Chapter Six: Stupid Is As Stupid Does

Disclaimer: Are these disclaimers really necessary? We all know that I'm poor and Tamora Pierce is not. So let's just not dwell on that thought.

Oops? Oops?! What the hell was I thinking!? Kissing Joren and then saying 'Oops' like some idiot… I stormed down Main Street, Joren following closely by. He'd been following me for the last three blocks, and I kept praying that every car that went by would hit him. Why'd he have to go and do something like that?

It was partly your fault, Kel, a tiny voice in my head whispered.

"No, it wasn't!" I screamed. A woman pulled her child away from me, and Joren came running closer.

"Are you okay?" he asked, feeling all over my body with his hands. I slapped at his hands and stepped back.

"What are you, a rabbit? Get off of me!" I turned on my heel and started off down the road again.

"Keladry! Wait!" I could hear Joren apologizing to people as he trailed after me, trying to catch up. I just started walking faster.

"Leave me alone!" I yelled back at him.

"But what about what just happened? In the library?"

I stopped and turned around. He stumbled and nearly fell into me. "That meant nothing. Do you hear me? Nothing!"

He looked incredibly hurt. Good, I thought. The worse he feels, the better.

"You – you didn't feel anything?"

I sighed in frustration. "No! How many times do I have to tell you? I'm engaged to Cleon! Cleon. You remember him, your best friend?"

Joren frowned. "Well, yeah, I knew that, but – "

"But what? You thought you'd have a little fling with his fiancée before the wedding? Is that it? You – you – you whore!"

Joren stared at me, then burst out laughing. I glared at him and turned away from him once more, trying to push my way past the mob of people who decided to suddenly congest the sidewalk.

"Get the hell out of my way!" I screamed. A few people looked startled and scampered to the side, but the rest of them pretended to be stupid and deaf. "Damn Yank-wannabes," I muttered and shoved my way past them.

I finally managed to get back to my house, and nearly collapsed with exhaustion on the front lawn. Why didn't I take the bus? I thought angrily to myself. Oh, right. I didn't think of it because I'm a stupid moron.

While I was berating myself for being so incredibly stupid, both about the bus and about that little incident in the library, I didn't notice the front door of my house open and my mother step out. When I did notice, it was too late.

"Keladry Rose Mindelan!" She came storming across the lawn and grabbed me by the ear, something she hasn't done in ten years. "You are in big trouble, young lady!"

"Ow! Let go of my ear!" No matter what I did, no matter how I moved, it just made it worse. "You're hurting me!"

She dragged me inside and pushed me into the living room. I expected to be greeted by a very angry Cleon, but the room was empty. I spun around to face my mother, who was red in the face with anger.

"I very, very disappointed in you," she said, wagging her finger at me.

Oh my God, how did she find out about – about – gargh!

"What's the big deal? It was just a kiss!" I stomped over to the couch and threw myself down. "It's not like me and Joren made out in the library or anything."

That's when I realized my big mistake. "What – are you talking about?" she said slowly.

I opened my mouth to respond, and nothing came out. Shit, I thought. Great going, Kel. Now you've really screwed everything up. This isn't even about what happened in the library!

She took a few slow steps toward me and the stopped. "You – you kissed Joren? That – that boy – "

I let out a breath of frustration. "Yes, mother. I kissed that boy. And I feel like shit, okay? I feel like hitting myself over the head with a really hard hammer. You should have seen Cleon's face when he – "

She grabbed my arm, her face void of all color. "Cleon saw it?" she whispered in horror.

"Well, yeah. That's why I feel like killing myself."

She pulled me toward the door. "You go right next door and tell him you're sorry."

"Mom, I tried that. He won't listen to me." I tried to get back inside, but she blocked the doorway.

"Go!" she yelled and pointed at the Kennan's house.

"Okay, okay," I muttered, then stopped. "Hey, if you didn't know about the kiss, what were you so angry about to begin with?" I asked her, and almost laughed when her face went blank.

"I – uh – I'll talk to you about it later," she said, obviously trying to remember what she was so upset about.

"Uh huh," I said. "Well, then. I should go and…talk – to Clean." Mom just nodded, and I ran across the lawn to Cleon's house, and prayed that he wouldn't open the door.

Unfortunately, the fates were not in my favor.

"Uh, hey…Cleon," I said awkwardly when he stood in the doorway, glaring at me with such loathing, such hatred, I could almost feel flames licking up my face. "I, uh, just wanted to say that, well, you see, I'm really very sorry about what happened and it's all really Joren's fault – well, because he was the one who kissed me, I was just reacting the way any living, breathing female would act around someone who looks like that and – " I paused for breath.

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Are you finished?"

I shook my head. "Almost. What I'm trying to say is, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to happen. And I'm sorry you had to see it."

Still he didn't say anything, so I pressed further. "And I just wanted to say – that you can keep your car," I glanced behind me at that wonderful piece of machinery sitting on the road, "but despite that, I will agree to continue with this little game of pretend." I waited for the slap of words that usually accompanied everything I said to him, but he just pursed his lips in thought. "And I'm sorry," I said again.

Finally, he sighed and opened the door wide enough for me to walk inside. "You're forgiven."

I didn't move. "Excuse me?"

"I said I forgive you." He took my arm and directed me into the kitchen.

"You – you forgive me?" I shook my head to clear the fog that seemed to have settled over my brain, blocking any clear thoughts. "I thought you hated me."

He smiled. "Well, I did."

And that's when I swear I heard the sound of my heart breaking.

No, that's just your stomach growling, I told myself furiously. You do not love Cleon. Repeat after me: I DO NOT LOVE CLEON.

Don't be silly, a tiny voice replied. She's never going to listen to you.

Cleon seemed to be watching this internal war of mine with great amusement. "You know," he said, breaking my concentration. "I only hated you for about three seconds."

Ha, that little voice laughed. See?

What does that have to do with the other thing? The other voice exclaimed. You're just crazy.

No, I'm crazy. I'm hearing voices in my head.

I cleared my throat. "You did?"

He nodded. "I knew you'd come over here apologizing and begging me to take you back– " At that, I smacked his arm, but he pretended to ignore me and just finished his explanation. "So I just told myself that I loved you too much to let you go like this." He grinned at me.

Uh huh, said the tiny voice when my heart gave a little leap of joy. Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh.

Shut up! That was…indigestion!

Sure, sure. Whatever you say. There was a pause. Keladry loves Cleon, Keladry loves Cleon…

"Are you okay?" Cleon asked, peering at me with concern in his eyes.

"I'm fine," I replied, not really knowing how to deal with the situation. "Um…so, you're not angry with me any more?"

He smiled. "Nope."

I frowned. "Okay."

We stood in silence for a few seconds, and then Cleon spoke again. "Just one question. Why did you kiss Joren?"

Great, I thought. Here we go.