Remus was ill again, there was no doubt about it. His handsome face was pale, sweat drops glittered on his forehead, his hands shook.
"Remus? Perhaps you should go to Madam Pomfrey?" Lily asked worriedly. The Potions lesson was not the best of times to get trembling hands. She took the knife out of his hands and began to shop his beetles.
After a moment of hesitation, Remus took the knife back, rejecting her help. "I'm fine. It's nothing. Madam Pomfrey's given me a potion."
Lily nodded, feeling as though she has overstepped boundaries again. Remus' health was a particularly sensitive subject, almost a taboo. It was the only thing he didn't talk to her about and she always felt like an intruder whenever she tried to help.
Loud voice of professor Vodkan snapped her out of her reverie. "Attention students, attention! Mr. Pettigrew, aren't you going to share those hilarious news with the rest of us? Miss Wood wouldn't mind, would she?"
Peter and Olivia ceased their exchange of gossips. Good thing about Professor Vodkan, a former Hufflepuff, was that he wasn't very strict. Nothing like McGonagall or Castor. Lucky Hufflepuffs, to have Sprout, Kettleburn and Vodkan in their House.
"As a homework, you will distil the base for the Relaxation Potion. The ingredients for it can be found around Hogwarts - Attention, Miss Branstone! - and they are to be turned in by next Monday! - Two points from Hufflepuff, Miss Gudgeon! - And since now, you will have to prepare a potion on your own, without my guidance, every month. The classroom will be available to you. This is going to be part of your N.E.W.T.s!"
The last words worked better than any silencing spell. N.E.W.T.s were a magic word to every seventh-year. Unfortunately, professor Vodkan has finished. The students noisily gathered their things and began to empty the classroom.
Sill worried about Remus, Lily watched him go with Peter, without a word to her. He would apologize tomorrow or the day after tomorrow, as he had so many times before. It was a familiar ritual of theirs. He would be clearly feeling unwell. She would offer help. He would get all dismissive and cranky and then he would apologize and everything would be back to normal. Until the next time. Merlin, it was fairly understandable behaviour for a woman in throes of the PMS, but Remus?
Hesitantly, she approached Sirius and James. Resisting the urge to push James's glasses up his nose - they were always nestled too low - she focused on the matter at hand.
"Sirius, James?"
"At your service, Ma'am!" Sirius bowed gallantly.
She ignored him. "I think Remus is worse off today than couple of times before. You should make him go for some professional help. He doesn't listen to me and I think Madam Pomfrey can't help his condition - it's getting worse."
Two boys stood stock-still.
"Why do you think so?" James asked cautiously.
Did they really think she was stupid? Who were they trying to fool? Her? Or themselves? "I'm not blind," she said curtly. "If he doesn't want to listen to me - a mediwitch in training - he might listen to you. And I'm telling you he needs help."
They both nodded after a moment of intense struggle with whatever objections they might have had in their heads.
"We will talk to him," James promised.
With regret at having to leave James's company, Lily turned towards he door.
"Er, Lily?"
"Yes, James?"
"WhouldyouhelpmewiththepotionVodkanassigned?"
She blinked. "I beg your pardon?"
"Uh, the potion Vodkan assigned. Sirius took quite a shine to Amy Lynch," he shot Sirius an irritated look, "and he wants to use the project to get close to her. And you're best at Potions... at least in Gryffindor... and I, uh, might use some help... And since Sirius can't... I wondered, er, if you..."
Her heart skipped a beat and she rushed in before he could change his mind about this strange plea. "No problem, James. I'll be glad to help."
Feeling strangely light despite the gravity of the situation with Remus, she headed for the History of Magic.
"You need to tell her, Moony!" Peter insisted; the cleaning kit and his broom put aside since Sirius and James started their attack. "They're right, it can't go on like this!"
"Oh yeah," Remus snapped, pain and guilt carved in his entire pose. Usually his friends would quickly admit their defeat in a similar situation, neither of them has ever claimed to know what hell the werewolf had to go through. They tried to help - and Remus has always said he would have trouble simply keeping his sanity without their help - but they all knew that Lily's unawareness was exceptionally big burden on Remus' shoulders.
"What am I going to tell her," Remus continued angrily. "Hello, Lily, I can't study with you tomorrow night because I have a little transformation ahead. I'm a werewolf, you see. Want to come and watch? Just be aware I can kill you."
"I thought I'm the sarcastic one here," Peter replied. "And this is not a matter for sarcasm!"
"What if she figures it on her own?" James asked quietly, endeavouring to be objective. Not an easy task to achieve in his situation. "She's not stupid. She's been close to you for over a year. She's going to notice the pattern. Like Snape two years ago."
They all winced at the memory. Whatever they thought of that greasy git, he was very observant and very smart. He had noticed fairly quickly the connection between Remus' attacks of illness and the moon cycles, but his thick Slytherin skill had rejected the simplest answer. He had all but publicly accused them of performing all kinds of Moon Rites and searching for the Fern Flower. It had ended like it had ended.
Remus didn't answer.
"Do you want to lose her?" Sirius asked. From the way he looked, it could be deducted that he simply itched to punch his stubborn friend in the nose.
"Look who's talking!" Remus retorted. "The man whom she had dumped after three weeks!"
"That was different!"
"Sure it was." Lupin laughed mirthlessly. "You had another hundred girls waiting in line for you while I have only her!"
Peter cleared his throat, dropping his habitual sarcasm for once. "Padfoot is right. That was different. Mainly because she was not a girl for him. She's a girl for you. Merlin, I've never known two people better matched than you and Lily!"
Remus blinked and stared hard at Peter. A slight frown crossed his forehead but then he shook his head and the frown was gone. "You think so?"
"Of course!" Sirius cried. "Enough to look at the two of you! You like the same things, you can talk for hours! I wish there was a girl like that for me out there too!"
"I'm not enough?" James asked weakly, fighting not to give in to the impact this conversation was having on him. Peter's and Sirius' words felt like a knife into his heart. Sirius laughed and patted James's shoulder. The atmosphere lightened a little.
"I don't want to lose her," Remus said quietly. 'And that's the problem. I don't want to lose her. And I don't want to risk that once she knows she would leave me. She opposes against any aspect of the Dark Magic, you know."
James sat silent. How many times did he play that scenario in his head? Remus telling Lily and Lily saying she can't be with a Dark Creature. But she wouldn't do that, not Lily. James knew her well enough to know that nothing could push Lily away from the ones she loved. That was what made him fall in love with her. And just wishing that Lily would dump Remus on account of him being a werewolf made James feel like the worst of sort of traitor. Lily made Remus happy and if there was a person who deserved to be happy, it was Remus.
"You will have to tell her sooner or later, Moony," Sirius reasoned. "And it's better if she leaves you now than later!"
Remus shook his head. "I want to have every second I can with her. And as for later... the longer we are together, the more difficult it would be for her to walk away... wouldn't it?" Peter whistled. "Why, my friend! This is positively Slytherin of you!"
The others looked appalled. "Peter!"
Peter shrugged. "So what's the deal? Are you going to tell her or not?"
"No," Remus said firmly. "I'm not."
Twenty-three hands went up, with Lily's it was twenty-four. Everybody was for. One of the biweekly Saturday Prefects Meetings has been going on for over four hours already and even Snape lost all will to argue.
"It's settled then. Next, the schedule for using the Potions lab by the seventh-years. The younger prefects are free to go."
With loud sighs of relief the sixteen students rose and bid their goodbyes. Leocadia Lowell's Dicta Quill noted the time of their departure: twenty one past eight.
"I talked to professor Vodkan; he said it's all up to us," James announced. "So I propose the easiest way. Four Houses, four weeks in the month. We take turns, every House has one week out of the month."
The Hufflepuffs nodded. Ravenclaws, however, looked sceptical.
"We sometimes use the Potions lab for additional work. And for extra tutoring," said Justitian Ackerley.
"That's right," drawled Snape, his words dripping sarcasm. "Not all of us are such geniuses in Potions as you, Potter."
James made a heroic effort to smile beatifically at the Slytherin; it seemed to anger him more than any putdown. "How about weekends off then? Everybody would be free to use the Potions lab on weekends."
"There are dozens younger students who need extra help in Potions," Maria Johnson protested horrified. "And almost half of the Ravenclaw House is doing extra credits in Potions! Not to mention those who take it on the N.E.W.T.s! We would be tripping on each other!"
James had to keep himself from rolling his eyes. Ravenclaws. "Perhaps a time-table in that case? Everyone interested in using the lab would have to write their name on the list?"
"With restriction to... five people simultaneously?" Lily added.
"No way!" Snape was livid. "I'm not going to brew potions with some five idiots hovering around me! Celestina?" He turned to the other Slytherin prefect for back-up.
The girl shrugged. "Sorry, Severus, but it sounds reasonable," she said in her musical voice. "Oh come on, Snape," James couldn't help himself. "Who would want to hover around you? They would escape to the furthest corner of the classroom, no worry."
"James!" Lily hissed.
He gave her an apologetic smile; he had promised to put his dislike for Snape aside in order to do his Head Boy duties well, but Snape was not making it easy.
"Watch it, Potter," Snape threatened.
"A time-table, then," Lily cut in. "We stay with the a-House-a-week plan and a list for the weekends?"
"I'm for," Martin Fawcett, a Hufflepuff, agreed.
The Ravenclaws raised their hands reluctantly.
"I'm against," Snape said.
Celestina Warbeck looked torn between the loyalty to her fellow Slytherin and the common sense. "I'm for," she said finally.
A small look passed between Leocadia and Snape. "I'm against," Leocadia announced to Martin's shock.
James stayed clam. "Six for and two against. Protest overruled. Lily and I will take care of the details. The meeting is adjourned."
Seething, Snape was first to go. The rest followed them.
"That didn't go too well," Lily commented.
"It never goes well when Snape is involved," muttered James.
"Do you want to finish this time-table case now or later?"
"Lily," he groaned. "Do you have to talk like a Hufflepuff? It's been almost five hours for Merlin's sake! Of course later. Find some other subject to talk about, I implore you."
She grinned, collecting her quills. "How's the 'Lord of the Rings' going?"
James stretched in his chair, laughing. "It's addictive! I'm halfway through the third book already! Sirius thinks I'm ill."
"What did you think of Eowyn?" she asked eagerly, anxious about his judgement of her favourite character.
"She would be a Gryffindor," James said. "She's so brave. She never gives up. And she doesn't let anybody to tell her what to do, she take her life in her own hands..."
"Well, where are you exactly?"
"Riders of Rohan arrive to help in the battle on the plains of Pelennor."
"It's not halfway through the book, you haven't read the best yet!" Lily enthusiased. "Eowyn's my idol! Like Luthien in 'Silmarillon' and Galadriel in 'Unfinished Tales'..."
"She's great. I have no idea what Aragorn was thinking not to fell in love with her right away. But he still might change his mind."
"Oh no, Aragorn is not right for her," Lily said seriously. "She finally realizes that she doesn't really love him. That he's a man perfect to fall in love with, but love is something more."
James watched as a flush of passion coloured her cheeks, wishing she would be that passionate talking about him. "Will you lend me those other books?"
"Sure!" she beamed. "Remus said 'Lord of the Rings' is completely unreal and lacks in good characterisation - honestly! - and wasn't interested in other books by Tolkien."
"A great mistake on his part I take it?"
"Undoubtly." Suddenly a look of worry marred her perfect features - well, perfect for James anyway. "Speaking about Remus, did you talk to him?"
No, James thought. I will not let my jealousy ruin this perfect evening. She's here with me, she's talking to me, sharing her interests and worries with me. I will enjoy that, it has to be enough. "We did. He says he's fine. And, truthfully, he seems to be all right. We think you're overreacting, Lily," he added delicately at the end.
"Maybe I am," she admitted. "If he told me what's wrong with him..."
"Probably nothing very serious," he lied through his teeth and felt like a scum. "But men are like this. We don't like girls to think we're weak. Let him be, Lily."
"I suppose I have no choice," she said darkly.
"Don't think about it," James advised. "Do you want to know what Sirius, Remus and Peter played on Lestrange for his little stunt?"
Her curiosity piqued, Lily let the matter of Remus drop. "What?"
"They enchanted his Quidditch bat. It turned red and gold when it first hit the Bludger during the training session earlier today and it attacked Lestrange. He will probably come tomorrow on breakfast with his eyes blue and black." Satisfaction in his voice was clear.
"You let him get off with it rather cheaply."
"Oh, there's almost a whole year ahead, we still have time. And we've planned a new anti-Snape campaign. Starts tomorrow at dinner."
"What? Oh please, James, I can be discreet!"
He shook his head. "No, it's a surprise."
"Then why did you mention it at all?"
"So that you would have something other than Remus' illness to think about tonight," he explained quietly.
She smiled sadly at that, "Thank you, James. Look at time," she pointed the clock in the corner of the Prefects Room. "It's half past ten."
"Oh Merlin... we should go, I guess."
"Looks like it."
Was that regret in her voice? James chose to think to. They both gathered their things and left.
A/N: Review! I need reviews and critical suggestions! I know ladies-man!Sirius is cliché, but I love this cliché, just like intellectual!Remus and studious!Lily. James, on the other hand, can't be a whore-of-Hogwarts because he is a Head Boy and must have more common sense than that.