What's love got to do with it?
(a.k.a Not as Planned)
Disclaimer;: I don't own anything, Zero, thanks for all the reviews very helpful. Now that I'm out of my writers block, and have plenty of time on my hand, expect a lot of updates, but reviews do help! ^_^
Chapter Nine
Kind Company
" I'm crazy for you
Touch me once, and you know it's true
I never wanted anyone like this
It's all brand new
You feel it in my kiss, I'm crazy for you"
" I pretend you're already mine, so my heart isn't breaking every time I look into your eyes"
A slow week passed by Squall, he hated being fussed over so much. The bullet injury had broken his arm, but the arrow wasn't as bad as everyone was trying to make it. It was a divot in his skin, that was true but it was life threatening. This struck Squall slightly odd, if Seifer had told Fujin and Raijin to fire arrows at Squall, if something happened. Why didn't Fujin aim for a kill, or something more painful. It would have been a good excuse for Seifer to knock Squall off, he could have just said that he didn't order Fujin to aim for a kill. Squall pondered this for some time, then decided to let it go. Plus there were better things to think about now, like Rinoa. Squall had been forced to lay on his back in his bed day and night. Meals were brought to him, and the only time he actually was allowed to get out of bed was when he had relief himself, and even at that point, Zell was always some feet off. He didn't mind all the attention, but as the week wore on, and Squall's strength returned it was getting annoying.
"Here is your food My lord.." Quistis sighed, bowing her head, and placing the tray of food on his lap.
"Thank you for your service Quistis, since my legs have been caught off and I am glued to this bed, I can not walk down stairs and into the kitchen. Thank you for bringing me food, for with out you I would starve." Squall said sarcastically. Rinoa who was reading a book, next to his bed, merely smacked his knee.
" You are injured, so you are allowed to make comments you would most likely not make." Rinoa said still reading her book. Squall grumbled, eating his food.
"I do not need to be on my back side anymore, I am growing sick of this hospitably.." He growled through his food. Rinoa lowered the book, and rose an eyebrow.
"You want to be thrown back outside, and we can use you for our target practice? If not, I believe you should close your mouth, and eat your food." Rinoa answered quickly, bringing the book up. Squall swallowed the last bite, and placed the tray on the food, then leaned back, putting his hands behind his head.
"...." He looked at Rinoa, then sighed loudly. Rinoa lowered her book and started at him.
"Yes?" She asked sharply. Squall just blinked and shrugged slightly, then winched from the movement. It hurt Squall to move his shoulder, he wasn't use to the soreness, and the aching pain that still hovered there. Rinoa almost leaped out of his chair.
"Are you alright?" She asked quickly, scanning his face. He opened his eyes, and nodded once.
"Yes, I am just sore, that is all." He said simply, he never liked showing weakness to a women, mostly the women he courted. Squall mentally slapped himself, he wasn't ever going to court another women after Rinoa, if Rinoa accepted him as her husband. But only time will tell if that was going to happen, but it seemed the favors were in Squall's end, after Seifer's offer, and stunt, Rinoa had merely muttered when his name was brought up. Never the less, Squall was not going to do anything stupid, take any chances.
"I can get you some tea.." Rinoa said standing up, Squall's hand shot out, and grabbed her wrist.
"No..please stay, I have no one to talk to, I need some company and some one to watch me just in case if some magically thing happens and I fall off my bed." He said quickly, his grip on her wrist wasn't painfully, it held enough strength to indicate that he did not wish for her to leave. She sat down slowly, and he released her arm.
'I shall stay then.." She whispered looking back down at her book. Moments of silence passed between them, it was boring to lay there and watch Rinoa read, so Squall decided to do something about it.
" Tell me about yourself, I do know that sounds lame, but I fear I do not know as well as I wish I do, and if you are going to be my wife, I would like to know some things about her, before we wed." He asked itching the back of his neck. Rinoa shut her book, after marking it, then settled it on the table, and looked at Squall.
"I really did not have much of a childhood.." She sighed slightly, and brushed her dress to make it straight. Squall frowned slightly tilting his head to the side.
"Why not, surely you lived with your father, and your sister." Squall nodded slowly, as Rinoa shook her head.
"No, if you wish to call him my father, I will not. He was never "there" for me if you call it that, my entire life he seemed to plan me for my mothers death, as I told you beforehand." Rinoa added watching him. She was confused, why was he going out of the way to talk with her, mostly he could have just ignored her, or sent her away. Something seemed different about him, more friendly or something she had never noticed before.
" I am sorry, I also had a disappointing father.." Squall sighed looking forward.
" Because he forced you to marry so earlier?" Rinoa snapped, she could not help herself, sometimes things like that just come out. Squall frowned at her, clearly hurt by her comment.
"No that it is way, I did not make a comment about your father giving you away, I wish you will not make a comment about my father getting rid of me." Squall sighed and nodded slightly. Rinoa frowned, and touched his hand.
"I am sorry for my comment, I was not thinking. It was rude of me.." She sighed and removed her hand. Squall looked at her hand and frowned, then looked back at her.
" Why was your father so driven to make you marry?" Rinoa asked. Squall paused and looked at her.
" I will tell you the truth, because I do not wish for secrets between us anymore, and I wish for other things. So I will tell, I was a ..as you may call it, a playboy.." Squall frowned then looked up at her. To his surprise, Rinoa was giggling, and not trying to hard it. Squall blinked and tilted his head.
" What is so amusing?" He asked, she shook her head waving her hand around.
"It is nothing, I am sorry. I did know that you were a playboy, I heard from Quistis, and others." Rinoa shrugged slightly. Squall sighed in annoyance.
"Quistis told you that did she? I must admit I am upset about that information." Squall grumbled.
" It's true isn't it?" Rinoa asked quickly raising an eyebrow. Squall sighed and fiddled with the bed covers.
"Yes, it is, but I wish you would have not found out about that, maybe you might have thought more of me." Squall said looking down.
" To be truthfully, I did not think much of you in the first place." She answered looking back down at her book. Squall paused and looked at her, he was more amazed then he was offended at the way she could just come out and say things like that, things that ladies mostly well, cancel mostly, never say to their husbands, or any male figure. He watched her for a few moments, thinking of the ways she always acted around males, she could be beaten for he disrespect. To the males mind eye, it was a fact that the male was dominant over the female that he owned her, and she should respect him. But in nature this theory was clearly wrong, females birthed the offspring, cared for them, made sure the offspring lived, and the males just laid about, eating, and sometimes mating. How could anyone take the man is greater then women theory seriously? Squall had before he met Rinoa, they were equally, or she was higher then him. She controlled him, and at the moment was nursing him.
" Well, I didn't think much of you either.." Squall nodded quickly, he felt his manhood was at stake at her last comment, he knew that was just telling him the truth, but never the less. Rinoa merely shrugged.
"I am not what you wanted, that is why you thought less of me." She went on reading her book, but Squall picked up on the quiver in her voice.
" Am I what you wanted?" He asked in return raising his eyebrows. At this, Rinoa lowered her book and stared at Squall curiously. It was foolish for him to ask her this, she thought quickly. For he did know the answer, and was waiting for the answer. But what would it gain for him to hear her say no? Maybe he wanted to keep conversation going, she was enjoying it, till it got to this point. She merely shrugged.
"No you are not, I always doubted I would get married to anyone. My father never took me anywhere, and all the men in my town were simply horrid." She muttered slightly her brow furrowing. Squall smirked slightly, watching her brow furrow, he did that a lot.
"Till Seifer came?" Squall asked quietly. Rinoa was surprised that he had asked that, or that he had even brought it up. They had not talked about Seifer and Rinoa's relationship, or really Seifer for the last week. She shrugged it off.
" He was a knight in shining armor, but I fell for him. I do not know why I did, looking back now. I was a girl back then, and I was lonely. He was a year older then me, dashing, and handsome. It was looks and my loneliness that brought Seifer and I together.." She sighed slightly, then looked back up at him.
" Seifer seems to think it was more.." Squall said watching her expression. Rinoa blinked then shrugged again.
" That I cannot answer, for I do not want to know, and will never know. I have lost any feelings that I might have been carrying for Seifer." Rinoa snorted and grumbled looking out the window. Squall paused after this, fighting a inner battle of guts and bravely. He wanted to ask her something, but he feared she would not answer him, or worse, answer him, but the answer would break his heart.
" Do you have feelings for me?" Squall asked, breathing heavily. Rinoa immediately tensed up, and Squall lowered his shoulders, knowing what he had just done. They sat their in silence for a few moments, Squall cursing himself, Rinoa battling feelings that were fighting to surface. Squall had never felt silence that was so loud, it was killing him, and he was dying every moment that passed by, until he couldn't take it anymore. He flung himself toward her, grabbing her arms, she jerked back slightly, surprised by his sudden action, but not fighting his grip like she would have done some weeks ago.
"Rinoa you can't leave me like this, I must know, I have to know. Do you care for me at all? Even it is a little bit, I can sleep at night knowing there is something out there that cares for me." He gasped, gripping her arm. Rinoa paused, then closed her book turning to him. Squall waited for her, but she just stared at him, as if judging him. That was something he could not handle, he moved forward quickly, wrapping a hand around her neck, and pulling him to her. He kissed her then, passionately, and forcefully. She didn't respond at first, then she slowly started to return his passion. They kissed one another for a few moments, Rinoa pulling and tugging at his hair, Squall exploring her body he didn't dare to go anywhere that make her feel he was abusing the moment, he had waited for a long time for a moment in general. After some time, Rinoa seemed to wake up, and she pushed hard away from Squall, standing up and backing away, she looked confused and annoyed. He stood up quickly too, tossing the blankets aside, this took a little time, but finally he was free. By that point, Rinoa was rubbing her temples, and muttering to herself. Squall stepped toward her, but she stepped back. He sighed and turned his back to her.
'I'm sorry for my action." He growled rather then spoke. Rinoa nodded slightly.
"So am I.." She whispered, then turned quickly furious with her.
"You are sorry?! Sorry for what?! Expressing feelings that you might have for me?! I take back what I just said, I am not sorry, and you shouldn't be either. We are suppose to care for one another, I care for you, I mean can you honestly sit there, and say to me, that you do not care for me, do not long for me the way I long for you!" Squall shouted staring at her. Rinoa glanced up, then looked down.
" I ..do care for you Squall.." She said after a few moments, Squall stepped forward, but she stepped backward again.
"But, I do not trust myself with you, you do something to do that does not seem right." Rinoa said simply, quickly leaving the room. Squall paused watching her, then walked toward a vase, picked it up and chucked it against a wall, breaking it. Then he paused, thinking, and walked out after Rinoa pointing at her.
"Wait for a moment.." He shouted, walking toward her, she stopped, but did not turn to face him. He walked in front of her, staring at her.
"Listen to me, who said that those feelings were bad? Rinoa.. I want you.." He said firmly placing his hands on her arms, she glanced at the arms then at him.
"When it is all over, will you just leave a find someone else.." She whimpered.
"No.. I do not want anyone else.." He whispered moving toward her. She frowned, she still looked unconvinced.
"Please.. Rinoa..." He muttered, lowering his lips toward her, Rinoa jerked back one last time, then sighed and stopped fighting. They kissed again, he wrapped his arms around her tightly, then his hands roamed. She moaned slightly, and tugged at his unruly hair. A "Ahem" sent them apart, Zell was standing there looking embarrassed and fears full, he should have been, Squall was glaring at him.
"Master.." He started but Squall grunted.
"Sir, it's important.." Zell started once more, and Squall started toward him, but Zell jumped away and left the two to explore one another even more.