Chapter Five: Guys Have Problems, Too
"What do you guys think of Maria de Menoudos?" Gordo asked suddenly while he, Miranda, and Lizzie were eating lunch.
"That hispanic girl?" Lizzie asked.
"The one with the huge...." Miranda started, but Gordo shot her a Look. "Err..eyes?"
"Yeah. You guys know her?"
"She just broke up with Danny Kessler like two weeks ago. She has an older brother named Jose' who's like a total hottie, and in fifth grade the boys in class started a rumor that it was common knowledge she wore a 40DD." Lizzie remarked. "Even though it was more a like a 32B."
"Yeah, at least back then." Miranda said with a roll of her eyes. "Why are you asking us, Gordo?"
"Ohhh I know why!" Lizzie said. "You like her!"
Gordo blushed slightly. "I do not." he mumbled.
"Aww...look at Gordy blushing!" Lizzie laughed.
"Okay, I know you did not just call me GORDY!" Gordo said. Lizzie shrugged and smiled. "You're awful." Gordo remarked. "Anyway, so I was thinking about asking her out."
"Gordo...I heard she got around." Miranda said suddenly. Lizzie's head shot up to look at Miranda. Everyone in school new that Maria was about as fast as a turtle on ice. So why was Miranda lying?
"Really?" Gordo's brow furrowed.
"Yeah. I don't think she's the type of girl you wanna get involved with." Miranda said.
Gordo shrugged. "Oh well. Oh, I need to go talk to Mr. Pettus about my Science paper, I'll see you guys later."
"Bye Gordo." Lizzie and Miranda said. After he was out of earshot, Lizzie glared at Miranda.
"What?" Miranda asked.
"Why would you lie to Gordo about that girl?"
Miranda shrugged. "I just think he can do better."
"You DO like him! Admit it!"
Miranda sighed. "And what if I do?"
"Just tell him!"
"Why? It's not like he likes me back!" Miranda said.
"Miranda, you don't know that for sure. And I mean, as much time as you two spend together, and the fact that he let you sleep in his bed while he slept on the floor, if he did like you, I wouldn't be surprised." Lizzie said.
"Please. Gordo doesn't want me. He wants..." she made a face. "Maria de Menoudos." she said in fake Spanish accent.
"Miranda, except for the...chest area...you and Maria don't look all that different. Both of you are Mexican, black hair, brown eyes...I mean, you guys could practically be sisters." Lizzie said.
"So?"
"So you don't think maybe Gordo's making a substitution?" Lizzie asked with her eyebrows raised.
Miranda turned around and looked at Gordo, who was currently talking to Mr. Pettus. "You think?"
"Go for it." Lizzie said.
"Maybe I will." Miranda said. Just gotta get the guts to do it first, she added silently.
***
Gordo was getting ready to climb into bed when he heard a tap at his window. He looked and saw Miranda waving at him. He shook his head and walked over to the window to open it.
"You climbed up the lattice, didn't you?" Gordo asked as he helped her through the window.
"Basically." Miranda said.
"Another fight with your parents?" Gordo asked.
"No, I...uh...." Miranda was at a loss for words. She just kept staring at Gordo.
"What's wrong? Why are you....oh." Gordo said as he looked down. He'd forgotten he was only wearing boxers. He picked his jeans off the floor and pulled them on.
"Gordo...do you work out?" Miranda asked. She couldn't stop herself from lightly running her fingers across his abs, feeling the muscles tighten under her fingertips.
"A little bit...why?" Gordo asked. He let out a shaky breath as she touched him.
"Looks good." Miranda murmured.
"Thanks." Gordo said. "So what's up?"
"I just...was lonely." Miranda said. Gordo nodded. Sitting down on the bed, he motioned for her to sit down next to him.
"Couldn't sleep?" Gordo asked.
"No. Too much stuff on my mind." Miranda replied.
Gordo laid back on his bed and sighed. "I know what you mean."
Miranda laid down next to him, rolling over on her side so she could see his face. "Gordo, I know that you go through as much shit as I do, but we never talk about what's bothering you. So what's up?"
"Miranda, I'm fine. Okay? Don't worry about me, you've got way too much stuff on your mind to be worrying about me." Gordo replied.
"Gordo, that's not true! I'm never too busy...or too fucked up...to not worry about you. As much as you worry about me, I should be allowed to worry about you every now and then." Miranda said.
Gordo sighed and stretched. "I guess you're right."
"So, what's wrong?"
"Nothing." Gordo lied. "Nothing, I'm fine."
"Are you sure?" Miranda asked.
"Yeah, I'm cool." Gordo said. "God, would you look? It's past midnight already."
"Wow. Sorry, if I'm keeping you up I can leave..." Miranda said.
"No, it's cool." Gordo said. "We can always sleep in late on Saturday."
"God, that's right. I forgot tomorrow's Friday." Miranda said, yawning.
"You look like you could deal with falling asleep now." Gordo said.
Miranda laid her head on his shoulder. "No, I'm fine."
Gordo sighed. "You wanna stay here tonight?"
"Can I?"
"Yeah. I'll set my alarm an hour early so you can take off before my parents wake up."
"Thanks, Gordo."
"No problem."
"Gordo, you don't have to sleep on the floor tonight."
"Are you saying you wanna sleep on the floor?"
"No, I'm saying we could...share. If you wanted." Miranda said.
Gordo sighed and sat up. "Miranda, I don't think that's such a good idea."
"Oh." Miranda said softly. She felt like crying. Was this Gordo's way of telling her he didn't want her?
"Miranda, it's just..."
"No, you don't need to explain." Miranda said. "In fact, I think I should go. I just think maybe I should try sleeping in my own bed. Haven't really done that in a week you know."
"Miranda, you don't have to..."
"I know." Miranda said. She grabbed her jacket and pulled it back on, heading to the window. "I'll see you in school, Gordo."
"Bye." Gordo said. Gordo sighed and fell back on the bed.
How do you tell your best friend that you didn't want to share a bed with her, because you were afraid you couldn't control yourself? Gordo's heart had practically been in his throat after Miranda had touched him the first time. He felt pathetic. All that because a girl had touched his stomach.
And not just any girl, Miranda! He hadn't really even thought of her in that way up until a few weeks ago. Now, especially now, she was all he could think about. He sighed and got up, looking in the mirror at himself.
"You're pathetic looking, man." Gordo told his reflection. He was barely 5'2, and scrawny. When Miranda had commented on his abs, he almost laughed at her. He looked down at himself and sneered. His chest was practically concave.
Tomorrow he would eat. Work out like usual, but he'd eat. Maybe that's why he didn't have any muscle in his chest yet. But if he ate then it'd all go back to his stomach. And those abs Miranda had commented on would be gone. He sighed. Eating was a problem. Food was a problem. Keeping the food down after he ate it was a problem.
He knew he had to eat tomorrow though, and keep it down. As much as he hated to do it. His parents were already a little suspicious of him, if he passed out or something, it wouldn't get them off his back any easier.
He had felt bad about lying to Miranda when she had asked what was bothering him, but he knew he had to. A fourteen year old boy with an eating disorder. Right. That was something cool. As if he wasn't enough of a freak already, if that got out he'd really be screwed.
Gordo held his hands up in defeat in an effort to sheild his eyes from the mirror. He just needed to stop thinking about it, stop looking at himself. Just for the night. He needed to sleep. Just for a little while. It made him feel lazy, but he was already behind in his studies as it was, falling asleep during class wouldn't help improve his grades any. He had to pull all A's, one B would screw him over for life. It occurred to him that he was still thinking, and he cursed at himself. Slipping his jeans off, he switched off the lamp and crawled into bed. Wishing he hadn't said anything to Miranda, that he had went along with her idea of sharing a bed. It would have been nice. But he just wasn't ready. To know what she really thought of him.
And once what was really going on got out, which he knew it would, he knew her opinion of the normally pulled together Gordo would change forever.
"What do you guys think of Maria de Menoudos?" Gordo asked suddenly while he, Miranda, and Lizzie were eating lunch.
"That hispanic girl?" Lizzie asked.
"The one with the huge...." Miranda started, but Gordo shot her a Look. "Err..eyes?"
"Yeah. You guys know her?"
"She just broke up with Danny Kessler like two weeks ago. She has an older brother named Jose' who's like a total hottie, and in fifth grade the boys in class started a rumor that it was common knowledge she wore a 40DD." Lizzie remarked. "Even though it was more a like a 32B."
"Yeah, at least back then." Miranda said with a roll of her eyes. "Why are you asking us, Gordo?"
"Ohhh I know why!" Lizzie said. "You like her!"
Gordo blushed slightly. "I do not." he mumbled.
"Aww...look at Gordy blushing!" Lizzie laughed.
"Okay, I know you did not just call me GORDY!" Gordo said. Lizzie shrugged and smiled. "You're awful." Gordo remarked. "Anyway, so I was thinking about asking her out."
"Gordo...I heard she got around." Miranda said suddenly. Lizzie's head shot up to look at Miranda. Everyone in school new that Maria was about as fast as a turtle on ice. So why was Miranda lying?
"Really?" Gordo's brow furrowed.
"Yeah. I don't think she's the type of girl you wanna get involved with." Miranda said.
Gordo shrugged. "Oh well. Oh, I need to go talk to Mr. Pettus about my Science paper, I'll see you guys later."
"Bye Gordo." Lizzie and Miranda said. After he was out of earshot, Lizzie glared at Miranda.
"What?" Miranda asked.
"Why would you lie to Gordo about that girl?"
Miranda shrugged. "I just think he can do better."
"You DO like him! Admit it!"
Miranda sighed. "And what if I do?"
"Just tell him!"
"Why? It's not like he likes me back!" Miranda said.
"Miranda, you don't know that for sure. And I mean, as much time as you two spend together, and the fact that he let you sleep in his bed while he slept on the floor, if he did like you, I wouldn't be surprised." Lizzie said.
"Please. Gordo doesn't want me. He wants..." she made a face. "Maria de Menoudos." she said in fake Spanish accent.
"Miranda, except for the...chest area...you and Maria don't look all that different. Both of you are Mexican, black hair, brown eyes...I mean, you guys could practically be sisters." Lizzie said.
"So?"
"So you don't think maybe Gordo's making a substitution?" Lizzie asked with her eyebrows raised.
Miranda turned around and looked at Gordo, who was currently talking to Mr. Pettus. "You think?"
"Go for it." Lizzie said.
"Maybe I will." Miranda said. Just gotta get the guts to do it first, she added silently.
***
Gordo was getting ready to climb into bed when he heard a tap at his window. He looked and saw Miranda waving at him. He shook his head and walked over to the window to open it.
"You climbed up the lattice, didn't you?" Gordo asked as he helped her through the window.
"Basically." Miranda said.
"Another fight with your parents?" Gordo asked.
"No, I...uh...." Miranda was at a loss for words. She just kept staring at Gordo.
"What's wrong? Why are you....oh." Gordo said as he looked down. He'd forgotten he was only wearing boxers. He picked his jeans off the floor and pulled them on.
"Gordo...do you work out?" Miranda asked. She couldn't stop herself from lightly running her fingers across his abs, feeling the muscles tighten under her fingertips.
"A little bit...why?" Gordo asked. He let out a shaky breath as she touched him.
"Looks good." Miranda murmured.
"Thanks." Gordo said. "So what's up?"
"I just...was lonely." Miranda said. Gordo nodded. Sitting down on the bed, he motioned for her to sit down next to him.
"Couldn't sleep?" Gordo asked.
"No. Too much stuff on my mind." Miranda replied.
Gordo laid back on his bed and sighed. "I know what you mean."
Miranda laid down next to him, rolling over on her side so she could see his face. "Gordo, I know that you go through as much shit as I do, but we never talk about what's bothering you. So what's up?"
"Miranda, I'm fine. Okay? Don't worry about me, you've got way too much stuff on your mind to be worrying about me." Gordo replied.
"Gordo, that's not true! I'm never too busy...or too fucked up...to not worry about you. As much as you worry about me, I should be allowed to worry about you every now and then." Miranda said.
Gordo sighed and stretched. "I guess you're right."
"So, what's wrong?"
"Nothing." Gordo lied. "Nothing, I'm fine."
"Are you sure?" Miranda asked.
"Yeah, I'm cool." Gordo said. "God, would you look? It's past midnight already."
"Wow. Sorry, if I'm keeping you up I can leave..." Miranda said.
"No, it's cool." Gordo said. "We can always sleep in late on Saturday."
"God, that's right. I forgot tomorrow's Friday." Miranda said, yawning.
"You look like you could deal with falling asleep now." Gordo said.
Miranda laid her head on his shoulder. "No, I'm fine."
Gordo sighed. "You wanna stay here tonight?"
"Can I?"
"Yeah. I'll set my alarm an hour early so you can take off before my parents wake up."
"Thanks, Gordo."
"No problem."
"Gordo, you don't have to sleep on the floor tonight."
"Are you saying you wanna sleep on the floor?"
"No, I'm saying we could...share. If you wanted." Miranda said.
Gordo sighed and sat up. "Miranda, I don't think that's such a good idea."
"Oh." Miranda said softly. She felt like crying. Was this Gordo's way of telling her he didn't want her?
"Miranda, it's just..."
"No, you don't need to explain." Miranda said. "In fact, I think I should go. I just think maybe I should try sleeping in my own bed. Haven't really done that in a week you know."
"Miranda, you don't have to..."
"I know." Miranda said. She grabbed her jacket and pulled it back on, heading to the window. "I'll see you in school, Gordo."
"Bye." Gordo said. Gordo sighed and fell back on the bed.
How do you tell your best friend that you didn't want to share a bed with her, because you were afraid you couldn't control yourself? Gordo's heart had practically been in his throat after Miranda had touched him the first time. He felt pathetic. All that because a girl had touched his stomach.
And not just any girl, Miranda! He hadn't really even thought of her in that way up until a few weeks ago. Now, especially now, she was all he could think about. He sighed and got up, looking in the mirror at himself.
"You're pathetic looking, man." Gordo told his reflection. He was barely 5'2, and scrawny. When Miranda had commented on his abs, he almost laughed at her. He looked down at himself and sneered. His chest was practically concave.
Tomorrow he would eat. Work out like usual, but he'd eat. Maybe that's why he didn't have any muscle in his chest yet. But if he ate then it'd all go back to his stomach. And those abs Miranda had commented on would be gone. He sighed. Eating was a problem. Food was a problem. Keeping the food down after he ate it was a problem.
He knew he had to eat tomorrow though, and keep it down. As much as he hated to do it. His parents were already a little suspicious of him, if he passed out or something, it wouldn't get them off his back any easier.
He had felt bad about lying to Miranda when she had asked what was bothering him, but he knew he had to. A fourteen year old boy with an eating disorder. Right. That was something cool. As if he wasn't enough of a freak already, if that got out he'd really be screwed.
Gordo held his hands up in defeat in an effort to sheild his eyes from the mirror. He just needed to stop thinking about it, stop looking at himself. Just for the night. He needed to sleep. Just for a little while. It made him feel lazy, but he was already behind in his studies as it was, falling asleep during class wouldn't help improve his grades any. He had to pull all A's, one B would screw him over for life. It occurred to him that he was still thinking, and he cursed at himself. Slipping his jeans off, he switched off the lamp and crawled into bed. Wishing he hadn't said anything to Miranda, that he had went along with her idea of sharing a bed. It would have been nice. But he just wasn't ready. To know what she really thought of him.
And once what was really going on got out, which he knew it would, he knew her opinion of the normally pulled together Gordo would change forever.