Chapter Five: Morning Has Broken

The next morning dawned bright and early in the Summers home. Dawn couldn't wait to wake everyone and tell them that Buffy was okay.

Willow was still living with them, of course, but Giles was staying with Xander. Dawn had called there first thing and woken a very grumpy Giles from his sleep. She had begged him and Xander to come over and join them for breakfast, but Xander had said he couldn't make it. After all, he was the only one among them who had a real job.

When Giles finally arrived, Willow made everyone sit down in the dinning room for a full chocolate-chip-pancake-and-bacon-and-eggs breakfast.

"And you're sure you're feeling all right?" Giles asked, as he stirred the cup of tea Willow had brought him. He was watching Buffy curiously, like a concerned parent.

"Yeah, I feel fine," she answered, heaping her plate with two stacks of pancakes. "I can't believe I was out for an entire week. I certainly feel like I haven't eaten in a week."

"Giles was really worried," Willow said, as she finished serving and joined them at the table. "We all were."

"I know. But I'm fine now."

They all looked at her suspiciously.

"Really!"

Giles cleared his throat and everyone went back to eating.

"So what exactly was it that freed you from your catatonic state?" he asked. "Dawn said you were having a nightmare. Do you remember what it was about?"

Buffy could feel the blood freeze in her veins. She didn't want to think about the nightmare. The vision. Whatever it was. She didn't want to think about Spike. Didn't want to break down in front of her friends.

She picked up a bottle of syrup and lifted it high above her plate. Focusing intently on the liquid trickling from the bottle she said, "It was about the battle. Just reliving scenes from it. That's all."

"Scenes?" Giles asked. "What kind of scenes?"

"Oh, you know. Death, screaming, horror and bloodshed. Same old, same old." She put the syrup down and cut into her pancakes with the side of her fork.

Giles leaned forward, concern evident in his very distinguished face. "Buffy. Was there anything else? Anything out of the ordinary? That battle has been haunting you ever since it happened. I can't believe that all of a sudden, the memory would just snap you out of your catatonia."

"Well it did." She turned to look at him. "Look Giles, I know it doesn't make much sense. But I relived the battle last night. And then . . . and then I saw . . ." Buffy couldn't finish. Her eyes dropped to the table, and she found herself unable to speak.

"Spike," Dawn provided.

Buffy hadn't told Dawn about the dream, but they all knew. It didn't take a genius to figure it out.

"I see," Giles said. He turned back toward his breakfast and they proceeded to eat in silence.

A few minutes later, the phone rang.

"I'll get it," Dawn said, jumping out of her chair and dashing to the kitchen. She picked up the phone on the second ring. "Hello? Summers residence."

"Hey Dawn? It's Angel."

"Angel? Hi how are you? You'll never believe what's happened!"

"Spike came back from the dead?" he asked, tentatively.

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing. I just called to see if there was any change in Buffy's condition. Is she all right?"

"Yeah. She's more than all right. She's alive and awake, and in the dinning room stuffing her face with a mound of pancakes."

"Well, sounds like Buffy. Can I talk to her?" he asked, his voice a little weary.

"Oh yeah, sure. Hold on a sec."

Dawn brought the cordless phone into the dinning room and handed it to Buffy. "Here. It's for you."

Buffy stared at the phone curiously before bringing it to her ear. Who even knew that she was out of her catatonic state? "Hello?" she asked with slight trepidation.

"Buffy? It's me, Angel."

"Angel!"

Giles and Willow both stopped eating and stared at Buffy.

"I just called to see if everything was all right. If you were okay."

"Me? Yeah, I'm fine now. Really. I just came out of it last night. Everything's fine. I've got Giles here, and Willow. And we're all fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Sure I'm sure."

"Because you just said you were fine like three times. Buffy, is there something I can do?"

"What? No," she started pulling at her napkin with her free hand. "There's nothing to be done here. I think we all just need some time to get past what's happened that's all. So," she rattled on, before he could contradict her, "how are Cordelia, and Wes and the whole gang?"

"Fine. Just fine."

"Good," she said cheerily. "Then everybody's fine and everything's okay. I'm really glad you called Angel. And I'm really glad you're safe. If you need anything, just let us know. Okay?"

"Uh, yeah. Sure Buffy. Whatever you say."

"So, that's it then right?"

"Um. Well. No actually."

"There's something else?"

"Buffy," he began, but he didn't finish. He sighed into the phone. "Never mind. It's not really important. Look, if anything strange happens in the next couple of days, promise me you'll call me. I've heard there might be something going down in Sunnydale. Nothing to get alarmed about, mind you. But there may be some unusual activity within the next couple of days. Promise me you'll call."

"I promise."

"Okay good." He hesitated. "So, I guess that's it then."

"I guess so."

"Bye Buffy."

"Bye Angel." She hit the "end" button on the phone and placed it down on the table.

"And just what was that about?" Giles questioned, in his best fatherly voice.

"Angel just wanted to know if I was okay," she said absently. "Everything's fine. Nothing to worry about. Really."

* * *

Later that day, Buffy was roaming around the house, trying to take her mind off the chaos in her head. She didn't want to think about anything - about Spike, or Faith, or anyone else that they had lost. She just wanted to be numb.

Upstairs, Buffy noticed that the door to Willow's room was half-open. Peeking inside, she saw Willow sitting on the edge of the bed, staring listlessly at a framed picture in her hands.

Buffy knocked quietly and pushed the door open a little more. "Can I come it?" she asked tentatively.

Willow looked up, startled. "Oh sure, sure." She put the picture facedown on the bed beside her.

Buffy entered the room and closed the door. She sat down next to Willow on the corner of the mattress. Buffy knew Willow had been through a lot, losing Kennedy. She just didn't know how to offer her condolences. "How are you?"

"Me? I'm fine. Still here," she said looking down at herself and then back up at Buffy. "Yup, that's definitely me."

"Will, I just want you to know how sorry I am that . . ."

"It's okay Buff. I'm dealing. I just think I'm going to stay very, very far away from romantic entanglements for a while. Like maybe till the end of time?"

"I know what you mean," Buffy said somberly, looking down at her hands, clasped in her lap.

"Buffy, I'm so sorry."

"No." She looked up at Willow. "It's okay. Really. I just have to learn to deal, that's all. It's gonna take some time. A lot of time. I . . ." Buffy gave up. Somehow it was a lot easier to put up a front for Giles than it was to do it for Willow. She knew she was starting to break down. "I will just . . . have to get past it. That's all."

"Easier said than done."

"I know." Buffy felt her chest tightening, the tears threatening to come once again. She inhaled a sharp breath and determined not to cry. She looked at Willow. "That's Tara isn't it?"

Willow picked up the picture and looked at it again. "Yeah. I can't stop thinking about her. Can't stop feeling guilty."

"You shouldn't feel guilty Will. Tara wouldn't have wanted that."

"I know. But it doesn't make it any easier. I miss her. And with Kennedy gone, I just . . . I don't know. Maybe it's me. Maybe I just shouldn't get close to anyone, because every time I do . . ." her voice broke with a sob, and Buffy moved closer, wrapping her arms around her best friend.

"That's not it Will," Buffy said, trying to comfort her. "It's not you. It's just the way life works. Every Spring the Apocalypse comes, and every year we lose someone else. Sometimes more than one someone. It's life on the Hellmouth."

"The Hellmouth's gone," Willow said, pulling away a little.

"Then maybe it'll be over. Maybe that'll be an end to it. Maybe we won't lose anyone else."

"You don't really believe that."

"Well, no. Not really. But hey? It sounded good." Buffy sighed lightly. "Will, is there anything I can do?"

"What?" Willow looked at her in surprise. "No. No. Nothing at all. You just concentrate on getting better. That's all that matters. The rest will take care of itself, I guess."

"You're sure?"

"Yes Buffy. It's all right. I'll be okay."

Willow patted Buffy's hand gently.

They continued to sit there in silence, both lost in their own grief.