How fast can you run? .

Summersea's feet pounded against soil as she fled the ekele blindly. Somewhere above her, she knew that Kirai was aloft, following her even though his night sight was horrible. The muddle of emotion in her own mind kept her from being able to hear his Mindcall; the sound of her blood pulsing at her temple drowned out the sound of his desperate keening. Running. She seemed to be doing a lot of it lately, trying to flee some intangible fear, from low voices that spoke to her from the shadows…

Trying to run from herself.  

How many times must you run?

The wind ripped away any sob that might have come out of Summersea's mouth and her vision was curiously blurred. In the place of the clear sight, she saw only dancing blobs of color and light to differentiate between 'lamplight', 'path', 'tree', and 'ekele'. She opened her mouth, dragging oxygen into her lungs as she ran, her stride lengthening until she felt as if she could run faster than a dyheli, faster than the foaming rapids of a river. And still, the exertion didn't bring about the usual blessed numbness of her mind. The little voice still mocked her with unanswerable questions.

Can you run far enough tonight?

She pushed herself harder, feeling her legs start to cramp. Her breath was already wild, ragged, and the stitch in her side was rapidly developing into full-blown pain. Logically, she knew she should stop. She was pushing her body too hard without the proper stretches first. But she didn't want to stop. She was going somewhere, she felt like she was getting somewhere, beating out the frustration by punishing her body. Stretching sinew, muscle, and ligament until they burned. Making every nerve scream.

And still, the question remained.

Can you?

She drew a breath and felt the muscles in her chest twitch spasmodically, clutching at her heart like a giant fist.

Can you?

No.

Her feet stopped and she dropped to her hands and knees like a stone. There was nothing planned or expected about the sudden fall; it was a collapse, pure and simple, and for a second, black tinged the blurriness of her vision, threatening her with nausea and oblivion. Suddenly, a large, feathered body slammed against her shoulder, and a defiant screech shot excruciating darts of noise through her already throbbing head.

::Stupid!:: Kirai screamed both mentally and physically, and the power of his anger penetrated even her malaise. His wings were flared and his long, cruel talons bit unthinkingly into her shoulder, leaving long scratches to bleed crimson into her shirt.  ::Stupid stupid! Cannot see at night! Should not fly at night!::

::I'm sorry…::

::Sorry not good enough!:: His continuing screams nearly deafened her. ::Killing yourself! Killing me! Not want to die because foolish bonded crazy!::

When Summersea only stared at him with uncomprehending, dazed eyes, he darted in front of her face and shrieked. ::Wake up!::

Instinctively, Summersea reared away as his beak snapped a scant centimeter from her nose and her foot slipped, sending her from her hands and knees to sprawling on her stomach. The pungent scent of wet grasses filled her nostrils, and a shudder went through her body, followed by another and another, until she couldn't seem to stop the wracking trembles that coursed through her.

Memory and sanity finally pierced the hot, blank haze and Summersea shivered even harder as cold air struck sweat-dampened skin and clinging, wet clothes and she rocked herself slightly, curling her body into a fetal ball. "Lady Goddess…." Her voice was a croaked, hoarse whisper and instinctively, she held out her arms to her bondbird, seeking warmth in the down of his feathers and comfort in the mind-presence that was like an anchor to cling to in the middle of a storm. With a creeling moan, he dove against her chest, rubbing his head against her chest, pushing against her as if he was trying to burrow into her, trying to make sure that she was really sane and whole.

"I'm sorry…" Summersea repeated. She couldn't seem to say anything else as she stroked Kirai's long, silky pinions, scratching behind his ear tuffs and in his breast feathers. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry…." Her voice was ragged, harsh from exertion but her mind, her eyes, were remarkably clear. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry…."

::Must stop running from me.:: Kirai hissed fiercely, and Summersea could feel the pain behind his words as emotion and thought became one, drumming against her Shields like a tangible entity of roiling darkness and flashing color. He had become increasingly worried for her and all she did was push him away, enclose herself in a shell of self-pity and isolation without caring what anyone else thought, including her bondbird. She never told him what was wrong; he could only make educated guesses and act on them the best he could.  He was worried, he was afraid….

…he was going into early molt. And he didn't like losing feathers in early spring!

The last wrung a reluctant laugh from somewhere deep in Summersea's chest and she cuddled closer around the distressed falcon, murmuring reassurance against the top of his head. ::I'm sorry, Kirai. I haven't been normal this week…::

Kirai gave a human-like snort. ::Haven't been normal since hatched:: He replied snappishly, more like his usual, sarcastic self ::Been stranger than usual….longer than this week. This week bad, worse, worst of all. Could not Feel you at all this week.:: He swiveled his eye to glare up at her sternly. ::Did not like feeling alone. Is reason that birds bond to chosen one, so never need feel such way.::

Summersea gave him a tired half-smile. "I'm sorry. I've been acting stupid."

::Very.:: Kirai agreed mercilessly. ::Expect it of humans. No such thing as a logical human:: He flipped his wings once, swiveling his head to and fro for a moment in thought before he added hesitantly. ::Nest is no longer a good place for you though. Might be time for us…:: he emphasized the word with a snap of his beak ::….go soon. Nestling does not stay in parents care forever.::

Summersea sighed dispiritedly, still scratching soothingly behind Kirai's eartuffs. "Leaving sounds wonderful at this point, but where would we go? How would we get there? I'm only a girl, and you're only a bird, albeit the best bondbird that anyone in K'Valdemar could ask for. Mother and Father would never allow me to go."

Kirai was quiet for a moment, before he said softly, deliberately, ::Girl cannot. Bird cannot. But Silver can.:: He looked at the suddenly silent girl, his yellow falcon's eye tense and wary. ::Do you not wish to be a Silver?::

Something knotted against Summersea's windpipe, making it hard to breath. She tightened her fingers convulsively into Kirai's long feathers, not hard enough to hurt but firmly enough to show her agitation. "I want to be," She breathed, "I'd do anything…."

::Want is not good enough.:: Kirai reprimanded. ::Must do it. Like first time flying must open wings and flap.::

Excitement coursed through her veins and she almost trembled, and yet, a part of her, the logical, careful part of her, hesitated. "Do you think I can?"

::Does the fledgling think she can?:: Kirai retorted peevishly.

"I—"

::Not make decision now. Obviously not ready; think before act.:: The bondbird flipped his wings authoritatively, ::Also no food. No place finder. Cannot live without. Sleep. Wait. Prepare.::

Summersea sighed. "I guess you're right."

I don't want to go back. I want to go now...but….without food? Without a map or weapons? How long would I survive? Summersea shook her head contemptuously at herself. Even though she wasn't a Silver yet, she knew that the forests were a dangerous place, especially with all the ChangeBeasts prowling the jungles, magically enhanced, warped, and crazed by the cataclysmic Mage Winds.

Better to plan carefully…

If you really think you can do this…a voice whispered mockingly in her mind.  If you think you can really do this, you foolish youngling.

"Stop." She ordered herself harshly, and then blushed as Kirai turned an inquiring glance upon her. She shook her head.

Everything's fine, she said softly, I need to think about this. I need to make sure I can do this.

Yellow raptors eyes gleamed in the darkness, and Summersea knew that Kirai saw more behind these words than she said.

Without the snapping retort he usually leveled on what he thought was human stupidity, he thought simply ::Sea is a wide place to cross for gulls to land in nesting grounds. Might not make it. Might not ever see it. But all attempt it because is just must. Is instinct. Is part of self.  Will Summersea fly across sea or will she just watch waves?:: When the girl made no response, he shrugged and turned his thoughts back to his dinner. Or, he reminded her peevishly, his lack of since he had been required to chase her wing lengths out of the Vale.

"Alright, alright," she agreed, just a little reluctantly. "Let's start heading home." Rising to her feet (and feeling the twinges in her leg muscles that signaled strain), she began to walk in the directions of the distant, bobbing lanterns. Noting the stretch of darkness between them and the Vale, she remarked, a little surprised, "That was a long run. I'm surprised that a beast didn't think to follow me."

Kirai opened his beak in a soundless laugh. ::Maybe  afraid you would eat it.::

Summersea considered it, and shook her head, smiling a little wryly. "Probably."

*~*

The next few days were hellish.

Not in the sense of too much work, or probing questions from her family. Even her parents, throwing wary, disapproving glances in her direction after her late arrival, had seemed to back away from the subject after a brief scold on staying out late. Summerwind had apologized so it wasn't that either.

No it was not because of family, acquaintances, teachers, magic, or Mages. It was simply that the need to go and the compulsion to stay had began a war inside her heart and mind, tearing away at her until it became a physical ache.

Her heart whispered at her to go, urging her towards the unknown shadows that reached star-whispered, murky fingers towards her, beckoning her with the soft, tantalizing murmurs of the winds. It promised adventures, excitement….perhaps….just perhaps….a road to acceptance by someone, professionally and socially. The wide expanse of unexplored forest, the leaves only a far off silver gleam in the sunlight, the interior, dark and tantalizing….

Her mind screamed a reprimand, shirking away in horror at the very thought. Changebeasts, unknown dangers lay within the darkness, gold-slitted eyes flickered hungrily, cloaked within the concealing foliage. Swamps and bogs to trap an unwary traveler, undrinkable water, spoiled meat, death; they were undeniable drawbacks to her too rational mind. And guilt, heavy and thick like too sweet molasses, dripping through every pore of her for even thinking of betraying her family, those who loved her, those who had raised her and had high expectations of her.

Impossible.

Impossible to go, impossible to stay.

To do either would hurt someone, her, her family, her Vale….

Calm. When she realized her panicked thoughts were going in circles of borderline hysteria, she firmly ordered her mind to blank, imagining a single skein of unending seas, thick threads of sunlight weaving glowing sparkles in the blue waters. She stretched the image across her mind until her mind's eye was half-blinded by the reflections of the water and she could almost scent….taste….the salty moisture and feel the summer heat roll of her shoulders in waves.

She breathed in deeply, letting her body settle into a state of unseeing relaxation before she cast her mind upward in a wordless plea for guidance from the Star-Eyed One. To have formed a specific wish would have been like asking for a mound of gold set at her feet in that instant; possible, but improbable that the Goddess would answer such a foolish request. Instead, she gathered her emotions to her, letting everything, quicksilver desire, fear, uncertainty, determination, duty, guilt, and when she could almost feel heat rise from the intensity of it all, she released it into the four winds, hoping that someone, somewhere, would hear and aid her in her decision.

Guidance….please answer…I need guidance…

She held her breath for a second, her heart skipping a beat or two. Then she blew it out in mingled relief and exasperation when nothing happened. Idiot. She chided herself, rising to her feet. The Gods only help once you can do no more. You've asked, which is all you can do. Now you figure it out to the best of your ability and hope someone's looking to make sure you aren't messing up any divine plans. She glanced up at the position of the sun and with another sigh, rose to her feet and called Kirai to her.

He alighted on her outstretched hand, his expression quizzical. ::Made decision?::

"Nope. But I have to go home now. Do you want to come with me or stay and hunt?"

Kirai clacked his beak meditatively, ::Will stay and hunt. Food is good in ekele but better when fresh.::

"Okay, come back when you're finished."

Kiria bobbed his head, nibbling at her fingers and then flung himself up and away into the trees. Summersea made tracks for her ekele. Magic lessons again. Then Mother needed help with the rug that she was braiding.

Life in the Vale went on…

A flash of blue whirled amidst the green placidity of the trees, a troubled gaze watching the girl as she loped away towards the Vale. I know you hear her, my Goddess. But do you find this child's wishes worthy of Your intervention?

A light laugh, and the face of the Mother flickered in the shadows, so faint it could have merely been mistaken for the random patterning of the leaves. She was insubstantial as air, this ghost of a tenderly smiling woman, her stark golden features delicate-boned and graceful. Sable locks tumbled about her face in wild, thin braids, blowing in an imaginary wind that no one else felt. A pretty woman, but you might see the same person walking through the tall-grassed plains of the Shin'an or watching you from the high perches of the Telydras forest. She was utterly ordinary….until you saw her eyes.

Her eyes had brought armies to her feet; her cold, glittering, star-filled gaze made kings fall from their thrones, trembling in awe and fear as they touched their foreheads to the floors of their own throne room. Those two windows into an otherworldly realm swallowed you if you looked into them too long; you could feel your soul departing from your body, drowning willingly in the black and silver enigma of her stare.

She smiled now, her features gentled in the face of the Mother. She is such a child. Naïve, foolish…so young!

She has a strong heart.

The Goddess considered the one whose thoughts had summoned Her, her fathomless star-filled eyes distant. A strong heart that is breaking. She finally said, She will shatter. And her family shall have what they wish for when she breaks: another Mage.

A fist clenched. She would be wasted. She has neither the will nor the wish to be one.

But she will eventually be a good one. Not excellent, not exceptional, but good nonetheless. In time, I believe she will be accepted in the Vale as one of their own. The stars in her eyes twinkled vivaciously, as if in some private amusement.

You will not help her?

She is not ready for Me. Perhaps in time. Noting her companion's slumped shoulders and frustration, she added soothingly, Have faith in the one that you protect. Have you not said that her heart is strong? Then trust in that heart, incomplete, crack-ridden though it is, to continue this fight. Do you truly believe that this child will allow herself to be a casualty in this personal war? She smiled gently. She is stronger than even you give her credit for, my raven.

Knowing that he would get no other assurance from Her, he asked impulsively, But You will look out for her?

A soft, chiming laugh stole through the trees, caressing and encouraging. Of course! When children are troubled, are not their mothers there to cover them with warmth and comfort? I shall be the star that she looks towards when she raises her heads to the skies. I will watch her through the eyes of her young Kirai and walk beside her, though she sees me not. She faded into trees, her silvery voice adding softly, For after all, is she not one of Mine?

***

Unaware of this discussion of her character, Summersea concentrated on the ripples of power in the leylines, half-tranced as she watched silver bolts of lightning crackle around her twin's still form. They were sitting two bodylengths from each other, each of their power spinning around their inert bodies restlessly, as active and energetic as they were not.

Kakara, named after the sound of the lightning snapping as it cascaded down to earth.  It was a game they often played in practice and the rules were so simple, that even five year olds that showed a hint of Gift could understand it.

Ten balls of power that could be manipulated into any shape, no active shields, no physical attack. The goal was simple: penetrate your opponent's defenses and capture.

Summersea's lips curved in a small smile. This was a good way to work off some frustration with the Fates for giving her so many decisions to make. When physical exercise couldn't cut it, there was nothing so satisfying as pitting yourself against someone that everybody knew was stronger than you.

So what if she wasn't even half as good as her brother when it came to controlling the Gift? Power didn't matter here, just how you positioned, attacked, and countered.  It was a tactician's game for the most part.

Her game.

Without giving time for her brother to martial his defenses, she spun her orbs towards him in quick darting blows, little threads of lightning sizzling and flickering angrily whenever their spheres clashed against each other. As Summersea sank deeper into her trance, reaching for the threads of power that lay within her, her commands became quicker, easier Before long, the swift, probing attacks became more intricate, the colors more dazzling, until the arena between them was festooned in dripping ribbons that cascaded and writhed, sputtering like fireworks on a festival day.

On the periphery of her mind's eye, she noted that some of the Vale's people had stopped to 'ooh' and 'aaah' at the brilliant light's display and murmuring approvingly at some strike or counter. She could also feel her brother's smugness and pride because of it. She grinned, reaching out to give him an admonishing mental tap.

::Concentrate, vain peacock::

Her brother started a little in surprise and she Felt his amusement as if it were her own.

::There's no fault in liking to be the center of attention.::

::And saying that, you lose.::

Summerwind, distracted, couldn't react fast enough as she gave all her spheres a hard twist to the right, disengaging her frontal attack abruptly. In a blink of the eye, she sent them spiraling wide, twisting their individual fields of energy into one glowing spear of power, and drove through the sparse defense at his side, and overwhelming his guarding spheres with sheer number. Not even sparing a moment to disentangle the mass, she zipped them towards Summerwind, halting them a mere two inches from his very surprised face.

::Yield.::

::As if I had any other choice::

With a wave of his hand, he dismissed his own spheres of energy and rose to his feet, shaking out the creases in his colorful costume.

"If you weren't my twin, I'd be predisposed to hate your very liver," Summerwind said wryly as he walked over to her. "I never understand how you can always win at Kakara and completely muddle even the simplest of spells."

"Simple." Summersea replied cheerfully. She raised her arms to her brother and he hauled her to her feet, helping her dust the grass stains from her shirt and pants. "You watch your audience. I watch you. I kill you."

"You basically do the same thing with Featherblade in your magic lessons, and you never do so well."

"That's different, context of the lesson is completely unalike." Summersea retorted, "His lessons are bent on dredging up every smidgen of Gift Potential from Gods knows where and controlling it. Here, you know exactly what you have, where you have them, and how to use them." She paused, then smirked, "Besides, Featherblade's old. He's had decades of experience to make him sneaky and evil."

"I'll thank you not to disparage me behind my back, youngling, especially when you know that I'm behind yours." A dry voice emerged behind the siblings and Featherblade, in his all his swirling, storm-cloud colored finery, cocked an eyebrow at his pupils. "I'm still young enough to be able to whip your hide."

"If you could catch me." Summersea replied outrageously.

Featherblade chuckled and put a one hand on Summersea's shoulder, the other on her brother's. "You're both growing very nicely into your powers, even though your sister is right and you should be paying attention to what you're doing, Summerwind, and not how many people are watching you do it." Summerwind flushed at the admonishing gaze the older man leveled on him.

"Yes, Featherblade."

"Good lad. Now be on your way; Starsong specifically asked me to look for you and ask if you would be interested in helping him on one of those knick-knack projects of his." Summerwind immediately brightened, his eyes glowing and Summersea had to grin at the way he forgot even to say goodbye as he tore off towards his mentor's ekele, almost tumbling into several lingering onlookers in his haste.

"See, that is the way a pupil should act toward her teacher." Featherblade said.

Summersea laughed and reached up to tug affectionately on one of his long, flowing locks. "Nah. If I did that to my teacher, it would get to his head and inflate his ego to monstrous proportions."

Featherblade shook his head, a long-suffering sigh escaping past his lips. "What teacher deserves such treatment?" He glanced down at Summersea with twinkling eyes that belied his woeful claim. "Especially when said teacher has a compromise that might soothe any ruffled feathers between you and your mother."

"Wha—? Tell!" Summersea demanded, not daring to hope. "You have that I-know-something-that-you-don't grin on your face again!"

"Patience youngster." Featherblade laughed, "Give an old man time to gather his wits."

Summersea groaned. "If I say sorry, will you tell me?"

"I might."

"I'm sorry for calling you old, sneaky, and evil, now please tell me!"

"That didn't seem very sincere, but since I'm such a magnanimous person…." Featherblade gathered the young woman to him, steering her gently towards the shade of a nearby tree. "There are things that you must know of your mother first. Sera is a wonderful woman, caring, devoted, determined." Something in Featherblade's eye stopped her from making the sharp retort on the tip of her tongue that this had nothing to do about his so-called solution. She bit her lip and prepared to listen. "But hers is a hard life. She's not Vale-born and unconsciously, people react to that; they did not accept her wholeheartedly in the beginning either, Summersea, or did she not tell you?"

Summersea blushed and muttered an indecipherable reply under her breath. She hadn't realized that part.

"Well, she wasn't. So she tries to make herself as Taleydras as she can…and because you carry her features," unconsciously, Summersea fingered her wheat-gold hair uneasily, "she has to make doubly sure that you are someone that these people can trust and look up to you when you grow older."

"Well, they don't." Summersea said, not quite able to hide her bitterness. "I'm not one of the townspeople and I'm not truly Tayledras."

"That's why she pushes you so hard to become a mage. Summersea, no matter who a person is, townfolk, Valdemerian, Tayedras, or Ghost Cat, they will all give due respect to a Mage, half-born or not.  Especially one with a heritage of Earth Healing and strong Gift on her father's side. Your mother's reasoning, as fallacious as it may be, is that if her children are mages, they will be accepted into society. No matter how it may look like to you, she has always tried to look out for your welfare."

Summersea lowered her eyes, a little ashamed, "I know that, I guess. It's just that it's been awful, trying to be something I'm not, like being cast adrift in a sea on a dingy without a sail, and not being able to even use the wind to push you in the right direction. You know you're going about this all wrong, but someone else is always controlling whatever you do." She raised unhappy eyes to her teacher. "I've really tried to not complain about it, Featherblade, but…"

"But you can't help feeling resentful." Featherblade finished softly.  "And it's normal. Which is why we come to the compromise part of things. You're mother wants you to be a mage, and you do have the potential to be one, but," He raised a hand to stave of her protest. "perhaps not the kind that she is trying to mold you into being." He hesitated a little, gauging Summersea's response before saying carefully, "I know of a shaman in the Ghost Cats, one that specializes in defensive and offensive magic. It wouldn't exactly be trying out for the Silvers," He smiled wryly, "In addition to getting magical training, you'll still probably be slogging through mud, getting physical training every day until every single part of your body aches, getting pounded by barrages of physical, nonphysical, astral, attacks until your mind can't distinguish reality from imagination any more. The Ghost Cats are hard masters, but not unkind, and not unfair."

"Defensive magic?" Summersea asked, a little dazed, "Like tactics. Like Kakara?"

"Tactics, quick thinking, strategy, yes, except on a much larger scale than Kakara." Featherblade smiled at her rapt expression, "In some ways, it'll be harder than what you're doing now. You'll have to know every single foot of the surrounding miles rather than just the individual leylines that are running through it. Every tree, stem of grass, even the dirt in the ground before you're even going to get started on the magical part of your training. You're perceptions of everything around you will have to be expanded—"

"But it would be worth it!" Summersea whispered, "Imagine doing something useful with my Gift….not," she amended hastily, "that what father and mother and you are doing isn't useful, but you know, and I know, that there are half a dozen mages-in-training that can do the same thing with much better results than I can. But this…" She smiled hopefully, "most mages don't study strategy like I do. I can do this, I know I can."

"It's hard," Featherblade warned.

"Life is hard." The young girl tossed her head back in defiance. "Hard is knowing that you aren't going anywhere in what you do now. I'll work hard, I promise." And this is a good plan. A much better plan that trekking all the way up to the K'Leshya on my own. I can be useful here. To my people. I can keep my promises and carry my responsibilities without feeling smothered by them. It's a good plan. A solid plan.

With a sudden spurt of joy, she jumped up and tugged Featherblade's hand, calling Kirai to her in her excitement. "Come on, let's go tell Mother! She'll agree to it! I know she will!"

Featherblade smiled indulgently, letting his pupil pull him towards her ekele. If Summersea accepted it, so would Sera. She might not like it at first, but she would agree, and she would come around, especially since Moonwind already had.

After all, Sera Forest was a proud woman, but not inflexible.

***

"No."

The calm word shattered through the ekele, as soft as the flitting of shadows and wind, but carrying all the weight of a slap. Summersea sucked in her breath. Even Kirai didn't dare move, standing as motionlessly as if he were stuffed on his perch.

"No?" She repeated in disbelief. "Mother, you can't just—"

"No! And I'll thank you not to put foolish ideas into my child's head!" Sera rounded on Featherblade sharply, her quicksilver green eyes turning blue with ire, "She will become a Mage and she shall go into the Gate Project, like her father and her brothers. She shall stay in the Vale, with the family that loves her, and knows what's best for her! Not off to some barbaric camp to train with some half-washed, half-mad shaman!"

Featherblade's eyes narrowed. "You are distraught," He said quietly. "And you are my friend. So I shall try to disregard what you just said."

"I wish I could disregard the fact that you're encouraging my daughter in her hare-brained schemes! She is a mage…she has Potential and she will be trained as a mage and she will grow up as one!" Her voice sounded like newly forged steel being dragged from the fire, harsh and pinging and her eyes glittered angrily with some inner fire. "My daughter Will. Be. A. Mage."

"I will, but just not like Father!" Summersea cried, "When I reach my Mastery, I can—"

"No!" Sera dismissed the subject with a swift chop of her hand, turning her back on both of them as she headed back into the heart of the ekele. "There is no point in discussing this any further. I'm too busy to talk about nonsense. Summersea, please see Master Featherblade out."

Summersea almost choked on her humiliation, her hands knotting into fists at her side. She was sixteen, almost an adult by Ghost Cat standards, and here she was being treated like a baby from her mother. Lika doll without a wit in her head. Hare-brained? Foolish? She'd heard those phrases once too many times! Feeling suffocated, she stared at the flap door that separated the family room from this one, feeling an old, familiar bitterness well up in her, but this time, no tears, thank the Gods. She was too furious to even contemplate crying.

She shouldn't have hoped. Hope was for fools, for imbeciles. She should have never believed that her mother would even try to see it her way!

A cool hand rested on her shoulder and she couldn't even bring herself to look up at her teacher. "It will be fine, Summersea. Sera'll come around once she sees the merit of it."

That was the second time in her life that she had known Featherblade to be fallible. The first was when he told her that her mother would agree in the first place.

In fact, it got steadily worse. Not only did Sera not "come around", she refused to talk about it, ignoring her mate when he spoke of it, refusing to see Featherblade at all. Even Summerwind and Winterstag were honestly bewildered by their mother's uncompromising attitude; there was nothing wrong to being shaman-trained. And their sister showed aptitude for some form of magery at least, which was a vast improvement on Summersea's lack of improvement thus far.

But Sera accused them of taking sides, bursting into tears when they pressed her. So they had stopped, instead closing ranks on their sister to show her their support and love. Especially Summerwind, who took time out of his precious sessions with Starsong to talk with her, sit with her, make sure she was alright. Winterstag, being more pragmatic, offered her his expertise in finding different ways for her to do better in her lessons.

Summersea accepted all the attention passively, preferring to disappear into the forest with Kirai or finding any possible way to get out of the ekele, away from her mother's protective stranglehold. Mindful of her promise, and just needing someone to talk to, Kirai was the only other being that knew her mind and heart. Even Featherblade couldn't penetrate the cloak of coolness that she'd woven around herself. Sometimes she spoke in more than monosyllabic terms when talking with her brothers. She accepted her father's quiet lecture on how she needed, at least, to give her mother's way a try.

Sera herself, she would not speak to at all.

She merely stared distantly past her mother's shoulder when Sera sat her down and explained, half tearfully, half in determination, that she was trying to protect her daughter, that such things that Featherblade suggested just weren't suited to Summersea's disposition. She knew it didn't seem fair at the moment but when she grew up, Summersea would thank her for it. A parent's job was to look out for their child, and this was the best way she knew how.

Summersea said nothing.

She refused to be drawn into the mother-daughter bonding experiences that Sera began to more frequently instigate, going through all the ritualistic motions of shopping for dye, walking in town, visiting the tervadis, without any enthusiasm. Not even the new hair pin that her mother bought her could make Summersea any less remote. Summersea nodded and thanked the shopkeeper but she never wore it. She saw it as a bribe, not a gift from the heart, and that made Summersea that much more resentful. The closer Sera tried to tie her in, the more distant her daughter grew.

The tension infected everything around them, growing especially taut and strained in the household. The situation was like a rubber-band stretched to its limit and everyone was braced for the snap.

Because of that, it was strange that when it came, only one person really felt it for what it was.

It came sooner than anyone would have expected, as the family was eating their lunch in an uneasy silence that had grown characteristic of any 'family time' together. Summersea was done first, pushing back her plate and rising to her feet.

Sera cleared her throat, and said, a little too loudly, "Summersea, if you would wait a moment? I…we…" Sera glanced at Moonwind for support. He refused to look at her, "would like to tell you something."

Summersea didn't give any sign of hearing, but she didn't leave either.

"Well…we feel that you have outgrown instruction with Featherblade." Sera fiddled with her napkin as, for the first time in days, Summersea's eyes snapped to hers. Summersea's eyes held a flash of disgust so deep, that Sera wanted to believe, with all her heart, that she had imagined it. So she convinced herself that she didn't see it, instead continuing, "Summerwind's Master, Starsong has agreed to take you on as a pupil, and it isn't as if you will never be able to see Featherblade again. You'll still be allowed to see him and visit his ekele whenever you want. Featherblade says that he'll be glad to have you."

"Would you like to take away Kirai too?" Summersea's voice was rusty from disuse, completely flat and emotionless and at first, no one realized that it was she who had said anything. Her eyes were hooded and dark, not the usual vibrant peridot it usually was and her hands hung loosely at her sides. "He'd be angry at first, but I'm sure that you could eventually talk him into leaving me."

"I'm not—," Sera flushed scarlet, "I am your mother, Summersea. I'm only doing what's best for you."

"Maybe you could convince Summerwind to break our Bond. There has to be a magical way to cut it."

"You're completely misunderstanding what I'm trying to do!"

"You can make every other person disown and forsake me. And the only person I want to get rid of right now is you."

"That's enough!" Moonwind barked, surging to his feet. Sera collapsed in her seat, tears streaming down her cheeks, her shoulders shaking with shock and sobs and her brothers were too stunned to do anything about it. "As long as you live in this household, you will never repeat what you just said. You will treat your mother with the respect she deserves. And right now you will apologize, Summersea." When she said nothing, he snapped, "NOW!"

But she's ruining my life.

Slowly, stiltedly, Summersea forced out a clipped, but oh-so-polite apology, asked to be excused, and left the table.

It wasn't until she got to her room did she feel the curious roar and lightheadedness between her ears. Her heart beat and thrummed like a taut drum, sharp and staccato, so loudly that she was surprised no one else could hear it.

Kirai waited for her as she went into her room. ::Made your choice.::

::Yes.::

***

While her mother worried and fluttered, she studied furiously, poring through every single book and map in the archives until she got a vague idea of the shape and breadth of the Peligar Forest.

While Starsong taught her about leylines and Gifts and Gates, she drilled herself over and over in the little offensive and tactical magic she knew or could wheedle from him. After the lessons, she would practice on her own for hours until she thought she could do nothing better. Starsong remarked, with some surprise, that she was showing a noticeable improvement,  and her parents nodded and murmured in approval, saying it was better now that she was away from Featherblade. Summersea ignored it all.

While her parents worked, she went into the forest and hunted, dried, trapped, gathered roots, early berries, herbs, medicine and planned.

It continued like this for some time until a bright full moon rose full and milky white across the Vale, bathing the trees in translucent, shimmering light.

And at that time, while the Vale slept…

She left.

tbc.

AN: SO SO SO sorry for the rather late post….my life's been one hectic scene with school and all….I hope it was worth the wait!

Shout outs!

JoeyStar: erm…^^;;; I don't think this was quick and I SO am sorry for that, and yes, this is K'Valdemar….I just screwed up and royally confused a lot of people! ^^:;;; Times like these when I wish I had my books with me HERE instead of five hundred some miles away at home! I hope this clears up some of the confusion and I hope you continue to enjoy reading it!

Magdellin: hi hi again! Oh no, I didn't take it as harsh, I thought I had messed up somewhere and I was really grateful for the clear up! *grins sheepishly* excuse me for making it sound as if you were too harsh. Thank you for reviewing again! I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter!

LeopardDance: *blushes* thnx for your compliments! And ermm….how bought I get to keep Featherblade for my stories on the weekdays and you can have him on the weekends?  ^_~ He will hopefully continuing playing some part in the story…or will he? Heehee…

Kenhime: HEY SIS! I don't know if my style's changed all that much, but I think I'm focusing a lot more on the plot than loads and loads of overwhelming description. I think it reminds me of how I wrote PW,  argh….-_-;; still mental blockage with that fic. I don't think I'll ever be able to really let go of it and move on…I need some closure with that fic darnit! *hugs* continue to write! U rock!

Kat-tak: ^^;; sorry t'wasn't soon, but I hope it was soon enough! Take care and hope you liked this chapter!

Jeanne: I think I'll always keep on writing, except not with any great frequency and I always hop around too much but…^^:;;; I blame it on the Aries in me. Heehe….please enjoy!

Sage Twilight: yeah, I have that same problem with short chapters, anything less than seven hundred words makes me go "HUH? wait a moment, there's not more???" ^^;;; I think it's my brother's influence on my writing that makes the chapters so much longer than usual. His chapters are anywhere from ten thousand to twenty thousand words (I CANNOT DO THAT!!) and oh my GOD, some of his stuff is beautiful, even if he doesn't write for Mercedes Lackey (disgust: he calls her feminist sci fi….well poo to him!). I've heard his writing called poetry before, and it really is….I'll keep on hoping that I can write even half as well as he can. In the meantime, I hope you have fun with these small experiments of mine!


Youjibaracuda: *wryly* ur so silly. And u forget, CLARA is the angsty queen, not me! *Hugs* thx for reviewing but u should really read the books Ms. Lackey writes. They're really great, if you love sci-fi. And it's good to be back, even if it isn't under the same name and not writing for the same people. Not that GW has many old writers left.

Trina Ti: *grins* I love the fact that you're asking questions already, and I hope this chapter brought up even more questions to ask as you read! And please take some time from thinking to enjoying the chapter! Heehee…

I hope everyone continues to read! You guys are a very supportive group and it's a pleasure to write here! Thank you for making me feel welcome!