Disclaimer: Same as last time.
A/N: In the infamous words of Lady Katharine Heartspark: YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
I've crossed the
last line
From where I can't return
Where every step I took in faith betrayed me
And led me from my home
And sweet
Sweet surrender
Is all that I have to give
Sarah McLachlan – "Sweet Surrender"
Underneath the Surface – Chapter 13 – The Dangerous Lives of Lap Dancers
Kel had decided that she was officially screwed.
It was an hour away from her date with Neal and she had no idea what to wear.
She had thought about wearing one blue dress that she though would be perfect. She had discovered that she had grown out of it maybe two years ago.
Her next choice had been a green dress that ended a bit below her knees. She saw that it was ripped in about five different places in the seams.
Kel had been staring at the inside of her closet in contemplation for a while before digging through the back of it to find anything that she could wear. She had narrowed her choices down to two dresses: a black dress that sported a pattern of red flowers, and The Red Dress.
Yes, that Red Dress.
Since The Red Dress had been officially ruled out as a possibility, she had eventually decided on the black one. It came down to a little below her knees. It was casual, but dressy at the same time. She had bought the dress by herself, so she was assured that the neckline was acceptable. She wondered why she had never wanted to wear it before.
Then she remembered.
She was saving it for a special occasion.
Today, she wanted to impress Neal.
Thus, wearing it would be a good idea.
Now where did that thought come from?
Slipping on the dress, she was relieved that it fit well enough for her to wear. She didn't even want to imagine the scream that would have resounded through the halls if it hadn't fit and she had to resort to wearing that – monstrosity.
Kel combed her hair and cleaned her teeth. She was about to go and ask Yuki if she had any facepaint when she realized that that was a very stupid idea.
'Why am I getting so worked up over this?' Kel mused as she slipped on shoes. They were the only pair of slippers she owned. Thankfully, they were black, so they matched with everything. She slipped a small, sheathed dagger in her shoes that, thankfully, wasn't uncomfortable when she tried to walk.
'I mean... it's Neal. Neal - my best friend, Neal. I spent so much time getting dressed up that I forgot that it's just him. Why am I getting dressed up anyway? It's not like anything's going to happen anyway. Not that I want anything to happen. Of course not. That would be – silly. Silly and fruitless. Because of the whole marriage thing. Yeah. That. Right.'
Kel shook her head. She was thinking way too into this...
'It's not like we're going to do anything stupid, like have sex or something – '"Did I just think that?"
"Gah!"
Kel's eyes widened at her own mental perverseness. She needed to stop thinking these things...
Checking herself in the mirror one last time ('Since when did I care so much about how I look for Neal?'), Kel decided to sit in her chair.
And wait.
Kel had discovered that waiting could be a very redundant thing after a while.
Waiting made her think.
Her thoughts tended to be slightly – perverse.
They were mostly about Neal.
And Neal stripping.
And Neal naked.
And Neal naked with her.
They were bad, bad, thoughts.
Kel finally settled on pacing around her room until seven.
She discovered that it really was possible to wear a hole in your carpet.
Finally, Kel sat down. There was no use in worrying about it. She would go out with Neal, and it would be over with.
Unless, they did something afterwards...
'Bad thought, bad thought, bad thought...'
Kel stood up again.
And paced.
And paced.
Until, finally, at five minutes to seven, a knock came from her door.
'Finally,' Kel thought silently as she walked over to her door. 'It's about time he got here...'
Kel opened the door.
Dom was standing there.
'Oh... we're going to have a field day with this one...'
"Eh... Dom. It's… you. Here. At my door. How... nice."
Kel gave a forced smile that made her teeth hurt. She felt so unclean, so – fake. She hated lying to him, and boy, this lie would have to be a doosie is she was going to get away with still going out with Neal tonight.
"Kel – you look so... robust,' Dom struggled to find the right word.
Kel grinned tightly. "Well, that's me. Robust 'ole Kel, they call me."
'Just smile and lie. Just lie and smile.'
"Eh... right. Um... why are you all dressed up?"
Kel coughed. "Well... you see…" Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Neal coming down the hallway. "I was going to go and surprise you," she said, embracing Dom so that she could see over his back. She motioned frantically to Neal to get back.
"But then... well... I got sick!" Kel pulled away and coughed, to prove her point.
Dom raised an eyebrow. "So... you were coming to see me... but got sick."
Kel smiled agreeably. "Yup. You see – I didn't want to get you sick too!"
Dom looked at her.
"Do you have a man in your closet?"
Kel blinked. "No! How could you ever think that, Dom? What do you take me for, some court whore?"
Dom's stance automatically became defensive. "No, of course not, Kel, you've just been acting sort of – "
"Sort of what, Domitan of Masbolle? Did you think I was – gods forbid – sleeping with another man? Who did you think it was? Maybe Cleon, or perhaps Owen, or maybe even-" she gasped for effect "-My Lord Raoul!"
Dom's eyes widened. "No, no, of course not Kel, I just – eh..."
"Fine then! Be like that! Think me a strumpet of the court!"
She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at him.
Dom blinked before Kel let out a snort.
"No, I'm sorry Dom, I'll see you tomorrow," she said as her frown turned inexplicably into a smile. "I was just fooling around with you."
Dom blinked. "Ah... heh... great joke, Kel. Go ahead and scare the loins off of me. No big deal. Heh..."
His voice was just a tad dry.
Kel frowned. "You're not mad, are you? I mean... I wanted to go, but then I got sick (cough), and I just didn't want to risk you, too." She looked at him pleadingly. "I didn't mean to, you know, scare the loins off of you." She blushed.
Dom looked at her for a moment before nodding and giving her a small grin. "Don't worry about it, love. It's no big deal. Do you want me to send Meathead up to have a look at you?"
Kel shook her head vehemently. "No, that's all right. I'll be fine in the morning. Just – I'm going to get undressed and go straight to bed. So don't come up here at one in the morning, checking on me, please? I want to be well rested for tomorrow."
Dom nodded. "All right. Are you so contagious that I can't give you a goodbye kiss?"
Kel gave a forced smile. "No, of course not."
Dom leaned over and kissed her lightly, but lingeringly on the lips before drawing back and smiling. "Feel better." He kissed her forehead for emphasis before turning away and walking out the door.
Kel released the breath she hadn't known she had been holding. It wasn't every day your lover of a sorts walks in on you getting ready for a date with his cousin.
When she was sure that Dom had left the area, she peeked out of the hallway. "Neal?" she hissed. Neal emerged from around a corner, red faced and breathless. He was holding a single white rose. Kel gave a wry smile. Leave it to him to always think of the romantics...
"I didn't know milady needed to see a doctor," Neal said as he sauntered up to her door. "Maybe I should have come by earlier," he drawled, leaning on the doorframe so that his face was near hers.
"Maybe you should have," Kel said softly, smiling as Neal bent over to kiss her cheek. He pulled back smiling.
"Then again," Neal said, running fingers over his chin. "It's contagious. It would have been a shame if I got sick."
"Oh, of course. A large shame, in fact."
"Are you mocking me?"
"To the best of my abilities."
"I'm hurt, milady."
"You'll be even more hurt if you don't stop being such a tease and come inside." Kel stepped away from the door, allowing Neal to enter.
Neal eyed her appreciatively as her walked inside and handed her the rose. "All dressed up for me, Kel? I'm touched."
"Touched in the head, you mean," Kel retorted as she closed the door behind him and took it.
Neal snorted and as Kel took in all of him. There was nothing fancy about what he was wearing – nothing unusual to make him stand out and look more appealing that usual – but he looked somehow – different. More edible.
'Again with the bad thoughts, Kel?'"You look beautiful, Kel," Neal murmured as he walked over to her. "Not too much – no facepaint or anything – but it works. Strangely, it works. You see, I've been reading those ladies magazines of yours, and that whole 'less is more' thing really seems to suit you." He nodded to himself as he took her in.
"Neal, sometimes I really wonder about you."
"It wouldn't be healthy if you didn't."
Kel laughed as she reached over and gave him a friendly hug. "So what are we doing tonight?"
Neal shrugged. "What do you want to do? I was thinking a friendly romp in that corner right over there..." he nodded to the far side of her room "and then we could maybe have a pleasant game of–" he coughed "-tunnel over on the bed over there..." He smiled devilishly.
"Tunnel?"
"Use your imagination."
Kel turned a brilliant scarlet.
"At least I know I have you thinking in a perverse enough way." Neal grinned.
"Excuse you, I had enough perverse thoughts running through my head that I really don't need any more, thank you very much," Kel snapped at him, while trying to hide the steady heat rising to her face by turning away.
"Really? Now who would those perverse thoughts be about, hm?"
"None of your business."
"You've been daydreaming about Cleon again, haven't you."
Kel just looked at him in mild annoyance.
"I know you have that little fantasy about having a tryst with Cleon, but really, Neal. Get over it. Just because you can't have him doesn't mean that you can tease me about it."
Neal pulled back in shock. "Wow, Kel. You're really standing up for yourself. I'm impressed. Not many women who I've shown interest in call me gay."
"So you admit you've shown interest in me?"
Neal blushed before he could control his emotions. "No... I mean interested in a – friendly way. How silly of you to think that I would ever want to court you."
"Yes, very silly." Kel snorted.
Neal stared at her. "What?"
"Nothing," she said, a smile plastered on her face. "It's nothing. Really. Let's just go."
"But you're contagious. Wouldn't want to contaminate the slums of Corus."
"You're taking me to the slums of Corus?"
"Not exactly."
"Is it a bad thing that I'm scared already?"
"It's quite a good possibility."
"So where are you taking me?"
"It's a surprise."
"Are you taking me to a whore house?"
"No, although the look on your face when we walked in would be worth the pummeling."
"Are you taking me anywhere x-rated?"
Neal blinked.
"Never mind."
* ~ * ~ * ~ *
"There's no way in hell."
Neal snorted as he dragged Keladry inside.
"There's no fucking way in hell."
"Oh, come on, Kel. It'll be fun."
"You know about the reputation this place has! And you brought me here! And I asked you if you were taking me anywhere x-rated!"
"I never answered the question, if you remember correctly."
"That's not the point! I can't believe you took me to a strip joint!"
"You need to know how to do it correctly. I'm just showing you the path."
Kel seethed at him as they stood outside the building where Neal had taken her to have dinner. They had been arguing for about the past five minutes as to whether or not to go in. Technically, it was a strip joint/restaurant.
Kel tried not to sweat the technicalities, but this was taking it a tad too far.
It was still a strip joint, and as far as Kel was concerned, that was reason enough not to go in, despite her grumbling stomach.
"I am not going in there to learn how to strip," Kel said dryly.
"You need it for Dom. When the big night finally comes, you don't want to be totally inexperienced."
Kel blinked. "I can't believe you just said that."
"You can't believe I took you to a strip joint either, but I did that too."
"That's not the point."
"Yeah it is, now come on."
Neal dragged Kel inside.
"Two?" the hostess asked at the entrance.
"Yes," Neal said as he clung to the struggling Kel.
"I take it your date doesn't want to be here?" the hostess murmured to Neal as she took two menus from the desk.
"She's a little reluctant," Neal explained as he nodded.
"Ah. First timer?"
"First timer."
"We'll just have to give her the special treatment. Honey?" the hostess said, turning to the still struggling Keladry. Kel blinked and looked at her.
"What?"
The woman smiled sweetly. "Don't worry. Nothing embarrassing is going to happen to you against your will. We're respectful to our customers. Whether you came here for some good food, or to get a little head, we understand." She nodded agreeably.
Kel's eyes widened.
"Now, if you two will take your seats." She ushered Kel and Neal over to a booth that would have a good view of the stage.
Kel glared at Neal.
Neal smiled pleasantly.
The hostess left them to their menus, saying that if they needed anything that their waiter would be Jean-Claude. Kel snorted under her breath.
"Why the long face, Kel?" Neal pouted at her mockingly.
"I hate you."
"A good reason to be frowning. Don't worry, though. Most people can't stand hating me for too long. It gets too taxing."
"Oh, I have a feeling that I'll be hating you for a very long while. I have quite a bit of resistance for things that would be normally very taxing to others."
"Not when it comes to me."
"Especially when it comes to you."
Neal raised an eyebrow and shrugged. "Whatever you say, Kel. But when you decide that being mad at me is too tiring for you, I'll be waiting."
"..."
"Waiting. Just... waiting. Right here, at this very table."
"..."
"And – and I'll be here. For a while. Just – waiting." Neal nodded his head and pursed his lips together to hide the smile that was emerging on his face.
"..."
"And then-"
"Oh, Mithros, Neal, would you shut up?" Kel interrupted, her eyes blazing. "I'll talk to you, okay? I'll stop hating you for a brief period of time, so you stop babbling!" she snapped.
"No need to be so touchy, Keladry. It's not attractive when a woman raises her voice."
"I don't give a fuck. My life's messed up as it is."
"It's also not attractive when a woman uses such language."
"You know what Neal?" Kel asked, sitting up and bringing her face close to his. "It doesn't matter. Because – big surprise – no one's attracted to me anyway! The only person that even wants to court me is someone that I sometimes can't stand to be around. And you know why that is, Neal? It's because every time he kisses me, or holds me, or touches me, I feel like I'm cheating on you! Isn't that just grand? Why do I feel like I'm cheating on you, Neal? Is it some colossal defect I have, that makes me want to fuck you? Gods! I can't believe you brought me to a strip joint!"
Neal blinked as Kel pulled away and sat back in her chair, slumping, crossing her arms across her chest.
"You want – you want to fuck me?"
"Yeah, Neal. I want to fuck you." She rolled her eyes.
He blinked.
"Oh."
Kel snorted.
Distantly, she heard music come on in the background. She couldn't care less if she tried. She had just told Neal some very personal things. She really shouldn't have done that...
Neal looked at Kel from across the table with soft eyes. 'Why the hell did I do to deserve this, Mithros? Gods... why does everything have to be so confusing? I sound like a woman, with all the problems in my love life... Kel wants to fuck me... What am I doing? Kel wants to fuck me... Stop thinking that... Kel wants to fuck me... this is... different... Kel wants to fuck me... GAH! Stop thinking that!"
"Kel?" Neal's voice was hoarse.
"What?" she snapped coldly.
"You want to go?"
Kel turned to look at him very slowly. His arms were folded across his chest, his eyes sincere. He was gazing at her in a very intent mannerism. She didn't particularly like his glance, and the meaning underneath it, but... his eyes were so sorrowful. She couldn't just – reject him when he looked at her like that. One, it made her feel guilty. Mind you, she could have dealt with it if it was just the guilt getting to her. But his look... it made her feel loved. You couldn't be looked at like that and not feel love. Not that Kel had much experience in that department, but still...
She just couldn't say no.
"Fine."
Neal nodded and looked down at the table. "You know, we could go back, and I could buy some ingredients or something, and cook you dinner, maybe. We could have a real date. I mean... it'll probably taste pretty crappy, but it's the thought that counts, I guess..." His voice trailed off.
Kel swallowed and looked at him, then nodded. "Yeah. I mean – sure. I'd – I'd like that."
Neal nodded. "Good. That's – that's good."
"So we should probably be going."
"Right. That. The whole 'going' thing."
"It helps."
They looked up at each other at the same time and decided to get up. Kel thought that she was home free until she saw that everyone in the restaurant was looking at her and a half-dressed man standing near her.
Kel blinked. 'What in the name of Mithros...?'
She looked across the room. There was a man on stage grinning at her and the man expectantly.
"Ladies and gentlemen, it looks like our lady specimen hasn't been paying attention to the show," the man said, his smile widening.
Kel blinked. 'Oh, fuck...'
She gave a tight, and utterly forced smile at the audience and risked shooting a glance at Neal. She saw him shrug in uncertainty, and move forward closer to her.
The man on the stage was smiling again. "My dear," he began, speaking to Kel. "We've been informed that it was your first time here by your gentleman friend, over there next to you."
'Gentleman. Ha. That's a good one.'
"We always have a special show for our first time visitants."
'This is not happening...'
"Jason, over there, next to you, is going to show what kind of show we put on for our first time customers.'
'You have to be shitting me...'
Jason smiled at her and moved closer to her. He was actually shorter than her, which was a bit of an oddity. What he lacked in height he made up in beauty. He was pretty, rather than handsome, with shoulder length blonde hair and dark blue eyes. Kel would have said that he reminded her of Joren in a strange, odd way. He slid up to her with a wicked smile on his face that said that he thoroughly enjoyed what he was doing.
Kel backed up a step.
"Don't worry," he whispered. "It's just a lap dance. Nothing to be nervous about."
Kel blanched. 'Lap... dance?'
"Oh no," she started, shaking her head as she backed away from him. "No lap dances today. Or any day, for that matter. You come near me, and I swear, I'll do something you'll regret."
Neal moved up to put a body between them. "You heard the lady. She doesn't want to be touched."
"Cut me a break!" Jason whispered feverishly. "I gotta get my pay somehow! All I'll be doing is giving her a lap dance!"
"Is there a problem down there?" the man on stage called down to them.
"Not at all!" Jason called. "Boyfriend's getting a bit protective, is all."
Kel knelt down and fingered the edge of her boot. Without hesitation, she grabbed the dagger from inside it and unsheathed it, bringing it up so Jason could see it.
"You come anywhere near me, and you can guess where this is going," she growled at him.
Jason backed away.
Neal took Kel's arm and led her to the door. The man on the stage was frowning.
"What? She doesn't want to have a little fun?"
Kel and Neal ignored him.
* ~ * ~ * ~ *
"Okay, so with this boiling water thing, how do you do it?"
Kel sighed. She hadn't known it would be this hard for him to cook something like pasta.
"You start the fire, and wait. And wait. And then when it gets all bubbly, it's boiled."
"Ah. Makes sense."
"Doesn't it?"
"Yeah." Neal started a fire in Kel's fireplace. He had gotten a pot to hang over it from one of the cooks in the kitchen - after giving an ample amount of money to him, of course.
"So... then we wait."
"You're so smart, Neal."
"Why, thank you."
"Do you even have the tiniest ability to recognize when I'm being sarcastic?"
"Not a stitch."
Kel sighed.
"So what do you want to do while we're waiting for the water to boil?"
"Uhm... wanna talk about you wanting to fuck me?"
"No."
"Ah. Well, you want to talk about Dom?"
"No."
"Huh. What about that guy who wanted to give you a lap dance?"
Kel contemplated her choices. She decided that this was the best one yet.
"Sure."
"You scared the shit out of him."
"Great observation skills you have going for you, Neal."
"Why, thank you."
Kel sighed.
"So, did you think he was cute?"
Kel looked at him.
He shrugged. "What? It's always good to ask. Just in case."
Kel shook her head.
"Hey, Neal?"
"Yeah?"
"Why didn't they give you one of those 'first timer shows'?"
Neal turned red.
"You've been there before, haven't you?"
"No..."
"You went to a strip club because you couldn't get any before you met Yuki."
Neal turned redder.
"No..."
"Heh... you're pathetic, Neal."
"It's not like I had sex or anything there. I mean... I wouldn't have to pay to get any. I could get some on my own."
"Sure."
"What, you don't believe me?"
"No."
Neal scowled at her. "I'll have you know that I was not a virgin before Yuki."
"That's because you paid to get some."
"I did not!"
"Fine."
"No, it's not fine. You don't believe me!"
"Great powers of deduction."
"You're doing this on purpose."
"Darn right."
"Why?"
"You took me to a strip joint."
"You're never going to let me live that down, are you?"
"Nope."
Neal let out an aggravated sigh.
"Hey, how long does it take for water to boil, anyway?"
"Couple of minutes."
"Huh. So I'm going to have to endure a couple of minutes more of your grudge-holding comments?"
"No. You're going to have to endure a lifetime of my grudge-holding comments."
"Great."
"Isn't it though?"
* ~ * ~ * ~ *
"Well. That was – interesting."
"Definitely."
"We should do it again."
"Most definitely."
"You cook crappy pasta, Neal."
"I know."
"Hm." Kel glanced down at her plate. Where there had once been pasta a couple of minutes ago there now was only a bit of sauce. For crappy tasting spaghetti, she had eaten every last bit of it. Neal had pointed out as much.
"I was hungry," Kel responded in explanation. "If we had just eaten at a normal restaurant, instead of you taking me to a strip joint, we wouldn't have had this problem."
"Would you stop rubbing it in? I made a mistake. Although the look on your face was priceless when you found out where we were going."
"A true Kodak moment."
"What's a Kodak?"
"Never mind, Neal."
Kel laughed, and her voice rolled over Neal like sweet honey. He suddenly realized that he wouldn't mind hearing her laugh for every day of his life.
"So... uh... you should probably be going." Kel looked at him and bit her lip.
"Yeah. That whole 'going' thing."
"Right."
Kel looked up at him, still biting her lip, when Neal suddenly broke out into a smile.
Kel raised an eyebrow. "What is it?"
Neal laughed. "Nothing. It's nothing, really."
"Tell me?" Kel asked, her voice soft.
Neal looked at her for a moment before shrugging. "When I was younger, I overheard my father making a bet with Lady Alanna."
Kel blinked. "Well... that's nice."
Neal snorted. "Don't you even want to know what the bet was about?"
"Since I know you're going to tell me anyway, you might as well get it over with."
Neal shook his head. "Anyway, I-" he coughed "-accidentally overheard-"
"Eavesdropped," Kel corrected.
Neal shrugged. "So I was-" he scowled at Kel "-eavesdropping, and I heard this bet that father and Alanna were making."
He stopped there for a moment, contemplating what to say next.
"And?" Kel urged him on.
"Alanna made a bet that we would end up together. In fact, she bet seventeen gold nobles on it."
"Seventeen gold nobles? What person in their right mind would do that?"
"Whoever said Alanna was in her right mind?"
Kel snorted and leaned back in her chair. "But that's ridiculous. I mean... you and me... we would never... you know..." Her voice trailed off.
"I know. That's what I told father when he asked what our-" he coughed "-'relationship' was."
Kel laughed. "Well, I'm glad to know I'm making someone money." She shook her head.
"You make Lord Raoul enough money when he bets on your jousting matches."
Kel made a face. "But that's – different."
Neal raised an eyebrow. "How so?"
Kel shrugged. "I don't know. It just is."
Neal let off a small chuckle. "You're confusing yourself again."
Kel eyed him. "Oh... bugger off. You should be leaving. It's past your bed time."
"What about your bed time?"
"My bed time is whenever I want it to be. Now off with you."
Neal simply sat on his chair.
Kel blinked. "Well, didn't you hear me? Off with you!"
A grin started to form on Neal's face.
"Oh gods. What are you thinking now?"
Neal's grin grew steadily wider.
Kel raised an eyebrow. "Are you going to tell me or just have me sit here staring at you like an idiot?"
Neal snorted. Leaning forward, he rested his elbows on his knees and drew closer to her. "I was thinking..."
"Something you don't do very readily, but go on."
Neal made a face at her, but continued. "So I was thinking. The day of the ball, when we had our little 'bet,' you knew Kate was an empath."
Kel raised an eyebrow. "Yeah? So?"
"So... you cheated."
Kel stared at him. "So...?"
"Well, since you cheated, you shouldn't get off without doing your part of the bet."
Kel blinked.
"No way in hell."
"Why? That's not fair!"
"Life's not fair. I'm not stripping for you because I knew something that you didn't."
"But you cheated!" he said, standing up and stalking towards her.
"So what? I'm not stripping for you! What is with you and your obsession with stripping, anyway?"
"I do not have an obsession for stripping!"
"Yes, you do! It's all you talk about! And all you do, for that matter!"
"That's not true!"
"Yes it is!"
"No it's not!"
"Doesn't this get redundant for you after a while?"
"Not at all! Strip for me?"
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"No."
"Yes."
"Ha! You said yes!"
Kel scowled. "No...fuck."
"You said yes. You can't go back on it now."
"No..." Kel whined. "I don't want to strip for you. Please?"
Neal grinned. "You better put on a good show, Kel."
Kel pouted. "I can't believe I'm doing this..."
Neal seated himself on her couch.
She glared at him as she kicked her shoes off.
"Is that enough?"
Neal snorted. "No chance in hell."
Kel scowled at him. "Fine." She reached under her dress and slid her loins to her ankles. Kicking them off, she picked them up and threw them at him, glaring the entire time.
Neal eyed her panties. "Huh."
"And you're giving me those back when I'm done. I'm not giving you the satisfaction of keeping them in some secret drawer full of other women's underwear that you stole through the years."
"Kel," Neal started, getting up off his spot on the couch. "You're not – doing it right."
Kel blinked. "What do you mean, I'm not doing it right?"
"You can't – do it like that."
"I'm stripping for you. What more do you want?"
"Look, you have to do it – slowly," Neal said, drawing out the word slowly for the effect.
Kel stared at him. "You're lucky you're getting this much, don't push it."
"No, no," Neal said, walking up to her. "Look, you have to do it sorta... well, sensually."
"I can't believe you just said that."
"Here, look," Neal said as he backed away from her a bit. He slowly began sliding his tunic off, like he had done during the ball. Kel's eyes widened.
"See?" Neal asked as he pulled the tunic off and threw it to the ground.
Kel stared at his chest as a steady heat came to her cheeks.
"Kel?" he asked, walking up to her and putting two fingers under her chin, forcing her to look at him.
"Do-do it again?" she stuttered. "I – I didn't quite get it the first time."
Neal raised an eyebrow as he began unbuttoning his shirt.
Kel swallowed, her throat tightening painfully as she watched Neal's hands rove over the material of his shirt. He was doing this on purpose, and she had walked right into it. His hands worked down his chest, starting from the collar and moving down to undo the top button of his shirt.
'I wonder if he's doing this for my benefit, or he just likes feeling himself up.' Kel paused in his thoughts. 'Then again, I don't know which would be worse.'
Neal watched her, his face a blank mask. His eyes betrayed him nothing. She wished he would at least give her a clue of what he was feeling, instead of leaving her there, staring at his chest and hands.
At that moment, she hated herself. She hated herself for letting this get out of control, hated herself for wanting him, and hated herself for – put simply – needing him. Kel hadn't needed anyone but herself in a long time. When she had been out on the border, she had learned to rely on her own abilities and instincts, rather than those of others. She had created a protective little barrier around herself and hadn't let those shields drop.
Until now, of course.
Strangely, she didn't mind.
By then, Neal was done unbuttoning his shirt. Kel reached out and placed an uncertain hand on his chest. Neal eyed her hesitantly, watching her movements to intense degree. He swallowed, and his throat bobbed up and down. Kel's eyes moved to meet his.
Slowly, she brought her other hand up to touch his chest. She cautiously brushed her hands over his shoulders, causing his shirt to fall to his sides. Neal straightened his arms and it fell to the ground.
Kel's eyes were still locked with his, their look uncertain, undecided. Neal moved his hands up to meet her arms and pull her closer. Kel braced herself again his chest as she moved up against him. Neal looked down at her and kissed her.
His mouth was warm and tender against hers. The texture of his lips was soft; gentle. He wasn't rushing her. His arms subconsciously tightened against hers as he pulled her closer to meld her against his chest.
Kel suddenly realized that she was scared. Scared of this, scared of him, and scared of what they might do. She was closer to losing her virginity than she had ever been. To make things better, it was with a man who was currently getting married to someone she considered a good friend. Kel generally tried not to hurt her friends.
She broke away, her breathing arduous, the gaze in her eyes heavy. She couldn't do this... she just – couldn't.
"Neal," she started, looking up at him. "We – we can't."
"I know," he replied.
She stared up at him. "You – you should go."
"I should."
Silence passed through the night, and all that was left was the sound of their struggled breathing.
"So then... the door... it's over there."
"It is, isn't it?"
Neal tried to put on a brave front, but Kel could tell that he was just as aroused as she was. The only thing to stop this would be to walk away...
So she did.
She turned away from him, her back facing him, and walked toward the wall. She couldn't look at him. If she looked at him, she wouldn't be able to stop herself. She was painfully aroused – just a simple kiss had made her stomach tighten with suppressed desire.
She listened for a movement. Anything to tell her that he was leaving. She waited for a moment and heard nothing. Neal was just standing there, half naked, in her living room. And he wasn't making any advances to leave.
"Kel?"
She heard the voice from behind her, but refused to acknowledge it. If she said anything, it would be like inviting him to continue. Continuing would be very, very bad for her body.
"Is it hard?" Neal asked from across the room.
Kel swallowed. She hated him at this instant. Hated him for making her want him, hated him for being so irresistible, and hated him for looking so damn good with his shirt off.
"What?" she asked, her voice cracking dangerously, even as she refused to face him.
"To court someone you know you'll never love," Neal said softly.
Kel froze. Part of her wanted to lie to him. To say that she loved Dom and that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. She wouldn't have to face up to Neal's statement. She could just tell him that she loved Dom and that would be it. Things wouldn't go further if Neal thought that she was in love with Dom. Put simply, though, she didn't think Neal would believe her. He knew her better than anyone. He could tell when she was lying.
Kel swallowed and clutched the wall, her fingertips turning white. Finally, she released them. There wasn't much use in fighting it.
"Yes." Her voice wavered even as she spoke that last word.
A moment of silence resonated through the room as Kel could almost feel Neal's nod from behind her. He came over to her, slowly, making no quick movements as to scare her away. She felt like she was being hunted by a predator far more experienced than she was in the game.
He slowly approached her, touching her shoulder as he walked up behind her. His fingers trailed patterns over her back as he brought strong arms around her waist. He began to leisurely drop soft kisses on her neck.
"Neal-"
He kissed her shoulder...
"I don't think-"
His hand moved down to her thigh, pushing her dress up...
"We should-"
He touched her hip...
"Do-"
He reached his head over her shoulder and kissed her firmly on the mouth.
Kel stopped trying to speak, as suddenly, other things became much more important.
* ~ * ~ * ~ *
Again, YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.