A/N: Finally, an update! Unfortunately, I can't possibly imagine that I'll
finish this before Order of the Phoenix comes out, and I'm sure my story
will contradict that in oh-so-many ways... *sweat drops* Aha! Alternate
universe! Problem averted.
-----------------------------------------
For Guilt
II: Never a Limit
-----------------------------------------
On September the First, 1970, a quick-stepping servant led Severus to Platform Nine and Three-Quarters, and left.
Looking around himself, Severus felt a loneliness more intense than the norm. Here were whole, loving families exchanging hopeful farewells, children clinging to mothers and fathers as if it were the end of the world. It unnerved Severus. He did not belong in this place with all this happiness. He would burst, pouring forth tears and anger and all the resentment that boiled inside him. His parents would be most displeased by such conduct.
His thoughts were finally brought to an end by the incessant hooting of owls. Severus did not have one; his father had thought enough to purchase textbooks and, of course, crisp new robes. Expensive ones, the kind that could have paid for an owl several times over. Appearances were everything, after all. Bitterly, Severus tried to make the best of it. Who would want such an annoying bird? he asked himself. The hoots could drive one to distraction. Besides, it wasn't like he had anyone back home with whom he could communicate.
He got on the train as quickly as he could, pushing his way through the insipidly smiling crowd. Surprisingly, Severus discovered that the better portion of the students were already on board; he had trouble finding a place to sit. In the end, he sat in one of the backmost cars with a boy his own age and a much older girl, perhaps going into her seventh year. They introduced themselves as Evan Rosier and Narcissa Rookwood; cousins, although they bore as much resemblance to each other as day and night. Narcissa wore a cold, fair look, whereas Evan was of an almost exotically swarthy coloring. Before they introduced themselves, however, they posed a question to Severus:
"Are you a Pureblood?"
Severus stalled. The eyes of the boy and girl bore into him with a ruthless, even contemptuous anticipation. Finally, he found his voice. "Yes, of course," he proclaimed uncertainly. Silence. They still watched him, and it made him uneasy. "M-may I sit here?"
The girl ignored his inquiry and continued. "Are you a Slytherin?"
"Yes," said Severus. He was sure of it. He HAD to be a Slytherin.
"Then you lie. I have never seen you before."
"I'm a first-year."
"Then you guess," piped in the boy.
"You've been making the same assumption all summer, Evan," said the girl. She turned back to Severus. "What is your family name?"
"Snape."
At this, the corners of the girl's mouth turned up ever so slightly. "You'll be Slytherin with a name like that. Sit." Though piqued at being ordered to do so, Severus took a seat. The three adolescents swapped names, and the train started off.
***
The train reached Hogsmeade just as the sun began to set. Severus, Evan, and Narcissa disembarked, the girl wittily disparaging every other student that crossed their path.
"Ludo Bagman...blithering idiot, just like his brother," she said, pointing to a jovial blond boy. "Davy Gudgeon...he's even more stupid. Agatha Spinnet --" a girl with a cascade of red-gold curls walked by -- "she thinks she's hot stuff for the daughter of a Mudblood." Narcissa cast an opprobrious gaze around. "Ugh." They kept walking -- not that they got very far through the crowd -- and another girl accidentally bumped into them.
"Excuse me," the girl said quietly, looking at the three with anxious eyes. "I didn't mean to."
"Why don't you watch where you're going next time?" snapped Evan with a cruelty that took Severus aback. The girl looked at Evan with a blank face except for those fearful eyes and walked away as quickly as possible.
Narcissa wrinkled her nose. "That girl looked just like Professor Figg. If she hadn't been afraid of her own damn shadow, I'd swear she was the bitch's daughter."
"Who's Prof--" Severus began, confused. However, he was cut short by a booming voice a little ways from the train.
"First years, over here!" it called, coming from a gigantic man with a bushy beard and a grin. He held up a lantern. "Come now -- don't be shy." Narcissa, Evan, and Severus parted way, and the two boys approached the man, filled with the hopes of a great new beginning.
-----------------------------------------
For Guilt
II: Never a Limit
-----------------------------------------
On September the First, 1970, a quick-stepping servant led Severus to Platform Nine and Three-Quarters, and left.
Looking around himself, Severus felt a loneliness more intense than the norm. Here were whole, loving families exchanging hopeful farewells, children clinging to mothers and fathers as if it were the end of the world. It unnerved Severus. He did not belong in this place with all this happiness. He would burst, pouring forth tears and anger and all the resentment that boiled inside him. His parents would be most displeased by such conduct.
His thoughts were finally brought to an end by the incessant hooting of owls. Severus did not have one; his father had thought enough to purchase textbooks and, of course, crisp new robes. Expensive ones, the kind that could have paid for an owl several times over. Appearances were everything, after all. Bitterly, Severus tried to make the best of it. Who would want such an annoying bird? he asked himself. The hoots could drive one to distraction. Besides, it wasn't like he had anyone back home with whom he could communicate.
He got on the train as quickly as he could, pushing his way through the insipidly smiling crowd. Surprisingly, Severus discovered that the better portion of the students were already on board; he had trouble finding a place to sit. In the end, he sat in one of the backmost cars with a boy his own age and a much older girl, perhaps going into her seventh year. They introduced themselves as Evan Rosier and Narcissa Rookwood; cousins, although they bore as much resemblance to each other as day and night. Narcissa wore a cold, fair look, whereas Evan was of an almost exotically swarthy coloring. Before they introduced themselves, however, they posed a question to Severus:
"Are you a Pureblood?"
Severus stalled. The eyes of the boy and girl bore into him with a ruthless, even contemptuous anticipation. Finally, he found his voice. "Yes, of course," he proclaimed uncertainly. Silence. They still watched him, and it made him uneasy. "M-may I sit here?"
The girl ignored his inquiry and continued. "Are you a Slytherin?"
"Yes," said Severus. He was sure of it. He HAD to be a Slytherin.
"Then you lie. I have never seen you before."
"I'm a first-year."
"Then you guess," piped in the boy.
"You've been making the same assumption all summer, Evan," said the girl. She turned back to Severus. "What is your family name?"
"Snape."
At this, the corners of the girl's mouth turned up ever so slightly. "You'll be Slytherin with a name like that. Sit." Though piqued at being ordered to do so, Severus took a seat. The three adolescents swapped names, and the train started off.
***
The train reached Hogsmeade just as the sun began to set. Severus, Evan, and Narcissa disembarked, the girl wittily disparaging every other student that crossed their path.
"Ludo Bagman...blithering idiot, just like his brother," she said, pointing to a jovial blond boy. "Davy Gudgeon...he's even more stupid. Agatha Spinnet --" a girl with a cascade of red-gold curls walked by -- "she thinks she's hot stuff for the daughter of a Mudblood." Narcissa cast an opprobrious gaze around. "Ugh." They kept walking -- not that they got very far through the crowd -- and another girl accidentally bumped into them.
"Excuse me," the girl said quietly, looking at the three with anxious eyes. "I didn't mean to."
"Why don't you watch where you're going next time?" snapped Evan with a cruelty that took Severus aback. The girl looked at Evan with a blank face except for those fearful eyes and walked away as quickly as possible.
Narcissa wrinkled her nose. "That girl looked just like Professor Figg. If she hadn't been afraid of her own damn shadow, I'd swear she was the bitch's daughter."
"Who's Prof--" Severus began, confused. However, he was cut short by a booming voice a little ways from the train.
"First years, over here!" it called, coming from a gigantic man with a bushy beard and a grin. He held up a lantern. "Come now -- don't be shy." Narcissa, Evan, and Severus parted way, and the two boys approached the man, filled with the hopes of a great new beginning.