Disclaimer: Once again, its not mine!!!!
Author's note: this chapter was inspired by U2's "Wild Honey" for some reason unknown to me…
Chp.3
"So, you kept a journal?" Juri asked. We sat back to back on my bed.
"I still have it."
"I can understand why."
I rested my hand on one of the soft pillows and closed my eyes. "Sometimes I think she's about to walk through the door and everything will be okay again, but then I…remember."
Juri turned her head over her left shoulder and grasped my hand in hers. "You will always have her memories, right?"
"Yes, I suppose. It's just been so difficult to go on living these past few days though, you know? It's like every time I go to sleep, I can smell her on the sheets and in the air and it just tears me apart."
Juri turned around again and I heard her breathe deeply. "You still haven't finished the story by the way. I have yet to see how it relates to Shiori."
"I'm not sure I want to tell you the rest." It might have sounded rude but all this was filling me with painful guilt and remorse.
"Please, Miki. When you let it go, you'll be that much closer to healing yourself."
Instead of answering, I got up and went to the closet. Opening it, I pulled out a long black dress.
"Was that…"
I ran my fingers across the fabric. "It was hers. She wore it to the end-of-school dance. Did you go?"
"Yes, but what has that got to do with anything?"
"A lot, but I'll come to it later." And then I began the next portion of my tale.
2 weeks and 2 days earlier:
The journal was harder than it seemed. Whenever I wanted to write, nothing would come to me and I was stuck just describing my boring day at school. Not exactly great material.
By the third day though, I had something to jot down. My most recent episode with Kozue. It happened after the announcement of the summer dance was posted and I was on my way to lunch. A girl that I didn't really know, but had seen around, came to me and was nearly babbling incoherently with excitement.
"Um, hi, um, Miki," she squealed.
"Hello," I said, not slowing my pace. I was really hungry.
"Wait a second!" she called after me. "I need to ask you something!"
I stopped and turned. "Yes?"
She labored at getting the words out. "D-do you h-h-have a date for the d-d-d-dance?" Her face turned a peculiar shade of crimson.
I laughed. "No, I don't. Are you asking me?"
She shook her head furiously, her ponytail bouncing.
"Well—" I started but then something interrupted me. A very loud something. Kozue. She was instantly by my side and then she stepped between the girl and me.
"What do you want with Miki?" she snarled.
The girl seemed to have been struck dumb so I answered instead. "She was asking me to the dance."
She looked the girl up and down and said, "He's already got a date."
The girl, having momentarily regained her speech, said, "But, he—"
"I said he's already got a date!" and the girl scampered off quickly, obviously frightened.
"Kozue, why did you do that?!"
"You deserve better than that bitch. She just noticed you for your looks, not your personality. I'm the only one who really knows anything about you."
"Well, who am I going with then?"
"Me, stupid. Then I can make sure you won't get yourself seduced by some slut, right?" and she walked away, humming to herself.
I stood nonplussed. The whole time she was talking, I watched her lips. I wondered what it would be like to kiss them…
That night, I stayed up with my journal. Kozue had gone to sleep hours ago but I was in bed with a flashlight, scribbling away. Here's what I had so far:
Today was good. Nothing really happened. Except that this girl asked me to the dance but Kozue said that I was going with her. Why is she so possesive? Maybe she feels the same way about me? Oh, I have finally come to a conclusion. I love her.
I yanked my pencil away from the wrinkled paper in shock. I had written those words without even thinking. "I love her"? No, that wasn't right. I was her brother. She was my sister. Wrong, all of it wrong. I erased as hard as I could but the letters were almost permanently etched onto the line. While the color was gone, the imprint of the phrase remained, penetrating through my eyes. Saving itself to my memory.
I looked down on Kozue's sleeping form. She was so beautiful while she slept and I stared for minutes before perceiving how tired I was. I lay down and faced her, inches from her nose, our lips nearly…touching…
She was breathing in and out slowly, almost rhythmically and it put me in a trance. I knew that this was a perfect moment between us. Maybe I could love her. Maybe, if she never knew. Maybe if I never officially let my brain know so it wouldn't interfere with my heart.
God, love's a bitch.
Author's note: Is Kozue less OOC now?????? I have the most trouble with her personality!!!!!
Author's note: this chapter was inspired by U2's "Wild Honey" for some reason unknown to me…
Chp.3
"So, you kept a journal?" Juri asked. We sat back to back on my bed.
"I still have it."
"I can understand why."
I rested my hand on one of the soft pillows and closed my eyes. "Sometimes I think she's about to walk through the door and everything will be okay again, but then I…remember."
Juri turned her head over her left shoulder and grasped my hand in hers. "You will always have her memories, right?"
"Yes, I suppose. It's just been so difficult to go on living these past few days though, you know? It's like every time I go to sleep, I can smell her on the sheets and in the air and it just tears me apart."
Juri turned around again and I heard her breathe deeply. "You still haven't finished the story by the way. I have yet to see how it relates to Shiori."
"I'm not sure I want to tell you the rest." It might have sounded rude but all this was filling me with painful guilt and remorse.
"Please, Miki. When you let it go, you'll be that much closer to healing yourself."
Instead of answering, I got up and went to the closet. Opening it, I pulled out a long black dress.
"Was that…"
I ran my fingers across the fabric. "It was hers. She wore it to the end-of-school dance. Did you go?"
"Yes, but what has that got to do with anything?"
"A lot, but I'll come to it later." And then I began the next portion of my tale.
2 weeks and 2 days earlier:
The journal was harder than it seemed. Whenever I wanted to write, nothing would come to me and I was stuck just describing my boring day at school. Not exactly great material.
By the third day though, I had something to jot down. My most recent episode with Kozue. It happened after the announcement of the summer dance was posted and I was on my way to lunch. A girl that I didn't really know, but had seen around, came to me and was nearly babbling incoherently with excitement.
"Um, hi, um, Miki," she squealed.
"Hello," I said, not slowing my pace. I was really hungry.
"Wait a second!" she called after me. "I need to ask you something!"
I stopped and turned. "Yes?"
She labored at getting the words out. "D-do you h-h-have a date for the d-d-d-dance?" Her face turned a peculiar shade of crimson.
I laughed. "No, I don't. Are you asking me?"
She shook her head furiously, her ponytail bouncing.
"Well—" I started but then something interrupted me. A very loud something. Kozue. She was instantly by my side and then she stepped between the girl and me.
"What do you want with Miki?" she snarled.
The girl seemed to have been struck dumb so I answered instead. "She was asking me to the dance."
She looked the girl up and down and said, "He's already got a date."
The girl, having momentarily regained her speech, said, "But, he—"
"I said he's already got a date!" and the girl scampered off quickly, obviously frightened.
"Kozue, why did you do that?!"
"You deserve better than that bitch. She just noticed you for your looks, not your personality. I'm the only one who really knows anything about you."
"Well, who am I going with then?"
"Me, stupid. Then I can make sure you won't get yourself seduced by some slut, right?" and she walked away, humming to herself.
I stood nonplussed. The whole time she was talking, I watched her lips. I wondered what it would be like to kiss them…
That night, I stayed up with my journal. Kozue had gone to sleep hours ago but I was in bed with a flashlight, scribbling away. Here's what I had so far:
Today was good. Nothing really happened. Except that this girl asked me to the dance but Kozue said that I was going with her. Why is she so possesive? Maybe she feels the same way about me? Oh, I have finally come to a conclusion. I love her.
I yanked my pencil away from the wrinkled paper in shock. I had written those words without even thinking. "I love her"? No, that wasn't right. I was her brother. She was my sister. Wrong, all of it wrong. I erased as hard as I could but the letters were almost permanently etched onto the line. While the color was gone, the imprint of the phrase remained, penetrating through my eyes. Saving itself to my memory.
I looked down on Kozue's sleeping form. She was so beautiful while she slept and I stared for minutes before perceiving how tired I was. I lay down and faced her, inches from her nose, our lips nearly…touching…
She was breathing in and out slowly, almost rhythmically and it put me in a trance. I knew that this was a perfect moment between us. Maybe I could love her. Maybe, if she never knew. Maybe if I never officially let my brain know so it wouldn't interfere with my heart.
God, love's a bitch.
Author's note: Is Kozue less OOC now?????? I have the most trouble with her personality!!!!!