Chapter 7: Holding Back
"Best movie I ever saw, I swear to you!" Gordo said as he and Miranda walked out of the movie theatre.
"I thought Pulp Fiction was the best movie you ever saw." Miranda said.
Gordo paused. "Alright, second best. But still! Awesome!"
"Yeah, it was pretty good." Miranda agreed. "What time is it?"
"Eight-ish." Gordo said after glancing at his watch. "Wanna grab a bite to eat?" he rolled his eyes as Miranda shot him a Look. "And I promise I will keep it down this time."
"Okay, good." Miranda said. "Then let's go."
"Digital Bean?" Gordo asked. He and Miranda looked at each other and shook their heads.
"Nope." they both said.
"Somewhere more private?" Gordo asked.
"Yeah." Miranda said.
"Alright, let's go." Gordo said. He took her hand in his and they walked down the streets.
Miranda wanted to die. Gordo was holding her hand! For no reason at all he was holding her hand! She bit her lips to keep herself from grinning like a fool.
"Pizza?" Gordo asked as they stopped in front of a small pizza parlor.
"Fine with me." Miranda said with a shrug.
"Alright." Gordo said. They went inside and got a booth, sitting across from each other.
"So...." Gordo said.
"Yeah...so..." Miranda said.
"Are things going any better at home? We haven't really talked about it much." Gordo asked.
Miranda shrugged, chewing on a breadstick. "Dad's moving out Sunday. Mom's stopped at yelling at him, and started yelling at me."
"Over what?" Gordo asked.
Miranda sighed and rolled her eyes. "Everything. School. My clothes. The way I act." She paused. "You."
"Just...try not to worry about it." Gordo said. "If it gets too intense, you've always got me."
Miranda smiled at him. "I know. And vice versa for you."
***
"Well, I guess I'll see you in school tomorrow." Gordo said as they stood by the tree next to Miranda's window.
"Yeah." Miranda said. 'Come on! Kiss me!' she wanted to scream.
'Come on, man! Kiss her!' Gordo's brain was screaming at him. 'Don't do it. She'll freak out, push you away. She's your friend. Nothing more, nothing less.'
Gordo hesitated for a moment, shifting from foot to foot. "Well...later." Gordo said.
"Yeah, bye." Miranda said. She watched him walk up the street to his own house, and she wanted to bang her head against the oak she was currently leaning against. Maybe she'd had too many garlic breadsticks?
Or maybe she was reading too much into the hand holding thing. It was Gordo, for crying out loud! He'd never think of her that way.
Gordo walked slowly down the road, lit by the overhead street lights and the moon. He scuffed his already permanently scuffed sneakers against the pavement, hands shoved deep in his pockets, head down, brow creased in thought.
She hadn't pulled away when he had held her hand. Or when he put his arm around her in the movies. And she had said he was goodlooking! It had given him a ray of hope, but the more and more he thought about it, the more his hopes were being squashed. This was Miranda. Miranda had crushes on guys like Danny Kessler. Ryan Adams. And...god. Ethan Craft. It made him sick to even think about Ethan. In a way, Ethan was to Gordo as Kate was to Lizzie. Taller, better looking, more popular, better built.
Gordo sighed. He wanted nothing more than to just open up to Miranda and tell her how he really felt. He was sick of holding back.
The Next Day...
"I know you stayed out late last night with David Gordon, Miranda." Daniella Sanchez said without even looking up from her morning paper.
Miranda rolled her eyes and kept staring blankly at the fridge. "Your point?"
"When did you stop respecting me?"
"When you stopped treating me like a human being." Miranda replied.
"Miranda, I am your mother..."
"...and I am the child and I am therefor stupid! I know! I've heard it a thousand times, okay? But guess what? I stopped listening to you when I was ten years old!" Miranda said, glaring at her mother. "Because it never matters what I want, or even what I need anymore!"
"I have had it with you, Miranda!" Daniella yelled, standing up.
"Oh, well then why don't you just finish with me then?" Miranda screamed.
"Will you two calm down?" Edward said, coming into the kitchen.
Daniella glared at him. "You take that one." she said, pointing at Miranda. "I don't want it anymore." She turned and left the room.
Miranda didn't react visibly to her words, but inside, her heart was breaking.
Monday came around, and Miranda dragged herself out of bed and to school. She walked down the hallway to her locker, where Lizzie and Gordo were standing, Lizzie chattering animatedly about her date.
"Miranda! Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry I didn't call you, but..."
"Lizzie, I'm not in the mood right now." Miranda said flatly.
"But..."
"I SAID I'M NOT IN THE MOOD!" Miranda yelled.
Lizzie gave her a hurt look. "Fine. Just...whatever." she looked at Gordo. "I'm gonna go talk to Ethan, bye Gordo."
"Bye." Gordo said as she walked away. He turned to Miranda. "Are you okay?"
"I don't wanna talk to you right now." Miranda said softly, walking away, leaving Gordo standing in the middle of the hallway staring after her, bewildered.
That stung. She didn't want to talk to him? He sighed and leaned up against the lockers. Perfect. Just perfect.
At lunch, Miranda was nowhere to be found, and Lizzie was off cavorting with Ethan and his people, leaving Gordo by himself. Sighing, he went to search for Miranda.
***
Miranda wiped her eyes as she overlooked the school grounds down below her. She was sitting on the roof, just thinking.
"What are you doing up here?" a voice asked. Miranda turned her head sharply.
"Gordo, just go away. I'm not in the mood right now."
"Not in the mood to what?" Gordo asked as he sat down next to her.
"Talk." Miranda said.
Gordo draped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him. She sighed and laid her head down on his shoulder. "So we won't talk."
"Thank you." Miranda whispered.
"When you're ready I'll be here though."
"Best movie I ever saw, I swear to you!" Gordo said as he and Miranda walked out of the movie theatre.
"I thought Pulp Fiction was the best movie you ever saw." Miranda said.
Gordo paused. "Alright, second best. But still! Awesome!"
"Yeah, it was pretty good." Miranda agreed. "What time is it?"
"Eight-ish." Gordo said after glancing at his watch. "Wanna grab a bite to eat?" he rolled his eyes as Miranda shot him a Look. "And I promise I will keep it down this time."
"Okay, good." Miranda said. "Then let's go."
"Digital Bean?" Gordo asked. He and Miranda looked at each other and shook their heads.
"Nope." they both said.
"Somewhere more private?" Gordo asked.
"Yeah." Miranda said.
"Alright, let's go." Gordo said. He took her hand in his and they walked down the streets.
Miranda wanted to die. Gordo was holding her hand! For no reason at all he was holding her hand! She bit her lips to keep herself from grinning like a fool.
"Pizza?" Gordo asked as they stopped in front of a small pizza parlor.
"Fine with me." Miranda said with a shrug.
"Alright." Gordo said. They went inside and got a booth, sitting across from each other.
"So...." Gordo said.
"Yeah...so..." Miranda said.
"Are things going any better at home? We haven't really talked about it much." Gordo asked.
Miranda shrugged, chewing on a breadstick. "Dad's moving out Sunday. Mom's stopped at yelling at him, and started yelling at me."
"Over what?" Gordo asked.
Miranda sighed and rolled her eyes. "Everything. School. My clothes. The way I act." She paused. "You."
"Just...try not to worry about it." Gordo said. "If it gets too intense, you've always got me."
Miranda smiled at him. "I know. And vice versa for you."
***
"Well, I guess I'll see you in school tomorrow." Gordo said as they stood by the tree next to Miranda's window.
"Yeah." Miranda said. 'Come on! Kiss me!' she wanted to scream.
'Come on, man! Kiss her!' Gordo's brain was screaming at him. 'Don't do it. She'll freak out, push you away. She's your friend. Nothing more, nothing less.'
Gordo hesitated for a moment, shifting from foot to foot. "Well...later." Gordo said.
"Yeah, bye." Miranda said. She watched him walk up the street to his own house, and she wanted to bang her head against the oak she was currently leaning against. Maybe she'd had too many garlic breadsticks?
Or maybe she was reading too much into the hand holding thing. It was Gordo, for crying out loud! He'd never think of her that way.
Gordo walked slowly down the road, lit by the overhead street lights and the moon. He scuffed his already permanently scuffed sneakers against the pavement, hands shoved deep in his pockets, head down, brow creased in thought.
She hadn't pulled away when he had held her hand. Or when he put his arm around her in the movies. And she had said he was goodlooking! It had given him a ray of hope, but the more and more he thought about it, the more his hopes were being squashed. This was Miranda. Miranda had crushes on guys like Danny Kessler. Ryan Adams. And...god. Ethan Craft. It made him sick to even think about Ethan. In a way, Ethan was to Gordo as Kate was to Lizzie. Taller, better looking, more popular, better built.
Gordo sighed. He wanted nothing more than to just open up to Miranda and tell her how he really felt. He was sick of holding back.
The Next Day...
"I know you stayed out late last night with David Gordon, Miranda." Daniella Sanchez said without even looking up from her morning paper.
Miranda rolled her eyes and kept staring blankly at the fridge. "Your point?"
"When did you stop respecting me?"
"When you stopped treating me like a human being." Miranda replied.
"Miranda, I am your mother..."
"...and I am the child and I am therefor stupid! I know! I've heard it a thousand times, okay? But guess what? I stopped listening to you when I was ten years old!" Miranda said, glaring at her mother. "Because it never matters what I want, or even what I need anymore!"
"I have had it with you, Miranda!" Daniella yelled, standing up.
"Oh, well then why don't you just finish with me then?" Miranda screamed.
"Will you two calm down?" Edward said, coming into the kitchen.
Daniella glared at him. "You take that one." she said, pointing at Miranda. "I don't want it anymore." She turned and left the room.
Miranda didn't react visibly to her words, but inside, her heart was breaking.
Monday came around, and Miranda dragged herself out of bed and to school. She walked down the hallway to her locker, where Lizzie and Gordo were standing, Lizzie chattering animatedly about her date.
"Miranda! Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry I didn't call you, but..."
"Lizzie, I'm not in the mood right now." Miranda said flatly.
"But..."
"I SAID I'M NOT IN THE MOOD!" Miranda yelled.
Lizzie gave her a hurt look. "Fine. Just...whatever." she looked at Gordo. "I'm gonna go talk to Ethan, bye Gordo."
"Bye." Gordo said as she walked away. He turned to Miranda. "Are you okay?"
"I don't wanna talk to you right now." Miranda said softly, walking away, leaving Gordo standing in the middle of the hallway staring after her, bewildered.
That stung. She didn't want to talk to him? He sighed and leaned up against the lockers. Perfect. Just perfect.
At lunch, Miranda was nowhere to be found, and Lizzie was off cavorting with Ethan and his people, leaving Gordo by himself. Sighing, he went to search for Miranda.
***
Miranda wiped her eyes as she overlooked the school grounds down below her. She was sitting on the roof, just thinking.
"What are you doing up here?" a voice asked. Miranda turned her head sharply.
"Gordo, just go away. I'm not in the mood right now."
"Not in the mood to what?" Gordo asked as he sat down next to her.
"Talk." Miranda said.
Gordo draped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her to him. She sighed and laid her head down on his shoulder. "So we won't talk."
"Thank you." Miranda whispered.
"When you're ready I'll be here though."