SALVATION
Chapter 5 ("Retrospect")
By Slayne
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"My heart is drenched in wine,
You'll be on my mind...
Forever... "
-- Don't Know Why -- Norah Jones
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"You remember the day Hawk lowered the flag on base and Joe?" Wayne asked, looking out the living room window and over the forest as the rain pelted down. There'd been an initial silence, after they'd gotten back inside, as Courtney had brooded, and then they had finally begun talking again. He'd offered her his bed, which she'd refused and he hadn't insisted. He'd gotten her a few blankets and thrown them on the sofa next to her, and she'd settled down quite comfortably as they talked.
"Yeah..." Courtney felt that same dark weight press down on her that she felt that day long ago, a remnant that would never truly leave her. Cobra had been driven so far down that Joe wasn't needed anymore, they should have been happy. Instead, the somber mood had been almost unbearable. They'd all joked with each other, exchanged numbers and promises to keep in touch. Enemies had made up and everyone was friends, wanting to leave the team in good standing. She had avoided Beach Head that day. She hadn't planned on doing that. It just turned out that everytime she came face to face with him during the closing, she just hadn't been able to make herself stand there and talk to him. She'd just been consumed with this overwhelming desire to get away from him.
As the day had grown longer though, and other Joes began catching their planes out or driving away for the last time, she'd somehow found herself with him alone in the empty motor pool. They'd talked about where they were each going. He was going back to Fort Benning, she was taking some leave time and going home for a while to think about things. The awkward silences and long stares had only made her more desperate to not lose touch with him. They'd been through a lot together, and no matter how hard they fought, they had been a united front when it really counted. And then there was all that... other stuff. For some reason, she still hadn't been able to admit to herself that she was attracted to him that day. In fact, it had seemed of the utmost importance that she NOT face that fact. Perhaps because they were seperating, and she had already had some inkling that the Army was not in her future without G.I. Joe... and he'd never be happy without the military. If there was ever a man born to be a soldier, well, Beach was him. But to never see him again? Hell no.
She'd handed him a card with the number of an answering service she used. It was useful for someone who often had to disappear for days or weeks at a time with no notice. It guaranteed that she'd get all messages meant for her. It had also had her parent's home number written on it, just in case. He'd tucked it in his shirt pocket with a muttered 'thanks' and then pulled out a small, folded piece of scratch paper with his own number printed carefully on it. He'd obviously been intending to give it to someone. She'd taken it, and their eyes had met, and the fire betweem them had been incredible. She'd attempted to diffuse it with a wise-ass comment.
"Well, you're finally getting rid of that big pain in your ass... what'll you do without me?"
"Live without the fear of imminent court-martial over my head from all the stupid stunts you pulled me into."
She'd laughed. She'd had to. She could already feel the tears threatening, and she didn't want to cry in front of him. They weren't necessarily tears for him, although he'd been a part of it. They were tears for an entire phase of her life that was over now, and not through her own choice.
"Besides, " He'd continued, somewhat hesitantly. "If you're stationed stateside, well... we both have leave saved up, maybe... you'll find someway to annoy me."
She'd smiled and blinked rapidly to keep those damn tears at bay. "Yeah... maybe. You ever think of just doing your 20 and getting out, Wayne?"
He'd stared at her for a long time after that question. When he had finally answered, her breath had caught in her throat before she realized she'd been holding it.
"No. I'm in for life. With any luck I'll die a fucking glorious death and never be retired."
There hadn't seemed to be much to say after that. She'd embraced him with an awkward hug that turned almost clingy at the end, and they had pulled back reluctantly. The growing sound of helicopter rotors in the distance signaled his ride out of there, and he had broken their gaze and turned to walk out. She'd called his name right before he went out the door, and he had turned to look at her.
"You can't fight forever, Beach." She'd said seriously. He'd given her that famous glare and the corner of his mouth had tugged upwards in such a familiar gesture that she'd smiled a bit. The four words he answered were in a strong southern accent with power behind them.
"The hell ah can't."
That had been it. He'd walked out and got on his helicopter. She'd followed several hours later, taking a civilian flight to Chicago. Despite the exchange of numbers, they hadn't spoken since that day. She'd heard his voice twice since then. Once on tv, as some reporter had asked him how he had felt burying 7 of his fellow Rangers, although his answer had had so many word-covering bleeps in it that it was difficult to actually hear anything he said. The second time had been on her voice mail through the answering service. He hadn't actually said a whole lot really, and there had been a lot of long pauses where she could almost feel the tension in him.
"Hey Courtney... this is Wayne, ahh... just uh, thought you might be in and ahh... thought I'd give you a call. It's been a while. I guess you know what's been happening with me, it's all over the news today...shit, I really fucked up, Courtney." There was a long pause there where she could hear him breathing and then he swore softly and said "Call me back." And then came the click as he hung up.
She hadn't called him back. She'd been in Europe when it was all happening, and she hadn't gotten the message until the following week when she got home. She'd pressed the code to repeat that message nearly 15 times before she'd finally hung up and sat quietly in a chair next to the phone in her Chicago apartment. Her first instinct, of course, had been to pick up the phone and call him immediately, but her hand wouldn't move. She'd gotten up and walked to her bedroom, pulled out the old brown flight jacket and unzipped the inside lining pocket, pulling the folded piece of paper out of it. She'd stared at the number for a long time, her heart in her throat and her gut feeling as if were filled with lead. Then her pager had gone off, and she'd simply tucked the paper back in the pocket and walked away. She'd justified it to herself by saying it was too late anyway. It had been over a week since the original call. He'd doubtlessly gone back to his duties and was over it by now. Could she have been more of an idiot in denial? No. She'd pretty much always been good at that.
It was at Flint and Lady Jaye's wedding that she'd found out the truth. She'd been expecting to see him at the wedding, had been looking forward to it even more than seeing Allie or Shana or any of the other Joes, if she were to be honest with herself. When he hadn't appeared by the time the dancing started, she'd finally asked Leatherneck where he was. Wendell had stared at her in surprise for a moment and then he'd disappeared. Duke had appeared a few minutes later and given it to her straight. Beach Head had asked for a general discharge when his term was up last, and he'd moved back to Alabama. A few of the guys had tracked him down living up in the hills alone.
Simple living, no companionship, giving up the job he loved... if the Army wouldn't punish him, he'd just do it himself. She'd been shocked to hear all this. As the wedding band had played and the former Joes had danced, everyone else in the big hall had ceased to exist. She'd stared ahead in stunned silence, the music the only thing she heard. She'd finally left early and taken a taxi to the airport. As the cab radio had played a litany of eighties songs and "Under the Milky Way" by The Church had seared through her mind, she'd not been able to think about anything else. She'd almost traded in her return ticket for Chicago and bought one for Birmingham instead. A loud crack of thunder brought her out of the past and into the present again.
"Wayne?" She said suddenly, glancing up at him as he stood at the window.
"Yeah."
"You're right... I don't understand what happened to you. I wish you'd tell me, but if you can't..."
He glanced back at her in the dimness of the room. "I just... don't see the point."
"All I know is what Flint told me... and what I saw on TV... and the press was pretty idiotic about it all."
"Yeah... they wouldn't take 'no comment' for an answer." He looked grim as the lightning flashed and lit up the room. The storm had intensified and beat furiously at the forest outside.
"They wouldn't leave you alone?"
"Not at first. The brass wanted me to do all the talk shows. I was supposed to be a 'good sport' about it all."
Courtney frowned at that. She was used to attention, had learned how to handle it... but Beach never had been good at that. And she was sure there was so much more that had gone on then was revealed in the press. He'd been dealing with something heavy during that time... was still dealing with it. He glanced at her with a small smile on his face.
"But it all stopped... abruptly. I mean, from one day to the next it simply ceased. Like... "
She raised a brow. "Like... a Tomahawk suddenly came down on their heads?"
His smile broadened. "Exactly like that."
She grinned. "God... I love that man!"
He said nothing, but she saw the agreement on his face. He stared out the window a bit longer, and then turned to look at her. "Get some sleep, Cinderella... you'll need those looks if you change your mind about those princes." He turned out the light and started towards his bedroom door.
"Wayne." She stopped him just before he went through the door. "I dropped the ball with you... I'm sorry."
He looked at her a long, silent moment, and then replied softly. "No. If anyone dropped the ball... it was me."
She was about to argue with him, but he walked into the bedroom and closed the door behind him, leaving her in the darkness alone. She sat for a while, then got up, changed into a pair of shorts and a T-shirt and climbed under the blankets of the sofa. She tried not to think about him laying in his bed on the other side of one thin wall. The rain lulled her to sleep.
To be continued.........
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Chapter 5 ("Retrospect")
By Slayne
^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"My heart is drenched in wine,
You'll be on my mind...
Forever... "
-- Don't Know Why -- Norah Jones
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"You remember the day Hawk lowered the flag on base and Joe?" Wayne asked, looking out the living room window and over the forest as the rain pelted down. There'd been an initial silence, after they'd gotten back inside, as Courtney had brooded, and then they had finally begun talking again. He'd offered her his bed, which she'd refused and he hadn't insisted. He'd gotten her a few blankets and thrown them on the sofa next to her, and she'd settled down quite comfortably as they talked.
"Yeah..." Courtney felt that same dark weight press down on her that she felt that day long ago, a remnant that would never truly leave her. Cobra had been driven so far down that Joe wasn't needed anymore, they should have been happy. Instead, the somber mood had been almost unbearable. They'd all joked with each other, exchanged numbers and promises to keep in touch. Enemies had made up and everyone was friends, wanting to leave the team in good standing. She had avoided Beach Head that day. She hadn't planned on doing that. It just turned out that everytime she came face to face with him during the closing, she just hadn't been able to make herself stand there and talk to him. She'd just been consumed with this overwhelming desire to get away from him.
As the day had grown longer though, and other Joes began catching their planes out or driving away for the last time, she'd somehow found herself with him alone in the empty motor pool. They'd talked about where they were each going. He was going back to Fort Benning, she was taking some leave time and going home for a while to think about things. The awkward silences and long stares had only made her more desperate to not lose touch with him. They'd been through a lot together, and no matter how hard they fought, they had been a united front when it really counted. And then there was all that... other stuff. For some reason, she still hadn't been able to admit to herself that she was attracted to him that day. In fact, it had seemed of the utmost importance that she NOT face that fact. Perhaps because they were seperating, and she had already had some inkling that the Army was not in her future without G.I. Joe... and he'd never be happy without the military. If there was ever a man born to be a soldier, well, Beach was him. But to never see him again? Hell no.
She'd handed him a card with the number of an answering service she used. It was useful for someone who often had to disappear for days or weeks at a time with no notice. It guaranteed that she'd get all messages meant for her. It had also had her parent's home number written on it, just in case. He'd tucked it in his shirt pocket with a muttered 'thanks' and then pulled out a small, folded piece of scratch paper with his own number printed carefully on it. He'd obviously been intending to give it to someone. She'd taken it, and their eyes had met, and the fire betweem them had been incredible. She'd attempted to diffuse it with a wise-ass comment.
"Well, you're finally getting rid of that big pain in your ass... what'll you do without me?"
"Live without the fear of imminent court-martial over my head from all the stupid stunts you pulled me into."
She'd laughed. She'd had to. She could already feel the tears threatening, and she didn't want to cry in front of him. They weren't necessarily tears for him, although he'd been a part of it. They were tears for an entire phase of her life that was over now, and not through her own choice.
"Besides, " He'd continued, somewhat hesitantly. "If you're stationed stateside, well... we both have leave saved up, maybe... you'll find someway to annoy me."
She'd smiled and blinked rapidly to keep those damn tears at bay. "Yeah... maybe. You ever think of just doing your 20 and getting out, Wayne?"
He'd stared at her for a long time after that question. When he had finally answered, her breath had caught in her throat before she realized she'd been holding it.
"No. I'm in for life. With any luck I'll die a fucking glorious death and never be retired."
There hadn't seemed to be much to say after that. She'd embraced him with an awkward hug that turned almost clingy at the end, and they had pulled back reluctantly. The growing sound of helicopter rotors in the distance signaled his ride out of there, and he had broken their gaze and turned to walk out. She'd called his name right before he went out the door, and he had turned to look at her.
"You can't fight forever, Beach." She'd said seriously. He'd given her that famous glare and the corner of his mouth had tugged upwards in such a familiar gesture that she'd smiled a bit. The four words he answered were in a strong southern accent with power behind them.
"The hell ah can't."
That had been it. He'd walked out and got on his helicopter. She'd followed several hours later, taking a civilian flight to Chicago. Despite the exchange of numbers, they hadn't spoken since that day. She'd heard his voice twice since then. Once on tv, as some reporter had asked him how he had felt burying 7 of his fellow Rangers, although his answer had had so many word-covering bleeps in it that it was difficult to actually hear anything he said. The second time had been on her voice mail through the answering service. He hadn't actually said a whole lot really, and there had been a lot of long pauses where she could almost feel the tension in him.
"Hey Courtney... this is Wayne, ahh... just uh, thought you might be in and ahh... thought I'd give you a call. It's been a while. I guess you know what's been happening with me, it's all over the news today...shit, I really fucked up, Courtney." There was a long pause there where she could hear him breathing and then he swore softly and said "Call me back." And then came the click as he hung up.
She hadn't called him back. She'd been in Europe when it was all happening, and she hadn't gotten the message until the following week when she got home. She'd pressed the code to repeat that message nearly 15 times before she'd finally hung up and sat quietly in a chair next to the phone in her Chicago apartment. Her first instinct, of course, had been to pick up the phone and call him immediately, but her hand wouldn't move. She'd gotten up and walked to her bedroom, pulled out the old brown flight jacket and unzipped the inside lining pocket, pulling the folded piece of paper out of it. She'd stared at the number for a long time, her heart in her throat and her gut feeling as if were filled with lead. Then her pager had gone off, and she'd simply tucked the paper back in the pocket and walked away. She'd justified it to herself by saying it was too late anyway. It had been over a week since the original call. He'd doubtlessly gone back to his duties and was over it by now. Could she have been more of an idiot in denial? No. She'd pretty much always been good at that.
It was at Flint and Lady Jaye's wedding that she'd found out the truth. She'd been expecting to see him at the wedding, had been looking forward to it even more than seeing Allie or Shana or any of the other Joes, if she were to be honest with herself. When he hadn't appeared by the time the dancing started, she'd finally asked Leatherneck where he was. Wendell had stared at her in surprise for a moment and then he'd disappeared. Duke had appeared a few minutes later and given it to her straight. Beach Head had asked for a general discharge when his term was up last, and he'd moved back to Alabama. A few of the guys had tracked him down living up in the hills alone.
Simple living, no companionship, giving up the job he loved... if the Army wouldn't punish him, he'd just do it himself. She'd been shocked to hear all this. As the wedding band had played and the former Joes had danced, everyone else in the big hall had ceased to exist. She'd stared ahead in stunned silence, the music the only thing she heard. She'd finally left early and taken a taxi to the airport. As the cab radio had played a litany of eighties songs and "Under the Milky Way" by The Church had seared through her mind, she'd not been able to think about anything else. She'd almost traded in her return ticket for Chicago and bought one for Birmingham instead. A loud crack of thunder brought her out of the past and into the present again.
"Wayne?" She said suddenly, glancing up at him as he stood at the window.
"Yeah."
"You're right... I don't understand what happened to you. I wish you'd tell me, but if you can't..."
He glanced back at her in the dimness of the room. "I just... don't see the point."
"All I know is what Flint told me... and what I saw on TV... and the press was pretty idiotic about it all."
"Yeah... they wouldn't take 'no comment' for an answer." He looked grim as the lightning flashed and lit up the room. The storm had intensified and beat furiously at the forest outside.
"They wouldn't leave you alone?"
"Not at first. The brass wanted me to do all the talk shows. I was supposed to be a 'good sport' about it all."
Courtney frowned at that. She was used to attention, had learned how to handle it... but Beach never had been good at that. And she was sure there was so much more that had gone on then was revealed in the press. He'd been dealing with something heavy during that time... was still dealing with it. He glanced at her with a small smile on his face.
"But it all stopped... abruptly. I mean, from one day to the next it simply ceased. Like... "
She raised a brow. "Like... a Tomahawk suddenly came down on their heads?"
His smile broadened. "Exactly like that."
She grinned. "God... I love that man!"
He said nothing, but she saw the agreement on his face. He stared out the window a bit longer, and then turned to look at her. "Get some sleep, Cinderella... you'll need those looks if you change your mind about those princes." He turned out the light and started towards his bedroom door.
"Wayne." She stopped him just before he went through the door. "I dropped the ball with you... I'm sorry."
He looked at her a long, silent moment, and then replied softly. "No. If anyone dropped the ball... it was me."
She was about to argue with him, but he walked into the bedroom and closed the door behind him, leaving her in the darkness alone. She sat for a while, then got up, changed into a pair of shorts and a T-shirt and climbed under the blankets of the sofa. She tried not to think about him laying in his bed on the other side of one thin wall. The rain lulled her to sleep.
To be continued.........
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