When Bad Guys Play by the Rules
But only when it suits them of course
By: Tornadobuster, a freshly made, well-done, over-the-loop Lord of the Rings fan.
Except for that last bit, with the cliffhanger.
THEY KILLED OFF MY FAVORITE CHARACTER ALREADY! DAAAAAA-arn!
*sighs and perks up* But my second favorite character's still alive... for now...
I don't own DBZ. I don't own DBZ. I don't own DBZ. I don't own DBZ. I don't own DBZ. I don't own DBZ.
I don't own DBZ. I don't own DBZ. I don't own DBZ. I don't own DBZ. Okay that should it. Oh, but I DO own Mz. Icy, aaaaaaaand that's about it.
I was watching the Midnight Ev-el... thing, on Cartoon Network (yes, I admit it! That's how I watch DBZ! ::cries::) Yes, anyway, during this little thing, they showed 2 Buu episodes, 1 Cell episode, and 1 Raditz episode. The Buu episodes I ignored, I've seen them before, and I really don't care for large pink villians. With the Cell episode I watched with great interest, since almost ALL of my favorites showed up there, and I *cough* really should put Cell into character... *coughcough* Aaaand with the Raditz episode I basically laughed myself into the New year, at the idiotic lines Funimation decided to put into the character's mouths.
.......................................................................................................................................................................................
I also wrote down a few lines I thought were fairly funny... yeah, one of those *they would never say THAT* things...
Vegeta: [Cell saga, during the match between Goku and Cell] What is the secret of Kakkoratt's power?!!
Passing faerie: Juice, lot's of juice...
Piccolo: *to Goku during the Raditz episode* You sly dog you...
Raditz: -real line- *to Gohan after Gohan headbutted him* You just knocked the stuffin' out of your old Uncle Raditz!
Goku: -real line- *Goku captures Raditz for the second time* Now you see it doesn't pay to tell a lie!
Raditz: -not real- Yeah it does, you let me loose!
Goku: -not real- Yeah well, it doesn't pay to tell TWO lies!
Yeah, NOW we're at the real story...
.......................................................................................................................................................................................
Mz. Icy neatly tore out a section of paper from her three-ringed binder and threw the rest of it to the floor. She studied the torn-out section with tender care, a look of curiousity spreading across her face. She then giggled as she pulled out a lighter from the ash which had, at one point in it's ill-begotten life, been a desk.
Mz. Icy held the section of paper only inches above the lighter, enough she hoped, to make it lick the flame. She giggled again, no small trace of insanity, as she slowly opened the lighter, about to pass judgment on the papers which had plagued her for so long, she clicked the sparker once, then twice, then-
BOOM!
Mz. Icy looked up in surprise at the sudden interruption, as the remaining roof above her office suddenly collapsed in an explosion of plaster and roofing. She saw clearly what was about to hit her, exactly .27 seconds before it actually hit her. Mz. Icy was suddenly smacked to the ground by the sudden load of weight, the wind, effectively, knocked from her.
"Well, that was easy enough," a masculine voice spoke from above her.
"It wasn't as if he was TRYING to cover his trail, idiot," another voice snorted, with an odd australian accent that just seemed VERY misplaced.
"I JUST said it was EASY!" the first, somewhat more masculine voice yelled aggravently.
"Well, aren't YOU the appointed speaker of the obvious!" the second, somewhat less masculine voice yelled back, still with that same, strange australian accent.
"Oh shut up both of you! You people act so CHILDISHLY you ought to STAY here! You'd fit right IN!" another voice snapped, oddly feminine. "Why in H.E.L.L. do I let you even LIVE??! I ought to blast the lot of you!"
Silence.
"But I thought we were dead," another voice piped up.
The weight on Mz. Icy's back shifted, pushing her further into the cracked cement floor, and a ki blast could be heard making impact on something, of which Mz. Icy could only assume to be the idiotic fourth person to speak up.
A low groan could be heard.
"Hey! Guldo might be a fat, pea-green, over-eyeballed weakling, but even HE didn't deserve that!" the oddly australian voice cried out in protest.
"Hey, I'm not exactly the happiest ex-supervillian over here right now, do you really want to push your luck?" the oddly feminine voice growled.
"...Um... no," the odd australian voice gulped, as the person seemingly backed away over the broken ceiling pieces.
Mz. Icy groaned.
"Good, now let's just get Cell and maybe his brats, and get out of here," the rather feminine voice growled. It seemed oddly familiar to Mz. Icy now that she thought about it...
"But where IS Cell?" the fourth voice asked painfully as Mz. Icy felt him getting up, on her back.
"Idiot," the first voice snorted, "just follow the explosions." Mz. Icy could only imagine the gesture towards the recently added door to the nursury.
"Don't call ME an idiot, I didn't flunk MY KAT scan!" the fourth voice retorted angrily.
"I TOLD you they made a mistake!" the first voice shouted angrily.
"They RE-checked it and you STILL flunked it!" the fourth voice yelled.
"Well can I HELP it if that place is full of ameuturs?!"
"And THEN you blew the building up!" the australian-accented voice added.
"SHUT UP! THEY DESERVED IT!" the first voice screamed.
"Oh SHUT UP all of you! We don't have time for this!" the feminine voice shouted harshly, "Now come on before I kill you all!"
"Yes Lord Frieza," the other members of the group responded immediately, Mz. Icy felt the weight on her back lift lift off and she sighed in relief.
Then she realized WHY that oddly feminine voice seemed so familiar.
Burter suddenly sighed.
"What's wrong?" Jeice asked as he noticed his teammate's unhappiness.
"I'm still hungry," Burter told him as his stomach growled.
Suddenly the floor was blasted apart.
"Hm?" Frieza mumbled as he glanced back in notice of the sudden explosion. He casually turned back and shrugged, proceeding then-
-to do a double take and gasp in shock.
Mz. Icy growled as she exploded from the rubble, a substantial glow at her back, casting her face and body in dark shadow. Except for her eyes which glowed an evil red. She turned her head towards the shocked Frieza and raised a shadow casted arm at him, pointed a well-trimmed nail, which at the moment was much more claw-like then anything. "You," she growled, sounding more like a beast then an ice-jin.
Frieza gasped fearfully as he backed up a step. "It-It can't be!" he managed to whimper.
Mz. Icy's eyes narrowed as her stretched out hand became a fist, pulling it back to her chest. "You..." she growled again as she stared down at her fist. Light from her backdrop then caught onto her glasses and giving them a bright glare. There was a momentary pause before the backdrop of light suddenly fell away and hence, the dramatic shadow which covered Mz. Icy. Mz Icy looked up with a blatant hateful look on her face. "I ought to KILL YOU!" she suddenly screamed before she shot towards Frieza with an open fist.
Frieza squawked as Mz. Icy sped towards him, reaching him in a blink of an eye, not that Frieza actually took the time to blink as Mz. Icy suddenly planted her fist into his china-like face. Frieza dropped to the ground in tornado-warning like manner with his hands over his head. Unfortunately it did not abate Mz. Icy's brash attack on his poor back.
"DIE! DIE! DIE!" Mz. Icy screeched as she continued to try and beat Frieza into oblivion.
"GET HER OF ME! GET HER OFF ME! GET HER OFF ME!" Frieza also screeched to the dumbfounded Ginyu Force.
A shocked Jeice turned to an equally shocked Burter with a questionate look on his face. Burter blinked and turned to Jeice, also quite confused. Jeice blinked and cocked his head to a side, raising a bleached eyebrow. Burter shrugged.
Burter and Jeice walked over to the more-than-subdued Frieza and the more-than-enraged Mz. Icy, and casually pulled her off the already battle-scarred ex-supervillian. They backed off a few feet and restrained her, barely.
"LET ME GO, HE ISN'T DEAD YET! I GOTTA KIIILL HIM!"Mz. Icy shrieked in consuming anger as she thrashed against her restrainers. "HE'S NOT DEEEAAD!!!"
Frieza gasped for air as he struggled to get up, his face, if possible, even whiter then it had been before. Obviously shaken, he looked wide-eyed at the very pissed-off Mz. Icy and the rather confused Ginyu Force.
"Um, Frieza-" Guldo hesitated as he walked up to his former commander, scratching his head and having an AWFULLY confused look on his face.
"Just KEEP her AWAY from me! DON'T let her GO!" Frieza squawked with a very panicked voice, obviously ready to jump out of his skin at a pindrop.
"How can you have the GALL to come around HERE, you NO-ACCOUNT GAY, FREAKISH, NO-EXCUSEDISGUSTING-TREYGISHJEKSOAVWYCILTIM-" she started to scream, passing from normal Basic into her own ice-jin language, which only posed to show how truly aggravated Mz. Icy really was.
And from the look on Frieza it obviously wasn't anything worth translation. Frieza's face suddenly went from one of the highest level of fear, to one of ferocious anger. "How dare you call me that-that NAME!" Frieza yelled angrily.
"Oh, don't you DARE command me! Don't you DARE! I swear if you didn't have to be DEAD to be down here, I'd KILL YOU!" Mz. Icy yelled, her shock subsiding, her anger however, not.
"Um, Frieza... how do you, um, KNOW this person?" Jeice asked hesitently, gesturing towards the seething Mz. Icy with a nudge of his head, arms full just trying to hold on to her.
"Oh, so even your BUDDY here doesn't know? You don't even bother to tell your FRIENDS about me anymore??!" Mz. Icy screamed.
"Well,uh-" Frieza coughed as he scratched his head.
"Oh SURE! Just BURY me 6 FEET DEEP, and try to FORGET ABOUT ME, ISN'T THAT RIGHT??!" Mz. Icy screamed, some of her adrenaline-caused fury starting to return.
"Excuse me, but HOW do you two KNOW each other??" Jeice repeated, straining to be heard over Mz. Frieza ear-split ranting.
"You want to know HOW? HOW we know each other? How about it dear Frieza? Should I TELL him??" Mz. Icy asked, smiling bitterly, a prominent tick finding its way to her eye. "SHOULD I??!" Mz. Icy waited a moment before going on. "Alright, I WILL tell him. Yeah, I'll tell you how I KNOW this piece of TRASH, I'll tell ya. He's my HUSBAND!!!"
"Say, you think we oughtta' check what's going on in Mz. Icy's office? It sounds like something is going on over there," a Cell Jr. asked, leaning over to another one.
The other Cell Jr shrugged nonchalantly. "Nah, Mz. Icy can handle herself, YOU remember what happened when that guy tried to steal her purse..."
The first Cell Jr. thought for a moment, tapping his chin before it came to him. "Oh yeah... yeah, I remember," he remembered, he then shuddered. "Yeah, you're right, she CAN handle herself."
The second Cell Jr. nodded. "Exactly."
Cell blinked for a moment, hearing the commotion in the office, which the nursery was now conveniently connected to. He raised a nonexistent eyebrow before realizing his comrades had finally caught up with him. He snorted, wondering how possibly weak they really had to be if it took them ten minutes just to get to the nursury. he then turned back to his absolutely ADORABLE Cell Jrs., sighing happily in a bliss that usually only came when he either sucked the life out of a person with his tail, or just plainly killed someone in general.
Ah yes... his adorable, cute, brilliant, obediant, deadly, insidious, mischievous little Cell Jrs...
How he loved them...
What he didn't like however was how they had been dumped here like some common trash, instead of being spawn of the most perfect being in the universe...
Granted he HAD been defeated... twice...
But the first was understandable, that kid HAD been a MONSTER, not perfect at all, and that second time had been a fluke, yeah, just a FLUKE. After all, if Goku could beat Pikkon or Piakahunihuniaah-whatever his name was, and Cell could beat Goku... then OBVOUSLY it was ONLY a fluke that Cell had been beaten by that Pi-Pia-that GUY, and obviously Cell just had been up to full power yet... right? RIGHT??
Anyway, "So this Mz. Icicle, er Coldy, uh-"
"Icy, Mz. Icy, but sometimes we call her Queen Freezy, or Empress of the Slushies, it makes her REALLY mad..." A nondescript Cell Jr. told him, as he shrugged casually.
"Riiight, and this... Mz. Icy, when she get's mad... does she... attempt... to hurt you in any way? Not that I expect her to actually be ABLE to hurt you, you ARE after all, MY children," Cell asked cautiously, quite suspicious of this ICY character.
"Well, when she gets really mad, her face goes this ugly PURPLE color, all over, and then she tenses all up, and her eyes sort of glow this evil red. After that, she sort of brings out her arms and kind of curls her hands into claws, like she's about to tear us into pieces-" the Cell Jr. imitated his absent babysitter, curling his own hands into claws and crouching down, bunching up his shoulders. "And then-"
"And then what? What does she do??" asked the rather alarmed Cell.
The Cell Jr relaxed and shrugged. "She goes outside and beats up a tree."
"A... tree...?" Cell asked, relaxing as well. A skeptical look on his face appearing as he folded his arms along his chest.
"Yeah a tree. She seems like she's about to kill us, and then, she just goes outside and beats up a tree. It isn't too hard to find one you know, there's a forest here. And forests are full of trees," the Cell Jr. nodded knowingly.
"Trees...? I... didn't see any trees around here..." Cell commented as he rembered vaguelly, the surroundings of the nursery. In truth the ground surrounding the nursery had reminded him of a barren wasteland.
"Exactly," the Cell Jr. nodded.
"Okay..." Cell said as he frowned. Well, as long as that frozen witch wasn't hurting them... "You, get me that chair," he barked towards a couple Cell Jrs., referring to the one on the left as he pointed to a half-sunken blue chair in the corner.
Both Cell Jrs. blinked and looked at each other, before the right one shrugged and walked over to pick up the blue chair. "Back to being daddy's little slaves..." the right Cell Jr. muttered sarcastically under his breath.
Cell blinked for a moment before calling out for the right one to stop. "No, not you! The other Cell Jr. the one that was on your left!"
The right Cell Jr. blinked and gave him a make-up-your-mind look. "Hey, how the heck are we supposed to tel,l you just sort of looked in our direction and pointed to the chair. You're going to have to be a LITTLE more specific then that if you want a CERTAIN one of us to do you dirty work for you..."
Cell squinted suspiciously and straightened up to give an unconscious ''superior'' pose. "And HOW am I supposed to do that, do tell?"
"Well, you COULD call us by name," another Cell Jr. piped up.
Cell blinked. "Names? I never gave you names!"
The Cell Jr. blinked and frowned. "Well, we gave ourselves names. Duh. Being called the 'Cell Jrs.' get's a little confusing after awhile because you're never sure of WHO you're trying to talk to. And when someone is trying to get a hold on one of us, heh, well then-"
"And just WHY would someone need you on the telephone?" Cell asked with a twinge of annoyance in his voice.
The Cell Jr. shrugged. "Hey, we have lives down here. Dead ones, but still lives."
"Right, and just WHAT are these so-called names of yours?" Cell asked snidely.
The Cell Jrs. grinned suddenly and looked at each other with knowing looks upon their faces.
"Well?" Cell asked again.
The Cell Jrs. jumped up from around the room and ran together into a huddle, Cell lifted a non-existent eyebrow and watched as they chattered to each other in voices he couldn't quite hear, stealing glances at him from time to time. After about a minute they broke up, all with very-wide grins on their faces as they came up to him.
"Hm?" Cell commented.
"Watch this, Mz. Icy said it was cool!" the nearest Cell Jr. told him.
Suddenly all the Cell Jrs. posed heroically.
"Are you ready?" the Cell Jr. in the middle shouted.
"YEAH!" the rest of the Cell Jrs. yelled out.
"Alright! My name is RIBOSOME!" the Cell Jr. yelled out, spinning around in a circle before performing a flourishing salute.
"And my name is VACOULE!"a Cell Jr. on the right shouted before punching into the air with a war cry you might find in a cheap karate-movie.
"You can call me MITOCHONDRIA!" another Cell Jr. on the left yelled before lifting his arms and right leg high into the air.
"The name is CENTRIOLE!" a Cell Jr. in the back yelled before leaping into the air and summersaulting before landing down in a perfect split.
"I am GOLGI APPARATUS!" another Cell Jr., just to the left of Centriole shouted as he simply bowed and saluted, his name taking up most of his posing time.
"And I am NUCLEUS!!" a Cell Jr. to the far right shouted as he did a handstand.
Cell's mouth gaped open in shock.
"And my name is... well my name-uh-my name... I don't know..." the Cell Jr. on the far-left said as he scratched his head in frustration.
The rest of the Cell Jrs. stood, paralyzed in their poses for the moment, before suddenly collapsing in a pile. They angrily stared at their unnamed brother.
"Aw!" Vacoule yelled angrily, "not again!"
"I'm sorry!" said the unhappy, nameless Cell Jr.
"Can't you just PICK a stupid name already?!" Mitochondria asked angrily.
"No!" the nameless Cell Jr. shouted in surprise. "When I pick a name, it's going to brand me for life! People are going to judge me based on that name! My stanza in life is going to depend on that name! Good LORD man, my JOB will be decided on that STUPID name!"
"Gee, maybe I should have thought a little bit before picking my name..." Golgi commented thoughtfully.
Nucleus came up to his father and looked up at him with an apolegetic look on his face. "Sorry about that, he's just a little picky about what he wants to be called so he's taking his time to make sure the name he'll pick will be a good one. You can just call him Cell Jr. though for now."
Cell barely acknowledged his son as his mouth lay gaped open, his eyes glazed over with shock. It couldn't be, oh no, it COULDN'T be. His children, his precious little CHILDREN, could NOT have just done what he thought they had done. NOT. Oh geez, oh geez, they had been just like- just like- oh Lord- they had just been like the GINYU FORCE! The GINYU FORCE! Oh Kami, what was this ICY person TEACHING his children?? Cool? COOL? He knew he didn't trust her, well he'd show HER!
Cell licked his lips. "That's alright, um, Nucleus. I can see how a name might be important. Now please, there's something very important I must do."
"Um, what's that?" Nucleus asked, cocking his head to one side.
"I have to kill your caretaker," he said calmly as he stomped through the hole in the wall.
"Oh." Nucleus said as he shrugged, going back to the rest of the Cell Jrs. to try and figure out a name for their picky brother. They HAD to figure something out, the introduction sounded so silly when they came to their nameless brother...
Look, look, I'm done with another part, yeah, yeah... Dadadaaaaa... till the next time...
But only when it suits them of course
By: Tornadobuster, a freshly made, well-done, over-the-loop Lord of the Rings fan.
Except for that last bit, with the cliffhanger.
THEY KILLED OFF MY FAVORITE CHARACTER ALREADY! DAAAAAA-arn!
*sighs and perks up* But my second favorite character's still alive... for now...
I don't own DBZ. I don't own DBZ. I don't own DBZ. I don't own DBZ. I don't own DBZ. I don't own DBZ.
I don't own DBZ. I don't own DBZ. I don't own DBZ. I don't own DBZ. Okay that should it. Oh, but I DO own Mz. Icy, aaaaaaaand that's about it.
I was watching the Midnight Ev-el... thing, on Cartoon Network (yes, I admit it! That's how I watch DBZ! ::cries::) Yes, anyway, during this little thing, they showed 2 Buu episodes, 1 Cell episode, and 1 Raditz episode. The Buu episodes I ignored, I've seen them before, and I really don't care for large pink villians. With the Cell episode I watched with great interest, since almost ALL of my favorites showed up there, and I *cough* really should put Cell into character... *coughcough* Aaaand with the Raditz episode I basically laughed myself into the New year, at the idiotic lines Funimation decided to put into the character's mouths.
.......................................................................................................................................................................................
I also wrote down a few lines I thought were fairly funny... yeah, one of those *they would never say THAT* things...
Vegeta: [Cell saga, during the match between Goku and Cell] What is the secret of Kakkoratt's power?!!
Passing faerie: Juice, lot's of juice...
Piccolo: *to Goku during the Raditz episode* You sly dog you...
Raditz: -real line- *to Gohan after Gohan headbutted him* You just knocked the stuffin' out of your old Uncle Raditz!
Goku: -real line- *Goku captures Raditz for the second time* Now you see it doesn't pay to tell a lie!
Raditz: -not real- Yeah it does, you let me loose!
Goku: -not real- Yeah well, it doesn't pay to tell TWO lies!
Yeah, NOW we're at the real story...
.......................................................................................................................................................................................
Mz. Icy neatly tore out a section of paper from her three-ringed binder and threw the rest of it to the floor. She studied the torn-out section with tender care, a look of curiousity spreading across her face. She then giggled as she pulled out a lighter from the ash which had, at one point in it's ill-begotten life, been a desk.
Mz. Icy held the section of paper only inches above the lighter, enough she hoped, to make it lick the flame. She giggled again, no small trace of insanity, as she slowly opened the lighter, about to pass judgment on the papers which had plagued her for so long, she clicked the sparker once, then twice, then-
BOOM!
Mz. Icy looked up in surprise at the sudden interruption, as the remaining roof above her office suddenly collapsed in an explosion of plaster and roofing. She saw clearly what was about to hit her, exactly .27 seconds before it actually hit her. Mz. Icy was suddenly smacked to the ground by the sudden load of weight, the wind, effectively, knocked from her.
"Well, that was easy enough," a masculine voice spoke from above her.
"It wasn't as if he was TRYING to cover his trail, idiot," another voice snorted, with an odd australian accent that just seemed VERY misplaced.
"I JUST said it was EASY!" the first, somewhat more masculine voice yelled aggravently.
"Well, aren't YOU the appointed speaker of the obvious!" the second, somewhat less masculine voice yelled back, still with that same, strange australian accent.
"Oh shut up both of you! You people act so CHILDISHLY you ought to STAY here! You'd fit right IN!" another voice snapped, oddly feminine. "Why in H.E.L.L. do I let you even LIVE??! I ought to blast the lot of you!"
Silence.
"But I thought we were dead," another voice piped up.
The weight on Mz. Icy's back shifted, pushing her further into the cracked cement floor, and a ki blast could be heard making impact on something, of which Mz. Icy could only assume to be the idiotic fourth person to speak up.
A low groan could be heard.
"Hey! Guldo might be a fat, pea-green, over-eyeballed weakling, but even HE didn't deserve that!" the oddly australian voice cried out in protest.
"Hey, I'm not exactly the happiest ex-supervillian over here right now, do you really want to push your luck?" the oddly feminine voice growled.
"...Um... no," the odd australian voice gulped, as the person seemingly backed away over the broken ceiling pieces.
Mz. Icy groaned.
"Good, now let's just get Cell and maybe his brats, and get out of here," the rather feminine voice growled. It seemed oddly familiar to Mz. Icy now that she thought about it...
"But where IS Cell?" the fourth voice asked painfully as Mz. Icy felt him getting up, on her back.
"Idiot," the first voice snorted, "just follow the explosions." Mz. Icy could only imagine the gesture towards the recently added door to the nursury.
"Don't call ME an idiot, I didn't flunk MY KAT scan!" the fourth voice retorted angrily.
"I TOLD you they made a mistake!" the first voice shouted angrily.
"They RE-checked it and you STILL flunked it!" the fourth voice yelled.
"Well can I HELP it if that place is full of ameuturs?!"
"And THEN you blew the building up!" the australian-accented voice added.
"SHUT UP! THEY DESERVED IT!" the first voice screamed.
"Oh SHUT UP all of you! We don't have time for this!" the feminine voice shouted harshly, "Now come on before I kill you all!"
"Yes Lord Frieza," the other members of the group responded immediately, Mz. Icy felt the weight on her back lift lift off and she sighed in relief.
Then she realized WHY that oddly feminine voice seemed so familiar.
Burter suddenly sighed.
"What's wrong?" Jeice asked as he noticed his teammate's unhappiness.
"I'm still hungry," Burter told him as his stomach growled.
Suddenly the floor was blasted apart.
"Hm?" Frieza mumbled as he glanced back in notice of the sudden explosion. He casually turned back and shrugged, proceeding then-
-to do a double take and gasp in shock.
Mz. Icy growled as she exploded from the rubble, a substantial glow at her back, casting her face and body in dark shadow. Except for her eyes which glowed an evil red. She turned her head towards the shocked Frieza and raised a shadow casted arm at him, pointed a well-trimmed nail, which at the moment was much more claw-like then anything. "You," she growled, sounding more like a beast then an ice-jin.
Frieza gasped fearfully as he backed up a step. "It-It can't be!" he managed to whimper.
Mz. Icy's eyes narrowed as her stretched out hand became a fist, pulling it back to her chest. "You..." she growled again as she stared down at her fist. Light from her backdrop then caught onto her glasses and giving them a bright glare. There was a momentary pause before the backdrop of light suddenly fell away and hence, the dramatic shadow which covered Mz. Icy. Mz Icy looked up with a blatant hateful look on her face. "I ought to KILL YOU!" she suddenly screamed before she shot towards Frieza with an open fist.
Frieza squawked as Mz. Icy sped towards him, reaching him in a blink of an eye, not that Frieza actually took the time to blink as Mz. Icy suddenly planted her fist into his china-like face. Frieza dropped to the ground in tornado-warning like manner with his hands over his head. Unfortunately it did not abate Mz. Icy's brash attack on his poor back.
"DIE! DIE! DIE!" Mz. Icy screeched as she continued to try and beat Frieza into oblivion.
"GET HER OF ME! GET HER OFF ME! GET HER OFF ME!" Frieza also screeched to the dumbfounded Ginyu Force.
A shocked Jeice turned to an equally shocked Burter with a questionate look on his face. Burter blinked and turned to Jeice, also quite confused. Jeice blinked and cocked his head to a side, raising a bleached eyebrow. Burter shrugged.
Burter and Jeice walked over to the more-than-subdued Frieza and the more-than-enraged Mz. Icy, and casually pulled her off the already battle-scarred ex-supervillian. They backed off a few feet and restrained her, barely.
"LET ME GO, HE ISN'T DEAD YET! I GOTTA KIIILL HIM!"Mz. Icy shrieked in consuming anger as she thrashed against her restrainers. "HE'S NOT DEEEAAD!!!"
Frieza gasped for air as he struggled to get up, his face, if possible, even whiter then it had been before. Obviously shaken, he looked wide-eyed at the very pissed-off Mz. Icy and the rather confused Ginyu Force.
"Um, Frieza-" Guldo hesitated as he walked up to his former commander, scratching his head and having an AWFULLY confused look on his face.
"Just KEEP her AWAY from me! DON'T let her GO!" Frieza squawked with a very panicked voice, obviously ready to jump out of his skin at a pindrop.
"How can you have the GALL to come around HERE, you NO-ACCOUNT GAY, FREAKISH, NO-EXCUSEDISGUSTING-TREYGISHJEKSOAVWYCILTIM-" she started to scream, passing from normal Basic into her own ice-jin language, which only posed to show how truly aggravated Mz. Icy really was.
And from the look on Frieza it obviously wasn't anything worth translation. Frieza's face suddenly went from one of the highest level of fear, to one of ferocious anger. "How dare you call me that-that NAME!" Frieza yelled angrily.
"Oh, don't you DARE command me! Don't you DARE! I swear if you didn't have to be DEAD to be down here, I'd KILL YOU!" Mz. Icy yelled, her shock subsiding, her anger however, not.
"Um, Frieza... how do you, um, KNOW this person?" Jeice asked hesitently, gesturing towards the seething Mz. Icy with a nudge of his head, arms full just trying to hold on to her.
"Oh, so even your BUDDY here doesn't know? You don't even bother to tell your FRIENDS about me anymore??!" Mz. Icy screamed.
"Well,uh-" Frieza coughed as he scratched his head.
"Oh SURE! Just BURY me 6 FEET DEEP, and try to FORGET ABOUT ME, ISN'T THAT RIGHT??!" Mz. Icy screamed, some of her adrenaline-caused fury starting to return.
"Excuse me, but HOW do you two KNOW each other??" Jeice repeated, straining to be heard over Mz. Frieza ear-split ranting.
"You want to know HOW? HOW we know each other? How about it dear Frieza? Should I TELL him??" Mz. Icy asked, smiling bitterly, a prominent tick finding its way to her eye. "SHOULD I??!" Mz. Icy waited a moment before going on. "Alright, I WILL tell him. Yeah, I'll tell you how I KNOW this piece of TRASH, I'll tell ya. He's my HUSBAND!!!"
"Say, you think we oughtta' check what's going on in Mz. Icy's office? It sounds like something is going on over there," a Cell Jr. asked, leaning over to another one.
The other Cell Jr shrugged nonchalantly. "Nah, Mz. Icy can handle herself, YOU remember what happened when that guy tried to steal her purse..."
The first Cell Jr. thought for a moment, tapping his chin before it came to him. "Oh yeah... yeah, I remember," he remembered, he then shuddered. "Yeah, you're right, she CAN handle herself."
The second Cell Jr. nodded. "Exactly."
Cell blinked for a moment, hearing the commotion in the office, which the nursery was now conveniently connected to. He raised a nonexistent eyebrow before realizing his comrades had finally caught up with him. He snorted, wondering how possibly weak they really had to be if it took them ten minutes just to get to the nursury. he then turned back to his absolutely ADORABLE Cell Jrs., sighing happily in a bliss that usually only came when he either sucked the life out of a person with his tail, or just plainly killed someone in general.
Ah yes... his adorable, cute, brilliant, obediant, deadly, insidious, mischievous little Cell Jrs...
How he loved them...
What he didn't like however was how they had been dumped here like some common trash, instead of being spawn of the most perfect being in the universe...
Granted he HAD been defeated... twice...
But the first was understandable, that kid HAD been a MONSTER, not perfect at all, and that second time had been a fluke, yeah, just a FLUKE. After all, if Goku could beat Pikkon or Piakahunihuniaah-whatever his name was, and Cell could beat Goku... then OBVOUSLY it was ONLY a fluke that Cell had been beaten by that Pi-Pia-that GUY, and obviously Cell just had been up to full power yet... right? RIGHT??
Anyway, "So this Mz. Icicle, er Coldy, uh-"
"Icy, Mz. Icy, but sometimes we call her Queen Freezy, or Empress of the Slushies, it makes her REALLY mad..." A nondescript Cell Jr. told him, as he shrugged casually.
"Riiight, and this... Mz. Icy, when she get's mad... does she... attempt... to hurt you in any way? Not that I expect her to actually be ABLE to hurt you, you ARE after all, MY children," Cell asked cautiously, quite suspicious of this ICY character.
"Well, when she gets really mad, her face goes this ugly PURPLE color, all over, and then she tenses all up, and her eyes sort of glow this evil red. After that, she sort of brings out her arms and kind of curls her hands into claws, like she's about to tear us into pieces-" the Cell Jr. imitated his absent babysitter, curling his own hands into claws and crouching down, bunching up his shoulders. "And then-"
"And then what? What does she do??" asked the rather alarmed Cell.
The Cell Jr relaxed and shrugged. "She goes outside and beats up a tree."
"A... tree...?" Cell asked, relaxing as well. A skeptical look on his face appearing as he folded his arms along his chest.
"Yeah a tree. She seems like she's about to kill us, and then, she just goes outside and beats up a tree. It isn't too hard to find one you know, there's a forest here. And forests are full of trees," the Cell Jr. nodded knowingly.
"Trees...? I... didn't see any trees around here..." Cell commented as he rembered vaguelly, the surroundings of the nursery. In truth the ground surrounding the nursery had reminded him of a barren wasteland.
"Exactly," the Cell Jr. nodded.
"Okay..." Cell said as he frowned. Well, as long as that frozen witch wasn't hurting them... "You, get me that chair," he barked towards a couple Cell Jrs., referring to the one on the left as he pointed to a half-sunken blue chair in the corner.
Both Cell Jrs. blinked and looked at each other, before the right one shrugged and walked over to pick up the blue chair. "Back to being daddy's little slaves..." the right Cell Jr. muttered sarcastically under his breath.
Cell blinked for a moment before calling out for the right one to stop. "No, not you! The other Cell Jr. the one that was on your left!"
The right Cell Jr. blinked and gave him a make-up-your-mind look. "Hey, how the heck are we supposed to tel,l you just sort of looked in our direction and pointed to the chair. You're going to have to be a LITTLE more specific then that if you want a CERTAIN one of us to do you dirty work for you..."
Cell squinted suspiciously and straightened up to give an unconscious ''superior'' pose. "And HOW am I supposed to do that, do tell?"
"Well, you COULD call us by name," another Cell Jr. piped up.
Cell blinked. "Names? I never gave you names!"
The Cell Jr. blinked and frowned. "Well, we gave ourselves names. Duh. Being called the 'Cell Jrs.' get's a little confusing after awhile because you're never sure of WHO you're trying to talk to. And when someone is trying to get a hold on one of us, heh, well then-"
"And just WHY would someone need you on the telephone?" Cell asked with a twinge of annoyance in his voice.
The Cell Jr. shrugged. "Hey, we have lives down here. Dead ones, but still lives."
"Right, and just WHAT are these so-called names of yours?" Cell asked snidely.
The Cell Jrs. grinned suddenly and looked at each other with knowing looks upon their faces.
"Well?" Cell asked again.
The Cell Jrs. jumped up from around the room and ran together into a huddle, Cell lifted a non-existent eyebrow and watched as they chattered to each other in voices he couldn't quite hear, stealing glances at him from time to time. After about a minute they broke up, all with very-wide grins on their faces as they came up to him.
"Hm?" Cell commented.
"Watch this, Mz. Icy said it was cool!" the nearest Cell Jr. told him.
Suddenly all the Cell Jrs. posed heroically.
"Are you ready?" the Cell Jr. in the middle shouted.
"YEAH!" the rest of the Cell Jrs. yelled out.
"Alright! My name is RIBOSOME!" the Cell Jr. yelled out, spinning around in a circle before performing a flourishing salute.
"And my name is VACOULE!"a Cell Jr. on the right shouted before punching into the air with a war cry you might find in a cheap karate-movie.
"You can call me MITOCHONDRIA!" another Cell Jr. on the left yelled before lifting his arms and right leg high into the air.
"The name is CENTRIOLE!" a Cell Jr. in the back yelled before leaping into the air and summersaulting before landing down in a perfect split.
"I am GOLGI APPARATUS!" another Cell Jr., just to the left of Centriole shouted as he simply bowed and saluted, his name taking up most of his posing time.
"And I am NUCLEUS!!" a Cell Jr. to the far right shouted as he did a handstand.
Cell's mouth gaped open in shock.
"And my name is... well my name-uh-my name... I don't know..." the Cell Jr. on the far-left said as he scratched his head in frustration.
The rest of the Cell Jrs. stood, paralyzed in their poses for the moment, before suddenly collapsing in a pile. They angrily stared at their unnamed brother.
"Aw!" Vacoule yelled angrily, "not again!"
"I'm sorry!" said the unhappy, nameless Cell Jr.
"Can't you just PICK a stupid name already?!" Mitochondria asked angrily.
"No!" the nameless Cell Jr. shouted in surprise. "When I pick a name, it's going to brand me for life! People are going to judge me based on that name! My stanza in life is going to depend on that name! Good LORD man, my JOB will be decided on that STUPID name!"
"Gee, maybe I should have thought a little bit before picking my name..." Golgi commented thoughtfully.
Nucleus came up to his father and looked up at him with an apolegetic look on his face. "Sorry about that, he's just a little picky about what he wants to be called so he's taking his time to make sure the name he'll pick will be a good one. You can just call him Cell Jr. though for now."
Cell barely acknowledged his son as his mouth lay gaped open, his eyes glazed over with shock. It couldn't be, oh no, it COULDN'T be. His children, his precious little CHILDREN, could NOT have just done what he thought they had done. NOT. Oh geez, oh geez, they had been just like- just like- oh Lord- they had just been like the GINYU FORCE! The GINYU FORCE! Oh Kami, what was this ICY person TEACHING his children?? Cool? COOL? He knew he didn't trust her, well he'd show HER!
Cell licked his lips. "That's alright, um, Nucleus. I can see how a name might be important. Now please, there's something very important I must do."
"Um, what's that?" Nucleus asked, cocking his head to one side.
"I have to kill your caretaker," he said calmly as he stomped through the hole in the wall.
"Oh." Nucleus said as he shrugged, going back to the rest of the Cell Jrs. to try and figure out a name for their picky brother. They HAD to figure something out, the introduction sounded so silly when they came to their nameless brother...
Look, look, I'm done with another part, yeah, yeah... Dadadaaaaa... till the next time...