Note: Rejoice all ye peoples! Katie Janeway has agreed to write out the actual Idiot's Guide. Email her at xphiletrekkie79@yahoo.com and bow before her greatness. ^_^ Just as a warning, I wrote Dogget's part (and a little Mulder), and it's been awhile since I've seen XF, so they'll probably be somewhat OOC. My apologies.

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            Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeak. That damn door's entirely too loud. I catiously peek around it, and heave a sigh of relief. Thank God, she's actually gone home. I enter the office with a considerably lighter step, and beeline for Mulder/Scully's desk, heading straight for the manuscript. Ever since I picked it up a week ago, it's been bugging me. I only got to read the chapter titles then. But with Scully gone and the rest of the world asleep, I finally have the chance to read the entire thing.

            I sit down in their chair, and open the drawer containing the manuscript. Once again I put aside the photos, respecting Agent Mulder's privacy (to some extent). Beneath them lies what I'm looking for, and I carefully pull the stack of papers out. Turning to the first page, I begin to read.

Ch 1- The Cardinal Rule of Scully-Don't Baby

            This seems to be my worst problem. The moment Scully's hurt or in trouble, I go ballistically mother-hen. And then she shoots me down, and I become the ghost of a ballistic mother-hen.

            What is it with short women and being tough?

            Babying Scully would consist of the following:

· INSISTING SHE STAY AWAY FROM THE CASE. For example, Donnie Phaster, round two.

· REMINDING HER THAT IT'S OKAY TO WALK AWAY ONCE A CASE BEGINS TO BOTHER HER. Donnie Phaster, round one. She insisted on sticking around, that she was fine. I've heard that before. (See Ch 5)

· FIGHTING HER BATTLES FOR HER. If she appears to be able to handle the suspect, don't butt in. And if she's arguing with another agent, definitely don't butt in.

Why shouldn't you baby Scully?

· SHE'S YOUR PARTNER. That means you need to work together. And respect each other. Babying her would offend her.

· SHE CAN TAKE CARE OF HERSELF. Don't believe it? What about those times when she's ditched you? Or when she met with Cancer Man and went on that trip with him?

· SHE CAN SAVE YOUR BUTT. Where do I start? There was that worm incident in the Arctic. Or after the alien bounty hunter.

Consequences

· SHE WON'T TALK TO YOU. That can make any investigation difficult.

· THE FAMOUS SCULLY GLARE. Need I say more? Happens after butting in and arguing for her.

· SHE WON'T WANT TO HELP. Help will only be given grudgingly, if she decides to. She'll glare at you for making her do the autopsy, track the suspect, or go through a microscope.

· HURT HER REPUTATION. If I'm the one reading this, I don't need to explain. But I will, in case someone else does. Scully has already been dragged down with the X-files assignment.

· SHE'LL BABY YOU. What adult man wants that?

· SHE'LL STICK IT OUT, NO MATTER WHAT. You've got to admit, Scully's tough. Tell her she isn't, and she sets out to prove you wrong. Donnie Phaster did a number on her head like nothing I've ever seen, but she still went after him. Mainly to prove that she really was "fine" and could handle it. And after the case, ok, both cases, she wasn't the same for a while. A little more nervous, little more anxious to prove her toughness.

The bottom line is, Scully doesn't want to be babied. She'll back out only when she decides to back out. You just need to deal with it.