MeliFlames gave me the idea to have Dumbledore have a session of therapy,
because he obviously needs it. So thank you MeliFlames! Here it is! Enjoy!
Disclaimer: The only thing in this whole story that I own is Mrs. Bates. My life is sad.
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Chapter 5: Dumbledore's Session
Mrs. Bates was just packing up her briefcase, when the door opened again.
"Oh, hello Albus." Mrs. Bates said, shuffling a couple of papers.
"Do you think, that you might have time for one more session?" Dumbledore asked.
"For who?" Mrs. Bates asked, grabbing her quill and parchment.
"Me." Dumbledore said with a smile. Mrs. Bates looked at him strangely so he said, "Mr. Potter said that you were absolutely mad, so I decided to find out for myself."
"Very well..." Mrs. Bates said, reluctantly sitting down in her chair. Dumbledore walked up to the chair he was suppose to sit in. He pulled out his wand, muttered a few words, and changed the chair into a couch. He laid on it, and made himself comfortable.
"So, Dumbledore," Mrs. Bates said kindly. "Did you ever fight with your father?"
"Oh, no." Dumbledore said honestly. "I don't like to fight with monkeys."
"Pardon?" Mrs. Bates asked, completely lost.
"Well, I did one time." Dumbledore said, ignoring Mrs. Bates' question. "But that was because he threw a banana at me."
"Your father threw a banana at you?" She asked, trying to get everything straight.
"No, the monkey did." Dumbledore laughed. "Or was it a trashcan?" He asked himself thoughtfully. "Either way, I haven't been able to have sex since."
Mrs. Bates cringed at this statement. "Let's not touch that topic just yet." Mrs. Bates said with a forced laugh. Or ever. She thought with disgust.
"What would you like to talk about then?" Dumbledore asked nicely. Mrs. Bates had just opened her mouth when Dumbledore said, "Did you know that I only have one testical?"
"Oh, really?" Mrs. Bates asked, wanting to run out of the room that very second. "How..... interesting." She lied.
"I've always thought so." Dumbledore said with a smile. "But whenever I try and show it to the facility, they run screaming out of the room before I can pull my pants down all the way."
"Okay!" Mrs. Bates said in a forced/happy voice. "I think that times up!"
"The priest of my church was always interested in seeing my one testical." Dubledore said thoughtfully. "I was an alter server there." He told Mrs. Bates with a smile.
Mrs. Bates quickly got up from her seat and screamed, "TIME'S UP!" Dumbledore was still talking about how he wore a bra when he was in highschool, and didn't seem like he was going to move anytime soon. So Mrs. Bates, a gleam of insanity in her eyes, pushed Dumbledore's couch out the door and into the hallway. She quickly slammed the door.
Mrs. Bates quickly walked over to a desk, and started writing a letter.
Dear Professor McGonagall,
As you are probably already aware, Dumbledore is completely crazy and scares the living daylights out of me. I advise that he be killed, but that's just a suggestion.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Bates
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A/N: Sorry it's so short! I didn't know what else to do, Dumbledore's already crazy. REVIEW! Thanx!
Disclaimer: The only thing in this whole story that I own is Mrs. Bates. My life is sad.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 5: Dumbledore's Session
Mrs. Bates was just packing up her briefcase, when the door opened again.
"Oh, hello Albus." Mrs. Bates said, shuffling a couple of papers.
"Do you think, that you might have time for one more session?" Dumbledore asked.
"For who?" Mrs. Bates asked, grabbing her quill and parchment.
"Me." Dumbledore said with a smile. Mrs. Bates looked at him strangely so he said, "Mr. Potter said that you were absolutely mad, so I decided to find out for myself."
"Very well..." Mrs. Bates said, reluctantly sitting down in her chair. Dumbledore walked up to the chair he was suppose to sit in. He pulled out his wand, muttered a few words, and changed the chair into a couch. He laid on it, and made himself comfortable.
"So, Dumbledore," Mrs. Bates said kindly. "Did you ever fight with your father?"
"Oh, no." Dumbledore said honestly. "I don't like to fight with monkeys."
"Pardon?" Mrs. Bates asked, completely lost.
"Well, I did one time." Dumbledore said, ignoring Mrs. Bates' question. "But that was because he threw a banana at me."
"Your father threw a banana at you?" She asked, trying to get everything straight.
"No, the monkey did." Dumbledore laughed. "Or was it a trashcan?" He asked himself thoughtfully. "Either way, I haven't been able to have sex since."
Mrs. Bates cringed at this statement. "Let's not touch that topic just yet." Mrs. Bates said with a forced laugh. Or ever. She thought with disgust.
"What would you like to talk about then?" Dumbledore asked nicely. Mrs. Bates had just opened her mouth when Dumbledore said, "Did you know that I only have one testical?"
"Oh, really?" Mrs. Bates asked, wanting to run out of the room that very second. "How..... interesting." She lied.
"I've always thought so." Dumbledore said with a smile. "But whenever I try and show it to the facility, they run screaming out of the room before I can pull my pants down all the way."
"Okay!" Mrs. Bates said in a forced/happy voice. "I think that times up!"
"The priest of my church was always interested in seeing my one testical." Dubledore said thoughtfully. "I was an alter server there." He told Mrs. Bates with a smile.
Mrs. Bates quickly got up from her seat and screamed, "TIME'S UP!" Dumbledore was still talking about how he wore a bra when he was in highschool, and didn't seem like he was going to move anytime soon. So Mrs. Bates, a gleam of insanity in her eyes, pushed Dumbledore's couch out the door and into the hallway. She quickly slammed the door.
Mrs. Bates quickly walked over to a desk, and started writing a letter.
Dear Professor McGonagall,
As you are probably already aware, Dumbledore is completely crazy and scares the living daylights out of me. I advise that he be killed, but that's just a suggestion.
Sincerely,
Mrs. Bates
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: Sorry it's so short! I didn't know what else to do, Dumbledore's already crazy. REVIEW! Thanx!