Chapter Seven: Parents From Outer Space

Disclaimer: I had a dream the other night that in the middle of Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, Orlando Bloom (Legolas) started to strip to the song 'Footloose.' It was quite enjoyable. ^_^

"Okay," I said. "Do any of your other friends look like him?"

Cleon laughed. "No. I can assure you they do not."

I gave a weak smile. "Good."

He waited, and I just stood staring at the floor. "Well?" he asked with a superior grin on his face. "Why'd you do it, Kel? Why'd you kiss him?"

I bit my lip and closed my eyes. I wanted to see you squirm. I wanted to see you hiss and snap your teeth at me. "I wanted to hurt you," I blurted out and opened my eyes to see Cleon giving me a funny look. "I was angry at you."

"You were angry at me?" he asked. "Why?"

Because of the way you make me laugh, the way you can look at me and make me tell you the truth…because of how you make me love you so much it hurts.

"Because of how mad you make me."

Cleon frowned. "So…you kissed Joren because you were mad at me for making you mad…"

Listening to him say it made it sound incredibly stupid, but I nodded anyway. Okay, so I nodded sheepishly, my face burning with embarrassment, and glared at him defiantly.

He stared at me for a few seconds, and I thought he was going to hit me, but then he threw back his head and laughed. Laughed! The pig can laugh.

"Why are you laughing? It's not funny!" He grabbed my arm for support but I pulled it away and he fell to the floor, clutching his belly.

"Ho! Ho ho!" he managed through the laughter.

"What, are you Santa Clause now? Get up! And stop laughing!" I crossed my arms and pouted.

Cleon finally controlled his hysteria, but didn't get up from the floor. "What's wrong with you today?"

I glared at him. "Hello…I just, like, totally screwed everything up!" Did I just say that? I sounded like a … a peroxide Barbie Doll! "I mean – "

This just prompted Cleon to go off on another laughing tangent, so I leaned against the wall and waited it out. After about five minutes of me standing in complete and utter embarrassment, he stood up and faced me.

"Look," he sighed. "I'm sorry for pulling you into all this. If you'd rather, I'll just tell the guys the truth when they get here tomorrow."

I thought about this, and realized I didn't want to stop. The lie we'd built was like a drug; I had a feeling that if I gave it up, my life would have no meaning, however corny that sounds.

"No," I said slowly, shaking my head. "We're too far in now to call it off. I mean, what would we tell your family? What would I tell my mom? That it was all just a joke? You know it would break her heart."

Not to mention mine. I mean –

Yep, yep, the little voice taunted again. You know it.

Shut up.

I knew I was rambling, but a crazy part of me just didn't want to give the lie, or the ring, up

You mean you don't want to give him up.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Yes you do. Look at him.

Yeah, and what am I looking at?

Your heart.

I snorted and Cleon smiled slightly. "You want to keep pretending we're engaged?" He stressed the word 'pretending,' but I thought he was just glad I hadn't thrown the ring in his face.

I nodded and clasped my hands together. "Okay. So what now?"

"Well I was thinking – "

"Keladry! Your father's on the phone!" My mother came bounding through the Kennan's front door waving the cordless phone in front of my face. "He wants to talk to you," she said and wiggled her eyebrows.

"Oh gee, I wonder what he wants to talk about," I said sarcastically and glared at my mother. She just grinned and asked Cleon where his mother was. He shrugged and she went off in search of Mrs. Kennan.

I took a deep breath and lifted the phone to my ear. "Hi Daddy," I said meekly.

"What the hell are you thinking, getting married to that – that hoodlum!" he bellowed.

I held the phone slightly away from my head and prayed I wouldn't go deaf. "Daddy! He's not a hoodlum! He's a Harvard law student." Cleon grinned at me and I stuck my tongue out at him.

"You're only in high school, for Christ's sake!"

I rolled my eyes. "I'm 17, daddy, and I'll be graduating in less than two weeks."

"You're too young! What about the rest of your life? What about University? What about your future?!" I could practically see my father's angry red face and his scolding finger ticking back and forth like a metronome. Tick tock, tick tock…

"I can still go to university, daddy," I said patiently. "Cleon's not going to stop me." I glared at him and then got a brilliant idea. "In fact, he said he could probably talk to the Dean of Admissions about getting me into Harvard."

I raised an eyebrow at Cleon and his face paled. His grin disappeared and he fell back against the opposite wall. "No," he whispered and shook his head violently. He slid to the floor and put his head in his hands. "Not the Dean of Admissions."

I held back a giggle and poked him with my toe.

"Really?" The anger left my father's voice. "Is that so?" I could hear the wheels in his head turning.

"What are you thinking, daddy?"

There was a pause.

"I'm thinking that this week would be a good time for a visit, don't you?"

"Daddy, I can't go to New York right now. I have exams. You know that."

He laughed. "I was thinking more along the lines of me coming to visit you."

I froze and stared at Cleon with a look of horror on my face. "You? Come visit us?"

Cleon's face fell and he looked like he was going to cry. Instead, he started banging his head against the wall.

"What's that noise?" my father asked.

"Nothing," I replied quickly. "Just the – dog."

"Dog?" Cleon mouthed and I shrugged.

Crap, I thought. Why is this becoming such a disgusting habit of mine? No more lies, Kel. This is where it stopped.

"Uh…yeah. His name is – Legolas!"

Oh yeah, good way to stop the lies.

Shut up, you.