Sushi's version of. . . Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance
Authors Note: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, you know it.
In a underground replica of the Playboy mansion. . .
Playmates (on their knees, bowing at the back of a throne): Princess, we come to tell you something. The throne turns around, revealing Kitana, dressed as a Playmate, with a long purple cape.
Kitana: What do you need to tell me?
Playmate #1: We come to tell you that some guy threw us out of the house we were assigned to.
Kitana (looking in the Manual of Playmate Rules): That's a violation of Page 200, Paragraph 12, Section 8. (throws book over her shoulder) What did this guy look like?
Playmate #2: Well, he had a red hat and metal arms.
Kitana: Jax. (stands up): Well, we're going to teach him not to break the rules of the Playmates.
Playmates: YEAH!
At the Lin Kuei Temple. . .
Sub-Zero (wearing a one-piece leather jump suit): Bitch, come in here!
Frost (walking in, wearing a blue version of Li Mei's alternate outfit): What do you want, whore?
Sub-Zero: There's a portal forming.
Frost (Sarcastically): So there is, your very perceptive.
Sub-Zero: Don't be a smart-ass, bitch! The portal fully forms and everyone steps out.
Kenshi: I smell a pretty lady! (saunters over to Frost) Are you a rabbit lady by any chance?
Frost (snaps her whip at him): Back, whore!
Sonya (sees Frost): Oh no, not her.
Raiden (flicking a cigarette butt away): You know her?
Sonya: Me and her went to High school together. We were the two sluttiest girls in school. We were always competing to see who was the sluttiest. I won. She hated me ever since.
Jax (checking Frost out): From the way I see it, she did.
Raiden (lighting yet ANOTHER cigarette): Sub-Zero, we need you and your bitch to help us kill Shang Tsung and Quan-Chi.
Sub-Zero: Let's go! I'll teach him to refuse to be my bitch!
Raiden (rolls his eyes): Let's go. (forms portal)
Sonya: To the mall.
Raiden (thinking): Damn! I was hoping she'd forget about that.
Kung (to Frost): Can I see your whip?
Johnny: Let's go, G! (everyone steps into the portal)
In Bo'rai cho's kitchen. . .
Announcer: Welcome to Cooking with Bo. Now let's start the show.
Bo (holding up a potato) Today, we are cooking with potatoes
Audience: YEE-HAW!
Bo (singing to the tune of the Mexican Hat song, cutting the potato): Potato, potato, potato. . .
Audience: *CLAP CLAP*
Bo: Potato, potato, potato. . .
Audience: *CLAP CLAP*
Bo: Potato, potato, potato. . .
Audience: *CLAP CLAP*
Bo; Potato, potato, potato
Audience: *CLAP CLAP* Bo: I like to mash my potatoes, I like to fry my potatoes, I like to throw my potatoes, out to the audience (throws potatoes in the audience)
Audience: WOO-HOO!
At some slummy apartment. . .
Nitara (kneeling by three holes in the floor, holding a baseball bat): Come out, you little bastard. A rat pops out of one of the holes.
Nitara: HA! (Goes to hit the rat, but misses) Damn! The rat pops out another hole.
Nitara: GOTCHA! (misses it again) You know! The rat pops out of the last hole.
Nitara: YOUR DEAD! (misses it AGAIN) Shit! The rat pops up again, starting a game of Whack the Rat.
Reptile: Master, I'm back.
Nitara (drops the bat and pulls a piece of cardboard over the holes): Did you get the crack pipe I asked for?
Reptile: No, Master. They didn't have any more.
Nitara: Worthless bitch! (snaps her whip at him)
Reptile: Yes your right. Then there's a knock on the door.
Nitara: Get the door, bitch.
Reptile: Yes Master. (opens the door and Cyrax is standing there)
Cyrax: Can I stay here?
Reptile: Master, there's a yellow robot at the door asking if he can stay here.
Nitara: Ask if he has a crack pipe.
Reptile: Do you have a crack pipe?
Cyrax (opens an arm compartment and takes out a crack pipe)
Reptile: Yes he does.
Nitara: He can stay!
Authors Note: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, you know it.
In a underground replica of the Playboy mansion. . .
Playmates (on their knees, bowing at the back of a throne): Princess, we come to tell you something. The throne turns around, revealing Kitana, dressed as a Playmate, with a long purple cape.
Kitana: What do you need to tell me?
Playmate #1: We come to tell you that some guy threw us out of the house we were assigned to.
Kitana (looking in the Manual of Playmate Rules): That's a violation of Page 200, Paragraph 12, Section 8. (throws book over her shoulder) What did this guy look like?
Playmate #2: Well, he had a red hat and metal arms.
Kitana: Jax. (stands up): Well, we're going to teach him not to break the rules of the Playmates.
Playmates: YEAH!
At the Lin Kuei Temple. . .
Sub-Zero (wearing a one-piece leather jump suit): Bitch, come in here!
Frost (walking in, wearing a blue version of Li Mei's alternate outfit): What do you want, whore?
Sub-Zero: There's a portal forming.
Frost (Sarcastically): So there is, your very perceptive.
Sub-Zero: Don't be a smart-ass, bitch! The portal fully forms and everyone steps out.
Kenshi: I smell a pretty lady! (saunters over to Frost) Are you a rabbit lady by any chance?
Frost (snaps her whip at him): Back, whore!
Sonya (sees Frost): Oh no, not her.
Raiden (flicking a cigarette butt away): You know her?
Sonya: Me and her went to High school together. We were the two sluttiest girls in school. We were always competing to see who was the sluttiest. I won. She hated me ever since.
Jax (checking Frost out): From the way I see it, she did.
Raiden (lighting yet ANOTHER cigarette): Sub-Zero, we need you and your bitch to help us kill Shang Tsung and Quan-Chi.
Sub-Zero: Let's go! I'll teach him to refuse to be my bitch!
Raiden (rolls his eyes): Let's go. (forms portal)
Sonya: To the mall.
Raiden (thinking): Damn! I was hoping she'd forget about that.
Kung (to Frost): Can I see your whip?
Johnny: Let's go, G! (everyone steps into the portal)
In Bo'rai cho's kitchen. . .
Announcer: Welcome to Cooking with Bo. Now let's start the show.
Bo (holding up a potato) Today, we are cooking with potatoes
Audience: YEE-HAW!
Bo (singing to the tune of the Mexican Hat song, cutting the potato): Potato, potato, potato. . .
Audience: *CLAP CLAP*
Bo: Potato, potato, potato. . .
Audience: *CLAP CLAP*
Bo: Potato, potato, potato. . .
Audience: *CLAP CLAP*
Bo; Potato, potato, potato
Audience: *CLAP CLAP* Bo: I like to mash my potatoes, I like to fry my potatoes, I like to throw my potatoes, out to the audience (throws potatoes in the audience)
Audience: WOO-HOO!
At some slummy apartment. . .
Nitara (kneeling by three holes in the floor, holding a baseball bat): Come out, you little bastard. A rat pops out of one of the holes.
Nitara: HA! (Goes to hit the rat, but misses) Damn! The rat pops out another hole.
Nitara: GOTCHA! (misses it again) You know! The rat pops out of the last hole.
Nitara: YOUR DEAD! (misses it AGAIN) Shit! The rat pops up again, starting a game of Whack the Rat.
Reptile: Master, I'm back.
Nitara (drops the bat and pulls a piece of cardboard over the holes): Did you get the crack pipe I asked for?
Reptile: No, Master. They didn't have any more.
Nitara: Worthless bitch! (snaps her whip at him)
Reptile: Yes your right. Then there's a knock on the door.
Nitara: Get the door, bitch.
Reptile: Yes Master. (opens the door and Cyrax is standing there)
Cyrax: Can I stay here?
Reptile: Master, there's a yellow robot at the door asking if he can stay here.
Nitara: Ask if he has a crack pipe.
Reptile: Do you have a crack pipe?
Cyrax (opens an arm compartment and takes out a crack pipe)
Reptile: Yes he does.
Nitara: He can stay!