Chapter three: I want to run away, never say goodbye.
It had been a few days since I had last spoken to Frodo. We were all seated around the fire, even Legolas and Gimli were there. And the strange thing was; they weren't even arguing or insulting each other. I wonder what has gotten into them? I observed them for a while. They were speaking together and occasionally to others, all weariness and sorrow seemed to have fallen from their shoulders.
In other news, I felt weary beyond curing. I rested my head on Merry's shoulder and closed my eyes.
'What's the matter, Pip?' he whispered.
'Nothing, just tired.'
'You're never 'just tired'. There's always another reason. Did you still think I'd fall for that?'
'Not really, but it was worth a try.'
I let my gaze wander over the Company. Frodo looked thoughtfully up at the sky, like he always did when he wanted to think. Boromir and Strider were having a hushed but heated discussion, and I wondered what they were talking about. Legolas and Gimli were merely eating, and so was Merry beside me. Sam was bent over his plate, too, but when he looked up, I saw my own death in his eyes. I actually found it quite funny, and I chuckled silently.
'What?'
'Nothing! Though. there might be something. but I'm not going to tell you now.' No. definitely not.
Merry dragged me along into the woods early the next morning, probably to question me thoroughly about what he (hadn't) heard yester eve. My suspicions proved true when he suddenly halted, motioned for me to sit down, and stared at me expectantly.
'Well?'
'I don't now where to start.'
'At the beginning, perhaps?'
'Yes, perhaps.'
You're not going to tell him.
Oh?
Yes.
Maybe I will.
No!
Why not?
Because I tell you not to, and you ought to listen to me. You already proved to be the foolish and ignorant one, so from now on I'll tell you what to do!
I felt really frightened and threatened, and I decided it would indeed be better to keep my mouth shut.
'Get on with your story already!'
Before I could stop myself, I had already told Merry about the first day in Lothlórien and the 'incident' on the stairs. But I kept quiet about the voice inside my head, for it had told me so. When I told Merry about the kiss and Sam, he almost laughed his ass off.
'But,' he spluttered moments later, 'you haven't told me yet what was so funny yesterday.'
'Oh, I just got a major death glare from Sam.' I grinned
'But you still haven't told me what is wrong about this situation.' So I told Merry about how I thought Frodo was just playing with me, and using me to annoy Sam.
'What I make of your words, is that you're really bothered by that. Are you in love with him, Pippin?'
'No! No, it can't be.'
'Why not?'
'There are so many reasons why. I mean, I'm only a child in our reckoning. He's twenty-two years older than I am.'
'Oh, come on, Pip, you know no one in this fellowship sees you as a child! And in matters like this age isn't of any significance! But.' he added thoughtfully, 'you do have to keep in mind that every day can be your or his last, you know. So if you keep hiding your f-.'
'Enough! I don't want to hear it, I get your point!' I yelled
And then softer: 'You're probably right.'
And laughing: 'Thank you for this wonderful advice, O Meriadoc the Wise!' I exclaimed with a mock-bow.
'Oh, shut up!' Merry grinned
Suddenly I spotted Frodo wandering between the trees on my left side. I stiffened, and felt a jolt of panic rush up to my head, but I pretended I hadn't seen him and looked in another direction as though fascinated by something, but not seeing anything at all. I only hoped that Merry wouldn't notice Frodo and that Frodo wouldn't notice us. For I knew what was going to happen if they did.
'Hey Frodo!' Merry yelled
Frodo started, but then headed in our direction.
'We were just talking about you!' I flinched
'Merry!' I hissed
'You were?' Frodo asked, seemingly only mildly interested, but I saw him bite his lip again.
I shot Merry a now-look-what-you've-done glare, but Merry simply whispered that the only way to solve my problem was to talk about it. He knew how I hated to talk about my 'problems'. He did that on purpose, the bastard. Frodo stared at us with a blank look on his face and sat down.
Fly, you fool.
'I'm listening.' Frodo said
Fly, you fool!
My eyes darted from one gap in the trees to another.
'Yes, Pippin, he's listening.'
I shifted uncomfortably. I knew running away wouldn't solve it, but I had no other choice.
'Pippin?'
RUN! Go go go go go!
And I was off. Running through the trees and the thicket, away from all those annoying questions and complicated situations. I stumbled, but scrambled up again and ran on. I wanted to hide myself somewhere where I would never have to talk to anyone anymore. But that was not an option. So I just had to hide for today. Maybe they'd forget. But where to hide.
I heard them coming after me.
'Pippin!' Frodo's voice called
'Pippin, come back here, this is ridiculous!' Merry yelled, annoyed.
Now it was my turn to get angry. Mad at Merry, because he started it. Mad at Frodo, for being so perfect that he made me fall in love with him. Mad at my parents, who put me into this cruel world. Mad at myself, for agreeing to go on this accursed quest.
Yes, don't forget yourself. for it is not them, but you who is the cause of it all.
Am I?
Yes. But there is a way out, you know.
~*~*~*~
A/N: What? Only 7 bloody reviews? That's a little disappointing. *pout*. For the people who have reviewed:
Pointy eared archer: I love you! You made my day! No. wait. my whole week! Quality fanfic, me? *squeals in delight* thank you thank you thank you!
Endomiel: considering the fact that you tell me I'm scary already I-don't- know how many times a day at school, you really don't need to put it in your reviews, you know. I know I'm scary, and damn proud of it! Moeha to you and have a not-nice day :P
Dimitri: all though it's quite senseless to write you something, considering the fact you're sitting next to me and I could as well just tell you. I'd like to thank you for your faithful reviewing. No offence about France today. Satisfied?
Kawai Hikari: I'm glad you like my idea. Poor Pippin indeed, I'm going to make them suffer even more, but, ah well. Thanks for the review anyway!
It had been a few days since I had last spoken to Frodo. We were all seated around the fire, even Legolas and Gimli were there. And the strange thing was; they weren't even arguing or insulting each other. I wonder what has gotten into them? I observed them for a while. They were speaking together and occasionally to others, all weariness and sorrow seemed to have fallen from their shoulders.
In other news, I felt weary beyond curing. I rested my head on Merry's shoulder and closed my eyes.
'What's the matter, Pip?' he whispered.
'Nothing, just tired.'
'You're never 'just tired'. There's always another reason. Did you still think I'd fall for that?'
'Not really, but it was worth a try.'
I let my gaze wander over the Company. Frodo looked thoughtfully up at the sky, like he always did when he wanted to think. Boromir and Strider were having a hushed but heated discussion, and I wondered what they were talking about. Legolas and Gimli were merely eating, and so was Merry beside me. Sam was bent over his plate, too, but when he looked up, I saw my own death in his eyes. I actually found it quite funny, and I chuckled silently.
'What?'
'Nothing! Though. there might be something. but I'm not going to tell you now.' No. definitely not.
Merry dragged me along into the woods early the next morning, probably to question me thoroughly about what he (hadn't) heard yester eve. My suspicions proved true when he suddenly halted, motioned for me to sit down, and stared at me expectantly.
'Well?'
'I don't now where to start.'
'At the beginning, perhaps?'
'Yes, perhaps.'
You're not going to tell him.
Oh?
Yes.
Maybe I will.
No!
Why not?
Because I tell you not to, and you ought to listen to me. You already proved to be the foolish and ignorant one, so from now on I'll tell you what to do!
I felt really frightened and threatened, and I decided it would indeed be better to keep my mouth shut.
'Get on with your story already!'
Before I could stop myself, I had already told Merry about the first day in Lothlórien and the 'incident' on the stairs. But I kept quiet about the voice inside my head, for it had told me so. When I told Merry about the kiss and Sam, he almost laughed his ass off.
'But,' he spluttered moments later, 'you haven't told me yet what was so funny yesterday.'
'Oh, I just got a major death glare from Sam.' I grinned
'But you still haven't told me what is wrong about this situation.' So I told Merry about how I thought Frodo was just playing with me, and using me to annoy Sam.
'What I make of your words, is that you're really bothered by that. Are you in love with him, Pippin?'
'No! No, it can't be.'
'Why not?'
'There are so many reasons why. I mean, I'm only a child in our reckoning. He's twenty-two years older than I am.'
'Oh, come on, Pip, you know no one in this fellowship sees you as a child! And in matters like this age isn't of any significance! But.' he added thoughtfully, 'you do have to keep in mind that every day can be your or his last, you know. So if you keep hiding your f-.'
'Enough! I don't want to hear it, I get your point!' I yelled
And then softer: 'You're probably right.'
And laughing: 'Thank you for this wonderful advice, O Meriadoc the Wise!' I exclaimed with a mock-bow.
'Oh, shut up!' Merry grinned
Suddenly I spotted Frodo wandering between the trees on my left side. I stiffened, and felt a jolt of panic rush up to my head, but I pretended I hadn't seen him and looked in another direction as though fascinated by something, but not seeing anything at all. I only hoped that Merry wouldn't notice Frodo and that Frodo wouldn't notice us. For I knew what was going to happen if they did.
'Hey Frodo!' Merry yelled
Frodo started, but then headed in our direction.
'We were just talking about you!' I flinched
'Merry!' I hissed
'You were?' Frodo asked, seemingly only mildly interested, but I saw him bite his lip again.
I shot Merry a now-look-what-you've-done glare, but Merry simply whispered that the only way to solve my problem was to talk about it. He knew how I hated to talk about my 'problems'. He did that on purpose, the bastard. Frodo stared at us with a blank look on his face and sat down.
Fly, you fool.
'I'm listening.' Frodo said
Fly, you fool!
My eyes darted from one gap in the trees to another.
'Yes, Pippin, he's listening.'
I shifted uncomfortably. I knew running away wouldn't solve it, but I had no other choice.
'Pippin?'
RUN! Go go go go go!
And I was off. Running through the trees and the thicket, away from all those annoying questions and complicated situations. I stumbled, but scrambled up again and ran on. I wanted to hide myself somewhere where I would never have to talk to anyone anymore. But that was not an option. So I just had to hide for today. Maybe they'd forget. But where to hide.
I heard them coming after me.
'Pippin!' Frodo's voice called
'Pippin, come back here, this is ridiculous!' Merry yelled, annoyed.
Now it was my turn to get angry. Mad at Merry, because he started it. Mad at Frodo, for being so perfect that he made me fall in love with him. Mad at my parents, who put me into this cruel world. Mad at myself, for agreeing to go on this accursed quest.
Yes, don't forget yourself. for it is not them, but you who is the cause of it all.
Am I?
Yes. But there is a way out, you know.
~*~*~*~
A/N: What? Only 7 bloody reviews? That's a little disappointing. *pout*. For the people who have reviewed:
Pointy eared archer: I love you! You made my day! No. wait. my whole week! Quality fanfic, me? *squeals in delight* thank you thank you thank you!
Endomiel: considering the fact that you tell me I'm scary already I-don't- know how many times a day at school, you really don't need to put it in your reviews, you know. I know I'm scary, and damn proud of it! Moeha to you and have a not-nice day :P
Dimitri: all though it's quite senseless to write you something, considering the fact you're sitting next to me and I could as well just tell you. I'd like to thank you for your faithful reviewing. No offence about France today. Satisfied?
Kawai Hikari: I'm glad you like my idea. Poor Pippin indeed, I'm going to make them suffer even more, but, ah well. Thanks for the review anyway!