Chapter one : Blame me, it's me, the fool, the good-for nothing scapegoat
A chill wind rustled through the leaves, and suddenly, I longed for the warmth of a fire.
Fire.
Shadow and Flames.
Gandalf.
Your fault.
No, it's not. Frodo says it isn't.
Who would you rather believe, yourself, or an outsider? I am you, there's no way you can escape me.
I believe him.
Yes, you *want* to believe him, you ignorant fool.
Stop it!
Traitor.
Stop it!
Murderer.
Please.
'Pippin?' I looked at Frodo.
'Who?'
Don't ask, please. I don't want to lie to you, but how can I be honest with you if I don't even know what's going on myself?
I did not answer; he did not ask anymore. I shivered. Frodo stood up, and held out his hand. I took it and he helped me up. Frodo is such a caring person, I wish there was anything I could do in return.
We reached our little camp. Gimli sat shovelling his food inside, and so was Sam. Boromir poked his food, staring into the fire absent-mindedly. Strider was not eating at all, and Legolas was nowhere to be seen.
There were two open spots in the circle around the fire. One between Sam and Merry, and one between Strider and Boromir. I knew what I had to do, and I sat down between Sam and Merry. On the spot that obviously been saved for 'Mister' Frodo by his loyal manservant Sam. But I knew from the way Frodo acted earlier that he had enough of Sam's interference with every step he did.
That evening Strider, Boromir and Legolas watched over us in turns, and I watched them walking about all night. It dawned pink in the east, and after a small breakfast we travelled deeper into the woods.
We walked a path on the eastern shore of the Nimrodel before it flowed into the Silverlode, and covered a great distance (or so it felt) before dusk fell. I was totally taken aback when Legolas announced that we would be sleeping in Mellyrn.* I have never even climbed a tree, let alone slept in one.
Legolas leaped lightly into a tree. Suddenly a voice came from within the leaves.
'Daro!'
Legolas fell out of the tree in fright. Soft laughter and a conversation in Elvish could be heard. It appeared that Sam breathed so loud that the elves in the tree could've shot him in the dark. Legolas told us that the elves wanted to question him and Frodo. Three people went up the ladder in the end, for Sam seemed to think that he would be needed by his 'master'.
After an half an hour Legolas descended again, with a message from the elves called Haldir, Rúmil and Orophin. We were deemed to sleep to sleep in the trees, though sleeping on a talan* wasn't as bad as I had imagined.
In the east, dawn came pale that morning. Our company, led by Haldir and his brother Rúmil, set out south. We crossed the Silverlode with the help of a couple of ropes, which was actually quite easy, but some people seemed to think it quite difficult. Sam kept muttering about his uncle Andy or something, but no one was heeding his words, as was usual. My whirlwind of thoughts was interrupted by Haldir.
'. as was agreed, we shall blindfold the eyes of Gimli the Dwarf.' of course, Gimli did not agree.
Gimli, Legolas and Aragorn had a little quarrel over what was to be done. In the end Aragorn decided that we all had to be blindfolded. How I hate being blindfolded. Of all my senses is my sight is dearest to me. I can already imagine what my knees will look like by the time we will be brought in front of that Lord and Lady. Luckily, the next day Haldir received a message from the Lady of the Galadhrim that we were to walk freely again. But on the other side, my knees were already black and blue, so for me that message came too late.
Haldir led us on to Caras Galadhon, and when we arrived my limbs were stiff and sore. The Lord and the Lady dwelled up in an enormous tree, and we had to climb countless steps to get there. In the end it did prove worth the effort, though, for the Lady Galadriel was the fairest being I ever looked upon, except maybe her granddaughter Arwen Undomiel.
'Eight there are here, yet nine there were set out from Rivendell. Tell me, where is Gandalf for I much desire to speak with him.' The Lord Celeborn drawled. Really, there was no other way to describe his manner of talking.
Lady Galadriel looked at us in turns. None of us, except Aragorn and Legolas could withstand her gaze. The Lady looked at me last, and I was frightened beyond my wits when I heard her voice inside my head. She spoke to me about the loss of Gandalf and my feelings of guilt, and at the same time she spoke to all of us about how we would rest here tonight. We descended from the tree and in the distance a song could be heard.
A Olórin i yaresse Mentaner i Numerhui Tírien i Rómenóri Maiaron i Oiosaila Manan elye etevanne Nórie i melanelye?
'A lament for Gandalf.' Legolas whispered
My fault.
Mithrandir, Mithrandir A Randir Vithren
Your fault. Shut up.
ú-reniathach i amar galen I reniad lín ne mór, nuithannen
Your fault. Stop it!
In gwidh ristennin, i fae narchannen
Your fault your fault your fault
. no .
I lach Anor ed ardhon gwannen Caled veleg, ethuiannen. *
Your fault. You can't deny it.
Sob. More tears.
Pathetic creature. Murderer.
~*~*~*~
*Mellyrn: Mallorn trees. *A talan is a platform in a tree on which the elves sleep and stuff like that. One might go so far to call it an elvish tree house. *This is the lament for Gandalf from the fellowship soundtrack. For all those unlucky beings who do not own it; here's the translation.
Verse one: Quenya Olórin, who once was Sent by the Lords of the West To guard the lands of the East Wisest of all Maiar What drove you to leave That which you loved?
Verses two and three: Sindarin Mithrandir, Mithrandir O Pilgrim Grey No more will you wander the green fields of this earth Your journey has ended in darkness The bonds cut, the spirit broken The Flame of Anor has left this World A great light has gone out.
A chill wind rustled through the leaves, and suddenly, I longed for the warmth of a fire.
Fire.
Shadow and Flames.
Gandalf.
Your fault.
No, it's not. Frodo says it isn't.
Who would you rather believe, yourself, or an outsider? I am you, there's no way you can escape me.
I believe him.
Yes, you *want* to believe him, you ignorant fool.
Stop it!
Traitor.
Stop it!
Murderer.
Please.
'Pippin?' I looked at Frodo.
'Who?'
Don't ask, please. I don't want to lie to you, but how can I be honest with you if I don't even know what's going on myself?
I did not answer; he did not ask anymore. I shivered. Frodo stood up, and held out his hand. I took it and he helped me up. Frodo is such a caring person, I wish there was anything I could do in return.
We reached our little camp. Gimli sat shovelling his food inside, and so was Sam. Boromir poked his food, staring into the fire absent-mindedly. Strider was not eating at all, and Legolas was nowhere to be seen.
There were two open spots in the circle around the fire. One between Sam and Merry, and one between Strider and Boromir. I knew what I had to do, and I sat down between Sam and Merry. On the spot that obviously been saved for 'Mister' Frodo by his loyal manservant Sam. But I knew from the way Frodo acted earlier that he had enough of Sam's interference with every step he did.
That evening Strider, Boromir and Legolas watched over us in turns, and I watched them walking about all night. It dawned pink in the east, and after a small breakfast we travelled deeper into the woods.
We walked a path on the eastern shore of the Nimrodel before it flowed into the Silverlode, and covered a great distance (or so it felt) before dusk fell. I was totally taken aback when Legolas announced that we would be sleeping in Mellyrn.* I have never even climbed a tree, let alone slept in one.
Legolas leaped lightly into a tree. Suddenly a voice came from within the leaves.
'Daro!'
Legolas fell out of the tree in fright. Soft laughter and a conversation in Elvish could be heard. It appeared that Sam breathed so loud that the elves in the tree could've shot him in the dark. Legolas told us that the elves wanted to question him and Frodo. Three people went up the ladder in the end, for Sam seemed to think that he would be needed by his 'master'.
After an half an hour Legolas descended again, with a message from the elves called Haldir, Rúmil and Orophin. We were deemed to sleep to sleep in the trees, though sleeping on a talan* wasn't as bad as I had imagined.
In the east, dawn came pale that morning. Our company, led by Haldir and his brother Rúmil, set out south. We crossed the Silverlode with the help of a couple of ropes, which was actually quite easy, but some people seemed to think it quite difficult. Sam kept muttering about his uncle Andy or something, but no one was heeding his words, as was usual. My whirlwind of thoughts was interrupted by Haldir.
'. as was agreed, we shall blindfold the eyes of Gimli the Dwarf.' of course, Gimli did not agree.
Gimli, Legolas and Aragorn had a little quarrel over what was to be done. In the end Aragorn decided that we all had to be blindfolded. How I hate being blindfolded. Of all my senses is my sight is dearest to me. I can already imagine what my knees will look like by the time we will be brought in front of that Lord and Lady. Luckily, the next day Haldir received a message from the Lady of the Galadhrim that we were to walk freely again. But on the other side, my knees were already black and blue, so for me that message came too late.
Haldir led us on to Caras Galadhon, and when we arrived my limbs were stiff and sore. The Lord and the Lady dwelled up in an enormous tree, and we had to climb countless steps to get there. In the end it did prove worth the effort, though, for the Lady Galadriel was the fairest being I ever looked upon, except maybe her granddaughter Arwen Undomiel.
'Eight there are here, yet nine there were set out from Rivendell. Tell me, where is Gandalf for I much desire to speak with him.' The Lord Celeborn drawled. Really, there was no other way to describe his manner of talking.
Lady Galadriel looked at us in turns. None of us, except Aragorn and Legolas could withstand her gaze. The Lady looked at me last, and I was frightened beyond my wits when I heard her voice inside my head. She spoke to me about the loss of Gandalf and my feelings of guilt, and at the same time she spoke to all of us about how we would rest here tonight. We descended from the tree and in the distance a song could be heard.
A Olórin i yaresse Mentaner i Numerhui Tírien i Rómenóri Maiaron i Oiosaila Manan elye etevanne Nórie i melanelye?
'A lament for Gandalf.' Legolas whispered
My fault.
Mithrandir, Mithrandir A Randir Vithren
Your fault. Shut up.
ú-reniathach i amar galen I reniad lín ne mór, nuithannen
Your fault. Stop it!
In gwidh ristennin, i fae narchannen
Your fault your fault your fault
. no .
I lach Anor ed ardhon gwannen Caled veleg, ethuiannen. *
Your fault. You can't deny it.
Sob. More tears.
Pathetic creature. Murderer.
~*~*~*~
*Mellyrn: Mallorn trees. *A talan is a platform in a tree on which the elves sleep and stuff like that. One might go so far to call it an elvish tree house. *This is the lament for Gandalf from the fellowship soundtrack. For all those unlucky beings who do not own it; here's the translation.
Verse one: Quenya Olórin, who once was Sent by the Lords of the West To guard the lands of the East Wisest of all Maiar What drove you to leave That which you loved?
Verses two and three: Sindarin Mithrandir, Mithrandir O Pilgrim Grey No more will you wander the green fields of this earth Your journey has ended in darkness The bonds cut, the spirit broken The Flame of Anor has left this World A great light has gone out.