara crawled down a steep embankment and found herself on the rocky bank of a small river. Smiling for the first time since her encounter with Skywalker, she hopped gracefully over the rocks to the small waterfall, plunged her hands into it's cool current and drank heartily.

"You'd better hope some animal didn't die upstream and pollute the water."

This time it was Mara's turn to be startled. In the process, she swallowed wrong and began to spasmodically cough. Skywalker jumped off his rock and ran over to give a few hard thumps on her back. "Don't ever ... do that to me ... again!" she sputtered, regaining her breath.

"Sorry."

She pushed away from him and sat down on a large, flat rock that was partly sitting in the river. "Oh, don't worry about it," she muttered. She peeled off her black, knee-high black boots and carelessly threw them by a tree farther up the bank. Then rolling up her khaki colored trousers, she plunged her feet and calves into the welcoming cool water and released a contented sigh. She laid back on the rock, closed her eyes and soaked up the rays of the sun. She tried to pretend Skywalker was not there, but she could feel his eyes following her every movement. Why doesn't he just come out and say whatever it is he wants to say?

As if he heard her thought, he cleared his throat to speak. "Uh, Mara?"

She opened one eye to peer at him inquiringly. He seemed a bit flustered as he concentrated on the rocks. For the first time since she landed, she took in his disheveled appearance. His sandy blond hair hadn't been cut in what looked like months and fell in a wild disarray into his eyes. His face looked like it hadn't seen a good shave in over a week. She wondered how he didn't bake alive wearing his black Jedi robes out in the jungle.

He abruptly stopped fidgeting and eyed her quizzically. But all he said was, "I want to apologize for earlier. I shouldn't have slammed the door in your face. I'm sorry." She remained silent, so he continued. "You just sort of surprised me."

At that last comment, she sat up and looked directly at him. "And that's why you nearly blew up like an enraged Wookiee?" she asked trying to keep her voice merely inquisitive. She knew she'd failed when he glanced at her sharply, defensively. Trying to soften her tone, she added, "You surprised me, too. I thought Jedi Masters were always in control of their emotions."

"Yeah, well, I've been distracted lately. So what was this about a mission?" he asked, and Mara noted, quickly changing the subject. Well, he wasn't getting off that easily.

"I think it's more serious than that," she began. "Look, I don't want to pry, but these little outbursts really aren't like you. One minute you're the flat, emotionless boob we all know, the next you're this enraged psycho. We really don't need you falling to the dark side over some bad break-up, Skywalker."

He kept his temper in check, but threw her look a warning look. She should just leave the diplomatic stuff to his sister. "So about this mission," she said quickly.

Skywalker let the subject drop and sat down on a nearby rock as she related the details of the mission to Adega. His ears perked up eagerly at the mention of the Jedi markings on the artifacts. "Do you have a copy of the markings on the artifacts?" he asked when she had paused for a breath. "I can have Tionne search for any references in our history archives. It wouldn't take long, and we could probably leave as soon as tomorrow morning,".

She was a little surprised at his barely concealed eagerness to accompany her, especially after their rather tense greeting earlier. "What, no worries over who is going to take care of the Academy?" she exclaimed in mock incredulity. "Damn, you've got it bad this time."

He eyed her quizzically, "Streen and Tionne can take care of things here. They pretty much run the place anyway."

"They'll probably throw a big meditation party, or whatever it is you people do for fun, just to see you go."

"Hey!"

"Face it, Skywalker, you've been a real annoying nincompoop the past several months, years in my opinion! And I think your Jedi are about to mutiny. I could feel the tension among you and your students from the moment I landed."

"Speaking of Jedi," he began, fervently trying to direct the conversation away from himself, "when are you going to finally complete your training?"

"I don't think I want to complete my training," Mara replied after a slight pause. She squirmed slightly under his scrutiny as he waited for further explanation. She turned away from him to study something on the other bank. "The Force only seems to cause people pain. Whenever I used my abilities as the Emperor's Hand, it was always to hurt someone. That someone usually ended up dead by my hand. The Force is just another way to manipulate people."

"You used it to survive," Luke pointed out.

"To use the Force as a crutch is even more dangerous." She glanced sharply at him. "You come to depend on it so much that when it's taken from you, you become as helpless as a baby nerf. I give you exhibit A: Myrkr. Exhibit B - oh, never mind."

Mara could see his face tighten, fighting the urge to lash out at her unspoken observation. She was becoming rather agitated with the conversation as well. It was always the same argument, always with the same outcome. After a few biting words, she flew away. But, she observed wryly, she always seemed to come back for more. That was something Callista never did. She stiffened. Was that my thought or his?

"The Force is not a crutch, Mara," he continued patiently. "Would you pound a nail into a block of wood with your hand just because one day you might not have a hammer?"

Mara snickered at his simplistic philosophy. Always the farmboy.

"The Force is a tool. Like a tool, it does not make us who we are, our actions make us who we are."

She didn't fully understand why, but something within her snapped. She twisted around and locked on to him with a stormy gaze. She spat, "And what have my actions made me? Or have you forgotten? I was an assassin for the Emperor. I dabbled in the dark side. I even tried to kill you, for sith-sake! I can't believe you would even attempt to try and train me! Don't you think I'm a little too high-risk to really train as a Jedi. Emperor's bones! You've seen my temper without Jedi powers, isn't that scary enough?!"

She was on a tirade now, but she couldn't stop herself. It all came tumbling out in one fiery breath. And the sympathetic look on Skywalker's face only enraged her more. She didn't need or want his pity. "And are you happy with what you've become? The Lightside of the Force hasn't done much for you but cause you pain. I don't see you happy. You've turned into a miserable, insufferable, righteous, boring... ASS! And all because of the Force. Or should I say some dim-witted blond who put more faith in the Force than she did in the people who use it."

As soon as the words escaped her lips, she wished she could've have taken at least some of them back. Skywalker looked like he had been slapped in the face. Surprise and hurt rolled off of him in waves. He was completely taken aback by the sudden fury she had unleashed. Her words had stung him in the most vulnerable spot imaginable, and rage flooded through his senses.

Suddenly she found herself floating in the air as he picked her up with the Force and angrily tossed her into the river. Her momentary remorse was forgotten in the barrage of insults she flung at his back as he stalked out of hearing range toward the Massassi Great Temple.

Great, Mara, real smooth, she scolded herself as she dragged her waterlogged body from the river. She tried wringing out as much water as possible from her clothing creating a giant puddle at her feet. Well, at least my boots are still dry, she thought only marginally relieved. She sat down on the rock and began tugging on her boots, all the while wondering why in the galaxy she could never keep her temper in check around a certain Jedi Master. He'll probably back out of the mission now. Skywalker's pained expression floated through her memory. She cursed herself and the pang that was eating away at her chest. With an angry grunt, she pushed herself off the rock and began the trek back toward the Academy, lost in her own thoughts.

It was approaching dusk when Mara returned to the Massassi Great Temple. Most of the students were in the dining hall eating dinner when she entered, still soggy from her little dip in the river. The heat had kept her from getting chilled, but the humidity had made it impossible for her clothes to dry. Mostly she received curious stares, but she noticed a few students grinning into their mixed legumes. Skywalker must have still been really ticked off when he got back here. They probably put two and two together. She cursed the builders of the temple for not constructing a less conspicuous entrance.

Across the crowded room, her gaze locked with Solo's. His fork was halted in mid-air half-way to his mouth. Sitting next to him, Jacen and Jaina followed their father's gaze to Mara. All three Solos stared at her with amused smiles and barely controlled mirth. Scowling, she stormed through the dining hall and headed for the room Tionne had offered her. She dared anyone to approach her. No one did.