Chapter 5
Colors. Why are there so many colors? And in these colors the lost faces of wandering souls, blurred into the blues, greens and reds. They float through me, and even if I wanted to decipher their features, things are too confusing for me to focus.
Places. Many I have been to, and many I have never seen before. Visions of them flash in nano seconds, dancing in my mind. This place... Wherever I am, it is too much for my senses. Not only the sights, but also the sounds.
I can hear cries. I can hear laughter. Screams, whispers, and moans. While pressing my palms against my ears as hard as possible, somewhere amongst the intolerable noise I am positive I hear her.
Glancing down confused, I notice that not only have I become stark nude, but the ground I am positioned on is indeed, nothing. If so, it is invisible. Swaying my arms in front of me, I feel for something... Anything. There is only air. Fog. Slowly stepping forward, not sure where I am heading, I rub my palms on my cold arms.
Freezing. It is too cold.
Stop this! Make it all vanish! I didn't want this... I only wanted Utena. She's all I want. She's all I ever wanted. I can only ask myself, is it possible to find her here? Did I get lost, somewhere in the other world past death? I now know, I will spend eternity in this damned place if I must.
And it seems like an eternity.. This invisible path I have journeyed on. Thinking only thoughts of my betrothed, this span of time. Is this the environment Utena readily surrendered herself to? To think, she has spent so long here... It brings tears to my eyes.
Forward. Onward continuity. I never become famished. I don't tire. I only think of her. My betrothed... Why did I put you through this torment?
How long have I been searching? I can't tell. I don't want to bother trying. Squinting my eyes, I see something floating. Moving closer, I see it. Rectangular. Dark. Floating a top of nothing, as am I.
No, it can't be...
A coffin. No, not again. I thought these days were over. As much as I want to pretend I don't want to touch it, I come closer until it is within my touch. The coffin is cold to the touch. It is sealed shut, and decorated on it is the Rose seal.
A curiosity peaks inside of me. Somehow, I know she is inside. The woman I have been waiting so long for. Utena. I never meant for this to happen. But if I awaken you now, would that set things rights?
Prying the coffin with my weary fingers, I desperately try to open it with a renewed certainty. But the opening will not budge. You're in there, aren't you... My love?
"Utena!? Answer me!" I scream, pounding on the coffin. There is no answer, save the same jumbled noises that I had learned to block out. How do I know she's in there? I don't, really... I just wish her around every corner, behind every smile and every sound.
My tears break down, staining trails down the stained wood coffin. My sobs ruined the silence, until I felt a force of energy shoot me back. Landing on my rear, I moaned with pain, but immediately looked up to the coffin. It shot open.
"What...?"
Colors. Why are there so many colors? And in these colors the lost faces of wandering souls, blurred into the blues, greens and reds. They float through me, and even if I wanted to decipher their features, things are too confusing for me to focus.
Places. Many I have been to, and many I have never seen before. Visions of them flash in nano seconds, dancing in my mind. This place... Wherever I am, it is too much for my senses. Not only the sights, but also the sounds.
I can hear cries. I can hear laughter. Screams, whispers, and moans. While pressing my palms against my ears as hard as possible, somewhere amongst the intolerable noise I am positive I hear her.
Glancing down confused, I notice that not only have I become stark nude, but the ground I am positioned on is indeed, nothing. If so, it is invisible. Swaying my arms in front of me, I feel for something... Anything. There is only air. Fog. Slowly stepping forward, not sure where I am heading, I rub my palms on my cold arms.
Freezing. It is too cold.
Stop this! Make it all vanish! I didn't want this... I only wanted Utena. She's all I want. She's all I ever wanted. I can only ask myself, is it possible to find her here? Did I get lost, somewhere in the other world past death? I now know, I will spend eternity in this damned place if I must.
And it seems like an eternity.. This invisible path I have journeyed on. Thinking only thoughts of my betrothed, this span of time. Is this the environment Utena readily surrendered herself to? To think, she has spent so long here... It brings tears to my eyes.
Forward. Onward continuity. I never become famished. I don't tire. I only think of her. My betrothed... Why did I put you through this torment?
How long have I been searching? I can't tell. I don't want to bother trying. Squinting my eyes, I see something floating. Moving closer, I see it. Rectangular. Dark. Floating a top of nothing, as am I.
No, it can't be...
A coffin. No, not again. I thought these days were over. As much as I want to pretend I don't want to touch it, I come closer until it is within my touch. The coffin is cold to the touch. It is sealed shut, and decorated on it is the Rose seal.
A curiosity peaks inside of me. Somehow, I know she is inside. The woman I have been waiting so long for. Utena. I never meant for this to happen. But if I awaken you now, would that set things rights?
Prying the coffin with my weary fingers, I desperately try to open it with a renewed certainty. But the opening will not budge. You're in there, aren't you... My love?
"Utena!? Answer me!" I scream, pounding on the coffin. There is no answer, save the same jumbled noises that I had learned to block out. How do I know she's in there? I don't, really... I just wish her around every corner, behind every smile and every sound.
My tears break down, staining trails down the stained wood coffin. My sobs ruined the silence, until I felt a force of energy shoot me back. Landing on my rear, I moaned with pain, but immediately looked up to the coffin. It shot open.
"What...?"