Part 10
"Hey, penny for them?" Feeling compelled to break the silence that seemed to have fallen between Shalimar and himself since they'd been dropped off out here in the boonies, Brennan stopped and waited for her to notice he wasn't still following her across the expanse of sparsely wooded scrubland lying between them and their goal.
They hadn't wanted to bring the plane down too close, in case this did prove to be what they were looking for and the noise and dust cloud of a landing that even stealth mode couldn't disguise attracted the wrong kind of interest. There'd also been the small matter of an intermittent problem with the communications systems that appeared to worsen with closer proximity to the target – something Brennan had immediately ascribed to some kind of jamming signal, despite Adam's insistence that it could simply be an anomaly caused by the terrain or some natural substance beneath it. Whatever the reason for it, though, it had forced them to choose a drop-off point a mile or so from the boundary of the property, one that would also serve as their pick-up at the appointed time should contact via their com-links prove impossible.
The flight down had been relatively short – under an hour and a half - but had seemed longer somehow, perhaps because everyone was too caught up in his or her own thoughts to make small talk. The few times he'd looked, both the girls had been staring distractedly at nothing in particular, while Adam had provided only monosyllabic responses to his attempts to start a conversation. And the irregular clicking sound he'd heard over the hum of the engines, worrying him initially that they had a fault, had proved to be nothing more than Shalimar playing desultorily with a switch on her console, patently unaware of what she was doing.
He'd been sure that getting out of the pressure cooker of Sanctuary would help them all re-focus on events in the real world, on the task they'd started and from which – for reasons he'd had to accept, even though he wasn't sure he fully understood – they'd become sidetracked. But he was beginning to think he was the only one seeing it that way.
He felt for Jesse – what the guy had gone through in the river must have been hell, and he'd had enough nightmares of his own to know how real they could seem, how they easily they could colour the way you saw things. But he had to admit to himself he wasn't enjoying the way what was happening with his younger team mate had everyone else jumping, taking their eye off the ball.
Even so, he was careful not to examine too closely whose reactions were bothering him most.
Shalimar took several more strides before his words percolated, finally turning back to stand staring at him, hands on her denim-clad hips and head tilted quizzically to one side. "What? What do you mean?"
He sighed, folding his arms and squinting at her in the bright sunshine. "It's not like you to be this quiet this long, not when we're out on a job. Thought you might like to talk about whatever's bothering you."
With a slightly incredulous laugh, she walked towards him, fetching up a few feet away. "Whatever's bothering me? You're kidding, right? You *know* what's bothering me!"
But he stood his ground, determined to have his say. "Listen, I can tell all this stuff with Jess has been hard for you, but what's worrying me right now is that we have a job to do. I don't know what we're gonna find up there, what kind of trouble we might run into. But I gotta know that your mind is on that and not back in Sanctuary." For a moment, as he saw a glint of yellow flicker in her eyes, he thought he might have gone too far, but after a few long seconds she seemed to realise he was only being honest. And that it perhaps deserved some honesty in return.
"Maybe you're right... but let's talk as we walk, OK? Time's a tickin'." Without waiting for his reply she turned away and set off again towards the still distant tree line marking the edge of the estate, forcing him to hurry after her.
"So, what's got you so wound up? Jess is going to be alright, you know – and he's quite safe back there."
"I know. It's not that. It's... well, it's more to do with what happened in the safe house, with Joshua and the others. I haven't thought about that day for years. But now I can't seem to think about anything else."
"Why? I mean, OK, losing people is bad, but it's not like it's the only time it's happened. What makes this one special?"
There was another silence, punctuated only by the sound of their footsteps crunching into the dry earth, but just as he was about to prompt her again she said, simply, "You had to be there."
"Try me," he persisted. "Tell me what happened."
So, taking deep breath, she did...
...Tapping a course correction into the navigational display, Emma sat back and glanced across at Adam, weighing up how best to broach the topic foremost in her mind. She could tell without needing to read him that he was unusually apprehensive about the up-coming meeting, though she wasn't entirely sure why. But it wasn't that which was occupying her specifically; she'd been trying to make sense of the feelings she'd been getting back from both Adam and Shalimar since the incident with Joshua had been mentioned. Sadness, definitely, regret too. But more than that, there was a level of concern that seemed incongruous for someone they hadn't seen – or, by their own admission, even thought about - in so long. Which made her wonder who it was really for.
"Do they know we're coming?" she asked, finally, needing to find some place to start.
He shook his head in response. "No, I had no way of telling them. And it's probably better this way."
"Why? What are you expecting to happen?"
"I don't know. I just have a feeling - a strong feeling - that there's something going on that involves Joshua."
Emma thought about that for a moment, before saying, "You think he's somehow connecting with all the others, don't you? Maybe even connecting *them*?" She saw him shoot her a sharp look, but she went on before he could answer. "I can understand that kind of bond being forged with those he'd spent time with, especially if they were all living in fear, hiding from the GSA. But why Jesse? You said he wasn't with them much in the safe house, that he only joined them after the building collapsed? It doesn't seem enough for the kind of reaction he's been having."
Adam looked at her a moment longer before turning his attention back to the controls. But after a few seconds, his eyes slid her way again. "You're right. But there was a bit more to it than that..." he murmured...
... "It was like something straight out of every disaster movie you ever saw." Shalimar kept her gaze straight ahead as she spoke. "We'd been fighting round the back entrance, so the rear of the building took the brunt of the wave. The front and a lot of the roof was still standing, but inside it seemed everything had collapsed. There was rubble everywhere, sparking electrics, the odd fire from ruptured pipes, air full of dust. It was a mess, and there didn't seem to be anyway anyone could have survived it. But then we picked up Joshua."
She flicked a brief glance at her companion. "It was totally spooky – we all just looked at each other, like, did you hear that? And we all had..."
A few more moments silence, then, "We got as close as we could, following his signal, but there was so much debris in the way it was obvious we were going to have to find another way in – and that was going to take time. And then we lost him. He just kind of faded away..." She tailed off again, eyes distant, haunted by whatever she was seeing...
... "And that's when Jesse went in after them?" asked Emma.
"Yes," Adam nodded. "I didn't want him to – we didn't know what lay between us and them, but it seemed the only way to be really sure if there was anyone left there to try and save. And he was determined to do it regardless. Somehow – I have no idea how - he managed to find enough breathing spaces to unphase in on the way, because they were much further than we'd expected. But he got to them."
He paused and Emma waited, not wanting to interrupt the flow now she'd got him started.
"They were all pretty panic-struck in there to begin with; they were squeezed together into a small space, the place was obviously very unstable, the air was bad, and there were injuries that needed attention – serious ones in Joshua's case, as it turned out. So, instead of coming out again to work with us as we'd planned, he stayed with them, did what he could to help them and calm them down, kept us in touch via his com-link."
"But..." Emma couldn't help herself. "He hates small..." She broke off, eyes wide.
"Yes, he does," Adam agreed...
... "Shal, slow down!" It seemed to Brennan that the feral was moving faster and faster as she spoke, almost as if she was trying to get away from the memories, and he was relieved when, with a wild look, she dropped the pace back to a mere walk.
"So, you used his signal to guide you in?" he queried.
"Yes, we did. God, that makes it sound so easy! It wasn't though. And it took so much time!" Her frustration was obvious. "We had to find people who'd help us without alerting the authorities, and we had to be so careful how we moved things in case we brought the whole thing down – much as I wanted to just rip my way in. And the smell... the blood..." She slowed to a halt, eyes filling with tears as she whispered, "We kept finding the bodies of those who hadn't been so lucky," and he had to fight the urge to pull her into a comforting hug, oddly unsure how the gesture would be received right now.
But after a few moments she wiped a hand impatiently across her eyes and went on. "We finally reached them, managed to make a hole big enough for them to crawl out of, all of them except Jesse. And Joshua, of course. But it took us much longer to stabilise the structure enough to free him."
And, not for the first time since she'd started, he got the impression that there was so much more to it than she was actually saying...
... "No, we didn't 'hear' Joshua again, though he apparently wasn't totally unconscious the whole time," Adam responded to Emma's question. "The others said that once Jesse had done what he could for them, he stayed with Joshua the whole time, trying to keep him awake when he came round, talking to him even when he was unresponsive. And we couldn't get him to leave until we could get them both out, even though he knew there was a real danger we'd actually bring the whole thing down on top of them."
"He could just have phased out, though, couldn't he? If the place had collapsed?"
Adam sighed again. "I'm not sure that would have been his initial reaction. And in any case, in the end he was all there was to stop the whole thing from caving in. He kept massing himself again and again so he could use his density to allow him to support the section of wall above Joshua while we worked around them, despite the fact it was so doubtful the boy would survive." He laughed softly, and a little wryly. "He was so stiff he could barely move afterwards – said heavy breathing had taken on a whole new meaning for him." And Emma smiled with him...
... "But the kid didn't die, right? And Jesse obviously got out OK. So, all's well that ends well."
Shalimar pulled a face at Brennan's rather simplistic view of matters. "Oh, yeah, that was ending well. So good we all went home and partied for a week..."
"But..." Brennan began, a little startled at her sarcasm, but she didn't let him go on.
"That kind of thing is never really over! The physical injuries may mend, the memories fade, but the effects can still be felt." Pausing in her angry tirade, she went on more calmly, taking pity on his confusion. "Gayle left immediately – couldn't stand being near people, needed to be alone. Tom – he's a feral, a canine – he spent the next year hiding out in his apartment, too frightened to go outside. And it was right after that Jess's claustrophobia really kicked in. He could barely stand to be indoors, let alone in anywhere small and enclosed, and I found him sneaking off to sleep outside on the mountain for the first few nights. Even once he'd gotten over the worst of it, he opted for the dojo floor over his bedroom for weeks."
She looked across at him with a sad smile. "And it turned his fear of being buried alive from just something he preferred not to think about into a major issue for him. He was OK down there while he had the others to worry about, to boost him – particularly Gayle, with her telempathic powers – but once it was just him and an unconscious kid, it was all too easy for him to imagine the worst."
"I still don't understand how he of all people can be frightened of something like that," he mused, adding a surprised, "What?" when he was greeted by a fierce glare. "All he has to do is phase himself out of trouble!"
"But that only works if he can walk or drop down through something that has space on the other side," she said forcefully. "Being buried tends to involve having a load of stuff on top of you and, as far as I know, Jesse hasn't learned the art of self-levitation, any more than he's learned how to swim!"
"Well... OK, I'll give you that," Brennan agreed, expression thoughtful.
"He's had to work really hard to overcome his fear of being shut in small spaces, though," Shalimar continued. "If he'd let it take over, he'd have been no use to us or himself. And I don't think he could have lived with that."
"Well, I guess it kind of explains why he seems to get so spooked by the idea of phasing through anything thicker than a few of feet, then."
"Does he? Still?" She looked at him as if this was news to her, which he found pleasing for some reason he didn't want to examine too closely.
"Only when he thinks he might take one of us with him if he chokes halfway through," he shrugged, watching her turn away again to absorb his words...
... "He only visited Joshua a couple of times before we moved him to the nursing home," Adam concluded. "I think he was torn between wanting to carry on what he'd started in there and needing to just forget the whole experience – and ended up doing neither, really."
"Understandable in the circumstances," Emma acknowledged. "And I can see why you feel there's likely to be a connection between them. Though... you have no idea how the coma will have affected Joshua or his powers. He might have no memory of what happened, let alone the people involved."
"Well, we'll find out soon enough, won't we? I think we're there." He pointed through the forward window, and she followed his gesture to see what had to be their destination nestling in the hills ahead...
... "And I can't believe I just told you all that..." Shalimar smiled somewhat self-consciously up at Brennan.
"Ah, but do you feel better for it?" he asked, returning the smile.
She considered the question for a moment, before nodding back. "Yes, actually, I think I do." She reached a hand to squeeze his arm. "Thanks, you." And then, with a sly grin, she said, "So, whatcha waiting for? Last one to the trees cleans the kitchen for a month!" And she was off and running, leaving him cursing in her wake.
**
Silence.
Then, whispered, "They're here."
More silence.
"Oh my! Joshua, it looks like we have visitors. Now, how on earth did they get here? Do you see a car?" A pause. "Oh! You're looking very flushed, dear – are you all right? Do you want to lie down?"
"No! No... I'm fine. Just fine."
"Well, if you're sure. I'd better go and see what they want."
Softly, to the empty room, "Me..."
****
"Hey, penny for them?" Feeling compelled to break the silence that seemed to have fallen between Shalimar and himself since they'd been dropped off out here in the boonies, Brennan stopped and waited for her to notice he wasn't still following her across the expanse of sparsely wooded scrubland lying between them and their goal.
They hadn't wanted to bring the plane down too close, in case this did prove to be what they were looking for and the noise and dust cloud of a landing that even stealth mode couldn't disguise attracted the wrong kind of interest. There'd also been the small matter of an intermittent problem with the communications systems that appeared to worsen with closer proximity to the target – something Brennan had immediately ascribed to some kind of jamming signal, despite Adam's insistence that it could simply be an anomaly caused by the terrain or some natural substance beneath it. Whatever the reason for it, though, it had forced them to choose a drop-off point a mile or so from the boundary of the property, one that would also serve as their pick-up at the appointed time should contact via their com-links prove impossible.
The flight down had been relatively short – under an hour and a half - but had seemed longer somehow, perhaps because everyone was too caught up in his or her own thoughts to make small talk. The few times he'd looked, both the girls had been staring distractedly at nothing in particular, while Adam had provided only monosyllabic responses to his attempts to start a conversation. And the irregular clicking sound he'd heard over the hum of the engines, worrying him initially that they had a fault, had proved to be nothing more than Shalimar playing desultorily with a switch on her console, patently unaware of what she was doing.
He'd been sure that getting out of the pressure cooker of Sanctuary would help them all re-focus on events in the real world, on the task they'd started and from which – for reasons he'd had to accept, even though he wasn't sure he fully understood – they'd become sidetracked. But he was beginning to think he was the only one seeing it that way.
He felt for Jesse – what the guy had gone through in the river must have been hell, and he'd had enough nightmares of his own to know how real they could seem, how they easily they could colour the way you saw things. But he had to admit to himself he wasn't enjoying the way what was happening with his younger team mate had everyone else jumping, taking their eye off the ball.
Even so, he was careful not to examine too closely whose reactions were bothering him most.
Shalimar took several more strides before his words percolated, finally turning back to stand staring at him, hands on her denim-clad hips and head tilted quizzically to one side. "What? What do you mean?"
He sighed, folding his arms and squinting at her in the bright sunshine. "It's not like you to be this quiet this long, not when we're out on a job. Thought you might like to talk about whatever's bothering you."
With a slightly incredulous laugh, she walked towards him, fetching up a few feet away. "Whatever's bothering me? You're kidding, right? You *know* what's bothering me!"
But he stood his ground, determined to have his say. "Listen, I can tell all this stuff with Jess has been hard for you, but what's worrying me right now is that we have a job to do. I don't know what we're gonna find up there, what kind of trouble we might run into. But I gotta know that your mind is on that and not back in Sanctuary." For a moment, as he saw a glint of yellow flicker in her eyes, he thought he might have gone too far, but after a few long seconds she seemed to realise he was only being honest. And that it perhaps deserved some honesty in return.
"Maybe you're right... but let's talk as we walk, OK? Time's a tickin'." Without waiting for his reply she turned away and set off again towards the still distant tree line marking the edge of the estate, forcing him to hurry after her.
"So, what's got you so wound up? Jess is going to be alright, you know – and he's quite safe back there."
"I know. It's not that. It's... well, it's more to do with what happened in the safe house, with Joshua and the others. I haven't thought about that day for years. But now I can't seem to think about anything else."
"Why? I mean, OK, losing people is bad, but it's not like it's the only time it's happened. What makes this one special?"
There was another silence, punctuated only by the sound of their footsteps crunching into the dry earth, but just as he was about to prompt her again she said, simply, "You had to be there."
"Try me," he persisted. "Tell me what happened."
So, taking deep breath, she did...
...Tapping a course correction into the navigational display, Emma sat back and glanced across at Adam, weighing up how best to broach the topic foremost in her mind. She could tell without needing to read him that he was unusually apprehensive about the up-coming meeting, though she wasn't entirely sure why. But it wasn't that which was occupying her specifically; she'd been trying to make sense of the feelings she'd been getting back from both Adam and Shalimar since the incident with Joshua had been mentioned. Sadness, definitely, regret too. But more than that, there was a level of concern that seemed incongruous for someone they hadn't seen – or, by their own admission, even thought about - in so long. Which made her wonder who it was really for.
"Do they know we're coming?" she asked, finally, needing to find some place to start.
He shook his head in response. "No, I had no way of telling them. And it's probably better this way."
"Why? What are you expecting to happen?"
"I don't know. I just have a feeling - a strong feeling - that there's something going on that involves Joshua."
Emma thought about that for a moment, before saying, "You think he's somehow connecting with all the others, don't you? Maybe even connecting *them*?" She saw him shoot her a sharp look, but she went on before he could answer. "I can understand that kind of bond being forged with those he'd spent time with, especially if they were all living in fear, hiding from the GSA. But why Jesse? You said he wasn't with them much in the safe house, that he only joined them after the building collapsed? It doesn't seem enough for the kind of reaction he's been having."
Adam looked at her a moment longer before turning his attention back to the controls. But after a few seconds, his eyes slid her way again. "You're right. But there was a bit more to it than that..." he murmured...
... "It was like something straight out of every disaster movie you ever saw." Shalimar kept her gaze straight ahead as she spoke. "We'd been fighting round the back entrance, so the rear of the building took the brunt of the wave. The front and a lot of the roof was still standing, but inside it seemed everything had collapsed. There was rubble everywhere, sparking electrics, the odd fire from ruptured pipes, air full of dust. It was a mess, and there didn't seem to be anyway anyone could have survived it. But then we picked up Joshua."
She flicked a brief glance at her companion. "It was totally spooky – we all just looked at each other, like, did you hear that? And we all had..."
A few more moments silence, then, "We got as close as we could, following his signal, but there was so much debris in the way it was obvious we were going to have to find another way in – and that was going to take time. And then we lost him. He just kind of faded away..." She tailed off again, eyes distant, haunted by whatever she was seeing...
... "And that's when Jesse went in after them?" asked Emma.
"Yes," Adam nodded. "I didn't want him to – we didn't know what lay between us and them, but it seemed the only way to be really sure if there was anyone left there to try and save. And he was determined to do it regardless. Somehow – I have no idea how - he managed to find enough breathing spaces to unphase in on the way, because they were much further than we'd expected. But he got to them."
He paused and Emma waited, not wanting to interrupt the flow now she'd got him started.
"They were all pretty panic-struck in there to begin with; they were squeezed together into a small space, the place was obviously very unstable, the air was bad, and there were injuries that needed attention – serious ones in Joshua's case, as it turned out. So, instead of coming out again to work with us as we'd planned, he stayed with them, did what he could to help them and calm them down, kept us in touch via his com-link."
"But..." Emma couldn't help herself. "He hates small..." She broke off, eyes wide.
"Yes, he does," Adam agreed...
... "Shal, slow down!" It seemed to Brennan that the feral was moving faster and faster as she spoke, almost as if she was trying to get away from the memories, and he was relieved when, with a wild look, she dropped the pace back to a mere walk.
"So, you used his signal to guide you in?" he queried.
"Yes, we did. God, that makes it sound so easy! It wasn't though. And it took so much time!" Her frustration was obvious. "We had to find people who'd help us without alerting the authorities, and we had to be so careful how we moved things in case we brought the whole thing down – much as I wanted to just rip my way in. And the smell... the blood..." She slowed to a halt, eyes filling with tears as she whispered, "We kept finding the bodies of those who hadn't been so lucky," and he had to fight the urge to pull her into a comforting hug, oddly unsure how the gesture would be received right now.
But after a few moments she wiped a hand impatiently across her eyes and went on. "We finally reached them, managed to make a hole big enough for them to crawl out of, all of them except Jesse. And Joshua, of course. But it took us much longer to stabilise the structure enough to free him."
And, not for the first time since she'd started, he got the impression that there was so much more to it than she was actually saying...
... "No, we didn't 'hear' Joshua again, though he apparently wasn't totally unconscious the whole time," Adam responded to Emma's question. "The others said that once Jesse had done what he could for them, he stayed with Joshua the whole time, trying to keep him awake when he came round, talking to him even when he was unresponsive. And we couldn't get him to leave until we could get them both out, even though he knew there was a real danger we'd actually bring the whole thing down on top of them."
"He could just have phased out, though, couldn't he? If the place had collapsed?"
Adam sighed again. "I'm not sure that would have been his initial reaction. And in any case, in the end he was all there was to stop the whole thing from caving in. He kept massing himself again and again so he could use his density to allow him to support the section of wall above Joshua while we worked around them, despite the fact it was so doubtful the boy would survive." He laughed softly, and a little wryly. "He was so stiff he could barely move afterwards – said heavy breathing had taken on a whole new meaning for him." And Emma smiled with him...
... "But the kid didn't die, right? And Jesse obviously got out OK. So, all's well that ends well."
Shalimar pulled a face at Brennan's rather simplistic view of matters. "Oh, yeah, that was ending well. So good we all went home and partied for a week..."
"But..." Brennan began, a little startled at her sarcasm, but she didn't let him go on.
"That kind of thing is never really over! The physical injuries may mend, the memories fade, but the effects can still be felt." Pausing in her angry tirade, she went on more calmly, taking pity on his confusion. "Gayle left immediately – couldn't stand being near people, needed to be alone. Tom – he's a feral, a canine – he spent the next year hiding out in his apartment, too frightened to go outside. And it was right after that Jess's claustrophobia really kicked in. He could barely stand to be indoors, let alone in anywhere small and enclosed, and I found him sneaking off to sleep outside on the mountain for the first few nights. Even once he'd gotten over the worst of it, he opted for the dojo floor over his bedroom for weeks."
She looked across at him with a sad smile. "And it turned his fear of being buried alive from just something he preferred not to think about into a major issue for him. He was OK down there while he had the others to worry about, to boost him – particularly Gayle, with her telempathic powers – but once it was just him and an unconscious kid, it was all too easy for him to imagine the worst."
"I still don't understand how he of all people can be frightened of something like that," he mused, adding a surprised, "What?" when he was greeted by a fierce glare. "All he has to do is phase himself out of trouble!"
"But that only works if he can walk or drop down through something that has space on the other side," she said forcefully. "Being buried tends to involve having a load of stuff on top of you and, as far as I know, Jesse hasn't learned the art of self-levitation, any more than he's learned how to swim!"
"Well... OK, I'll give you that," Brennan agreed, expression thoughtful.
"He's had to work really hard to overcome his fear of being shut in small spaces, though," Shalimar continued. "If he'd let it take over, he'd have been no use to us or himself. And I don't think he could have lived with that."
"Well, I guess it kind of explains why he seems to get so spooked by the idea of phasing through anything thicker than a few of feet, then."
"Does he? Still?" She looked at him as if this was news to her, which he found pleasing for some reason he didn't want to examine too closely.
"Only when he thinks he might take one of us with him if he chokes halfway through," he shrugged, watching her turn away again to absorb his words...
... "He only visited Joshua a couple of times before we moved him to the nursing home," Adam concluded. "I think he was torn between wanting to carry on what he'd started in there and needing to just forget the whole experience – and ended up doing neither, really."
"Understandable in the circumstances," Emma acknowledged. "And I can see why you feel there's likely to be a connection between them. Though... you have no idea how the coma will have affected Joshua or his powers. He might have no memory of what happened, let alone the people involved."
"Well, we'll find out soon enough, won't we? I think we're there." He pointed through the forward window, and she followed his gesture to see what had to be their destination nestling in the hills ahead...
... "And I can't believe I just told you all that..." Shalimar smiled somewhat self-consciously up at Brennan.
"Ah, but do you feel better for it?" he asked, returning the smile.
She considered the question for a moment, before nodding back. "Yes, actually, I think I do." She reached a hand to squeeze his arm. "Thanks, you." And then, with a sly grin, she said, "So, whatcha waiting for? Last one to the trees cleans the kitchen for a month!" And she was off and running, leaving him cursing in her wake.
**
Silence.
Then, whispered, "They're here."
More silence.
"Oh my! Joshua, it looks like we have visitors. Now, how on earth did they get here? Do you see a car?" A pause. "Oh! You're looking very flushed, dear – are you all right? Do you want to lie down?"
"No! No... I'm fine. Just fine."
"Well, if you're sure. I'd better go and see what they want."
Softly, to the empty room, "Me..."
****