Spot was walking through the crowded streets of Brooklyn, shouting
headlines, selling newspapers. He was almost done.
(Jack and David let Spot borrow Les for the morning; to "crumb" for him.)
Les was selling in front of a theatrical bar.
"Time I'se got Les an' headed for Manhattan" Spot
thought as he walked. It was poker night, he didn't like poker too much;
not since Tricks left. Tricks was the only guy that really challenged him.
Sure Jack and Race were okay, but Tricks was hard to beat.
"But Tricks is gone," Spot sold his last paper "course I'd kinda wanted ta
see that half nak- What am I sayin'? Whats da mattah wid me?! I'se Da Great
Spot Conlon!
Leader O' Brooklyn! I don't need no best pal !-just a goil- an' I ain't
gonna do nutin' stupid ta get 'im back either."
~*~*~*~
"Hey kid I'll give ya a quartah' if you'll drink dis cup of beer!" yelled a man "I'll give ya four bits!" cried an other. Les ran to the man with four bits, gave him a pape, and then drank his cup of beer. The man handed him the money and laughed. Then Les went out side where a second later Spot found him. The two started out for Manhattan. "You smell of beer." Spot commented. "Yeah, a guy bet me I wouldn't drink some." replied Les. "Heck, for four bits I'd drink a cup." "Well your a different story. Your not cute an' little like me. Watching you drink beer would be like them watching them-selves drink, ya-know what I mean." "You sayin' I ain't cute?" asked Spot raising his voice a little. " Well your okay. Your not my type, I prefer girls. -No offence- Your nice I guess, but your not a little hottie like me-." "Get outta me sight ya doity rotten lil' pimple!" Spot yelled at the rambling little Les. As quick as a flash, Spot pulled out his sling-shot and started pelting marbles at Les. And Les, like any sensible person, ran his little rear off. He ran all the way from the Brooklyn bridge to Tibby's, (which was a good forty minutes away) to tell the 'BIG' boys what Spot did.
~*~*~*~
The door of Tibby's opened, and Snipeshooter slammed his bottle of whiskey on the table. It was only Les. Les ran in right up to Snipeshooter coughing and wheezing. "Here Les take a swig 'er two a dis it'll make ya stop dat noise, an' put some hair on youse chest." Les took the bottle and drank about three gulps and on the fourth he sputtered and wiped his mouth on his sleeve. "Ugh,(spit) Yuck! What is that! Snipes it's disgusting!" "Whiskey." Was all he got for an answer. Snipeshooter was looking at the half empty bottle of whiskey. After Snipshooter finished the rest of the bottle he started talking(more like mumbling) to Les. "What's da mattah kid?" he asked. "Huh? Oh, Spot was trying to kill me with marbles," Les started "an' I had to run all the way here from Brooklyn, to tell Ja-" "Well don't b-b-b bother me wit youse prod-prob- problems, go t-tell youse mutter! I ain't youse problem dump, dangit I'se youse wife!" When Snipeshooter said this, it scared the poop out of Les and he took off running, again. He ran all the way to Greedly Square, there he slowed to a walk. He was hot, sweaty, and tired. Les sat down on the side walk, he felt weird.(probably because he was.) He put his hand on his chest and found it was soft, almost like fur. Les suddenly jumped up and looked down his shirt. HAIR! " AAAAAHHHHHHHH- No! I can't grow hair on my chest I'm too young to grow hair on my chest! I'm not allowed to." he shrieked unbelievingly. He looked like a pot-belled Dwarf. (a taller Dwarf) " AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Les ran away, yet again screaming in terror. He ran through rivers, lakes, and oceans, and over some mountains, all the way to Hawaii. And there someone found him and put him in a freak-side show. (that man made millions of dollars and he changed his name to Mr. Adams and maked Les his cousin IT.) When Les finally died Evolutionists found his body and used him as a missing link but now you know the truth. "And I sewed the underwear to his butt. It was an accident," Sarah was rambling as usual. "And he gave me fifty-dollars just to leave." " That's nice dear." Answerd Mr. Jacobs. He wasn't really listening to her, he wass wandering what was for dinner. Jack rolled his eyes in disgust. (He was over for dinner) He was tierd of Sarah and her underwear mending stories. She was only trying to impress him, but she was failing miserably.
(Jack 'dumped' Sarah after he found out she was a TRUE blonde)
" She can't impress nobody 'cept Snoddy 'an he's dumb in a stupidly idiotic way." Jack stood up quietly, and nonchalantly pulled David into the kitchen. "Quick Davey do sumtin' ta shut 'er up, will ya?! She's drivin me nuts!" David smiled wickedly and said, "I'll get the knife." And I'll get da plates." replied Jack. "What for?" "I don't know I aint da one writin' dis story! Just get da knife." "Right" Mayor and Easter Jacobs watched in eager silence as their eldest son lifted the butchers knife higher and higher above Sarah's head. Jack was smiling thinking of that which was to come. (Les if you remember ran away.) Easter thought of telling David to put the knife away, she kind of liked Sarah. Not a lot mind you, but a itsy-witsy-bitsy, teensy-weensy little bit. But then she thought, "What the heck I haven't seen some action for a long time." So she kept quiet. David swung and Sarah's head rolled off onto the floor. Then David cut, and chopped, and stomped, an' loped all the rest of her body. (Including the head) Then they boild her minced body and ate it for dinner. Well that's what Jack hoped would happen. But what really happened was. David swung and missed. Sarah sprang up in the 'nick of time. "Oh! I forgot to tell you I have a date with Snoddy. And I'm late so, bye!" And with that she left. The knife went throught the chair and into the floor. It went in so deep that they never got the knife out, and it is still there t this very day. TO remind us that David misses, and Sarah lived. ~*~*~*~ Sarah met Snoddy at the Irving hall, and there he swept her off her feet and, carried her to Antarctica. There they both got abducted by Aliens whom, transformed them into wooly mammoths. They became the 'Adam and Eve' of the wooly mammoths. Sarah and Snoddy froze right next to each other. That was the end of Sarah. But, if ever you want to see them, just look for the two biggest mammoths. You should know Sarah right away, she's the only mammoth with a Bo-Peep dress in her stomach.
~*~*~*~
"Hey kid I'll give ya a quartah' if you'll drink dis cup of beer!" yelled a man "I'll give ya four bits!" cried an other. Les ran to the man with four bits, gave him a pape, and then drank his cup of beer. The man handed him the money and laughed. Then Les went out side where a second later Spot found him. The two started out for Manhattan. "You smell of beer." Spot commented. "Yeah, a guy bet me I wouldn't drink some." replied Les. "Heck, for four bits I'd drink a cup." "Well your a different story. Your not cute an' little like me. Watching you drink beer would be like them watching them-selves drink, ya-know what I mean." "You sayin' I ain't cute?" asked Spot raising his voice a little. " Well your okay. Your not my type, I prefer girls. -No offence- Your nice I guess, but your not a little hottie like me-." "Get outta me sight ya doity rotten lil' pimple!" Spot yelled at the rambling little Les. As quick as a flash, Spot pulled out his sling-shot and started pelting marbles at Les. And Les, like any sensible person, ran his little rear off. He ran all the way from the Brooklyn bridge to Tibby's, (which was a good forty minutes away) to tell the 'BIG' boys what Spot did.
~*~*~*~
The door of Tibby's opened, and Snipeshooter slammed his bottle of whiskey on the table. It was only Les. Les ran in right up to Snipeshooter coughing and wheezing. "Here Les take a swig 'er two a dis it'll make ya stop dat noise, an' put some hair on youse chest." Les took the bottle and drank about three gulps and on the fourth he sputtered and wiped his mouth on his sleeve. "Ugh,(spit) Yuck! What is that! Snipes it's disgusting!" "Whiskey." Was all he got for an answer. Snipeshooter was looking at the half empty bottle of whiskey. After Snipshooter finished the rest of the bottle he started talking(more like mumbling) to Les. "What's da mattah kid?" he asked. "Huh? Oh, Spot was trying to kill me with marbles," Les started "an' I had to run all the way here from Brooklyn, to tell Ja-" "Well don't b-b-b bother me wit youse prod-prob- problems, go t-tell youse mutter! I ain't youse problem dump, dangit I'se youse wife!" When Snipeshooter said this, it scared the poop out of Les and he took off running, again. He ran all the way to Greedly Square, there he slowed to a walk. He was hot, sweaty, and tired. Les sat down on the side walk, he felt weird.(probably because he was.) He put his hand on his chest and found it was soft, almost like fur. Les suddenly jumped up and looked down his shirt. HAIR! " AAAAAHHHHHHHH- No! I can't grow hair on my chest I'm too young to grow hair on my chest! I'm not allowed to." he shrieked unbelievingly. He looked like a pot-belled Dwarf. (a taller Dwarf) " AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Les ran away, yet again screaming in terror. He ran through rivers, lakes, and oceans, and over some mountains, all the way to Hawaii. And there someone found him and put him in a freak-side show. (that man made millions of dollars and he changed his name to Mr. Adams and maked Les his cousin IT.) When Les finally died Evolutionists found his body and used him as a missing link but now you know the truth. "And I sewed the underwear to his butt. It was an accident," Sarah was rambling as usual. "And he gave me fifty-dollars just to leave." " That's nice dear." Answerd Mr. Jacobs. He wasn't really listening to her, he wass wandering what was for dinner. Jack rolled his eyes in disgust. (He was over for dinner) He was tierd of Sarah and her underwear mending stories. She was only trying to impress him, but she was failing miserably.
(Jack 'dumped' Sarah after he found out she was a TRUE blonde)
" She can't impress nobody 'cept Snoddy 'an he's dumb in a stupidly idiotic way." Jack stood up quietly, and nonchalantly pulled David into the kitchen. "Quick Davey do sumtin' ta shut 'er up, will ya?! She's drivin me nuts!" David smiled wickedly and said, "I'll get the knife." And I'll get da plates." replied Jack. "What for?" "I don't know I aint da one writin' dis story! Just get da knife." "Right" Mayor and Easter Jacobs watched in eager silence as their eldest son lifted the butchers knife higher and higher above Sarah's head. Jack was smiling thinking of that which was to come. (Les if you remember ran away.) Easter thought of telling David to put the knife away, she kind of liked Sarah. Not a lot mind you, but a itsy-witsy-bitsy, teensy-weensy little bit. But then she thought, "What the heck I haven't seen some action for a long time." So she kept quiet. David swung and Sarah's head rolled off onto the floor. Then David cut, and chopped, and stomped, an' loped all the rest of her body. (Including the head) Then they boild her minced body and ate it for dinner. Well that's what Jack hoped would happen. But what really happened was. David swung and missed. Sarah sprang up in the 'nick of time. "Oh! I forgot to tell you I have a date with Snoddy. And I'm late so, bye!" And with that she left. The knife went throught the chair and into the floor. It went in so deep that they never got the knife out, and it is still there t this very day. TO remind us that David misses, and Sarah lived. ~*~*~*~ Sarah met Snoddy at the Irving hall, and there he swept her off her feet and, carried her to Antarctica. There they both got abducted by Aliens whom, transformed them into wooly mammoths. They became the 'Adam and Eve' of the wooly mammoths. Sarah and Snoddy froze right next to each other. That was the end of Sarah. But, if ever you want to see them, just look for the two biggest mammoths. You should know Sarah right away, she's the only mammoth with a Bo-Peep dress in her stomach.