Disclaimer: I don't own anything except the stupid shrink. But once Ron
goes up on Ebay, I will own him too!!! Muhahahahaha!
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Chapter 3: Ron's Session
After a few minutes, Mrs. Bates opened the door again and said, "Ronald, I believe it's your turn."
Ron got up and started to walk into the office. Hermione quickly got up from where she was and started to walk toward the office. She had her mouth open and was about to say something.
"Stay back!" Mrs. Bates yelled with wide eyes, holding up her hand. She quickly closed the door, and rested her back against it, breathing heavily like she had just been chased by a heard of rinos.
Ron looked at Mrs. Bates strangely. She quickly composed herself, smoothed out her hair, and sat down in front of Ron.
"Now," She said, smoothing out her skirt and grabbing her quill and parchment. "How is school going?"
"Don't try to fool me, I know your sick ways." Ron said, crossing his arms over his chest and sitting back in his chair.
"I'm afraid I don't understand." Mrs. Bates said innocently.
"Don't try your mind tricks on me." Ron said smartly. "I'm not getting sucked into your little psycho world."
"Ronald," Mrs. Bates said gently, looking at him intently. "Is there something wrong?"
"No!" Ron said defensively. Mrs. Bates said some 'Uh huh's and 'interesting's as she wrote more down on her parchment.
"What are you writing?" Ron asked, trying to see the parchment, but Mrs. Bates quickly flipped it over. "I'm the patient, you're writing stuff about me so I should see it. You shouldn't keep stuff from the patient, it could weaken our already poor relationship." Ron said this all very quickly.
"I've been pondering the theory that you might have some sort of phobia." Mrs. Bates said knowingly, narrowing her eyes.
"Don't use big word to confuse me!" Ron said angrily. "Once Hermione explains to me what you just said, I'm going to kick your ass for whatever the hell that meant!"
"You seem very unwilling to let down you guard." Mrs. Bates observed quietly, completely unaffected by Ron's outburst.
"Well, I have to be, with five brothers and all." Ron said, softening his voice a little.
"That must have been very hard." She said.
"Yeah, it was." Ron said like he had just discovered it himself. "I guess it all started when Fred turned my teddy into a spider."
A half hour later, Ron had poured his heart out, and Mrs. Bates seemed bored to the point of suicide. Luckily, there weren't any sharp objects in the room. Ron was laying in the chair, his head was on one of the arm rests, and his legs were hanging off of the other. Mrs. Bates was slouched down in her chair, trying not to fall asleep.
".and I haven't been able to look a monkey in the face since." Ron sighed, finishing his hundredth story about his childhood. "And that about covers preschool."
"Uh huh." Mrs. Bates said dully, rolling her eyes when Ron wasn't looking.
"Now, my first day of kindergarten was very traumatic." Ron started, but Mrs. Bates cut him off.
"Why don't we fast forward to the present." Mrs. Bates said unenthusiastically, not even bothering to write something down.
"Well, the only thing that has happened to my this year is discover that I'm in love with Hermione." Ron said casually, like he was discussing finding a penny on the street.
"Really?" Mrs. Bates asked, sitting up in her chair.
"Yeah." Ron said.
"And you only discovered that this year?" She asked excitedly.
"Yeah, I found out my love for her about the time I found out that Harry has a tail." Ron said casually, shrugging his shoulders.
Mrs. Bates sat there, her mouth hanging open, for a few moments. Then, pulling herself together she said, "Now, is this tail a side effect from the drugs that Mr. Potter takes?" Ron looked at her oddly. "Or does he just sell them?"
Ron was about to ask her what the hell she was talking about when Mrs. Bates said, "Oh, time's up." She pushed Ron out of the door as he tried to tell her how emotionally scaring it was for him when he went to the zoo and could have sworn that the hyenas were laughing at him.
"You three can just go back to your common room." Mrs. Bates said to Hermione, Ron, and Harry. "I just have to write a report on this session for Dumbledore." Just when Hermione was about to protest to having feelings for Ron, Harry was about to say that he was having a special sale on crack, and Ron was about to talk about how his father use to call him girl names, Mrs. Bates slammed the door in their faces. She sighed loudly and walked over to a desk to write the report. It said;
Harry Potter: A quiet boy who often deals drugs to young students. He has trouble being serious and protests strongly to being labeled gay. Over all I'd say that he has many insecurities. One of the main ones is, of course, that he has a tail.
Hermione Granger: Objects to the suggestion that she and Mr. Weasley have feeling for each other, but it became clear to me that her feelings were strong when she couldn't remember her boyfriends name. Overall, she is extremely annoying and I suggest that she be hospitalized and have her head examined.
Ronald Weasley: He seemed very unwilling to open up.at first. I got a very vivid picture of his childhood.almost too vivid, really. He is in love with Hermione Granger, and confirmed that Mr. Potter does indeed have a tail. I suggest that he has his mouth surgically closed so that no other human has to endure the same hell that I went through.
Overall; they are all completely mad and need more professional help then I can give. Please sent them to the loony bin for the better good of the entire world. But before you send Harry there, please ask him to send me some cocaine. for no use of my own, of course.
Sincerely,
Patty Bates
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A/N: That's it. If it sucks, too bad. It took me three seconds to write, so there. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!! Thankz!
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Chapter 3: Ron's Session
After a few minutes, Mrs. Bates opened the door again and said, "Ronald, I believe it's your turn."
Ron got up and started to walk into the office. Hermione quickly got up from where she was and started to walk toward the office. She had her mouth open and was about to say something.
"Stay back!" Mrs. Bates yelled with wide eyes, holding up her hand. She quickly closed the door, and rested her back against it, breathing heavily like she had just been chased by a heard of rinos.
Ron looked at Mrs. Bates strangely. She quickly composed herself, smoothed out her hair, and sat down in front of Ron.
"Now," She said, smoothing out her skirt and grabbing her quill and parchment. "How is school going?"
"Don't try to fool me, I know your sick ways." Ron said, crossing his arms over his chest and sitting back in his chair.
"I'm afraid I don't understand." Mrs. Bates said innocently.
"Don't try your mind tricks on me." Ron said smartly. "I'm not getting sucked into your little psycho world."
"Ronald," Mrs. Bates said gently, looking at him intently. "Is there something wrong?"
"No!" Ron said defensively. Mrs. Bates said some 'Uh huh's and 'interesting's as she wrote more down on her parchment.
"What are you writing?" Ron asked, trying to see the parchment, but Mrs. Bates quickly flipped it over. "I'm the patient, you're writing stuff about me so I should see it. You shouldn't keep stuff from the patient, it could weaken our already poor relationship." Ron said this all very quickly.
"I've been pondering the theory that you might have some sort of phobia." Mrs. Bates said knowingly, narrowing her eyes.
"Don't use big word to confuse me!" Ron said angrily. "Once Hermione explains to me what you just said, I'm going to kick your ass for whatever the hell that meant!"
"You seem very unwilling to let down you guard." Mrs. Bates observed quietly, completely unaffected by Ron's outburst.
"Well, I have to be, with five brothers and all." Ron said, softening his voice a little.
"That must have been very hard." She said.
"Yeah, it was." Ron said like he had just discovered it himself. "I guess it all started when Fred turned my teddy into a spider."
A half hour later, Ron had poured his heart out, and Mrs. Bates seemed bored to the point of suicide. Luckily, there weren't any sharp objects in the room. Ron was laying in the chair, his head was on one of the arm rests, and his legs were hanging off of the other. Mrs. Bates was slouched down in her chair, trying not to fall asleep.
".and I haven't been able to look a monkey in the face since." Ron sighed, finishing his hundredth story about his childhood. "And that about covers preschool."
"Uh huh." Mrs. Bates said dully, rolling her eyes when Ron wasn't looking.
"Now, my first day of kindergarten was very traumatic." Ron started, but Mrs. Bates cut him off.
"Why don't we fast forward to the present." Mrs. Bates said unenthusiastically, not even bothering to write something down.
"Well, the only thing that has happened to my this year is discover that I'm in love with Hermione." Ron said casually, like he was discussing finding a penny on the street.
"Really?" Mrs. Bates asked, sitting up in her chair.
"Yeah." Ron said.
"And you only discovered that this year?" She asked excitedly.
"Yeah, I found out my love for her about the time I found out that Harry has a tail." Ron said casually, shrugging his shoulders.
Mrs. Bates sat there, her mouth hanging open, for a few moments. Then, pulling herself together she said, "Now, is this tail a side effect from the drugs that Mr. Potter takes?" Ron looked at her oddly. "Or does he just sell them?"
Ron was about to ask her what the hell she was talking about when Mrs. Bates said, "Oh, time's up." She pushed Ron out of the door as he tried to tell her how emotionally scaring it was for him when he went to the zoo and could have sworn that the hyenas were laughing at him.
"You three can just go back to your common room." Mrs. Bates said to Hermione, Ron, and Harry. "I just have to write a report on this session for Dumbledore." Just when Hermione was about to protest to having feelings for Ron, Harry was about to say that he was having a special sale on crack, and Ron was about to talk about how his father use to call him girl names, Mrs. Bates slammed the door in their faces. She sighed loudly and walked over to a desk to write the report. It said;
Harry Potter: A quiet boy who often deals drugs to young students. He has trouble being serious and protests strongly to being labeled gay. Over all I'd say that he has many insecurities. One of the main ones is, of course, that he has a tail.
Hermione Granger: Objects to the suggestion that she and Mr. Weasley have feeling for each other, but it became clear to me that her feelings were strong when she couldn't remember her boyfriends name. Overall, she is extremely annoying and I suggest that she be hospitalized and have her head examined.
Ronald Weasley: He seemed very unwilling to open up.at first. I got a very vivid picture of his childhood.almost too vivid, really. He is in love with Hermione Granger, and confirmed that Mr. Potter does indeed have a tail. I suggest that he has his mouth surgically closed so that no other human has to endure the same hell that I went through.
Overall; they are all completely mad and need more professional help then I can give. Please sent them to the loony bin for the better good of the entire world. But before you send Harry there, please ask him to send me some cocaine. for no use of my own, of course.
Sincerely,
Patty Bates
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A/N: That's it. If it sucks, too bad. It took me three seconds to write, so there. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!! Thankz!