The Simpsons
(The Super Homer Saga)
By IHVNNM
** I do not own the Simpsons, even though I do enjoy watching whenever I can. I applaud you James L. Brooks, Matt Groening and the Fox Network, may you all keep producing more episodes so loyal fans shall keep watching. Please no one sue me. P.S. Kitman (who Kiteman owns) is not mine, the info of Catopia is Ssnicksinnett, and the Ring Wraiths are J.R.R. Tolkien's creation, I don't own them either.
Homer is at the table, eating bowl after bowl of this green mush, Marge calls it the Homer special, it is really just what ever she found that is still in the house and mashes it all together. Kiteman is in the garage, smoking up a storm, Bart found his way there and is nearly passed out, laughing at the ceiling. Lisa is upstairs, playing with her Malibu Stacy dolls.
"Marge," Homer says between bowls. "This stuff is great, I hope you can make more."
"Of course I will hun," She turns around to say then back to the mashing of some fuzzy green stuff that's been in the fridge since the Simpsons aired.
Kiteman finally comes out of the garage, he's got a smoke trail following him, Bart is still in the garage laughing. "I feel so much better, this worlds air is so thin that I need to keep recharging, I don't think I will last much longer, but it's been like a month since I've been here and you taught me just a little, what will be doing today? I feel stronger than ever"
"Well," Homer continues to clean bowl after bowl, not showing any signs of stopping. "I'm not too sure, At least we are getting paid enough to keep some food in the house and for your energy supply." As Homer continues to babble on and on, a loud rummbleing is heard and the whole house shakes, then a fog horn blares. "Excuse me" Homer says.
"I don't think that was you Homey." Marge says, then the doorbell rings. Homer, Marge and Kiteman goes to the door, there stands the captain.
"Arr my maties. Is this the home of Super Homer and his partner, high as a kite?"
"Yes it is." Homer says.
"It is Kiteman! Not high as a kite, why does everyone call me that?"
"Well, arr, you are always high with a join in a pocket. Arr, you will do finely if our sail rips. Arr, I gottie a job for the both of yas. There is treasure in a destroyed city, arr. However it is guarded by creatures so evil, they can only be described like in the story of lord of the rings. They are like the ring wraiths. Such evil vile creatures, arr, to the sea with all of them, arr arr."
"Mmm, how much will you be willing to give us?" Homer asks.
"As much as you can carry away, there is a lot of booty."
"Booty eh." homer starts to think, in his mind he in visions hundreds of girls butts floating around. Out of the dream, everyone is just staring at him, blinking. Homer shakes his head, "Sure, we will be glad to help. So, where are we going?"
"Arr, a destroyed long lost city my maties, it is called Catopia in Argentina. I found this map to it." The captain lifts a map, it is a place mat from Krusty Burgers. The map is really just a child maze. "With this baby, we will make it, I paid lots of jewels to acquire this." The captain grins, Homer is equally excited. Marge and Kiteman both cannot believe this story and, they can believe that Homer is accepting.
"Are you sure you want to go Homer? I mean, Argentina, it is a very long ways away."
"We could use the road trip, sure, I have no clue where it is, is it in Texas?"
Kiteman's face drops, "Never mind, and since I am learning from you, I have to go with you, at least once we get there we will see some action, the captain said those ring wraiths are tough, it might make things interesting. I'm going to get ready, it's going to take a lot, if I have to go on the ocean with all that clear air." Kiteman goes in the house to the garage, where all of this stash is. He enters the room, seeing Bart laughing as one of the joints burns next to him.
"Hi man!" Bart says before finally passing out.
"Sorry Bartdude, I need the rest, I am going on a trip with your father to South America, it seems like I know more about this world than your father, that is bad. Well, I need to go, see you in a few months, and we can power up again." He pats Bart on the head before leaving. He gets back to the doorway where Marge and the captain are. "Where is Homer?"
That split second Homer appears right in front of Kiteman, making Kiteman fall backwards in shock. "Well, I'm ready," Homer has a small back to his side and he is wearing a new costume. "Lets get going." Homer stares out of the door to the street where he sees a large boat. "How did you get a ship on our street?"
"Well, to tell you all the truth." The captain holds both of them close. "just put on full power, sure I killed the motor, but that can be replaced, now on the ship we have a long way to go." The captain runs up the plank to his ship. Homer and Kiteman follows.
"Bye Homie, have fun, be safe and come back as soon as possible!" Marge says, waving to them from the door. The boat starts to move away, a trail of torn up street is trailing behind it was well as lines of cars honking. Lisa finally comes to the door.
"What was all that noise mom?" Lisa says, looking down the road, seeing massive build up of cars.
"It was the sea captain, he came here to get kiteman and your father for this wild goose chase. They should be back in a couple of months. Well, at least it gives me a chance to get more money and restock the house with as much food as I can. I hope the sea captain can feed him enough."
"Well, now what do we do?"
"Well, you are going to get ready for school, now where is Bart? BART?" She yells out.
Marge walks around the house, she finally looks in the garage, a large puff of smoke comes blasting out, Bart is there on the floor out cold. Marge coughs as she picks him up and puts him on the couch, she groans as she starts cleaning the house. She looks at the passed out Bart. "I guess you get out of another day of school."
*
"Arr, we are getting close to the sea, I can smell it." The captain says, walking down the deck
A very feminine (reasonably gay) sailor speaks up "That's not the sea, it's my cologne, and it's called seaman of the sea."
The captain slaps him. "Arr, why wear sea cologne while out in the sea?"
"Because I love the smell of the sea so much." The sailor twirls away singing happily.
"I could never get the shipmates I wanted, I always get this bunch." The captain turns around and walks into Homer. "Sorry land lover, didn't see yar there." Homer is leaning over the side of the boat, vomiting up everything he's eaten today, which is a massive amount.
"I don't feel so good," Homer is able to say before losing more of his lunch to the sidewalk.
"Arr, that smell will never leave, like the squid in my dreams." The captain holds his nose and he quickly walks away from Homer.
The captain goes to the steering wheel, the navigator is beside it, figuring out where they are "Navigator, how much longer till we get to the sea?"
"Not for another five minutes, we are right now beside Groan St. and High Ave." When the navigator said high, Kiteman appears.
"You said something about high? You know a place where I can replenish my supply if I run low?"
"Arr, what is your supply made up of?" the captain says, squinting both eyes
"Umm. You people call it pot or marijuana."
"In Argentina it is not illegal, and it much more of it than here."
"Really?!?!?! Sweet!" Kiteman jumps in the air but gets caught in the sail. "A little help here, please."
"Arr, lower the sail and tie that boy up, I don't want him breaking something, because he is too hyper for my blood." The captain looks over towards Homer. "Someone get that man something, I fear that it will get worse once we hit the see. He is a sad sight to see."
*
After many months of sailing, they make it to the Argentina coast.
*
Everyone walks off the plank. Everyone is bone thin, Homer is the thinnest. Homer ate all of the food in the first month, there was enough to last at least three years. They had to stop often before they even reached South America, after that, they had to tighten their belts for no one had any money left and Homer finished off the rest of the food.
Other than being bone thin, they all were in desperate need for a bath. They haven't been able to take showers or change, their clothing is stained, ripped and there are flies all around them.
"So captain, where are we supposed to go?" Kiteman says, he stares at Homer in amazement, Homer is even thinner than him.
"Well, me matie, we need to find a place to sleep and eat for free." He stares at Homer with an evil glare. "That man will lose all of his riches in a few weeks just to feed himself." The captain goes into town, the town port is crowed, but, everyone is staying away from the whole crew, it may already smell where they are, but no where near as bad.
People in the port are running away gagging, the smell is just too strong, even for the strongest of men.
*
After many hours of searching for a place to sleep, eat and recruit people for the journey to Catopia.
*
"Arr, we are never going to find anyone, we have asked hundreds of people, they have no clue what we are talking about."
"I know of Catopia, a city long lost to legends. It has been destroyed, many seasons ago. But a ruthless band of ring wraiths have taken over the city, destroying it. They might of moved on, but they like living in the destruction of others and once there is nothing left, not even destruction, they will move on to wipe out another hidden city of the world." A withered old man says for the table across the captain, Kiteman and Homer.
"Really?" The captain squints his eye and looks closer. "Do you know where it is exactly and can you requite some people for us?"
"I can give you five men who will go with you, however they will not enter the city, the danger is too great and the rewards are not enough. There may be riches beyond your wildest dreams or there could be death facing you, it is your risk and gamble."
"Agreed, I will be waiting from the tomorrow. For now, we need to feed this endless food bag." He points to Homer, whimpering at the food that is inches away from him.
"I'm soo hungry!" Homer yells out, everyone looks at him. Homer then jumps all over the place, eating everyone's food. Kiteman and the captain both leave the tavern, so they wont get into trouble.
**This is where I am going to leave it at. This is good enough for now next chapter or two they will fight ring wraiths, then I will introduce Ssnicksinnett's own creation Uckman. Then a chapter or two later, the Dragonball Z characters will be introduced. After that is finished, I will add Ace Ventura. By the time that is done and no one else wants to see Homer fight someone, I'm going to produce my last Chapters, the final battle of Homer in the Super Homer Saga!!!
** I do not own the Simpsons, even though I do enjoy watching whenever I can. I applaud you James L. Brooks, Matt Groening and the Fox Network, may you all keep producing more episodes so loyal fans shall keep watching. Please no one sue me. P.S. Kitman (who Kiteman owns) is not mine, the info of Catopia is Ssnicksinnett, and the Ring Wraiths are J.R.R. Tolkien's creation, I don't own them either.
Homer is at the table, eating bowl after bowl of this green mush, Marge calls it the Homer special, it is really just what ever she found that is still in the house and mashes it all together. Kiteman is in the garage, smoking up a storm, Bart found his way there and is nearly passed out, laughing at the ceiling. Lisa is upstairs, playing with her Malibu Stacy dolls.
"Marge," Homer says between bowls. "This stuff is great, I hope you can make more."
"Of course I will hun," She turns around to say then back to the mashing of some fuzzy green stuff that's been in the fridge since the Simpsons aired.
Kiteman finally comes out of the garage, he's got a smoke trail following him, Bart is still in the garage laughing. "I feel so much better, this worlds air is so thin that I need to keep recharging, I don't think I will last much longer, but it's been like a month since I've been here and you taught me just a little, what will be doing today? I feel stronger than ever"
"Well," Homer continues to clean bowl after bowl, not showing any signs of stopping. "I'm not too sure, At least we are getting paid enough to keep some food in the house and for your energy supply." As Homer continues to babble on and on, a loud rummbleing is heard and the whole house shakes, then a fog horn blares. "Excuse me" Homer says.
"I don't think that was you Homey." Marge says, then the doorbell rings. Homer, Marge and Kiteman goes to the door, there stands the captain.
"Arr my maties. Is this the home of Super Homer and his partner, high as a kite?"
"Yes it is." Homer says.
"It is Kiteman! Not high as a kite, why does everyone call me that?"
"Well, arr, you are always high with a join in a pocket. Arr, you will do finely if our sail rips. Arr, I gottie a job for the both of yas. There is treasure in a destroyed city, arr. However it is guarded by creatures so evil, they can only be described like in the story of lord of the rings. They are like the ring wraiths. Such evil vile creatures, arr, to the sea with all of them, arr arr."
"Mmm, how much will you be willing to give us?" Homer asks.
"As much as you can carry away, there is a lot of booty."
"Booty eh." homer starts to think, in his mind he in visions hundreds of girls butts floating around. Out of the dream, everyone is just staring at him, blinking. Homer shakes his head, "Sure, we will be glad to help. So, where are we going?"
"Arr, a destroyed long lost city my maties, it is called Catopia in Argentina. I found this map to it." The captain lifts a map, it is a place mat from Krusty Burgers. The map is really just a child maze. "With this baby, we will make it, I paid lots of jewels to acquire this." The captain grins, Homer is equally excited. Marge and Kiteman both cannot believe this story and, they can believe that Homer is accepting.
"Are you sure you want to go Homer? I mean, Argentina, it is a very long ways away."
"We could use the road trip, sure, I have no clue where it is, is it in Texas?"
Kiteman's face drops, "Never mind, and since I am learning from you, I have to go with you, at least once we get there we will see some action, the captain said those ring wraiths are tough, it might make things interesting. I'm going to get ready, it's going to take a lot, if I have to go on the ocean with all that clear air." Kiteman goes in the house to the garage, where all of this stash is. He enters the room, seeing Bart laughing as one of the joints burns next to him.
"Hi man!" Bart says before finally passing out.
"Sorry Bartdude, I need the rest, I am going on a trip with your father to South America, it seems like I know more about this world than your father, that is bad. Well, I need to go, see you in a few months, and we can power up again." He pats Bart on the head before leaving. He gets back to the doorway where Marge and the captain are. "Where is Homer?"
That split second Homer appears right in front of Kiteman, making Kiteman fall backwards in shock. "Well, I'm ready," Homer has a small back to his side and he is wearing a new costume. "Lets get going." Homer stares out of the door to the street where he sees a large boat. "How did you get a ship on our street?"
"Well, to tell you all the truth." The captain holds both of them close. "just put on full power, sure I killed the motor, but that can be replaced, now on the ship we have a long way to go." The captain runs up the plank to his ship. Homer and Kiteman follows.
"Bye Homie, have fun, be safe and come back as soon as possible!" Marge says, waving to them from the door. The boat starts to move away, a trail of torn up street is trailing behind it was well as lines of cars honking. Lisa finally comes to the door.
"What was all that noise mom?" Lisa says, looking down the road, seeing massive build up of cars.
"It was the sea captain, he came here to get kiteman and your father for this wild goose chase. They should be back in a couple of months. Well, at least it gives me a chance to get more money and restock the house with as much food as I can. I hope the sea captain can feed him enough."
"Well, now what do we do?"
"Well, you are going to get ready for school, now where is Bart? BART?" She yells out.
Marge walks around the house, she finally looks in the garage, a large puff of smoke comes blasting out, Bart is there on the floor out cold. Marge coughs as she picks him up and puts him on the couch, she groans as she starts cleaning the house. She looks at the passed out Bart. "I guess you get out of another day of school."
*
"Arr, we are getting close to the sea, I can smell it." The captain says, walking down the deck
A very feminine (reasonably gay) sailor speaks up "That's not the sea, it's my cologne, and it's called seaman of the sea."
The captain slaps him. "Arr, why wear sea cologne while out in the sea?"
"Because I love the smell of the sea so much." The sailor twirls away singing happily.
"I could never get the shipmates I wanted, I always get this bunch." The captain turns around and walks into Homer. "Sorry land lover, didn't see yar there." Homer is leaning over the side of the boat, vomiting up everything he's eaten today, which is a massive amount.
"I don't feel so good," Homer is able to say before losing more of his lunch to the sidewalk.
"Arr, that smell will never leave, like the squid in my dreams." The captain holds his nose and he quickly walks away from Homer.
The captain goes to the steering wheel, the navigator is beside it, figuring out where they are "Navigator, how much longer till we get to the sea?"
"Not for another five minutes, we are right now beside Groan St. and High Ave." When the navigator said high, Kiteman appears.
"You said something about high? You know a place where I can replenish my supply if I run low?"
"Arr, what is your supply made up of?" the captain says, squinting both eyes
"Umm. You people call it pot or marijuana."
"In Argentina it is not illegal, and it much more of it than here."
"Really?!?!?! Sweet!" Kiteman jumps in the air but gets caught in the sail. "A little help here, please."
"Arr, lower the sail and tie that boy up, I don't want him breaking something, because he is too hyper for my blood." The captain looks over towards Homer. "Someone get that man something, I fear that it will get worse once we hit the see. He is a sad sight to see."
*
After many months of sailing, they make it to the Argentina coast.
*
Everyone walks off the plank. Everyone is bone thin, Homer is the thinnest. Homer ate all of the food in the first month, there was enough to last at least three years. They had to stop often before they even reached South America, after that, they had to tighten their belts for no one had any money left and Homer finished off the rest of the food.
Other than being bone thin, they all were in desperate need for a bath. They haven't been able to take showers or change, their clothing is stained, ripped and there are flies all around them.
"So captain, where are we supposed to go?" Kiteman says, he stares at Homer in amazement, Homer is even thinner than him.
"Well, me matie, we need to find a place to sleep and eat for free." He stares at Homer with an evil glare. "That man will lose all of his riches in a few weeks just to feed himself." The captain goes into town, the town port is crowed, but, everyone is staying away from the whole crew, it may already smell where they are, but no where near as bad.
People in the port are running away gagging, the smell is just too strong, even for the strongest of men.
*
After many hours of searching for a place to sleep, eat and recruit people for the journey to Catopia.
*
"Arr, we are never going to find anyone, we have asked hundreds of people, they have no clue what we are talking about."
"I know of Catopia, a city long lost to legends. It has been destroyed, many seasons ago. But a ruthless band of ring wraiths have taken over the city, destroying it. They might of moved on, but they like living in the destruction of others and once there is nothing left, not even destruction, they will move on to wipe out another hidden city of the world." A withered old man says for the table across the captain, Kiteman and Homer.
"Really?" The captain squints his eye and looks closer. "Do you know where it is exactly and can you requite some people for us?"
"I can give you five men who will go with you, however they will not enter the city, the danger is too great and the rewards are not enough. There may be riches beyond your wildest dreams or there could be death facing you, it is your risk and gamble."
"Agreed, I will be waiting from the tomorrow. For now, we need to feed this endless food bag." He points to Homer, whimpering at the food that is inches away from him.
"I'm soo hungry!" Homer yells out, everyone looks at him. Homer then jumps all over the place, eating everyone's food. Kiteman and the captain both leave the tavern, so they wont get into trouble.
**This is where I am going to leave it at. This is good enough for now next chapter or two they will fight ring wraiths, then I will introduce Ssnicksinnett's own creation Uckman. Then a chapter or two later, the Dragonball Z characters will be introduced. After that is finished, I will add Ace Ventura. By the time that is done and no one else wants to see Homer fight someone, I'm going to produce my last Chapters, the final battle of Homer in the Super Homer Saga!!!